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INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS
CHARLES COTTER
7 AUGUST 2014
TRAINING PROGRAMME OVERVIEW
• Defining effective interpersonal communication
• Mastering the interpersonal communication process
• Understanding and applying Non-verbal communication (NVC)
• Applying the primary communication skills
• Understanding the characteristics of interpersonal style
• Relationship building skills and strategy
• Building trust and credibility
• Building and applying Resilience
• Understanding and practising Assertiveness strategies
DEFINING EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION
• Communication is more than merely imparting meaning – it
must also be understood.
• Fundamental definition of effective communication is
when the intended message of the sender is correctly
interpreted, understood and acted upon by the
recipient/listener.
• Communication is the lifeblood of teams. No team or
organization can exist without communication i.e. the
transference of meaning among its team members.
• It is only through transmitting meaning from one person to
another that information and ideas can be conveyed.
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
CYCLE/PROCESS
PRIMARY COMMUNICATION SKILLS
PRIMARY COMMUNICATION SKILLS
• Informing skills – the ability to articulate and
express ideas and thoughts (as sender)
• Listening skills – the ability to listen
attentively and actively (as receiver)
• The ability to express, read, interpret and
respond appropriately to non-verbal
communication
ANALYSIS OF NVC SCENARIO
INTERPERSONAL STYLE
• Director
• Socializer
• Relater
• Thinker
COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT
STRATEGIES
• Plan what you want to say and how you will say it
• Use multiple channels and mediums
• Tailor the message to the audience
• Use clear, simple and understandable language
• Empathize with others
• Remember the value of face-to-face communication
when dealing with change
COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT
STRATEGIES
• Use two-way communication
• Practice active listening
• Match your words and actions (congruency)
• Ask for feedback/questions to confirm understanding
• Use the grapevine (as a source of employee issues)
• Use feedback
• Use assertive communication
BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION
BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION
• Intra-personal
• Interpersonal
• Structural
• Physical, technological and/or environmental
DEFINING NON-VERBAL
COMMUNICATION (NVC)
• Non-verbal communication is usually understood as the
process of communication through sending and receiving
wordless (mostly visual) cues between people.
• Face-to-face interaction, NVC can be classified into three
principal areas:
 Environmental conditions where communication takes
place
 Physical characteristics of the communicators
 Behaviours of communicators during interaction
COMPREHENSION COMPONENTS OF
NVC
COMPONENTS OF NVC
RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS
• Whether expressing or communicating a view or an opinion,
transformational managers should do this in an open, but
respectful manner.
• Managers need to feel comfortable enough to communicate a
variety of issues to team members, both personal and professional
and also be sufficiently transparent and forthright with important
information.
• Managers should demonstrate the required sensitivity and
compassion with due regard and respect for team member needs,
emotions and rights, in their daily interpersonal engagement with
team members.
• Managers can utilize Johari’s Window, in order to affect openness
and interpersonal trust.
JOHARI’S WINDOW
JOHARI’S WINDOW
• Designed to understand the communication process between people and
consists of varying degrees of information held in common between two
people as well as methods that can be used to increase the size of one’s
window.
• Communication will be enhanced if the Arena is increased in size by:
 Exposure of self to others
 Soliciting feedback from others
• Exposure requires an open, candid and trusting approach, while feedback
requires an active solicitation of feelings, opinions and values from
others.
• For these processes to be fully developed, reciprocity is required.
COVEY’S EMOTIONAL BANK
ACCOUNT
COVEY’S WIN-WIN MINDSET
TRUST ENHANCING STRATEGIES
• Open and transparent communication
• Mutual respect and tolerance for individual
differences
• Demonstrated care and sincere interest
• Recognition for the value of each individual
team member
• Co-operation and shared commitment
BUILDING CREDIBILITY
• The Credibility Formula as: Credibility = Integrity +
Expertise.
• Achieving a distinguishable level of follower faith and
loyalty is certainly not an overnight occurrence and can be
achieved only through openness; committed people
investment and a proven scorecard of leadership and
performance excellence.
• Leader behaviour, actions and decisions congruent with
reliability, fairness, consistency and transparency are
instrumental values which can enhance follower perception
of the leader’s reputation, standing and eventually, their
willingness to follow and support that leader.
CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS FOR A
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING STRATEGY
• Participative goal-setting
• Acting as a sounding board
• Identifying opportunities for team members
to discuss work-related and personal issues
• Providing constructive advice and feedback
CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS FOR A
RELATIONSHIP BUILDING STRATEGY
• Informing team members about developments
and changes that may affect them
• Directly raising concerns over quality of work
with the team member
• Keeping managers constantly informed
• Facilitating a upward flow of communication
DEFINING RESILIENCE
• Resilience in psychology refers to the idea of an individual's
tendency to cope with stress and adversity.
• This coping may result in the individual "bouncing back" to a
previous state of normal functioning, or using the experience of
exposure to adversity to produce a "steeling effect" and function
better than expected
• Resilience is most commonly understood as a process, and not a
trait of an individual.
• Resilience is a dynamic process whereby individuals exhibit positive
behavioural adaptation when they encounter significant adversity,
trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress.
RESILIENCE BUILDING STRATEGIES
• Positive (they see life as complex but filled with
opportunity)
• Focused (they have a clear vision of what they want to
achieve)
• Flexible (they demonstrate pliability when responding to
uncertainty)
• Organized (they develop structured approaches to
managing ambiguity)
• Proactive (they engage with change rather than defending
against it)
DEFINING ASSERTIVENESS
• Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s
feelings and assert one’s rights while respecting
the feelings and rights of others.
• Assertive communication is appropriately direct,
open and honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the
other person. People who have mastered the skill
of assertiveness are able to greatly reduce the
level of interpersonal conflict in their lives,
thereby reducing a major source of stress.
• The Assertiveness Continuum
THE ASSERTIVENESS CONTINUUM
MEASURING YOUR ASSERTIVENESS
• Do you have difficulty accepting constructive criticism?
• Do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to requests that you
should really say ‘no’ to, just to avoid disappointing people?
• Do you have trouble voicing a difference of opinion with
others?
• Do people tend to feel alienated by your communication
style when you do disagree with them?
• Do you feel attacked when someone has an opinion
different from your own?
LEARNING TO SAY NO – “WHO’S GOT
THE MONKEY?”
ASSERTIVENESS STRATEGIES
• Be Firm and Decisive - Say No if You Have To
• Ask For What You Want - Matter of Factly
• Achieve Your Goals
• Constructively Resolve Conflict
• Be Interested In the People Around You
• Believe in Yourself
CONCLUSION
• Key points
• Summary
• Questions
CONTACT DETAILS
• Charles Cotter
• (+27) 84 562 9446
• charlescot@polka.co.za
• LinkedIn
• Twitter: Charles_Cotter

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Interpersonal communication relationship building skills

  • 1. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS CHARLES COTTER 7 AUGUST 2014
  • 2. TRAINING PROGRAMME OVERVIEW • Defining effective interpersonal communication • Mastering the interpersonal communication process • Understanding and applying Non-verbal communication (NVC) • Applying the primary communication skills • Understanding the characteristics of interpersonal style • Relationship building skills and strategy • Building trust and credibility • Building and applying Resilience • Understanding and practising Assertiveness strategies
  • 3. DEFINING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION • Communication is more than merely imparting meaning – it must also be understood. • Fundamental definition of effective communication is when the intended message of the sender is correctly interpreted, understood and acted upon by the recipient/listener. • Communication is the lifeblood of teams. No team or organization can exist without communication i.e. the transference of meaning among its team members. • It is only through transmitting meaning from one person to another that information and ideas can be conveyed.
  • 6. PRIMARY COMMUNICATION SKILLS • Informing skills – the ability to articulate and express ideas and thoughts (as sender) • Listening skills – the ability to listen attentively and actively (as receiver) • The ability to express, read, interpret and respond appropriately to non-verbal communication
  • 7.
  • 8. ANALYSIS OF NVC SCENARIO
  • 9. INTERPERSONAL STYLE • Director • Socializer • Relater • Thinker
  • 10. COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT STRATEGIES • Plan what you want to say and how you will say it • Use multiple channels and mediums • Tailor the message to the audience • Use clear, simple and understandable language • Empathize with others • Remember the value of face-to-face communication when dealing with change
  • 11. COMMUNICATION IMPROVEMENT STRATEGIES • Use two-way communication • Practice active listening • Match your words and actions (congruency) • Ask for feedback/questions to confirm understanding • Use the grapevine (as a source of employee issues) • Use feedback • Use assertive communication
  • 13. BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION • Intra-personal • Interpersonal • Structural • Physical, technological and/or environmental
  • 14. DEFINING NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION (NVC) • Non-verbal communication is usually understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless (mostly visual) cues between people. • Face-to-face interaction, NVC can be classified into three principal areas:  Environmental conditions where communication takes place  Physical characteristics of the communicators  Behaviours of communicators during interaction
  • 17.
  • 18. RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING SKILLS • Whether expressing or communicating a view or an opinion, transformational managers should do this in an open, but respectful manner. • Managers need to feel comfortable enough to communicate a variety of issues to team members, both personal and professional and also be sufficiently transparent and forthright with important information. • Managers should demonstrate the required sensitivity and compassion with due regard and respect for team member needs, emotions and rights, in their daily interpersonal engagement with team members. • Managers can utilize Johari’s Window, in order to affect openness and interpersonal trust.
  • 20. JOHARI’S WINDOW • Designed to understand the communication process between people and consists of varying degrees of information held in common between two people as well as methods that can be used to increase the size of one’s window. • Communication will be enhanced if the Arena is increased in size by:  Exposure of self to others  Soliciting feedback from others • Exposure requires an open, candid and trusting approach, while feedback requires an active solicitation of feelings, opinions and values from others. • For these processes to be fully developed, reciprocity is required.
  • 23. TRUST ENHANCING STRATEGIES • Open and transparent communication • Mutual respect and tolerance for individual differences • Demonstrated care and sincere interest • Recognition for the value of each individual team member • Co-operation and shared commitment
  • 24.
  • 25. BUILDING CREDIBILITY • The Credibility Formula as: Credibility = Integrity + Expertise. • Achieving a distinguishable level of follower faith and loyalty is certainly not an overnight occurrence and can be achieved only through openness; committed people investment and a proven scorecard of leadership and performance excellence. • Leader behaviour, actions and decisions congruent with reliability, fairness, consistency and transparency are instrumental values which can enhance follower perception of the leader’s reputation, standing and eventually, their willingness to follow and support that leader.
  • 26. CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUILDING STRATEGY • Participative goal-setting • Acting as a sounding board • Identifying opportunities for team members to discuss work-related and personal issues • Providing constructive advice and feedback
  • 27. CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUILDING STRATEGY • Informing team members about developments and changes that may affect them • Directly raising concerns over quality of work with the team member • Keeping managers constantly informed • Facilitating a upward flow of communication
  • 28.
  • 29. DEFINING RESILIENCE • Resilience in psychology refers to the idea of an individual's tendency to cope with stress and adversity. • This coping may result in the individual "bouncing back" to a previous state of normal functioning, or using the experience of exposure to adversity to produce a "steeling effect" and function better than expected • Resilience is most commonly understood as a process, and not a trait of an individual. • Resilience is a dynamic process whereby individuals exhibit positive behavioural adaptation when they encounter significant adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or even significant sources of stress.
  • 30. RESILIENCE BUILDING STRATEGIES • Positive (they see life as complex but filled with opportunity) • Focused (they have a clear vision of what they want to achieve) • Flexible (they demonstrate pliability when responding to uncertainty) • Organized (they develop structured approaches to managing ambiguity) • Proactive (they engage with change rather than defending against it)
  • 31. DEFINING ASSERTIVENESS • Assertiveness is the ability to express one’s feelings and assert one’s rights while respecting the feelings and rights of others. • Assertive communication is appropriately direct, open and honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the other person. People who have mastered the skill of assertiveness are able to greatly reduce the level of interpersonal conflict in their lives, thereby reducing a major source of stress. • The Assertiveness Continuum
  • 33. MEASURING YOUR ASSERTIVENESS • Do you have difficulty accepting constructive criticism? • Do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ to requests that you should really say ‘no’ to, just to avoid disappointing people? • Do you have trouble voicing a difference of opinion with others? • Do people tend to feel alienated by your communication style when you do disagree with them? • Do you feel attacked when someone has an opinion different from your own?
  • 34. LEARNING TO SAY NO – “WHO’S GOT THE MONKEY?”
  • 35. ASSERTIVENESS STRATEGIES • Be Firm and Decisive - Say No if You Have To • Ask For What You Want - Matter of Factly • Achieve Your Goals • Constructively Resolve Conflict • Be Interested In the People Around You • Believe in Yourself
  • 36. CONCLUSION • Key points • Summary • Questions
  • 37. CONTACT DETAILS • Charles Cotter • (+27) 84 562 9446 • charlescot@polka.co.za • LinkedIn • Twitter: Charles_Cotter