Here are two possible ways Teacher Kris could address this situation using guidance rather than discipline:
1. Remain calm and help the children calm down. Have a brief conversation with each child to understand their perspective, using open-ended questions. Then facilitate a conversation between the children so they can work it out, with Kris mediating to ensure both voices are heard. The goal is resolving the conflict, not assigning blame.
2. Separate the children briefly if needed for safety, but don't leave them alone. Once calm, have a joint problem-solving discussion at the table to negotiate a fair sharing agreement for the playdough moving forward, such as taking turns or dividing it evenly. Praise cooperative behaviors and remind them they
Handout 4.3 Leadership StrategiesModule 4 The Center on t
1. Handout 4.3: Leadership StrategiesModule 4
The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early
Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel Rev.
2/10 H 4.3
(p.1/2)
“From the last two decades of research, it is unequivocally clear
that children’s emotional and
behavioral adjustment is important for their chances of early
school success.” (Raver, 2002)
There is mounting evidence showing that young children with
challenging
behavior are more likely to experience early and persistent peer
rejection,
mostly punitive contacts with teachers, family interaction
patterns that are
unpleasant for all participants, and school failure (Center for
Evidence-Based
Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior, 2003).
Conversely,
children who are emotionally well-adjusted have a greater
chance of early
school success (Raver, 2002). Social and behavioral competence
in young
children predicts their academic performance in the fi rst grade
over and above
their cognitive skills and family backgrounds (Raver & Knitzer,
2002).
Science has established a compelling link between
2. social/emotional
development and behavior and school success (Raver, 2002;
Zins, Bloodworth,
Weissberg, & Walberg, 2004). Indeed, longitudinal studies
suggest that the
link may be causal….academic achievement in the fi rst few
years of schooling
appears to be built on a foundation of children’s emotional and
social skills
(Raver, 2002). Young children cannot learn to read if they have
problems
that distract them from educational activities, problems
following directions,
problems getting along with others and controlling negative
emotions, and
problems that interfere with relationships with peers, teachers,
and parents.
“Learning is a social process” (Zins et al., 2004).
The National Education Goals Panel (1996) recognized that a
young child
must be ready to learn, e.g., possess the pre-requisite skills for
learning in
order to meet the vision and accountability mandates of
academic achievement
and school success. Academic readiness includes the prosocial
skills that
are essential to school success. Research has demonstrated the
link between
social competence and positive intellectual outcomes as well as
the link
between antisocial conduct and poor academic performance
(Zins et al., 2004).
Programs that have a focus on social skills have been shown to
have improved
outcomes related to drop out and attendance, grade retention,
3. and special
education referrals. They also have improved grades, test
scores, and reading,
math, and writing skills (Zins etal., 2004).
Social skills that have been identified as essential for academic
success include:
getting along with others (parents, teachers, and peers),
following directions,
identifying and regulating one’s emotions and behavior,
thinking of appropriate solutions to confl ict,
persisting on task,
www.challengingbehavior.org
Recommended Practices
Linking Social Development and Behavior to School Readiness
Barbara J. Smith, Ph.D. – University of Colorado-Denver and
Health Sciences Center
Handout 4.3: Leadership StrategiesModule 4
The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early
Learning Vanderbilt University vanderbilt.edu/csefel H 4.3
(p.2/2)
Rev. 2/10
References
Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with
Challenging Behavior (2003). Facts about young children
with challenging behaviors. www.challengingbehavior.org
Division for Early Childhood (DEC) Position statement on
4. interventions for challenging behavior. www.dec-sped.org
Fox, L., Dunlap, G., Hemmeter, M.L., Joseph, G., & Strain,
P. (2003). The teaching pyramid: A model for supporting
social competence and preventing challenging behavior in
young children. Young Children, 58(4), 48-52.
National Education Goals Panel (l996). The national
education goals report: Building a nation of learners.
Washington DC: US Government Printing Offi ce.
Raver, C., & Knitzer, J. (2002). Ready to enter: What
research tells policymakers about strategies to promote
social and emotional school readiness among three- and
four-year old children. New York, NY: National Center for
Children in Poverty. [email protected]
Raver, C. (2002). Emotions matter: Making the case for the
role of young children’s emotional development for early
school readiness. Social Policy Report of the Society for
Research in Child Development, 16(3), 1-20.
Smith, B., & Fox, L. (2002). Systems of service delivery: A
synthesis of evidence relevant to young children at risk for
or who have challenging behavior. Center for Evidence-
Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior.
www.challengingbehavior.org
ZERO TO THREE (2003). Assuring school readiness by
promoting healthy social and emotional development.
Washington, DC: ZERO TO THREE Policy Center.
Zins, J., Bloodworth, M., Weissberg, R., & Walberg, H.
(2004). The scientifi c base linking social and emotional
learning to school success. In J. Zins, R. Weissberg,
M. Wang, & H. J. Walberg (Eds.), Building academic
success on social and emotional learning: What does
5. the research say? (pp. 1-22). New York: Teachers
Press, Columbia University.
On the web
www.challengingbehavior.org
Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with
Challenging Behavior
www.csefel.uiuc.edu
Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for
Early Learning
www.zerotothree.org
ZERO TO THREE
engaging in social conversation and cooperative play,
correctly interpreting other’s behavior and emotions,
feeling good about oneself and others.
And yet, many children are entering kindergarten and fi rst
grade without
the social, emotional, and behavioral skills that are necessary
for learning and
success in school. One survey of over 3000 kindergarten
teachers found that 30%
claimed at least half of the children in their classes lacked
academic skills, had
diffi culty following directions and working as part of a group;
and 20% reported
that at least half of the class had problems in social skills
(Rimm-Kaufman,
Pianta, & Cox, 2000).
Research indicates that children who display disruptive
behavior in school
receive less positive feedback from teachers, spend less time on
6. tasks, and receive
less instruction. They lose opportunities to learn from their
classmates in group-
learning activities and receive less encouragement from their
peers. Finally,
children who are disliked by their teachers and peers grow to
dislike school and
eventually have lower school attendance (Raver, 2002).
What can we do to increase school readiness in young children?
Policy – Federal and state policies need to refl ect the
importance of these
foundational skills by removing barriers and providing
incentives and
resources to communities and programs: (1) to improve the
overall quality
of early care settings; (2) to support families so that they are
able to
promote positive relationships and social competence in their
infants and
young children; (3) to prevent problem behavior by addressing
social and
educational factors that put children at risk for challenging
behavior; and (4)
to provide effective services and interventions to address
social/emotional
problems and challenging behavior when they occur.
Public Awareness – Federal, state, and local governments and
community
agencies need to raise the visibility of importance of social
competence in
school success.
Knowledge and Skills – Early care and education professionals
need
7. training and on-site technical assistance in evidence-based
practices for: (1)
promoting social skills (e.g., identifying and regulating
emotions, playing
cooperatively, following directions, getting along with others,
persisting
with tasks, problem solving, etc.); (2) preventing problem
behavior (through
classroom arrangements, individualizing to childrens’ interests
and abilities,
etc.); and (3) providing effective intervention strategies when
needed (e.g.
positive behavior support, peer mediated strategies, etc.) (Fox et
al., 2003).
Early childhood education professionals need to know how to
integrate
social/emotional learning with literacy, language, and other
curricular areas.
Professionals need to know how to provide parents with
information and
support around parenting practices that prevent problems and
effectively
address challenging behavior.
Research – Studies are needed on specifi c promotion,
prevention, and
intervention strategies to establish their effi cacy for specifi c
groups of
children in particular settings. Research is also needed on
policy and
programmatic features that result in more effective services for
children and
families related to social development.
“The emotional, social, and behavioral competence of young
children is a strong predictor of academic
8. performance in early elementary school.” (Zero to Three, 2003)
The reproduction of this document is encouraged.
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Resources / Publications / Teaching Young Children /
February/March 2020 / Instead of Discipline,
Use Guidance
DAN GARTRELL
We all know that we shouldn’t punish young children when they
exhibit challenging
behaviors. The children in our preschool classrooms are just
beginning to learn the
complex skills of getting along with others. These are skills that
we humans work on our
entire lives.
Children are going to have disagreements —sometimes dramatic
ones—as they interact
with others. They really don’t “know better” because they
haven’t learned the “better” yet.
After all, a 4-year-old has only 48 months of on-the-ground
experience! It’s our job to
teach children positive lessons from their mistakes—and to
make sure we don’t hold their
mistakes against them.
9. Conventional discipline too easily slides into punishment. For
example, if we embarrass
children by singling them out as part of our discipline strategy,
this is punishment.
Punishment makes young children feel stressed, hurt, rejected,
and angry; these feelings
make it harder for children to learn emotional and social skills.
When we punish children, we are actually making life more
difficult for
• the child, who feels rejected and unworthy and becomes more
challenged in learning social skills
• other children who worry for themselves and the punished
child
• adults who are not being the leaders they want to be
Instead of Discipline, Use Guidance
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Using guidance
Guidance is about building an encouraging setting for every
person in the group. It means
10. helping young children understand they can learn from their
mistakes, and it starts with
showing them how. To give this help successfully, we need to
build relationships with
every child—especially with the children we find difficult to
connect with and understand.
We build these relationships from day one, outside of conflict
situations. It is only when
children know and trust us in day-to-day interactions that they
will listen to us when
conflicts happen (after we have helped everyone calm down).
So what do you do when conflicts arise and you want to use
guidance? This article gives
two illustrations of guidance at work. The first one might
surprise you.
Illustration 1: Jeremiah comes through
This example comes from former preschool teacher Beth
Wallace.
When I first started working with Jeremiah, he had a lot of
angry outbursts. The
center used time-out at that point (the dreaded “green chair”),
and Jeremiah spent
considerable time there. While I was at the center, we moved
away from using time-
outs and introduced a system called peer problem-solving. By
the time Jeremiah
graduated to kindergarten, we had been using the system for
three years, and he
was one of the experts.
One day, I overheard a fracas in the block corner. I stood up to
see what was going
on, ready to intervene. Jordan, just 26 months old and only
11. talking a little bit, had a
truck. Franklin, 50 months old, decided it was his turn to use
the truck. I took a step
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forward, ready to go to their aid, but paused when I saw
Jeremiah (then 60 months
old) approach them.
“What’s going on, guys?” Jeremiah asked (my standard opening
line). He then
facilitated a five-minute discussion between the two children.
He made sure both
got a chance to speak, interpreting for the little one. “Jordan,
what do you think of
that idea?” he asked. Jordan shook his head and clutched the
truck tighter. “I don’t
think Jordan’s ready to give up the truck yet,” Jeremiah told
Franklin.
After helping his classmates negotiate an agreement, Jeremiah’s
competence was
without question, and his pride was evident.
On this day, Beth knew that three years of building
relationships and teaching children
how to resolve their conflicts through mediation was paying off.
Illustration 2: Playdough politics
In preschool, three common sources of conflicts are property,
12. territory, and privilege. The
following illustration is a combination of dozens of property-
related conflicts I have
worked with teachers to address. I put a magnifying glass to this
one so you can see up
close what guidance is and isn’t, and how it teaches young
children to learn from
mistaken behavior.
J a s o n , a g e 4 2 m o n t h s , i s t h e o n l y o n e a t t
h e p l a y d o u g h
t a b l e . H e g e t s a g r i n o n h i s f a c e a n d p u l l s
t h e w h o l e c h u n k
o f d o u g h i n f r o n t o f h i m . H e s t a r t s w o r k i n
g t h e d o u g h a n d
m u t t e r s , “ M a k i n ’ a d i n o s a u r n e s t a n d e g g
s . ”
D a e i s h a , a g e 5 2 m o n t h s , s i t s a t t h e t a b l e
a n d s e e s J a s o n
h a s a l l t h e d o u g h . S h e s a y s , “ H e y , g i v e m
e s o m e ! ” J a s o n
h a n d s D a e i s h a a t i n y b i t a n d c i r c l e s h i s a
r m s a r o u n d t h e
b i g m o u n d . D a e i s h a r e s p o n d s b y g r a b b i n g
a l a r g e h a n d f u l
o f d o u g h o u t f r o m u n d e r J a s o n ’ s a r m . J a s
o n s c r e a m s .
W h e n h e t r i e s t o g r a b t h e d o u g h b a c k , D a e
i s h a p u s h e s h i m
a n d s t a r t s k n e a d i n g t h e p l a y d o u g h . T e a c h
e r K r i s s e e s
J a s o n o n t h e f l o o r , y o w l i n g , a n d D a e i s h a
u s i n g p l a y d o u g h
a s i f n o t h i n g h a s h a p p e n e d .
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Pause for a few minutes to think about how you would address
this situation. Then read
on to consider two possible intervention choices.
C o n v e n t i o n a l d i s c i p l i n e : K r i s w a l k s o v e
r t o D a e i s h a , s t a n d s
a b o v e h e r , a n d s a y s l o u d l y , “ Y o u ’ v e t a k e
n s o m e t h i n g f r o m
a n o t h e r p e r s o n a g a i n , D a e i s h a . Y o u n e e d
t o s i t o n t h e t i m e -
o u t c h a i r s o y o u w i l l r e m e m b e r h o w t o s h a
r e . ” K r i s t a k e s
D a e i s h a t o t h e c h a i r .
D a e i s h a i s n o t t h i n k i n g , “ I a m g l a d t h e t e
a c h e r h a s
t e m p o r a r i l y p r e v e n t e d m e f r o m p l a y i n g .
N o w I w i l l b e a b e t t e r
c h i l d a n d u s e f r i e n d l y w o r d s i n s t e a d o f f
o r c i n g m y w i l l o n
o t h e r s . ” I n s t e a d , D a e i s h a i s e m b a r r a s s e d
, h u r t , a n d a n g r y . S h e
f e e l s r e j e c t e d b y K r i s a n d u n w e l c o m e i n t
h e g r o u p . D a e i s h a i s
t h i n k i n g h o w t o g e t b a c k a t J a s o n .
G u i d a n c e : K r i s m o v e s b e t w e e n t h e t w o c h
i l d r e n , k n e e l s d o w n ,
a n d t a k e s t h e f o l l o w i n g f i v e f i r m , f r i e n d
14. l y a c t i o n s . K r i s
1 . D e s c r i b e s t h e s c e n e . “ I s e e J a s o n o n t h
e f l o o r v e r y
u p s e t . I s e e D a e i s h a u s i n g a b i g b u n c h o f
p l a y d o u g h . W e
n e e d t o s o l v e t h i s p r o b l e m . ”
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2 . C a l m s w h o n e e d s c a l m i n g . “ J a s o n , w e
n e e d t o h e l p y o u
c o o l d o w n s o w e c a n m a k e t h i s b e t t e r . L e t
’ s g e t y o u b a c k
o n t h e c h a i r . ” T a k i n g t h e p l a y d o u g h , K r i
s l o o k s a t D a e i s h a
a n d s a y s t o b o t h c h i l d r e n , “ I w i l l h o l d t h
e p l a y d o u g h . T a k e
s o m e d e e p b r e a t h s o r j u s t c l o s e y o u r e y e s
t o g e t c a l m . ”
3 . L e a d s e a c h c h i l d t o d e s c r i b e t h e c o n f l
i c t , o f t e n s t a r t i n g
w i t h t h e y o u n g e r c h i l d .
K r i s : J a s o n , w h a t d o y o u t h i n k h a p p e n e d
?
J a s o n : I w a s m a k i n g a d i n o s a u r n e s t a n d
D a e i s h a t o o k
m y p l a y d o u g h !
15. K r i s : A n y t h i n g e l s e ?
J a s o n : I g a v e h e r s o m e , b u t s h e s t i l l t o o k
m i n e .
K r i s : D a e i s h a , w h a t d o y o u t h i n k h a p p e n
e d ?
D a e i s h a : H e h a d a l l t h e p l a y d o u g h a n d j u
s t s h a r e d a
l i t t l e . S o I t o o k s o m e s o I c o u l d p l a y t o o .
J a s o n : D a e i s h a h a d s o m e . ( H e p o i n t s t o t
h e l i t t l e g l o b
h e g a v e h e r . )
K r i s : L e t ’ s l e t D a e i s h a f i n i s h .
D a e i s h a : I n e e d e d m o r e t o p l a y , s o I t o o k
i t .
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K r i s : L e t ’ s s e e , i s t h i s r i g h t ? J a s o n , y o u
w e r e m a k i n g a
b i g n e s t w i t h t h e p l a y d o u g h . D a e i s h a c a m
e a n d d i d n ’ t
h a v e a n y . J a s o n g a v e D a e i s h a s o m e . D a e i
s h a , y o u
d i d n ’ t h a v e e n o u g h , s o y o u t o o k m o r e s o y
16. o u c o u l d
p l a y t o o ?
B o t h c h i l d r e n n o d , w h i c h a s s u r e s K r i s t h
a t t h e y b o t h
f e e l l i k e t h e y h a v e b e e n h e a r d a n d a r e r e a
d y t o m o v e
f o r w a r d .
4 . S o l v e s t h e p r o b l e m w i t h t h e c h i l d r e n
— n o t f o r t h e m .
K r i s : S o h o w c a n w e f i x t h i s s o y o u c a n b
o t h p l a y ?
D a e i s h a : H e c a n s h a r e m o r e .
J a s o n : B u t n o t t o o m u c h .
K r i s s e t s t h e p l a y d o u g h i n f r o n t o f J a s o n .
J a s o n g i v e s
D a e i s h a a b i t m o r e . D a e i s h a a n d K r i s b o t
h l o o k a t
J a s o n . H e g r i m a c e s b u t h a n d s o v e r e n o u g
h t o s a t i s f y
t h e o t h e r t w o .
K r i s : T h a n k y o u , J a s o n . C a n y o u s t i l l m a
k e a d i n o s a u r
n e s t o r m a y b e j u s t a n e a g l e n e s t ?
J a s o n : A l i t t l e r d i n o s a u r n e s t .
K r i s : D a e i s h a , J a s o n w a s o n t h e f l o o r a n
d h e w a s
u p s e t . H e h a s g i v e n y o u m o r e p l a y d o u g h .
17. S e e m s l i k e
y o u n e e d t o d o s o m e t h i n g h e r e t o m a k e t h i
n g s b e t t e r .
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( I n s t e a d o f f o r c i n g D a e i s h a t o a p o l o g i z e
, K r i s g u i d e s
t h e c h i l d t o t h i n k a b o u t w h a t w o u l d m a k e
J a s o n f e e l
b e t t e r . )
D a e i s h a : T h a n k y o u , J a s o n . S o r r y . C a n I
m a k e y o u
s o m e e g g s ?
J a s o n : Y e a h , a w h o l e b u n c h .
5 . F o l l o w s u p w i t h o n e o r b o t h c h i l d r e n b
y h a v i n g a
g u i d a n c e t a l k S i t t i n g n e x t t o D a e i s h a , K r
i s t h a n k s h e r f o r
h e l p i n g t o s o l v e t h e p r o b l e m a n d t a l k s w i
t h h e r a b o u t
w h a t t o d o n e x t t i m e s o n o o n e i s h u r t . T h
e y a g r e e t h a t i f a
c l a s s m a t e w o n ’ t s h a r e , D a e i s h a w i l l a s k
a t e a c h e r f o r h e l p .
Although guidance may seem time-consuming, a scene like this
can play out in just five
18. minutes. If you truly do not have time to engage in all five steps
at that moment, do steps
1 and 2 right away and tell the children when you will get
together to finish the mediation.
Don’t forget! If the problem is no longer a big deal to both
children when you get together,
skip to step 5 for a guidance talk. Help each child learn how to
get along better next time.
Seeing the value of guidance
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Why is guidance well worth the time it takes? Here are four
reasons.
First, the teacher does not make one child seem like a
perpetrator and the other seem like
a victim. Adults can actually start bully-victim patterns if they
consistently comfort the
“helpless” victim and punish the “guilty” perpetrator. Kris
handled this situation so both
children felt they were worthy individuals who belonged in the
class and were capable of
solving their problems and of learning from their mistakes.
Second, Kris worked with Daeisha. Children who have the
boldness to take things from
others most often also have the individual strength to become
leaders who can work
cooperatively with others (like Jeremiah), if we support them in
19. developing their
emotional and social skills. This change requires belief in the
child and firm, friendly, and
consistent guidance (with an emphasis on the friendly).
Third, every use of guidance provides powerful lessons in
language arts and social
studies. Children who learn to put strong emotions into non-
hurtful words gain
vocabulary and communication skills that serve them well for
their entire lives. Children
who learn the social studies lessons of overcoming differences
and solving problems
together are gaining democratic life skills.
Finally, every time members of an encouraging classroom see
guidance at work, children
and adults together learn the vital lesson that everyone is a
worthy individual, belongs in
the group, and can participate in solving problems. For all of us,
this is important
learning for making our democracy “more perfect.”
Closing thoughts
Guidance should not be thought of as a weak alternative to
traditional discipline—it’s
being a good coach who doesn’t give up on any member of the
team. Your efforts at
guidance don’t have to be perfect, but if you persist and reflect,
you will get good results.
Like Beth and Kris, we learn even as we teach. Do these things
and you will feel positively
about yourself as a teacher—and that will help with the inner
calm you need to guide
children toward healthy emotional and social skills.