There are several essential skills required to be an effective communicator. These skills give you the edge when dealing with a powerful person in a conflict situation. This session considers both verbal and non-verbal communication behaviours and skills and how they can be applied when interacting with others.

1. Dr Tim Baker
tim@winnersatwork.com.au
www.winnersatwork.com.au
Essential
Communication Skills
for Conflict Resolution

2. Unit 1—The Five Approaches to
Dealing with Conflict
Unit 2—Understanding People
& their Personalities
Unit 3—Managing Emotion in
Conflict Situations
Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not
Aggressive or Passive
Unit 5—Essential
Communication Skills for
Conflict Resolution
Unit 6—Giving & Receiving
Constructive Criticism

3. Speaking Listening
Non-
verbals

4. SBI Model
•Situation
•Behaviour
•Impact
In this morning’s meeting (Situation), when
you raised that issue about following up on
the project we’ve just completed (Behaviour),
you refocused our attention on something
that was important to the team’s
performance (Impact).
Yesterday in the meeting (Situation), when
you raised your voice at me in the meeting
when I disagreed with you (behaviour), I
felt disrespected and embarrassed (Impact).

5. Restating the other
person’s comment in
your own words.

6. Why Paraphrase …
• To check that you have understood
• To let your manager know that you
understand
• To take control of the conversation

7. Paraphrasing In other words …
Check you
understand
1
Show that you do
understand
2
Take control off the
conversation
3

8. Reflection or
Paraphrasing
• Paraphrasing: Repeating what you have just heard in your
own words – Without parroting. “So the insurance
companies aren’t going to accept your claim because the
accident happened on your way home from work”
• Reflecting feelings: Focus on feeling words - “If I were
having that experience, what would I be feeling?”
• Summative reflections: Restatement of the main themes
and feelings “It sounds like the hail damage to your car
during exam week has made you feel stressed and upset”

9. Listening
• Listening is the process of taking in what we hear and
mentally organising it to make sense of the information.
• Listening techniques also assist us to decode non-verbal
communication.
• Non-verbal communication is not always easy to
decode!

10. Listening
• People spend between 70 and 80% of their day
engaged in some form of communication, and about
55% of their time is devoted to listening.
• The average number of words you're able to listen
to per minute is around 450. But we speak at 125-
175 wpm
• You might be surprised to learn that your words only
convey about 7% of what you're trying to say. The
other 93% is communicated through facial
expressions and the tone of your voice.
• Five types of listening:
1. Pseudo listening
2. Appreciative listening
3. Empathetic listening
4. Comprehensive listening
5. Critical listening

11. The
Process of
Listening
HURIER LISTENING MODEL
• Hearing - The physiology of hearing and attention
• Understanding - Personal filters
• Remembering - Short term and long-term memory
• Interpreting – Decoding nonverbal behavior
• Evaluating - Understanding principles of persuasion and
critical thinking to evaluate the validity of a message.
• Responding - Choosing an appropriate response from
among the alternatives (assertive and supportive
responses, feedback and active listening skills)

12. Skill Set
A good listener can:
• Be patient
• Ask the right questions
• Recognise, separate and evaluate fact from
inference
• Think critically
• Recognise patterns
• Group like material
• Reflect
• Paraphrase
• Demonstrate positive regard and empathy

13. Attending
Skills
Attending skills are culturally sensitive - To understand
what is appropriate ask questions of one another.
Regardless of culture, attending skills involve:
A posture of Involvement -
In western culture this involves leaning
forward, arms and legs unfolded, no
barriers, face the person, keep an
appropriate distance
Appropriate body motion
Appropriate eye contact
Non-distracting environment

14. Your homework
Practise some of these skills and reflect
on how successful they have been.

15. Unit 1—The Five Approaches to
Dealing with Conflict
Unit 2—Understanding People
& their Personalities
Unit 3—Managing Emotion in
Conflict Situations
Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not
Aggressive or Passive
Unit 5—Essential
Communication Skills for
Conflict Resolution
Unit 6—Giving & Receiving
Constructive Criticism