It's good to be kind and care for other people feeling but one more person you need to be kind with and care for is yourself. So, love yourself by learning to say 'NO'. Don't say 'Yes' and your mind want to say 'No'. Don't hurt yourself like that.
Becoming an Inclusive Leader - Bernadette Thompson
The Power of Saying No
1. 1
The Power of Saying ‘No’
Author: Sirirat Siriwan
Executive and Leadership Coach
Professional Certified Coach, International Coach Federation
Author of ‘High Performance Coaching’,
‘Dig Deep Coaching & Coaching Competencies
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I am a kind of person who cares about other people feelings and points of view very
much. I recalls that when I was younger, I liked to go along with the ideas of the
group of close friends and colleagues even I actually didn't completely agree with
the ideas. The reason I did that because I had a mindset that to go along was the
way I can show my gratitude for them as they were very kind and nice to me. Four
years ago, my mindset was changed.
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I started to feel uncomfortable and frustrating because I wanted to do and create
something by my own following my ideas and my core values (which is freedom).
So, you might see my core value is quite opposite to the way I lived my life. At that
time, I was not so sure what to do. I was afraid to hurt my friend feeling, she was
good to me. Anyway, 4 years ago, the issue was solved and I became free.
What did happen 4 years ago? I was mentored and coached by one of Master
Coach, Dr.Cherie Carter Scott and I discovered that it's OK for me to be alone and
choose to do what I want. I learned that I have enough potential to succeed by my
own without following my group of friends. Apart from this helpful mentoring
session and self-discovery, I also wrote daily journal which also helped me to
crystallize my thoughts, I had new learning and insights everyday about who I was
and what I wanted. My powerful insight was that I always treated everyone nice
and fairly, and it's time for me to treat myself very nicely and fairly by saying 'No'
to other people without feeling of guilt.
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At present, I live my life much more happily and peacefully. I can say 'YES' or 'NO'
and feel comfortable about saying it. I am accountable for the consequences of
what I choose to say. I have become a better coach because of my learning and
practicing of saying 'NO'. Of course, when there is no frustration about the choice I
choose, I coach better and better, and better every day. I know that when I say 'NO'
to someone, I lose some opportunities but I have myself back. I have freedom. I
have strengths to be utilized. I have a lot to live my life in more proactive and
productive ways.
Lastly, I have my quote to share "A person who knows how to love self will love
others better."