sharing the wisdom about an intimate relationship with a possible life partner

1. Sharing my Wisdom
with my Children
The Intimate Relationship
Cindy Martin • Stepping Stones Publications • © January 13, 2012
Stepping Stones Publications • www.ssponline.ca
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2. The Intimate Relationship
Guiding my children along their path
A PERSONAL STORY ABOUT CHOOSING A PARTNER AND DATING
the life cycle involves change and is apart of our growth
Cindy Martin represents the Cayuga Nation, Turtle Clan and shares a child-
hood memory with her aunt. Cindy lives and works within her community
promoting traditional wellness on the Six Nations Reserve, Ohsweken, On-
tario, Canada. She also owns a business called Stepping Stones Publications
which offers cultural sharing presentations and training for groups, organiza-
tions, schools, agencies and professionals. To learn more about Cindy and
Stepping Stones Publications refer to www.ssponline.ca
“Before my moon time began, my aunt told me there was going to be a
time when I would seek a boyfriend or partner. Her advice to me was to
observe the family (of the prospective partner). Watch how the son
treats his mother and how his father treats his mother. ‘See if you find
respect and caring she advised. If it is there for the mother it will
probably be there for you. If it is not there for the mother it will proba-
bly not be there for you.’
Stepping Stones Publications • www.ssponline.ca
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3. I was asked, ‘What kind of a relationship do you want?”And I was
asked, ‘What kind of a life do you want for your children?” Then I was
told that there are four kinds of people; happy and caring, angry and
jealous, scared and confused, sad and careless. Becoming a partner will
not change the kind of person a boy is for long.
My aunt said, ‘Love is the Feeling and Caring is the Action. Love is the
feeling of passion, excitement and happiness of the moment. Caring for
someone, it can last for a lifetime. It is the sacred, unconditional feeling
that is always constant; a bond that permits people to speak with their
eyes, an energy that swirls in their hands and feet, a feeling that lets
them know when they are close by and no matter the distance they can
meet in their dreams.
She said, ‘As a Haudenosaunee female, you are sacred. Your responsi-
bility is to be a carrier of new life. You choose your partner, the father
of your children. With the Creator’s blessing you plan when to prepare
for the birth of each child. Your children can bond you to their father’s
family. You can choose to have healthy, unhealthy or a non-existent
family (paternal) relationship.”
Stepping Stones Publications • www.ssponline.ca
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