Communication and Confidence for Women
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Presentation for Real Futures Foundation school girls years 9 and 10 Presented by Heidi Alexandra Pollard and Tina Moore
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Communication and Confidence for Women
- 1. Communication & Confidence Real Futures Program With Heidi Alexandra Pollard & Tina Moore UQ POWER
- 3. Our world is speeding up
- 4. • Hyper-connectivity leading to increased screen time • Accelerating pace of change leading to overwhelm • Tailored convenience means we want it all and we want it now Shift happens.
- 5. Despite all this change one constant has remained the same – the ability to influence, engage, inspire, relate and build rapport. The ability to communicate The One Constant
- 6. At the end of the day we have two choices. Every action, thought and feeling is motivated by an intention and with every intention comes a reaction. What goes out ALWAYS comes back. FEAR LOVE Two Choices
- 7. Spotlight on USpotlight on U What’s your biggestWhat’s your biggest communication challenge?communication challenge? When do you feel lessWhen do you feel less confident?confident?
- 8. Spotlight on USpotlight on U What skills would you likeWhat skills would you like to learn?to learn? How do you desire to beHow do you desire to be and feel?and feel?
- 9. EXPLORING YOUR SIGNATURE COMMUNICATION STRENGTHS Understanding your individual communication style strengths and the effect it may have on others.
- 10. • No right or wrong scores, no style is better than another. • One high score (4 pts or more) strong preference • Two high scores (within 2 pts) may lead with preferred style and can draw from others • Three close scores will lead with a preferred style, may have developed from experience • Equal scores in all four styles highly adaptable, may appear inconsistent to others PSCI Scoring
- 11. THE DIRECTING STYLE Liabilities • Impatient with those working too slowly • Lone ranger • Can be judgmental • Tendency to dominate others • Difficulty trusting others with work • Need to be in control causes frustrations Strengths • Fast paced, quick thinkers • Focus on action and results • Decisive • Takes responsibility • Natural leaders • Visionary, big picture Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.
- 12. THE PRESENTING STYLE Liabilities • May not always be taken seriously • Poor operational follow through • Easily bored • May overpromise and underdeliver • Would rather talk than listen • Does not manage time well Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved. Strengths • Knows how to have fun • Always up, energetic • Communicates easily • Motivates others • Lots and lots of ideas • Enjoys/prefers new projects
- 13. THE MEDIATING STYLE Liabilities • Likes privacy, may be difficult to get to know • Focuses on people issues over business progress • Reluctant to correct difficult people problems • Doesn’t like risk taking • Doesn’t care for surprises • May avoid centre stage Strengths • Subtle, gentle, indirect and inclusive • Good listener • Expert • Loved by everyone • Champion of others • Encourages others through appreciation Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.
- 14. Strengths • Likes people, not large groups • Confident if facts are known • Likes to give advice • Very thorough • Fair and unbiased • Enjoys structure Liabilities • Difficult to stop pursuing perfectness • Fear of mistakes creates time consuming tasks • Tends to be critical • Worries a lot • Slow to embrace new THE STRATEGIZING STYLE Developed by CoachWorks International Dallas, Texas USA for Corporate Coach U International. Copyright 1995. Version 2005. All rights reserved.
- 15. Appreciating your style and others 1. The top three positive characteristics of our style are: 2. The three strengths we admire most in people with the opposite style are: 3. The strength of ours that drives others crazy is: 4. We feel most like ourselves comfortable and confident when: 5. We feel least like our style, out of our comfort zone when: 6. Our preference for handling conflict is: 7. Draw a poster to promote your style.
- 17. Are You “Batteries Not Included” UQPower.com.au#StartWithU
- 18. AKA a “Drainer” of energy? UQPower.com.au#StartWithU
- 19. Are you “Batteries Included”? UQPower.com.au#StartWithU
- 20. AKA a “Giver” of Energy? UQPower.com.au#StartWithU
- 22. Feel this moment! UQPower.com.au#StartWithU Getting in state – breathing, posture, voice.
- 23. Bio Break
- 24. Your personal presence The best thing you can do to overcome any challenges is to #startwithU and to access and express your authentic powerful self. This will allow you to be more confident even when you don’t know what the outcome will be.
- 25. Of course you can’t confuse arrogance with confidence. “Arrogance and confidence get conflated but they are not the same things. Arrogance is a wall we put up when we feel threatened.” “Arrogance is a smoke screen for insecurity. Arrogance is not appealing. It does not serve you.” Confidence not arrogance
- 26. Being confident means being comfortable in yourself and that you don’t put up a smokescreen and you can be open to criticism. It’s when your words and body language match. “Confidence is not a weapon, it’s a tool. When you are confident you can be present without arrogance.” Confidence not arrogance
- 27. Developing Presence We all know someone with presence when we see it. It’s that feeling you get when someone walks in poised and polished, with the presence of a leader. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi about how they carry themselves, which of course, seems effortless. We all want it, but how do we get it? Basically executive presence is comprised of three things: 1.Communication: how you talk 2.Gravitas: how you act 3.Perceived identity: how you look
- 28. Communication In recent weeks, there’s been a burst of media attention about women’s words, in particular the “sorrys,” “justs” and other undermining phrases that often show up in what women write and say. It’s a case of foot in mouth daily. Instead you can communicate clearly and be more lieable by making personal connections, expressing appreciation for others – and showing a strong interest in their points of view.
- 29. Gravitas – Confidence Under Pressure Many of our clients are great leaders, but when presenting in meetings with more senior or powerful people they freeze with anxiety. Their executive presence crashes and burns. We work with them to then proactively implement a plan before they experience visible signs of stress. A way to cope with the emotions as they came up in a way that doesn’t put them at a professional disadvantage.
- 30. Perceived Identity Other clients we’ve worked with have impressive credentials, and experience but when they present at conferences, they’re not seen as an expert. Why? Because they don’t look like one. Often it is that they need to review their look. It may be they need to look more polished, upbeat or sophisticated. As research from Harvard Medical School proves, “People assess your competence and trustworthiness in a quarter of It’s not fair, but if you want to move forward in your career, you want to look the part so your ideas are the focal point, not your wardrobe. Sometimes you need to dress for the job you want.
- 31. Complimenting and Appreciating UQPower.com.au#StartWithU 3 compliments eg: physical, personality, attributes, achievements, abilities
- 32. Your Unique Power Then nobody can touch you. UQPower.com.au#StartWithU You do not need external power. You will feel your unique power when your personality and your soul are in alignment. The best version of yourself is to line up the little you or your personality with the big U of your unique power.
- 33. Your Unique Power #StartWithU Your power is using the energy of your personality to serve your unique power. When you are depressed, anxious, sad, frightened or uncomfortable that’s when you most need to call on your unique power. That’s when you need to choose LOVE, the Universal human power.
- 34. Your Unique Power UQPower.com.au#StartWithU What are your unique gifts? What are you good at? Undertake the best of me exercise.
- 36. Our Differences Some of the factors for our differences are.. Experiences Your Perception of Life Beliefs Creativity Genetics Body Relationships Hobbies Intelligence Emotional Intelligence Senses Personality Communication Habits Humour Goals Intuition Willingness to be yourself Consciousness Moral Judgments Curiosity
- 38. LUNCH!
- 39. What kind of leader do you want to be? UQPower.com.au#StartWithU
- 40. The most powerful way to engage with and relate to others is to listen first and ask second. Too many people spend too much time on what they want to TELL others rather than taking the time to stop, LISTEN and ASK. Leaders Listen First
- 42. Stand in 2 circles one inside the other •My life story… •Ask 1 question then listen A GAME OF FOCUS
- 43. Stand in 2 circles one inside the other •My life story… •A passion I have outside of school is… •Ask 1 question then listen A GAME OF FOCUS
- 44. Stand in 2 circles one inside the other •My life story… •A passion I have outside of study/work is… •My favourite book / movie at the moment is… •Ask 1 question then listen A GAME OF FOCUS
- 45. - 7% of meaning is in the words that are spoken -38% of meaning is paralinguistic – the way we say it -55% of meaning is in body language & expression WHY YOU MUST BECOME FLUENT IN A SECOND LANGUAGE
- 46. WITHOUT BODY POWER WITH BODY POWER Lack of self esteem & confidence Feel confident even in challenging situations Neglect own needs More assertive with needs No ‘me time’ Say no when you need to Out of touch with tangible feelings Radiate more energy When you use your Unique Body Power you are energetic and magnetic. Body over mind power
- 47. You have to #startwithU by believing in U and your message. If you don’t believe, no one else will because your body will tell them so - every one can spot a phoney! THE BODY NEVER LIES
- 48. The most powerful communication tool at your disposal is not your mouth, it’s your entire body. What you wear. How you stand. How you walk. How you talk. It all matters! Become fluent in body language as your second language and watch your results soar. Use Your Whole Body
- 49. Understanding your body language and other physical queues is very important when you are communicating with others. Your non-verbal communication skills are just as important as your verbal skills. The most important thing to ensure is congruence – that your messages match your body, your dress, your energy. Powerful Body Language
- 50. Strike a Pose!
- 51. Introduce yourself to someone: Like it’s a waste of your time Test It In Your Body
- 52. Introduce yourself to someone: Like you really really want to impress them but are a phoney. Change Your Body
- 53. Introduce yourself to someone: Like they are your long lost best friend Lead With Love
- 54. www.UQPower.com.au “It’s important we get this right. Things must change around here.”
- 55. Powerful Body Language UQPower.com.au#StartWithU The body mind connection – shoot ‘em up, OK Position 1 Position 2
- 56. The Power of A Collective UQPower.com.au#StartWithU Diversity and inclusion – accepting and appreciating others. FEAR forms around difference, it divides and separates us. LOVE brings us together as brothers and sisters, we are all one human race.
- 57. The Power of a Circle of Women UQPower.com.au#StartWithU
Notas del editor
- From your pre- work sheet List your top three personal values (ie: things that must be in your life, relationships and work that are of importance to you. Eg: honesty, creativity):
- 9.35am It’s important to note before we get started that there are no right or wrong answers with this tool. The PCSI has been used with several thousand people who have validated its efficacy. Remember that it identifies the style you lead with as preferred but there is no correct style. I ask that you do not copy and distribute the PCSI tool/form as it is copyright and should not be duplicated without permission. Once we’ve completed the tool and you’ve added up your responses you will see if you have a strong preference for one or two styles. Knowing your style can help you to: Recognise your tendancies Build on your strengths Identify and appreciate the style of others, and Improve the way you communicate with each other. Let’s begin. Please turn to the page (3) with the four boxes identified as Parts 1-4 and follow the instructions. Once you have completed this process and added up all the checks or circles you have for each Part please wait before turning the page. This should only take you 5-10 minutes. How did you go? The highest total is usually the one that best describes you. Although your scores may be closer in more than one Part, most people find that they match just one or two types. Now take a look at the next pages and review the description of your preferred style. We all use all of these styles to some degree depending on the situation, but generally we have a clear preference for one or two. Choose the style that you have the highest score for, or if a couple are close, the one that feels most like you. Remember there is no correct style and we can all draw on all the styles. The PCSI recognises preferences, behaviours and emotions and can also be used to help to identify development gaps. It’s important to note before we get started that there are no right or wrong answers with this tool. The PCSI has been used with several thousand people who have validated its efficacy. Remember that it identifies the style you lead with as preferred but there is no correct style. I ask that you do not copy and distribute the PCSI tool/form as it is copyright and should not be duplicated without permission. Once we’ve completed the tool and you’ve added up your responses you will see if you have a strong preference for one or two styles. Knowing your style can help you to: Recognise your tendancies Build on your strengths Identify and appreciate the style of others, and Improve the way you communicate with each other. Let’s begin. Please turn to the page with the four boxes identified as Parts 1-4 and follow the instructions. Once you have completed this process and added up all the checks or circles you have for each Part please wait before turning the page. Now I ask you to take the PCSI and complete the adjective list as per the instructions. Check all answers that apply. Remember there are no right or wrong answers and it does not matter how few or many ticks you have Don’t think too long about each word, use your first thought this will yield the best result Use the scoring guidelines at the bottom of the page to determine your style. This should only take you 5-10 minutes. Write up everyone’s scores on the flipchart How did you go? The highest total is usually the one that best describes you. Although your scores may be closer in more than one Part, most people find that they match just one or two types. Now take a look at the next pages and review the description of your preferred style. We all use all of these styles to some degree depending on the situation, but generally we have a clear preference for one or two. Choose the style that you have the highest score for, or if a couple are close, the one that feels most like you. Remember there is no correct style and we can all draw on all the styles. Write up everyone’s scores on the flip chart
- Form into groups sort out how many (show of hands) break them into groups. In order for us to understand other people’s communication styles, we first need to understand our own. Hand out 3 handouts on spotting styles The most challenging relationships in a team are those that are diagonally opposite. Get groups to present back at about Each group 2 mins
- 12.45pm
- 1.35pm Building Rapport and Engaging People The rapport phase is the opening of any successful facilitation or presentation. Quality interactions are only achieved when are truly engaging and building rapport with your audience. Building rapport and creating a climate of trust and understanding allows you to prepare the audience for the delivery of your content. Rapport is vital in all forms of communication and essential for conducting effective presentations and facilitating successful workshops, sessions, group work. In the role of facilitator, your task is to persuade and influence so the audience prefers your solution or idea over what they may have been doing in the past. John Grinder and Richard Bandler researched how expert communicators were able to build rapport. They found that people like people who are like themselves. Rapport is established by pacing. Pacing is the process of matching and mirroring the verbal, para-verbal and body language of the other person to create likeness and similarities which creates rapport. Being in rapport means being alike both verbally and non verbally. Professor Albert Mehrabian has pioneered the understanding of communications since the 1960s – today he spends his time researching, writing, and consulting as Professor of Psychology at UCLA. His work featured strongly in establishing early understanding of body language and non-verbal communications. His research provided the basis for the widely quoted and often much over-simplified statistic for the effectiveness of spoken communications. Here is a more precise (and necessarily detailed) representation of Mehrabian's findings than is typically cited or applied: 7% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken. 38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said). 55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression (and body language). The main thing to remember is that the formula applies to communications of feelings and attitudes not just any communication. One of the best ways to build rapport if you don’t know the attendees is to use universals. Universals are statements that are ‘true’ for all members in the audience, general statements that are universally accepted. Here you are setting the scene or the big picture. For example: We live in a world that….. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where…..? Have you noticed how ……..is happening more often today?