A draft by draft break down of the production of our film.

1. Coursework Development.

2. Draft 1

3. A brief description of your piece.
• A young girl gets killed by her best friend
in a Satanic Ritual. We intended for this to
be our whole 2 minute opening however
after we edited it together we realised it
was only 40 seconds long. Our project
was 1 minute, 20 seconds too short.

4. What did you think you needed to
change and why?
• Because our 1st draft was too short (as
mentioned in the last slide) we needed to
either re-film our project so it fit the time
required or add an extra scene.

5. Audience Feedback.
• The feedback we received on our 1st draft is
what lead to development of our later drafts.
All of the feedback mentioned how they
disliked the fact that Sarah didn’t make any
dramatic sounds as she died and that there
wasn’t any sound (non diegetic) playing
behind to build the tension. They claimed that
if we added these elements then the plot
would be easier to understand.

6. Draft 2.

7. A brief description of your piece.
• We kept the death scene from our 1st draft but
added a conversation between Jess and a
fellow conspirator (Me) in which Jess gets
emotional about the death of her best friend.
We also added music that Sarah composed to
play behind the death sequence.

8. What changes did we make and
why?
• As explained in the slide above we added to
the end of our Death sequence a conversation
between me and Jess which we intended to
explain what Sarah did that lead to her being
killed (Jess told her a secret that she promised
the character of Esther she wouldn’t). This
was because our Death sequence wasn’t long
enough to fit the two minute mininmum.

9. What did you think you needed to
change and why?
• After looking over our 2nd draft we decided
that the conversation between me and Jess
wasn’t as clear as we wanted it to be. It didn’t
explain why Sarah was killed or who the
character of Esther actually is. We wanted the
conversation to be more than just filler for the
1 minute and 20 seconds we had missing to fit
the time requirement.

10. Audience Feedback.
• The overall feedback we received
was that people didn’t like the
conversation as it wasn’t clear
what was going on and they
weren’t sure how it fit into the
Psychological Thriller genre.

11. Draft 3.

12. A brief description of our piece.
• We added to draft 2 and
establishing shot of the outside of
Jess’s house so the credits could
flash up during that shot.

13. What changes did we make and why?
• We added the establishing
shot of Jess’s house at the
beginning of our Project and
put the credits over the top.

14. What did we think needed to
change and why?
• The discussion (as mentioned in
our Audience Feedback for our
2nd draft) and the timing of the
credits as we wanted to time them
with the music.

15. Audience Feedback.
• They still wanted us to change
the conversation and agreed with
us on the idea of making the
credits come up in time with the
music.

16. Draft 4.

17. A brief description of our piece.
• We decided after a long discussion over
the pro’s and con’s of our 3rd draft that
we would replace the conversation with a
dream sequence showing abstract
imagery of how Jess is feeling about the
situation she is in. This also helped us
show the genre as “Psychological
Thriller” as it is based around her mind.

18. What changes did we make and why?
• We got rid of the unclear conversation
between Jess’s character and my character
and replaced it with the dream sequence.
• We found music on a Creative Common’s
website to play behind the dream sequence.
• We made the credits come on in time with the
music.

19. What did we think needed to
change and why?
• The conversation as it didn’t
feel/look right and while editing it
together I kept screaming about
how I look like a troll in our first
draft and how conversation scene
should perish.

20. Audience Feedback.
• Our feedback for our final draft was really
positive. They said they liked the scene
with the Well (in the dream sequence) as it
explained that my character wasn’t real
and they preferred the dream sequence to
the conversation.

21. THE END.
Esther Draft 1 (No Music) –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z04M1oMP9Lc
Esther Draft 1 -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sIFRJpqQHI
Esther Draft 1.5 -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXeH1F8NYEY
Esther Draft 2 (Incomplete) –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB6MfTMtWFM
Esther Final Draft -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIe0y4XeT6g