1. 1 | P a g e
Smiling While Surviving
Loving life thru the hard times can most definitely be a challenge, but it is what we all
must do throughout our journey in life. We can easily love life through the happy times
when things are going great for us. However, just as the good times come around so
will the bad times that literally feel like "hell on earth". We will no doubt face adversity
and hardship; there is just no way to escape it. Funny thing is often the adversity and
hardship, can be caused by the people we are closest to, like a spouse, a family member,
a friend in addition to a medical illness or even natural disasters. We have to be
prepared mentally in our mind because it is a guarantee that we will encounter the wild
side of emotions, which can affect our heart while surviving the most challenging
moments, so always be prepared with a positive attitude. (Helpful Hint Proverbs 14:30 -
A relaxed attitude will lengthen your life.)
I know having a positive attitude works because I have personally forced myself to keep
on keeping on throughout my short-lived life. At the age of 35, I found myself filing for
divorce from my husband of almost 16 years because of his infidelity and then seven
months later, I suffered my first near death experience because of an unknown heart
condition and later I found out that I had a rare genetic disorder that practically bed-
ridden me. There were surgeries and doctor appointments. In addition to these
unexpected adversities, three of our dogs died, all at different times, one of our houses
were broken into, and my daughter and I had moved many times.

2. 2 | P a g e
In the midst of dealing with all the life-changing events, I had to stay strong and positive
not only for myself but also for my daughter, who was seven-years-old at the time. Our
world turned upside down within a short period and I had to help her cope with the
same things but in a way so that she could understand them from a child’s point of view.
Some days my eyes swell up with tears when I think back on what my daughter and I
had went through but then I think, "That’s just it we made it through all of those
struggles!"
It was very overwhelming and a tough road to go down. It would have been easy for me
to give up and give in but because I was surrounded by the right people at the right
times I made it, we made it. I can honestly say that it was my faith, my family, my
friends that got me through it mentally. I just kept thinking to myself "Often what I see
as a problem could also be God's protection from something far far worse."
So now, I want to tell you my story a little more in detail on smiling while surviving life's
challenges.

3. 3 | P a g e
NEVER THOUGHT DIVORCE WAS IN MY FUTURE
I discovered that my ex-husband was cheating in March 2009 but because I was
committed to my marriage and our family, I tried to work it out with him. So at this
point, I stopped shredding his clothes and blaming the washing machine or the dog for
it. I guess I was the only one who truly wanted to work it out because over the next few
months I continued to find out he was still seeing her, and their relationship had pretty
much had turned into a full-blown affair.
It was not until after my divorce was final in January 2010 did I take the time to reflect
on my marriage and begin to put this life-changing event into perspective. Although I
realized I put up with a lot of self-created drama, also known as crap, from him I also
had accepted to be loved by this man even though it was an "unhealthy" kind of love.
I was a good wife to him and loved him unconditionally I accepted his faults because I
realize no one person is perfect. His problems were my problems just as his debts were
my debts. When he was discouraged or down, I was there for him. I cooked our meals,
cleaned our house, did our laundry, went to the grocery store and tended to our
daughter. In addition, I worked a full time job. I'm not saying he wasn't there for me
when I needed him throughout our marriage but he took advantage of my goodness and
abandoned me when I needed him the most. I loved him with my whole heart so I was
able to walk away knowing I did my best and I deserved the best.
It had been five months of lies and arguments and I was emotionally exhausted. He
would deny he was involved with her and then turned it around on me as if I was the
one in the wrong. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought to myself "I have to
let it go or we wouldn't make it." Eventually the time came when I decided I am not
going to allow him to continue breaking my heart, and I was done! Enough was enough!
I filed for divorce from my husband in August 2009. Now that I had accepted to end our
marriage in my mind, I now had to convenience my heart that it was over too.

4. 4 | P a g e
I told him he had to leave the house and take his clothes with him. He had moved in
with the woman he had cheated with, and her two kids. Then once the divorce was
final, they had gotten married. "Ouch, that stings a little" I thought but "I know what
kind of man she has now, and I even felt a little sorry for her". At times, I wanted him to
experience the same pain he inflected on me. (Helpful hint: Romans 12-19 "Do not take
revenge my friends, but leave room for God's wrath for it is written "It is mine to avenge,
I will repay" says the Lord.")
However, my heart was full of sadness, grief, anger and the how’s and why’s, it was like I
was experiencing a death in the family. I can remember crying myself to sleep in the
beginning. When I was alone, I would cry. My stomach would be in knots, I had no
appetite. I was devastated and confused and I struggled with feelings of betrayal by the
one who is supposed to have loved me.
In addition to dealing with his callous ways, I had just begun training for a new position
at work. It was very difficult for me to focus on my job most of the time because of
what was going on in my personal life. I managed to keep the flood gates closed on the
river of tears that were leaking through the corners of my eyes. I did not want to cry at
work nor did I want to cry at home around my little girl either. It seemed the only time I
could cry was while driving to work, which in hindsight was not a good idea. If you think
about it, crying while driving could be just as bad if not worse than drinking while
driving.
Nevertheless, the time came when I could not hold those tears back anymore. It was
like the levy giving way in Louisiana when hurricane Katrina hit because of the raging
waters pushing through.
It was a Monday morning and I had just dropped off my daughter at daycare and then
headed off to work. It was a 45-minute drive so I had time to think and after about 15
minutes of driving, I broke down and cried uncontrollably. I eventually pulled into a

5. 5 | P a g e
parking lot for the safety of those around me. There was no way I was going to make it
to work that day and I dreaded calling my new boss to tell him. I knew this may cost me
my job, but I did not care. Nothing matter at this point.
I called him and briefly explained what it was that I was dealing with and sobbing so
much that I could not catch my breath throughout the whole conversation. Looking back
now I wonder if he could even understand what I was saying. However, to my surprise
he was very understanding and even offered me kind words of encouragement, but he
may have been mentally thinking "Oh great, maybe I shouldn't have had hired this lady."
Nevertheless, I say he was God sent.
Back to the day of reckoning, on January 21, 2010, the day my divorce was final; I was
good. I even called my soon to be ex the night before and said to him “I just wanted to
say goodbye to the last 16 years of our marriage.” It was like giving the okay to pull the
plug on the life support of a deteriorating marriage that would never come back alive
again. I had closure and I was happy. After a few more months, I had even come to a
point where I was able to forgive my ex-husband and his now wife and wished them
both the best. In fact, I told her she had done me a favor and that I was the happiest I
had been in a long time, she didn't respond much to my comment.
While going through the divorce was not easy, I truly believe things really do happen for
a reason and who am I to argue with God's plan. I began to get excited to see who the
new love of my life God had in mind for me just like a child is on Christmas Eve while
waiting on Santa Claus. (Helpful Hint Hebrews 11:1 Faith is being sure of what you hope
for and certain of what you do not see.)

6. 6 | P a g e
I felt like I had lost 200 pounds, hence the ex-husband before I actually started to feel
single again. I convinced myself that I had to get out of the house to go do something, I
did not want to sit around the house and sulk over being alone. I lived in my hometown,
so my daughter and I went to high school football games with my parents to watch my
nephew play. From there, I started to run into old friends, and make new ones.
One of my co-workers suggested I do things that were fun for me that I did not do while
I was married. I thought about it and decided to go out dancing with some friends and I
even started to karaoke. We always had a good time. I found myself laughing and not
thinking about my unfair situation, I did not even realize that I had started the healing
process.
However, my daughter was having her own moments of sadness and grief because of
the divorce. She tried to hide it but her behavior showed otherwise. She was lashing
out at others and struggling more in school. She told me she blamed herself for the
divorce and wished things were the way they were before had Dad cheated. I would
assure her that she did nothing wrong and it was not her fault. Sometimes I think those
words must have stuck in her head a little too much because when she gets in trouble
for something at school or home, she will say " It wasn't me momma!"
The divorce brought the two of us closer together because we could both relate to the
same feelings this man put us through just on different levels. I also told her that
sometimes people's feelings change and that is just the way life is sometimes but one
thing that would never change is the love I have for her. She responded "No offense
Mom, but Dad told me the same thing and now he doesn't even come to see me." I was
so sad for her, and it broke my heart to hear this seven-year old little girl say something
so grown up.

7. 7 | P a g e
Unfortunately, as time went on my daughter seen less and less of her Dad, and
eventually he stopped calling her and paying child support. She was the only one
making any effort to have a relationship with him and when she did call him, he would
keep the conversation short. She was hurting on the inside and had become very
insecure and still thinking that she had done something wrong. Again, I knew where she
was coming from because I had those exact thoughts in the beginning.
She was embarrassed if the other kids at school knew her parents were divorced and
that her Dad did not come to see her. She had such sadness when she seen other
children hugging and playing with their Dad, she wanted that to and it made her miss
him even more. From time to time, when she did talk to him and he would tell her that
he would be coming to see her or have lunch with her at school and she would get so
excited. As the day got closer, he either stopped taking her calls or had an excuse at the
last minute why he was not going to make it. She would be so upset and cry.
This broke my heart to see her so sad because of his lies and broken promises and it
brought up the way I had allowed him to treat me. I thought to myself I am her mother
and since I can see the "bigger picture", after all she was only seven, and I had to protect
her from this type of emotional pain.
I told I loved and cared for her so much, that I was not going to allow her Dad or anyone
to hurt her feelings like this. I refused to let her innocence's as a child be taken from
her. Therefore, she was not going to be able to call her Dad anymore, however if he
called she can talk to him then. She knew he was not going to call her because he rarely
did. She was upset with me and blamed me because she did not get to see her Dad at
first, but deep down she knew I was right.
It took a couple of weeks but I started to see a positive change in her attitude at school
and at home. She had begun to focus on kid stuff again and that is what she is supposed
to be doing at her age. Little by little, her inner child was coming through. She was able
to spend time thinking about her friends and books and playing instead of having her

8. 8 | P a g e
thoughts clouded with the how's and why's of her Dad not being there for her. Day by
day, my daughter and I continued to adjust and move forward with our newfound lives.
It was for school for her and work for me.
My advice is don’t attempt to go through any hard times on your own. Surround
yourself with people that help you to laugh and encourage you to stay strong. Find a
friend you can trust and talk too about everything. Talking about the pain you are
experiencing is part of the key to surviving the wild side of emotions, in addition to
having a positive outlook.
Eventually you have to develop an attitude that this is a “walk in the park” and allow
time to heal your wounds. Be quick to forgive and forgive over and over if you have too,
doing this will help you to accept the things you cannot change. Always allow peace,
love, and joy into your heart as a replacement for the hate and resentment you are
feeling. You have to keep your mind from focusing on your bad situation, perhaps find a
hobby or even coaching a soccer team. That's what I did. (Helpful Hint – The Serenity
Prayer “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to
change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.”)
One afternoon my daughter brought home a form from school for soccer tryouts and
she was very interested in playing. I thought it would be good for her so I signed her up.
Afterwards I found out the league was in need of coaches and because I was guilt ridden
for the kids, I volunteered to coach her team. I thought, "How hard could this be, you
kick the ball and hopefully it makes it into the goal."
The league required the coaches, to attend a training session for one day. They gave
me a book about the rules of soccer and techniques on getting the ball down the field
and wished us luck. The training session was not far from my sister's house so I decided
we would stay with her that weekend.

9. 9 | P a g e
This is when I encounter my first near death experience.
300 BEATS A MINUTE
In was a typical Sunday morning and like every Sunday I was up early to make sure I did
not miss the 9:00 a.m. Joel Osteen ministry on television. After it was over, I went in the
kitchen to get my daughter some orange juice. I had just closed the refrigerator door
and turned to put the cup on the counter when all of the sudden it felt like someone
had just flipped on a switch to my heart and it began beating erratically out of control!
I felt very dizzy so I immediately sat on the floor in front of the refrigerator so that I
would not fall. I managed to crawl into the living room and lay down on the couch. The
pressure in my head made it feel like it was about to explode, my ears had a constant
high pitch ringing; it felt like my heart was up in my throat and was choking me. I began
gasping for air because it was hard to breathe. My entire body was in-sync with every
pounding beat.
I think it had been about 30 to 40 minutes of this insane and out of control, pulsating
beat and I did not know what to do. I kept thinking that it would slow down and go back
to normal but the intensity just continued to get worse. Thank goodness, my sister did
not listen to me when I said, "No, don't call 911, it is going to slow down." She told me
that was too much pressure on my heart and was already on the phone dialing 911.
When the paramedics arrived, they hooked me up to a blood pressure monitor and said
my heart rate was at 300 beats per minute, which is about five beats per second. They
loaded me up on a stretcher and transported me to the ambulance. One of the
paramedics told me they were going to inject me with medicine that would completely
stop my heart for about four to five seconds because it would bring my heart rate down.
I never lost conscious and I felt that I had to reiterate to them what it was they had just
told me but in a little more of a panicky voice. “WHAT! You have to completely stop my
heart for about four to five seconds, and then it is going to restart on its own…and this is

10. 10 | P a g e
what has to be done!?! Are you sure there is no other way to fix this?” I remember I
was pointing my index finger at them and asking, “You are SURE it’s going to restart,
right?” I was a bit skeptical to trust them but then saving lives was their specialty. They
assured me it would and obviously, it did.
I never experienced anything like this before but when my heart stopped, it seemed like
hours not minutes. It was the weirdest and most horrible feeling and I will never forget
what it felt like when my heart did stop. I remember the cold numb tingling sensation
that started in my feet and then like an arctic tsunami wave it rushed up through my
legs towards my upper body, as if death was washing over me and I could physically feel
it happening and it was out of my control. My chest caved in and I took what seemed to
be my last breath and shouted out “Oh my God, if this is what it feels like to die, I don’t
ever want to die!”
Once my heart did restart, I then began to feel the calm after the storm inside my body
and gradually my heart rate decreased little by little. The paramedics also said if my
sister had not called when she did, I would have died; my heart would have exploded. I
trust and believe that God had guided my path exactly to where I was supposed to be
that morning. My sister and the paramedics were all God sent that day. (Helpful hint - 1
Samuel 30:8 Always trusting Him for daily guidance and for direction in every decision)
While on the way to the hospital, they told me that I had Super Ventricular Tachycardia,
SVT, which essentially meant I had too much electricity in my heart. I didn't even know
we had electricity in our hearts.
I remembered having that shocking thing happen when I would get out of the car or
touch someone, sometimes there would even be a spark, I just assumed that was
normal. I also started questioning if I drained my watch batteries because they always
seemed to stop working after just a few months.
The next couple of weeks my energy level was very low and I was only able to stay
awake for a few hours before I would have to lay down and sleep. A cardiologist had

11. 11 | P a g e
had ran tests on my heart and informed me there was no damage but he also explained
to me like this; "If you compared a heart to a tire and continued to do burn outs the tire
will wear down more quickly and then you have to get a new tire." I got what he was
saying. He then referred me to an electrical heart doctor.
I scheduled an appointment with this doctor, who advised me I would be a good
candidate for a cardiac ablation otherwise there was a good chance this type of episode
could happen again. What this means is that he would insert a small tube into the main
artery in my thigh that leads to my heart. Then freeze the areas of my heart that had
too much electricity. I agreed to the have the procedure done because he sounded like
he knew what he was talking about and I knew absolutely nothing about how to fix this
problem.
Just before my cardiac ablation surgery in April 2010, I recall telling my friends, “You
know, I’ve only met this doctor once and the next time I see him he is going to be
maneuvering wires inside my body and freezing certain parts of my heart. I just feel like
we should get to know one another a little more, you know to develop some trust on
my part. Maybe have lunch and hangout.” I guess you could say I had issues with
trusting people, naturally, but I had to trust him because I knew hanging out with the
doctor prior to my surgery was not going to happen.
No one else in the family had a history of this type of heart condition and I was nervous
and scared because we just didn't know what to expect. However, I found comfort in my
family that was there by my side the whole time.
The doctor could told me that I could only be lightly sedated because my heart had to
beat enough so that he would be able to locate the areas that had the most electricity
and then freeze it. When he touched the part of my heart with the wire catheter he had
inserted my heartbeat would accelerate to almost 300 again, I know this because I could
feel it beating that fast, and see it on the monitor. It was that miserable feeling I had
already experienced again. However, after seven hours in surgery, I was finally moved
into recovery. The next day my electrical heart doctor told me that he had frozen seven

12. 12 | P a g e
areas of my heart that had the most electricity at 70 degrees below, with one area being
very risky however the procedure was a success. I was relieved but I felt I had to ask if
there was a chance that it would defrost, it seemed like a fair and legitimate question.
That was the first time I seen him laugh as he answered "No, it will not defrost". He also
mention that I was a challenge and above normal. I laughed and said, “It’s finally been
confirmed!”
I had the cardiac ablation done on a Thursday, and was supposed to be able to return to
work by the following Monday but that day did not come until almost 3 months later.
When the doctor was beginning to perform the cardiac procedure, it took 45 minutes to
insert the catheter into my main artery because my vein was tiny and deep inside my
leg. This resulted in nerve damage in my leg and because I was on the table for seven
hours, I ended up with a protruding disc and a herniated disc in my lower back. I could
barely walk nor could I sit or stand for very long because I was in so much pain.
After meeting with one doctor and then another doctor, I eventually had to see a
physical therapist. I started physical therapy that consisted of light water exercises and
back massages, which was painful as heck in the beginning but after two months, I was
back on my feet again pain free. They too were God sent.
I was finally able to return to work full time and then switching into "mommy mode" at
the end of the workday. Unfortunately, three months later, my heart rate accelerated
to over 200 beats a minute on yet another Sunday but this time it was just me and my
daughter at home. I did not waste any time on calling 911. My daughter started to get
scared when she realized I was calling 911 and began crying asking me "Mommy are you
going to be okay?" over and over. I tried to comfort her saying "Yes honey, mommy is
going to be fine", but honestly I really did not know for sure, I was scared too. I thought
that after having the cardiac ablation I would not have this problem happen again.

13. 13 | P a g e
I was able to call my mom and let her know what was happening and she came right
over. The paramedics arrived and gave me a different type of medicine compared to
the first time to help bring my heart rate down which did not involve stopping it, much
to my relief. The ironic thing about the paramedics coming out again, is that the one
female paramedic that took care of me so well and calmly talked me through it at my
sister's house, was there that day also and she remembered me too. I will never forget
her because she had the same name as my little girl, she was definitely God sent for a
reason. There is no such thing as coincidences.
THYROIDS - THE ENGINE FOR YOUR HEART AND BRAIN
At the hospital, the doctors ran tests that showed I had two nodules on my thyroid and
suggested this is what most likely caused my heart to reach the 200 beats a minute and
not SVT.
One of my friends went with me to see my thyroid doctor because she was going to
biopsy the nodules to make sure they were not cancerous.
For those of you that are a visual kind of person, picture this; I was awake the whole
time and only received a numbing gel on the top of my skin. Then she injected or what
felt like she'd jabbed a 4-inch needle into the base of my neck through the muscle and
then reaching the nodules. As she was doing this, I was wondering if she was having a
bad day, or something. Anyways, she did this seven times in less than five minutes!
Good grief, it hurt so bad!! I felt sick to my stomach, broke out in a sweat and had that
mouth-watering sensation going on not to mention a golf ball size knot on my neck
afterwards. My friend drove me home because I was in so much pain.
About a week later, the results were in and it was non-cancerous. Hallelujah! However,
my thyroid doctor suggested it would be best to have my thyroids removed because it
was affecting the most important organ in my body, the heart. So she referred me to an
Ear Nose Throat (ENT) surgeon.

14. 14 | P a g e
I made an appointment to see the ENT doctor and after meeting with him, he scheduled
me for surgery by the end of the week. On the day of my surgery, which was set for
2:00 p.m., I received a call from one of the nurses in his office letting me know that he
had a cancellation earlier in the day and they could move me to noon if I liked. Since I
had to vast, my first thought was that this meant that I would get to eat sooner. I
agreed to the earlier appointment but before the nurse and I hung up, I asked her how
the doctor was doing. The phone went silent, and I said "I am just asking if he appears
to be in a good mood or a bad mood?" She chuckled and responded, "I have only seen
him a couple of times this morning but he seems to be doing alright, I even seen him
smiling."
The surgery only lasted about an hour and I was out. I had a morphine drip that went
off about every 15 minutes and if I needed more, I just had to push this tiny little red
button and then I would drift off into "LaLa Land" followed by pain free sleep. The
doctor kept me in the hospital for observation and then released me to go home the
next day, without the morphine drip. Oh man I did not realize how much pain I was in
once the morphine had worn off. I had an incision across the base of my neck about as
long as your index finger. These days they don't use stitches to much but instead they
use glue to close the incisions. My parents had picked me up and then we got my
prescriptions and we went back to my house.
I slowly made my way into the house, and when my daughter seen me for the first time
since the surgery and she says with a crinkled nose and watery eyes, "Mommy, what did
they do to you?" I told her I was fine and this was just another thing that had to be
done in order to help take care of my heart. But I was not fine, I was in a lot of pain. I
never realized how much we use the muscles in our neck! It even hurt to yawn. I had to
sit up and sleep at about a 60-degree angle, and whenever I sat all the way up it felt like
the incision was stretching and tearing open.
After about four weeks, I started feeling better and was moving around more. My ENT
doctor cleared me to return to work after the fifth week.

15. 15 | P a g e
STAYING STRONG
My heart and body were physically exhausted, I had been through so much that year.
First it was the divorce in January and then in March the whole 300 beats a minute
happened, and after one month the cardiac ablation was performed, and then two
months of pain and physical therapy. Next, it was August when the 200 beats a minute
thing happened only to find out it was because of a hyperactive thyroid which would
consist of a 4-inch needle being jabbed into my neck as well as the surgery to have my
thyroids removed to fix another problem that affected my heart. All the while, I was
maintaining my job in between the surgeries and being a full time mommy and paying
the bills. Not to mention at this point, my ex was still not trying to have a relationship
with our adopted daughter nor did he pay any child support.
I had days when I felt like giving up because it was too much. As time went on, I
continued to miss work. My energy level had dropped and I could barely make it
through some days, there were times I yelled out "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!",
but it had happened, so what was I going to do about it.
I still had that struggle going on back and forth in my mind I felt that I might have to
accept that this condition might not go away and that made me sad. It was almost like
the emotions from the divorce but this time I did not really have anyone to be mad at or
directly blame. All these questions came into my mind again, "what am I going to do",
"what if I can't work full time or even loose my job". "How am I going to take care of
us?" Not only was I sad but I was scared too. When I was alone, I cried and cried.
I did not understand, after everything I had been through and I was still having these
problems. Eventually my electrical heart doctor said that he had exhausted all of his
treatment options on what to do for me and suggested I get a second opinion.

16. 16 | P a g e
Once again, I was devastated and lost, I did not know where or who to turn to for help.
The only thing I had to go off was at one time I remembered my electrical heart doctor
thought I might have what's known as Postural Orthstatic Taychardia Syndrome (POTS).
I started doing my own research and found that I did have many of the same symptoms
as described. Fortunately, I found out there were only two cardiologists in my state that
specialized in POTS and they were both over 200 miles away from my home. This was a
decision I had to make and hoped that they would be able to help me to have a better
quality of life.
MY SPECIALIST WAS SPECIAL
I decided to take a chance on seeing one of the cardiologists that specialized in POTS but
I knew that I was not going to be able to make the drive by myself because there was a
chance I might pass out. One of my friends was familiar with the Dallas area and agreed
to go with me. We left on a Monday morning for an appointment that was scheduled
for me that afternoon.
After a week of going through about 10 different tests, I had become physically and
emotionally drained. By the end of the week, the doctor diagnosed me with POTS. I had
already read there was no cure for the condition and he confirmed that. In addition, he
told me that POTS was a symptom to a more underlying condition. He referred me to a
genetic specialist that was not far from his office to validate his suspicions that I may
have Elhen-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) Hyper Joint Mobility.
In June, I met with the genetic specialist whom also confirmed that I did indeed have
EDS Hyper Joint Mobility. Hyper Joint Mobility is a protein deficiency and the body does
not produce enough of collagen causing the joints to over extend which slows the blood
circulation down. The collagen is like the glue that holds everything together on the
inside.

17. 17 | P a g e
This genetic disorder triggered symptoms of Postural Orthopedic Tachycardia Syndrome
(POTS) and I ended up with Autonomic System Failure (ASF). Basically there is a
disconnect with my heart and autonomic system therefore causing my blood pressure
to drop upon standing and then it's a domino effect of problems from that point.
The Autonomic System controls all of our involuntary body organs, such as your heart
rate, blood pressure, blood circulation, and even your digestion and eyes. In addition, I
dealt with multiply symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, sensitivity to the heat and cold
temperatures as well as dehydration. I told a friend one day "I can't even afford to cry
because it will cause me to dehydrate!"
The disorder affects my blood vessels and causes the blood to pool in my legs and
hands. For example if you were to take a water bottle that is half full and lay it down
and then stand it back up causes the water to stay at the bottom of the bottle because
of gravity. Much like what I have to deal with because my blood stays at the bottom of
my legs not pumping back up to my heart like it should.
However, I am so glad that I took a chance on the Specialist because for the first time in
a long time he gave me hope for my future and sometimes that is all you have to go on.
The doctors gave me a customized exercise treatment plan to help manage this
condition, which I have been doing for years. It definitely made a difference.
My doctors have told me that I am rare and special, who knows maybe there is a chance
I will go down in medical history one day! I have even told some people "I've always
thought about going into the medical field, but I didn’t want to be the patient."
While adjusting to yet another unexpected life-changing event, I chose to make the
necessary changes in my daily activities because I wanted to be here for my babygirl and
see her dreams come true.

18. 18 | P a g e
I remember people would say, “After everything you’ve been through how are you still
smiling” or “How is it you are so positive after everything?” I laughed and told them
with a smile “I know I’m in good hands aka God’s hands and I have no worries.” (Helpful
Hint: John 11:4 - When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No,
it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it.")
TRUST CHANGE
I do what I have to do to get through the tough times but not to the extent of hurting
myself or anyone else. Even if it means just is getting away from reality for a few hours
and enjoying some time with my faith, family or friends. I knew my situation was going
to turn around eventually and so will yours.
Bad things happen to good people, but when you are able to say "God I have no idea
what my future holds, but I trust you because you love me", that is your faith talking. I
have come to realize that nothing on earth is forever except the love I have in my heart
for Jesus and the love He has for me. Every situation changes and evolves but you have
to be willing to evolve with it and if you can't accept change it's likely you will struggle
until you do. (Helpful Hint: Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for
you.)
Eventually my situation had begun to turn around and things started to fall into place
for me. I was very happy with the way things were naturally playing out. I was not trying
to control the outcome and it was more than I could've imagined, it was perfect. He
promises to give us roses for our ashes. In other words, He will give you good for all the
bad that has happened.
While you are waiting on Him to work in your life, pass your time by laughing you’re
your family and friends. I love the sound of laughter, it makes me laugh, plus it made
me feel better on the inside and more positive about my future. It's never a good idea
to sit around and let your mind run wildly, it will get the best of you.

19. 19 | P a g e
Another important factor is to be willing to accept change, even if it means you have to
give up something or someone that you love. Don't ask God for help if you are not
willing to move your feet. I know He has my back, and He always has. I didn't realize this
while I was in the moment but when I took the time to reflect on everything that had
happened it helped to put things into perspective. I’ve come to believe that He always
has a path of protection set up for us me when an unfair circumstance arises. If God
brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
You see I know life can be hard, but things do get better no matter what it IS you are
going through. Having a positive attitude will get you God’s promotion. It is okay to cry
if you feel like you have to cry, it is actually healthy. There would be days that I had to
find the strength to smile even when I did not want too. I have read that depression is
not a sign of weakness, but a sign of being strong for too long.
You know we should be so lucky to have those annoyingly positive people tell us “it’s
going to be okay, things happen for a reason, or they didn’t deserve you”. Though I
heard what they were saying, sometimes I translated it to “blah blah blah”. Fortunately,
they were right and thank goodness, I did not tune them totally out!
We just don't know what tomorrow brings, I encourage you to focus on one day at a
time, and literally take the time to stop and smell the roses. Enjoy doing what makes
you happy. Do what it takes to help make some ones day better. I've been forced to
slow down and try not to take on the world in one day, God didn't do it all in one day so
we shouldn't either. (Helpful hint: Provers 3:6 In everything you do, put God first, and
he will direct you and crown your efforts with success.)

20. 20 | P a g e
Also, look for opportunities to grow and learn something about yourself and others, no
matter how small or petty it may seem. Change your way of thinking and try to see the
good in everything and everyone, be understanding and non-judgmental. Let the good
advice, the positive words soak in. When you can do this, you have begun the phase of
healing your heart and soul and in time you will start finding that you are a happier and
stronger person than you were before.
I love my life and all who are in it. For some reason or another, everyone that comes
across our paths, past and present, are suppose too. We all have a divine connection to
one another and it’s all in God’s timing. My tests have become my testimonies and I
hope that I am able to help others who are enduring their times of tribulation. I am
more compassionate towards others because you never know what challenges they are
facing.
Lets be there for one another and bestow friendly smiles, show love and kindness if not
through our actions but by our words.
Keep smiling while surviving and learn to love life thru hell because that's what it is all
about. We should always encourage and inspire those that are sad and helping one
another to realize it is the simplest things in life that make it so sweet. Hardships come
and go, some over stay their visit, but at this point I have more love in my heart now
than ever and I can’t wait to meet the lucky guy who gets all my love.
(Helpful hint Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”)