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Build Common Values
1. Build Common Values
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(C) Richard Butler www.theweddingcoaches.com
BUILD COMMON VALUES
In terms of relationship, one saying we all probably know is that "Opposite Attracts"
although this statement can be true one must be careful of it as well.
Opposite attracts is a saying that came from individuals who are explorative enough to
have relationships with individuals who are different from them. Nowadays, this applies
to a person who wants to meet new people with a very different attitude compared to
them. People get excited as it's something different, something new, and something
they are not used to.
For example, a cool type of guy courting a quiet type of girl. It may seem a big
challenge and interest for people who believe in OPPOSITE ATTRACTS.
As I learned more this saying, many people I worked with told me that opposite attracts
merely because it is unusual for a person. A well known actor may question themselves
why they are unhappy with their life and relationships, and may settle down with
someone who is not in the show business area. They may do this because they believe
that opposites attract.
It is true enough that it builds interest and curiosity whenever we meet a person that
seems to be unusual but based from my experience and from the stories other people
tell me, it is still advisable to marry the person who lives like us, acts like us and similar
to us!
Why is this you may ask? It is because; in marriage it will be hard for both of you to
make decisions if you have different preferences, upbringing and ways of thinking. I'm
sure a business person thinks differently from an actor, right? A business person thinks
of opportunities while working individual thinks of the glamorous life, parties etc.
It is the same in every aspect of our lives. It is better to have the same kind of
preference in terms of the kind of house, furniture’s, number of children, where to live
etc. When both partners think and feel the same this can make the relationship easier.
Sometimes, having differences creates conflict and gap between couples.
So now, what if you are married with a person with different upbringing. First of all,
don't apply for divorce just because you hear me say this. Pursue your married life and
both of you should try adjusting to each other’s differences. Learn how to understand
and value each other’s opinion. Believe me, you can still change you values and reach
common ground if you really wish.