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Effective communication workshop ppt

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Effective communication workshop ppt

  1. 1. Effective Communication Workshop Ian Carpenter, Ashley Douroux and Amanda Rivera, Psy.D. Trainees, ULV Counseling Center January 15th , 2009
  2. 2. Workshop Overview • Four Types of Communication • Common Mistakes in Communicating • Communication Skills
  3. 3. Four Types of Communication • Methods of relaying information: – Passive – Aggressive – Passive-Aggressive – Assertive
  4. 4. Passive Communication • Passive communication often includes: – A lack of expressing opinions or feelings – A lack of protecting rights of self – A lack of identifying and meeting own needs • Examples of passive communication: – “I get stepped on by everyone” – “I’m unable to stand up for myself” – “I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me” • The impact of passive communication: – Feeling anxious, depressed, resentful, or confused
  5. 5. Aggressive Communication • Aggressive communication often includes: – Using language to dominate others – Humiliation to control others – Criticism, blame, threats or attacking others verbally – Being demanding or overbearing • Examples of aggressive communication: – “It’s going to be my way or not at all” – “It’s all your fault” – “You’re just stupid if you think that will work” • The impact of passive communication: – Alienation from others – Being feared or disliked by others
  6. 6. Passive-Aggressive Communication • Passive-Aggressive communication often includes: – Acting out anger in a subtle or indirect manner – Appearing to be cooperative while subtly sabotaging – Avoiding confrontation and denying problems – Difficulty acknowledging or directly dealing with anger and resentment • Examples of passive-aggressive communication: – “I will appear cooperative but I’m not” – “I’m weak and resentful, so I will frustrate others” • The impact of passive-aggressive communication: – Alienation from others around them – Stuck in a position of powerlessness
  7. 7. Assertive Communication • Assertive communication often includes: – Clearly, appropriately, and respectfully stating opinions and feelings – Firmly advocating rights and needs – Not allowing others to abuse or manipulate them – Listening well without interrupting others • Examples of assertive communication: – “I can’t control others but I can control myself” – “I am responsible for getting my needs met in a respectful manner” • The impact of passive communication: – Feeling connected to others, competent and in control – Creating a respectful environment for self and others
  8. 8. More Examples of Assertive Communication • “So what you’re saying is…” • “I can see that this is important to you, and it is also important to me. Perhaps we can talk more respectfully and try to solve the problem” • “I think…I feel…I believe that…” • “I would appreciate it if you…”
  9. 9. Common Mistakes • What types of communication mistakes can you list? – From personal experience? – From prior knowledge? – Because we’ve made them ourselves?
  10. 10. Common Mistakes • Avoiding/Ignoring an issue that is important to the other person • Giving “The Silent Treatment” • Bringing up issues during inappropriate times • Not talking about issues in a timely manner, but instead saving them up and springing them all at once • Generalizing “you always…” or “you never…”
  11. 11. Common Mistakes • Name calling or assaulting the other person’s character • Blaming the other person for the problem at hand • Mind Reading or assuming what the other person is thinking/feeling • Calling attention to a known weakness of the other person • Bringing up past issues that had previously been resolved • Exaggerating the situation or making idle threats/ultimatums
  12. 12. Common Mistakes • Answering a complaint with your own separate complaint • Assuming that the other person knows what you are thinking/feeling • Belittling the other person’s complaint • Sulking or ignoring the other person’s strong expression of emotions • Giving non- negotiable demands • Pretending to go along, or agree, when you really do not
  13. 13. Communication Skills • What are some effective communication skills? – From personal experience? – From prior knowledge? – Because we’ve made them ourselves?
  14. 14. Communication Skills • Deal with issues as they come up • Pick a good time to have the conversation and make an “appointment” if necessary • Be specific, limited and direct…one issue at a time! • Be able to let go of anger…count to 10 if you really feel attacked • Use “I” language (“I am angry about…”) • Say what you really mean to say, don’t beat around the bush
  15. 15. Communication Skills • Stay in the present and use present examples • Deal with behaviors, not personality traits • Try to understand the other person’s feelings/perceptions (“Maybe he had a bad day”) • Be an active listener and repeat back what you are hearing to ensure accuracy • Be sensitive, you don’t always have to fight back! • Ask questions if you’re not sure what the other person is thinking/feeling
  16. 16. Communication Skills • Express and interest in coming to a mutually satisfying solution • Come up with a number of possible solutions from all angles • Stay on subject. Resolve one issue before moving on • Have a healthy physical way to express emotion • Be ready to forgive the other person • End conversations with an expression of positive feelings about working together successfully
  17. 17. Activity Time • Can you identify any common communication mistakes in the following scenarios?
  18. 18. Scenario #1 • Two friends are trying to make plans for the evening. One friend wants to go out for coffee and the other friend wants to go see a movie.
  19. 19. Scenario #2 • Two college roommates just received $100 to share. One roommate wants to buy a small refrigerator to share, but the other roommate wants to use the money for a night out on the town.