1. ““Winning EdgeWinning Edge””
Negotiating Skills WorkshopNegotiating Skills Workshop
The Principles & Practices ofThe Principles & Practices of
Interpersonal EffectivenessInterpersonal Effectiveness
PresentsPresents

2. Most Common Negotiating MistakesMost Common Negotiating Mistakes
Not realizing when negotiationsNot realizing when negotiations BeginBegin
Underestimating of onesUnderestimating of ones PowerPower
GivingGiving concessionsconcessions toto EarlyEarly,, OftenOften andand EasilyEasily!!
NotNot PreparingPreparing effectively, thus failing to understand theeffectively, thus failing to understand the
other partyother party
Allowing the negotiations to becomeAllowing the negotiations to become AdversarialAdversarial
Failing to negotiateFailing to negotiate InternallyInternally firstfirst
Letting yourLetting your EGOEGO (emotions) get in the way(emotions) get in the way

3. Most Common Negotiating MistakesMost Common Negotiating Mistakes
A mind-set that it isA mind-set that it is RigidRigid, failing to listen & understand, failing to listen & understand
SayingSaying YesYes to things that you have not previously thoughtto things that you have not previously thought
throughthrough
Failing to callFailing to call Time - OutTime - Out, in the heat of the action, in the heat of the action
Not knowing when toNot knowing when to WalkWalk awayaway
Failing to recognize when we areFailing to recognize when we are NotNot dealing with a win –dealing with a win –
win negotiatorwin negotiator
Ineffective follow- throughIneffective follow- through

4. 1010 Things you must Know about Lower BrainThings you must Know about Lower Brain
 It operates on aIt operates on a subsub - conscious level- conscious level
 It has only one purpose – to keep usIt has only one purpose – to keep us safesafe
 Always using 5Always using 5 sensessenses to scan environment looking forto scan environment looking for
potential threats and dangers … Can’t tell the differencepotential threats and dangers … Can’t tell the difference
between some real and imaginedbetween some real and imagined
 It is the well-spring of all humanIt is the well-spring of all human emotionsemotions (Seat of(Seat of
Values and Beliefs)Values and Beliefs)
 Wants immediateWants immediate gratificationgratification … Does not anticipate… Does not anticipate
consequences well … Thinks short-termconsequences well … Thinks short-term
Success Insight # 1 - Biology of BehaviorSuccess Insight # 1 - Biology of Behavior

5. Success Insight # 1 - Biology of BehaviorSuccess Insight # 1 - Biology of Behavior
 Operational system is “association” always asks … “WhatOperational system is “association” always asks … “What
does thisdoes this meanmean” … Meaning is” … Meaning is PositivePositive oror NegativeNegative
 It is largelyIt is largely visuallyvisually drivendriven
 It is aIt is a outcome basedoutcome based mechanismmechanism
 Unlimited source ofUnlimited source of creativitycreativity
 It is the seat of procedural memory or onesIt is the seat of procedural memory or ones habithabit patternspatterns
1010 Things you must Know about Lower BrainThings you must Know about Lower Brain

6. Negotiating – Best PracticesNegotiating – Best Practices
 In any long-term relationship, your method of negotiating canIn any long-term relationship, your method of negotiating can
only be based on the guiding principle -only be based on the guiding principle - Win/ WinWin/ Win oror nono DealDeal!!
 Learn to “Learn to “Sit on your own shoulderSit on your own shoulder””
 Separate person from issuesSeparate person from issues … Be objective &… Be objective & LogicalLogical
level …level … Be soft on people & hard on issuesBe soft on people & hard on issues
 Build in asBuild in as many variables as possiblemany variables as possible …. Greater number…. Greater number
of options … Avoids take-it-or-leave win-lose situationof options … Avoids take-it-or-leave win-lose situation
 Never sayNever say YesYes to anything you have not previously thought-to anything you have not previously thought-
out … “I will get back to you quickly on that one.”out … “I will get back to you quickly on that one.”
 WheneverWhenever disagreementdisagreement arisesarises ask questionsask questions andand listenlisten
 When emotions are running high call for aWhen emotions are running high call for a TimeTime -- OutOut

7. ““Collaborative Problem Solving” ProcessCollaborative Problem Solving” Process
1.1. DefineDefine in terms ofin terms of needsneeds && interestsinterests, not, not PositionsPositions!!
CreateCreate Win-WinWin-Win modemode byby discoveringdiscovering needsneeds && interestsinterests
BehindBehind their position … What’stheir position … What’s truly importanttruly important to them!to them!
I.I. Seek firstSeek first toto UnderstandUnderstand and demonstrate that you doand demonstrate that you do
II.II. State concisely your needs, interests and restrictionsState concisely your needs, interests and restrictions
III.III. Repeat until both parties understand the otherRepeat until both parties understand the other
2.2. BrainstormBrainstorm possible alternative solutions … Best Practicespossible alternative solutions … Best Practices
I.I. Sit side by side facing the problemSit side by side facing the problem
II.II. Employ a “Employ a “No CriticismNo Criticism” rule” rule
III.III. Record all ideas in full viewRecord all ideas in full view

8. ““Collaborative Problem Solving” ProcessCollaborative Problem Solving” Process
3.3. EvaluateEvaluate the alternative solution against the needs &the alternative solution against the needs &
interests of both parties … Best Practices …interests of both parties … Best Practices …
I.I. Group alternative solutions into broad categoriesGroup alternative solutions into broad categories
II.II. Star the most promising alternative solutionsStar the most promising alternative solutions
III.III. Work on improving and / or combining alternativeWork on improving and / or combining alternative
solutionssolutions
4.4. Make DecisionMake Decision – Only agree to solutions that both parties– Only agree to solutions that both parties
feel Good about!feel Good about!
5.5. Develop an “ActionDevelop an “Action PlanPlan” … WHO does WHAT by WHEN” … WHO does WHAT by WHEN

9. Competitive Negotiations - GuidelinesCompetitive Negotiations - Guidelines
 We mustWe must learnlearn toto identifyidentify && defenddefend against hard ball tacticsagainst hard ball tactics
 Guiding PrincipleGuiding Principle - Win the best possible deal for self / us,- Win the best possible deal for self / us,
without making the counterpart feel like they lostwithout making the counterpart feel like they lost
 Ask for more than you expectAsk for more than you expect … Why??… Why??
– Higher opening positionHigher opening position thethe betterbetter thethe outcomeoutcome
– You justYou just might getmight get what you ask forwhat you ask for
– LeavesLeaves room to haggleroom to haggle
 Build inBuild in bufferbuffer by “by “bracketingbracketing” your offer in preparation to” your offer in preparation to
““split the differencesplit the difference” …” …
 Always beAlways be reluctant sellerreluctant seller and anand an unenthusiastic buyerunenthusiastic buyer!!! …!!! …
Demonstrates “walk-away” powerDemonstrates “walk-away” power

10. Competitive Negotiations - GuidelinesCompetitive Negotiations - Guidelines
 IfIf buyer request cost breakdownsbuyer request cost breakdowns; If; If sellingselling trytry notnot to giveto give
 Making theMaking the first offerfirst offer ……
– Try to get the other person to makeTry to get the other person to make firstfirst offeroffer
– If “Price Range” hasIf “Price Range” has notnot been set … Make first offerbeen set … Make first offer
– Never sayNever say YESYES to first offer … to avoid “to first offer … to avoid “winners cursewinners curse””
 Never give without aNever give without a GETGET! … Why! … Why
– You justYou just might getmight get what you ask forwhat you ask for
– Elevates the value of the concessionElevates the value of the concession
– STOPS further requests for further concessionsSTOPS further requests for further concessions
– Don’t trust – “I’ll make it up to you later”Don’t trust – “I’ll make it up to you later”
 TactfullyTactfully testtest theirtheir estimatesestimates,, statisticsstatistics, averages and facts!, averages and facts!
… Encourage use of… Encourage use of objective criteriaobjective criteria

11. Competitive Negotiations - GuidelinesCompetitive Negotiations - Guidelines
 Shut up!! … Info isShut up!! … Info is PowerPower, less they know about the better!, less they know about the better!
 Discover other persons “Discover other persons “degree of authoritydegree of authority” ASAP” ASAP
 If identify manipulative tactic –If identify manipulative tactic – NameName it! … “You wouldn’t useit! … “You wouldn’t use
 MakingMaking concessionsconcessions – Best Practices …– Best Practices …
– Conserve your concessions - Make themConserve your concessions - Make them SLOWLYSLOWLY
– Make them with regret orMake them with regret or painpain
– Ensure counterpart fullyEnsure counterpart fully appreciates valueappreciates value of concessionof concession
– MakeMake smallsmall concessionsconcessions
– Don’tDon’t make firstmake first concessionconcession
– Do make lastDo make last concessionconcession
– BewareBeware late in processlate in process

12. Competitive Negotiations - GuidelinesCompetitive Negotiations - Guidelines
 Don’t be fooled by “Don’t be fooled by “FunnyFunny money”money”
 YIKESYIKES! … When other party requests a concession or favour! … When other party requests a concession or favour
- use the- use the WinceWince or in extreme cases, the full-bodyor in extreme cases, the full-body FlinchFlinch!!
 Don’t overreact to threats and deadlines - … demonstrateDon’t overreact to threats and deadlines - … demonstrate
““assertive pacifismassertive pacifism”… Ask questions and”… Ask questions and ListenListen!!
 Take goodTake good NotesNotes! Power goes to the person with the best! Power goes to the person with the best
documentation! … Low Trust – High Notes!documentation! … Low Trust – High Notes!
 Learn to walk away and then walk back gracefully withoutLearn to walk away and then walk back gracefully without
losing facelosing face
 LeverageLeverage Time PowerTime Power ……
– Try to identify counter-parts true time line or real deadlinesTry to identify counter-parts true time line or real deadlines
– Try not to disclose your own time lineTry not to disclose your own time line

13. Competitive Negotiations - GuidelinesCompetitive Negotiations - Guidelines
 Remember - “Remember - “Silence is GoldenSilence is Golden” … Sais more than talking” … Sais more than talking
 Low trust -Low trust - Get it in writingGet it in writing or …“Do I have your word onor …“Do I have your word on
that?”that?”
 When using “higher authority” tactic be as vague as possibleWhen using “higher authority” tactic be as vague as possible
… Committee or board, try not to provide name… Committee or board, try not to provide name
 Never say no without wooingNever say no without wooing … “we would love to do… “we would love to do
business with you, however …”business with you, however …”
 When confronted with unacceptable offer …”When confronted with unacceptable offer …”I’m having aI’m having a
hard time seeing how this deal works for mehard time seeing how this deal works for me …… If youIf you
were in my position, how would you justify this deal?”were in my position, how would you justify this deal?”