6. Bright side of RS & teamsBright side of RS & teams
Dark side of RS & teamsDark side of RS & teams
How we create othersHow we create others
Turning the dark intoTurning the dark into
the bright sidethe bright side
Sailing Course
8. What would healthy & empowering
relationships in your live make available for
you – personally &/or professionally?
What would being part of high performance
teams make available for you?
13. Keys to Maintaining Healthy & Empowering Relationships (RS)
Love & acceptance, trust & respect
Idealised positive perception of other
Commitment to making RS work
Willingness to invest time & energy into RS
Focus on how to create a better RS
Willingness to adapt & resolving conflicts
Sharing, reciprocity & fairness
Skills in stopping repetitive spirals of negative reciprocity
Reframing ‘faults’ & giving benefit of doubt
children
Physical & psychological intimacy
14. How could you facilitate team work in
your life?
Pulling together: https://vimeo.com/99080962
Power of teamwork: https://vimeo.com/99082186
16. Who has experienced…
… RS breakdowns?
… doing things you didn’t want to
do but you did them because your
boss told you, everybody else did
them or it was part of your role?
… feeling different & not fitting
in?
17. People think, feel & behave differently
in groups
Social Influence
Deindividuation
become anonymous
give up responsibility for their
behavior
Complying with authority Obedience
Changing to accommodate to fit in
conformity
Changing to fulfil rules, norms & roles
19. 1) What happened in the study?
2) How does the study play out in YOUR life?
3) What are the lessons of the study for YOU & YOUR life?
4) How could you counteract the influence of this interpersonal process?
5) Observations team work – what worked & didn’t work?
OBEDIENCE CONFORMITY PRISON
MILGRIM ASCH ZIMBARDO
20. 1) Team creation
2) Who is your leader, time keeper & writer?
3) What study does your team want to explore?
4) Time: 20 min
5) Presenting
OBEDIENCE CONFORMITY PRISON
MILGRIM ASCH ZIMBARDO
21. 1) What happened in the study?
2) How does the study play out in YOUR life?
3) What are the lessons of the study for YOU & YOUR life?
4) How could you counteract the influence of this interpersonal
process?
5) Observations team work – what worked & didn’t work?
OBEDIENCE CONFORMITY PRISON
MILGRIM ASCH ZIMBARDO
22. Key Take Home Messages
people obey when ordered by
legitimate authority
even if action goes against their
consciousness
people become their roles
roles – what mental models &
behaviours we assoiciate with roles
– strongly influences thinking,
emotions, attitudes, social
cognitions, identities & actions
23. Socialized to obey authority & to conform
internalized
Useful enables & regulates living together
Dangerous if result is harmful
When you think of the long and gloomy
history of man, you will find more hideous
crimes have been committed in the name of
obedience than in the name of rebellion.
C.P. Snow
Everyday life examples
Authority & peer pressure
fashion & body images
marketing
24. WHY?
Difficult to say NO or DISAGREE
want to be liked & accepted human
contact extraordinarily important risk
social disapproval = fear of rejection
fear of serious consequence – disapproval,
disappointment, hurt & anger, humiliation,
teasing, punishment, ignoring, rejection
Ambiguous & crisis situations
unsure & confused = use other people to
define situation = cues to respond esp
experts = believe others are more correct
25. Integrity conflict & internal pressure
agreed & conflicting norms
Getting it right
Deferring personal responsibility “just
following orders”
Self-justification gradual = difficult to
draw the line when to stop
Feel uncomfortable biological evidence
Genuinely believe others are right
26. SOLUTIONS
knowledge: self & others
strong sense of self
acceptance of ambiguity
giving up being liked & fear
willing to withstand repercussions of
disobedience
revoking promise & counteracting
trusting own judgement & accepting
responsibility
Allies – enrolling others
Using social influence to promote beneficial
behavior Psy209 social psych unit
28. How we see the world = active
act of interpreting to impose
order or coherence on a lot of
details by seeing them as a whole
How you understand the details
depends on background & context
previous experiences &
interpretation
environment
Self-fulfilling Prophecy
Interpretations of a situation
evoke actions that make the
interpretations come true
35. Transforming the DARK into the LIGHT in RS
Secret Key
to Creating & Maintaining
Empowering Relationships
in YOUR Life
36.
37. Code of Honour – Chatham House Rules
keep all said confidential
-what is said in the room stays in the room
be playful & open
speak your truth – be yourself
don’t speak over each other
listen
Be generous & none-judgemental – everybody
does the best they can do
respectful & supportive
38. What relationships in your life are important for you?
What relationships are working & which one’s don’t work or not as well as
you like them to work?
Select ONE RS in your life that isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you
like it to work?
39. What is your predictable future in this RS?
What are you already DOING in this RS?
What do you already HAVE in this RS?
Who are you already BEING in this RS?
40. What is it COSTING you?
What is the BENEFIT of keeping RS that way?
41. What is missing in your way of BEING that would make a
difference in this RS?
What would that new way of BEING make available for your
self & others?
42. Express as a
POSSIBILITY
&
Be this POSSIBILITY in your life
You can repeat this process with ANY other RS which aren’t working for you & turn them in fulfilling RS!!!
43. Want to know more?
Social & cultural psychology
Developmental Psychology
Personality
Applied psychology
Introduction to Counselling & Counselling/interventions
44. Key Learnings & Actions
Write down:
3
Key Learnings
Actions you commit to
Share with the person next to you!
Maybe have photos relevant to different disciplines/professions
Learning Outcomes
In the course of this session YOU will: - realize the importance of relationships, teams and interpersonal processes for the quality of their lives - understand the nature of the key interpersonal processes that influence how people interact with each other - understand that you influence your relationships and that your relationships influence your behavior (two-way interactions) - become able to critically reflect on and identify the interpersonal processes that play out in your and people's personal and professional lives using psychological theories and research - become able to distinguish between empowering and disempowering interpersonal processes, and address disempowering processes - gain an access to transforming any relationship into a healthy and empowering relationship - enact and experience interpersonal processes by engaging in the session's team activity
Creating Intended Learning Outcomes - dialogue exploring what does this knowledge and these skills would make available for their lives? - dialogue exploring links between this session and last sessions
Creating Roadmap of lesson - creating metaphor of an exciting discovery journey
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
On any given day 44% of us likely to annoyed by close relational partner
Over time people are meaner to intimate partners than to anyone else they know
Complaining, teasing, ostracism, blaming & making guilty, intentional embarrassing, arrogance, gossip & swearing
Silent treatment
What do you see?
Perception
Can shift between
I have some rules I need you to align on to ensure that we work effectively as a team