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going to take off that wet diaper.” “Daddy is starving. What should
I eat?” Remember though, if your baby turns away when you’re
talking, it may be her way of saying, “Quiet please.”
Be attentive to what kind of sounds your baby likes best. Some
infants love music with strong beats, while others prefer softer
melodies. And don’t be shy about singing. No matter how in or out
of tune, she’ll like your voice best of all.
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5. Your baby has greater control
over her body. She may be able
to roll both ways, become bet-
I’m in ter at reaching and grasping,
Control and will begin to sit with assis-
tance. She will also be able to
use both hands to explore.
what to expect
between 4 and 6 months:
Your baby learns how things
work and that he can make
things happen. He uses his
I Can Do It! new motor skills to pick up
and explore objects in new
ways. He will watch you to
learn what to do.
Your baby loves to anticipate
what will happen next.
She will look to you with
excitement, letting you know
What’s Next? she wants to do it again.
It gives her a sense of control
when she knows what to
expect.
Your baby will want to explore
his food and help feed himself.
Touching and tasting different
All By Myself foods is an important part
of his learning. Feeding him-
self builds his self-confidence.
6. Place your baby in different positions—on her back, stomach and
sitting with support. Each gives a different perspective on the
world and a chance to develop different skills such as rolling,
creeping and crawling, and using both hands while sitting.
what you can do:
Play reaching and grasping games. Hold enticing toys just within
her reach and encourage her to grab them.
Give him a variety of toys with different textures, shapes, weights
and functions. Join in his exploration of them.
Show him different ways to use things: switching objects from one
hand to another, shaking, banging, pushing and dropping.
Speak to her while getting ready to feed her, whether it’s by
breast or bottle. This lets her know comfort is near and helps her
learn to wait.
Play peek-a-boo; pause briefly after you’ve “disappeared” to give
her time to think about what will happen next.
Establish routines. As much as possible, keep everyday routines
in the same sequence; for example: dinner, bath, stories, lullabies,
sleep.
Let him play with your fingers and explore the bottle or breast
during feedings. This may get messy; but it is an essential part
of his learning as he discovers what different foods and liquids
feel and taste like.
As he grows, let him handle finger foods and encourage him to
feed himself by giving him his own spoon.
7. Your baby will make lots of
different sounds to you, to
other people, to her toys and
I’ve Got to whatever else inspires her.
Something All of this vocalizing is the
to Say foundation for speech. The
more you respond, the more
confident and eager she will
what to expect
be to keep “talking.”
between 4 and 6 months:
At 4 months, your baby is
eager to explore every aspect
of the world around him. He
It’s All in learns through his senses.
the Mouth Mouthing objects is just
another way to “know” an
object. It often has less to do
with hunger or teething.
Four-month-olds still aren’t
using their thumb to grasp
things; and, as they shift from
Hand it Over two-handed to one-handed
play, they will hold things by
pressing their fingers against
their palms.
By 4 months you have a good
idea of how your baby is
different or similar to other
babies his age. During the
I am a Person next few months he will
become very good at letting
you know his likes and dis-
likes, as well as his interests.
8. Listen when she talks and look right into her eyes. When she
pauses, respond, and then wait. This turn-taking teaches her how
to have a conversation.
Start lots of conversations and see if she picks up your cues. But
what you can do:
don’t forget about reading her signals. When she doesn’t want to
talk, don’t push it. She may need a break.
Make certain that any object your baby gets his hands on is clean
and safe for mouthing. That means it must be big enough not to
fit entirely into his mouth, and smooth enough not to scratch or
irritate.
Offer toys with lots of variation in shape and texture. Bumpy,
smooth, round and square are all distinctions that can be made
by mouth.
Offer your baby toys that are easily grasped, with lots of handles.
And make sure they’re light enough in weight for your baby to
hang on to and big enough not to fit into her mouth.
Keep in mind that while your baby can hold onto a toy and even
reach for it, she can’t yet purposefully open up her hand and let
it go. When a 4-month-old drops a toy, it isn’t because she meant
to drop it!
When your baby turns away, arches his back, or starts to cry dur-
ing play or at other times, don’t take it personally; it may be his
way of saying that he needs a break from this intense interac-
tion. It might be the perfect time for a refreshing pause, like hold-
ing him close and singing a soothing melody.
Think about your baby’s personality. Does he like noisy environ-
ments or prefer quiet? Is he a jump-right-in kid, or a let-me-wait-
and-see kid? There is no single right way to be. You just need to
understand and respect who he is.
9. Your baby’s brain power grows
I’ve Got as he experiments with toys in
Brain Power more complex ways.
what to expect
between 6 and 9 months:
Your baby is increasingly
mobile—creeping, crawling
I Can Move and even pulling herself up to
and Shake stand.
Your baby’s ability to use his
I’m Good
hands and fingers is
With My increasing every day.
Hands
Your baby begins to under-
stand that people and things
I See You! exist even when she can’t see
them.
10. Provide a variety of safe toys for the bath—containers, rubber
toys, plastic bath books, plastic ladles. Join his exploration and
show him different ways to use the objects.
Show him how to take a cup of water and pour it over the ducky
what you can do:
to let him watch what happens. Help him fill up the whale and
squirt the water out.
Create an environment that is safe for exploration. Make sure
only safe objects are within her grasp and that anything she
might use to pull herself to standing is sturdy and fastened down
to support her weight.
Remind yourself that babies develop their motor skills at very dif-
ferent rates. Sometimes early crawlers are late walkers
(why bother walking when she can get to where she needs
to go so easily on all fours?). Development is an unfolding
process . . . not a race.
During the next few months he will begin to hold things between
his thumb and forefinger. This makes it much easier for him to
do things with his hands, like feeding himself.
Play back-and-forth games. He’ll love to hand you things that you
hand back to him. This can go on for hours, and it’s a great way
to learn give-and-take!
Now that your baby can pick up lots of things, make sure he
doesn’t get his hands on objects he can choke on – anything that
he can fit entirely into his mouth.
Play peek-a-boo. Even though you’re hiding your head for just a
moment (and in a very obvious way), this kind of game is
practice for saying good-bye in other settings.
Play disappearing and reappearing games, such as find the miss-
ing toy (hidden under cloth, table, etc.) or drop an object and
watch her try to locate it.
11. Your baby begins to be
uncertain or fearful around
strangers or even family
Who, May I
members he doesn’t see very
Ask, Are often. Becoming quiet or even
You? distressed when meeting
someone new is quite typical
what to expect
of 6- to 9-month-olds.
between 6 and 9 months:
Your baby begins using sounds
Now Hear and gestures to communicate
This! her wants and needs.
Your baby becomes a great
imitator. Imitating is not only
I’m a Copycat a great learning tool . . . it’s
lots of fun.
Inquiring Your baby is intensely curious
Minds Want and wants to spend almost
to Know every waking hour exploring.
12. Introduce your baby to new people from the safety of your arms.
Ask the new person to approach him slowly.
Give the new person one of your baby’s favorite toys or books to
help engage him.
what you can do:
Prepare your extended family and friends for your baby’s new
wariness and make sure they understand that it isn’t anything
personal.
Become your baby’s interpreter. If she points to her bottle, ask,
“Do you want some juice?”
Encourage communication and motor skills by describing what
she is doing. When she throws a toy down, you can say, “Okay,
you don’t want the car. But you’re looking at the bear. Do you
want to hold him?” Then put the bear within her range and
encourage her to get it.
Play copycat games. Make a sound and give him time to
copy you.
Push a button on the jack-in-the-box to make the clown appear,
then wait for him to do it. This teaches him cause-and-effect and
that he can make things happen.
Follow her lead on what interests her and encourage
exploration.
Think about the way your baby explores things. Does she explore
a book, for example, from beginning to end, page by page? Does
she turn it upside down, flip the pages quickly or look at one page
again and again. There are no “rights” or “wrongs.” Some babies
may find books so delicious that they’ll want to chew on them for
a while. That’s okay, too, as long as they’re safe.
13. At around 9 months, babies
begin to develop an awareness
Look I that things continue to exist,
Found It! even when they don’t see
them. This is called “object
permanence.”
what to expect
between 9 and 12 months:
Separations may become
more difficult. As your baby’s
Good-Byes new physical independence
Are Hard increases, so does her emo-
tional dependence on you.
Your child becomes more inde-
pendent as he uses his body to
Watch Me move away from you—creep-
Move ing, crawling, or even taking
baby steps.
Your child understands more
than she can say and can even
I Get It! follow simple commands such
as “Go get your ball.”
14. Play hide-and-seek games that will help him master object per-
manence. After you show him the ball, hide it behind the couch
and encourage him to hunt for it.
Talk to him when you move out of his sight so he knows you are
near. This will reduce his anxiety and may help him play alone
for a few minutes.
what you can do:
Be patient! Babies often become very persistent as they develop
“object permanence.” They remember the toy they had yesterday
and they want exactly the same thing now!
When saying good-bye, use positive language—with your words
and body. Children take their cues from you. So, with a smile, tell
her that you will really miss each other, but that she is going to
have so much fun with Miss Marie. And when you come back, like
you always do, you’ll read your favorite book together!
Give her a picture of you. Make an audiotape of yourself singing
songs or reading a cherished book.
Offer him a “safe base.” He needs to know you’ll still be there
when he decides he’s gone far enough. This sense of security
helps him feel safe to venture out again.
Avoid walkers. They can be dangerous and can interfere with
muscle and joint development.
Recognize his need to practice new skills. If he refuses to lie
down for diaper changes, you can say “You don’t want to lie down
now that you can stand all by yourself! Okay, we’ll do this
together. You hold the diaper while I fasten it.”
Put her actions into words and build on them. “You’re holding
bear. Does he want a drink?” and hold out a cup.
Use visual cues to help build comprehension. Ask, “Where are
your shoes?” as you point to them.
15. Your child uses his gestures
and vocalizations to communi-
I’ve Got cate. He may point to the juice
Something and say “juju” to show you
to Say what he wants. He may push
the cracker off the highchair
and say “nuhnuh.”
what to expect
between 9 and 12 months:
Your child may become more
I Want What selective about foods (and
I Want! everything else!) and want to
eat on her own.
Your child discovers “No!” and
Just Say No! uses it with great abandon.
Your baby loves to explore, but
Keep Me Safe she still needs grown-ups to
keep her safe.
16. Help him show you what he wants. Present two toys and ask,
“Which do you want?” Encourage him to respond by pointing or
reaching. If he looks at or talks to one toy more than the other,
say, “You want this one!”
what you can do:
Play back-and-forth games. Roll a ball to your baby and encour-
age him to roll it back. These games promote his social development
and lead to the back and forth of conversations.
Offer her choices because yesterday’s favorite food may be
rejected tomorrow. Be patient and experiment with foods to help
her find what she likes.
Allow and encourage her to feed herself. She can practice using
a spoon and drinking from a sipper cup. She will be proud to be
in charge of her feeding when you give her the chance. Of course,
she’ll need some help.
Learn to distinguish what your baby means by “No!” It can be his
way of declaring his independence. When he kicks and shouts and
shakes his head, “No,” as you lift him into the car, he may be say-
ing, “I’m the boss of me!” He may be sharing his likes and dis-
likes—”No peas . . . more carrots.” Or, he may be telling you,
“I’m too tired to cope,” as he protests, “No” when you carry him
to his crib.
Create a safe home. It helps to get down on all fours to see your
home from your baby’s viewpoint to make sure no dangers are
within reach. Install baby gates, outlet covers and other safety
items where necessary.
Create a stimulating home without having to spend a lot of money
on expensive toys. Make sure each room contains things that
interest her, like big, colorful books in the family room or a drawer
full of plastic containers in the kitchen.