How to be a Great Mentor

How To Be a Great Mentor
Jeremy Cassell and Tom Bird

Topics
 What is mentoring?
 How is mentoring used in business?
 What are the boundaries around mentoring?
 What needs to be in place for you to be a great
mentor?
 3 core skills – questioning, listening and feedback
 What process works for mentoring?
 What do you cover in a first mentoring meeting?

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Definition
Mentoring is a supportive learning relationship in which a
more skilled or experienced, caring person teaches,
encourages, shares knowledge, imparts wisdom,
sponsors, counsels and befriends a less skilled or
experienced individual who is ready and willing to benefit
from this exchange, to enrich his/her professional journey.
Mentoring is a relationship that meets a development
need, helps develop full potential, and benefits all parties -
mentor, mentee and the business.
Or

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There are different types of mentoring…
‒ Developmental mentoring – This is where the mentor is
helping the mentee develop new skills and abilities. The
mentor is a guide and a resource for the mentee's growth.
‒ Sponsorship mentoring – This is when the mentor is more
of a career influencer than a guide. In this situation, the
mentor takes a close interest in the
progress of the mentee (or protégé).
The mentor "opens doors", influencing
others to help the mentee or protégé's
advancement.

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What makes a good mentor?
Time Solutions
Experience
People
Confidence
Encouraging
Respect Caring
“Go to”
person Interest
in others
Communications
skills
KnowledgeInspiration
Sees learning opportunities
not mistakes
Empathy
Patience

Mentoring – a brief history
Alcumus
Telemachus
Athena
Odysseus
Trojan War
& Penelope

Famous mentoring relationships
Mel Gibson mentor to Heath Ledger
Madonna mentor to Gwyneth Paltrow
Audrey Hepburn mentor to Elizabeth Taylor
Bing Crosby mentor to Frank Sinatra

More famous mentoring relationships

Difference between mentoring & coaching
Mentoring
 Ongoing relationship
 Longer term
 More informal
 Focus on career and
personal development
 Assumption of expertise,
knowledge
 Agenda set by mentee
Coaching
 Relationship for a set
duration
 Shorter term
 More structured
 Focus on work-related
issues/ challenges
 No knowledge or
experience required
 Agenda on specific goals

What mentoring is not…
‒ “The answer is …”
‒ “What you must do is”
‒ “You shouldn’t have…”
‒ Sorry, I’m busy”
‒ “I’m just passing through”
‒ “I’ve no idea”
‒ “Can we do this in 5?”
‒ Thinks: “that’s a great story. I
must tell …”

How is mentoring used in
business?

How is mentoring used?
Formal or informal mentoring is used for:
- Career advice
- Transition
- Specific projects
- Growing future leadership talent
- On the job learning
- Induction
- Redundancy/outplacement
- Helping mentees adjust to change
- Succession planning
- Sounding out ideas

Benefits of mentoring
Insights
Learning
institutionalised
Sense of belonging
Advice & experience
Higher performanceQuicker transitionsSense of helping
Improved retentionCareer clarityConfidence
Increased
engagement
SupportSharing Knowledge
Quicker learningSpace to thinkChallenge
For us (the
business)
For them (mentees)For You (mentor)
Team cohesion
Empowerment

ROI of mentoring
Mentoring works. Here is some evidence:
• Retention – 77% of companies reported improvement
after mentoring (Source: Center for Creative leadership)
 Promotion – 75% of executives report mentoring
being beneficial to career (Source: ASTD)
 Productivity – 95% of mentees said the experience
motivated them to do their best (Source: War on talent, Ed
Michaels)
 Personal and professional development – 76% of
Fortune’s top 50 companies offer mentoring (Source:
Fortune)
15

What works? 4 key areas if you want to
foster a culture of mentoring
- Get senior champions on board
- Match mentoring pairs
- Train mentors and mentees
- Set standards, gauge and reward good mentoring

What are the boundaries
around mentoring?

Experience
What are the boundaries and expectations?
Confidential Advice
Focus on what
is important
to mentee
Learning
not blame
Help &
support
Long-term
(6-12 mths)
Feedback is 2-way
Empowers
Honesty &
chemistry
2-3
face to face
Independent,
objective,
outside line
management
Safe &
Non-threatening
Informal
structure
MENTORING

What needs to be in place
for you to be a great mentor?

Insights
Goals
Learning
Provide feedback
Retention
Advice
High expectations of
mentee
ChallengePractice
Self-confidence
ListeningBusiness
Be motivated to
continue growing
QuestioningThe market
Desire to helpEmotional IntelligenceThe organisation
Mind-setSkillsKnowledge
Empowerment

Mindset Behaviors Results
The impact of mind-set

Three Core Skills:
questioning

Great questions
‒ Open are SO MUCH BETTER than closed as
we all know….we need longer answers in
mentoring
‒ Begin with ‘What?’ ‘How’? Why can be used but
be careful of judgment interpretation
‒ Add ‘Tell me more about?’ ‘Describe’
‒ Great for eliciting more detail e.g. “what else did
he say?`’ Use exactly to clarify further
‒ Great for understanding others’ personal
opinions – “What did you think of the strategy
presentation?”

What else on questions?
‒ Use leading questions with care. If you use them
in a self-serving way or one that harms the
interests of the other person, then they can, quite
rightly, be seen as manipulative and dishonest.
‒ Don’t try to disguise a statement as a question –
‘Do you really think you have enough time for
that?”
‒ Make sure that you give the person you are
questioning enough time to respond. Give them
thinking time and avoid interrupting
‒ Of course, your body language and tone of voice
also play a part in the answers you get when you
ask questions
‒ Skillful questioning needs to be matched by
careful listening so that you understand what
people really mean with their answers…

Great listening looks like…
‒ It starts with a real connection – compassion
promotes expansiveness in the brain
‒ What are you listening for?
‒ Suspend your needs and wants – its not
about you, remember
‒ Conscious listening – what is not being said,
what is behind these words?
‒ Use playback – repeat exact words, reflect
back what you see is happening emotionally

SBI feedback model
Setting and circumstances:
when and where
What I saw you do and/or
heard you say
The impact of your
behavior on me, others,
and/or the task

Positive SBI feedback
“I see that you have had success with several pitches and proposals
recently. That’s good.”
More specific and motivating positive feedback:
(Situation  Behavior  Impact)
“You have won several pitches and proposals recently in what has
been a difficult market, with intense competition (situation). I
understand that client feedback has been that these were very well
researched and relevant to their emerging issues (behavior). You have
developed new business and lifted our market profile in this area.
That’s great, well done.”(impact).

Constructive SBI feedback
“You need to improve your people management skills.”
Effectively expressed constructive feedback:
(Situation  Behavior  Impact)
“As you know, a core job expectation of a manager is also to manage
and develop staff. I have received feedback that you could improve in
this area (situation). You need to delegate more, and also provide
timely coaching and feedback to your staff (behavior). This will help
you achieve your goal of taking on more responsibility, and also help
you better develop, engage and retain your staff (impact).”

Situation
Behavior
Impact
3 or 4 positive
1 negative

What is the process you can
use for mentoring?

The 3-Stage Model
Use it to:
1. Map the mentoring process
2. Review the mentoring relationship
3. Enhance a shared understanding of the mentoring
process, and develop mentee’s ability to use it
independently
Exploration1.
Understanding2.2.
Action3.

The Grow Model
G
R
O
W
oal setting
eality
ptions
ill
What do you want? - Short / Long term
Goals
The current situation - challenges,
performance strategy
Brainstorming - explore alternative
courses of action
What WILL be done - when, by whom,
how?

What do you cover in a first
mentoring meeting?

Developing the relationship…
 Check in all the time – is this working? What do we need to do differently?
 Be available (within boundaries)
 Start each meeting with checking in on actions agreed - Avoid going into
judgement if actions not completed
 Meetings and agenda should be driven by mentee – drive this
responsibility
 Relate back to goals/outcome from first meeting
 Focus on important rather than urgent – not about fire-fighting
 Finish with clean break - ensure you do not create dependence

The first session – contracting & foundations
 Exchange information about yourselves
 Mentor and mentee roles – discuss
 Boundaries – confidentiality, what will make this a successful relationship?,
frequency and location, respect each others’ time, decide who will take notes –
typically mentor take notes
 Discuss long-term development – goals and aspirations
• What does success look like – what might get in the way?
• What should the focus of the mentoring be?
• How will you know if it’s worked?
 Deal with most pressing issues
 Handover to mentee to manage meetings from now on
 Follow up - Do what you say you are going to do

For more information and tips on business training visit
Tom Bird and Jeremy Cassell

How to be a Great Mentor

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