1. HOW TO BECOME MORE CONFIDENT
Self-confidence – how you measure your abilities and skills – isn't quite the same thing as
self-esteem, which is how you value yourself as a person. But it is something that people
often say they would like to have more of.
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Whether your self-confidence needs a major boost or just a bit of a top-up, here are some
tips to get you started:
1. Recognise your strengths
Think about how good you feel when someone praises you and shows their appreciation for
something you've said or done. Praise is a great confidence booster, but you don't always
have to rely on others for it.
Give yourself a big pat on the back by thinking about all the things you do well, especially
things you do better than others. Make a list if it helps. Include things such as your skills,
qualifications and contacts. Then when you've finished, make a note of your best
achievements. Be as objective as you can – if you're struggling, try to see yourself through
someone else's eyes. What would they say you do well, or see as your greatest
achievements?
And if a project has just gone badly, focus on an element what went well, as well as learning
from the experience this provided. You can then focus on how you have grown as an
individual and how future projects will be better.
2. 2. Tackle stress
Managing stress is essential if you want to feel confident. If you give into it, you're more
likely to experience negative thoughts – which is something you should avoid if you want
more self-confidence. Learning to control stress, on the other hand, can make you feel you
have control over your life, which itself can be very empowering.
There are lots of things you can do to manage your stress levels more effectively. Taking
regular exercise can help, since exercise releases 'relaxing' hormones called endorphins.
Being active can also give you a boost by taking your mind off any thoughts that might be
chipping away at your self-confidence. So try going for a walk at lunchtime instead of
working through with a sandwich. You could also consider taking up a relaxing activity such
as yoga or t'ai chi, both of which may help you feel calmer.
Meditation is also recommended as a way of reducing stress. Mindful meditation, which aims
to make you more aware of what's happening in the present moment, is recommended by a
growing number of experts these days. Try it yourself by reading our article Managing stress
with mindfulness.
3. Do your homework
Many people, even those who normally feel sure of themselves, find their self-confidence
flies out of the window whenever they're faced with certain situations – making a speech, for
instance, or going for a job interview. Being as fully prepared for the event as possible is the
key to overcoming performance nerves. For example, if you're taking an exam, make sure
you do your studying and revising in plenty of time. Or if you're going for a job interview, find
out as much as you can about the company and the position you're applying for well ahead
of the day itself (read Top ten interview tips for more advice).
If you've done your homework and have all the information you need to do well, it can work
wonders for your confidence.
4. Practise resilience
3. People with bags of self-confidence are rarely put off when they confront obstacles or when
things don't go according to plan. Instead, they embrace new challenges because they aren't
constantly defining themselves by their failures. That way, if they do fail at something, they
are much more likely to consider it as a learning experience than feel despondent about it.
Learning to be more resilient at work and at home means you may be able to cope better
with most of the things life throws at you – and that in itself can give your self-confidence a
huge boost.
For plenty of tips on building your resilience, read our articles 10 ways to boost your work
resilience and Guide to coping with change and boosting resilience.
5. Try something new
You won't do your confidence levels much good if you never try new things. Sticking with
what seems safe and familiar is all very well, but developing self-confidence requires taking
some risks, if only to learn how not to let things get you down when you don't succeed.
Overcoming the fear of failure can be a major confidence builder, but you'll never achieve if
you never step out of your comfort zone.
Start by tackling something small – whether it's work-related or a personal challenge. And if
things don't work out as you'd expected, remind yourself that you're still one step closer to
success.
6. Act confident
If all else fails, fake it. Even if you don't feel particularly confident, act as if you are. You may
be pleasantly surprised at how positively it can affect people's reactions to you. Make sure
4. your body language is confident: stand tall, relax your shoulders and hold your head up.
Remember to keep good eye contact with others and smile – that way, people will see you
as someone who's relaxed and feeling sure of yourself.
There's another good reason why you should practise faking confidence. Many experts also
believe the more you practise acting as if you have lots of self-confidence, the more it will
increase your real confidence levels.