Conflict Management
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Practical solutions for conflict resolution at work and home.
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Conflict Management
- 1. 10 Practical Clinical solutions
- 2. Prep Work: De-Escalate, Diffuse & Decompress • Creating a safe place • Assess for risk • Balance of empathy & boundaries • No “snowballing”
- 3. 1)Become Rooted in the Present the Present • Pause & get grounded • Take thinking out of past & future • Mindfulness practices • Deep breathing, yoga • Meditation (Kabat-Zinn, Deepak Chopra) • Progressive muscle relaxation • Eckhart Tolle, “The Power of Now”
- 4. 2)Avoid a Knee-Jerk Reaction • Avoid a fight or flight response • Avoid engaging in a tug-of-war • Don’t lock horns • Detach from ego • Eckhart Tolle, “A New Earth”
- 5. 3)Zoom Out & Gain Perspective • A blip in time • See the big picture • Detachment • Unhook from the minutia
- 6. 4)Avoid Behaviors that Add Fuel to the Fire • Dr. John Gottman (www.gottman.com) • Criticism • Contempt • Stonewalling • Defensiveness
- 7. 5) “Observe, Don’t Absorb” • Concept by Ross Rosenberg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome • YouTube video: shttp:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io15t9V5bXc • Consider a “Reboot”
- 8. 6)Focus on What you Can Control & Let Go of the Rest • Can’t change other people • Can’t control the outcome • Can change your thoughts, behaviors, reactions • “How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours,” Wayne Dyer.
- 9. 7)Use Assertive Communication • Neither passive, aggressive, nor passive-aggressive • “I” statements • Clear boundaries (cloudtownsend.com) • No triangulation
- 10. 8)Speak with Integrity • Speak from place of sadness rather than anger • Before speaking, ask yourself, “Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true?” • Be the person you want to be regardless of how the other is behaving
- 11. 9)Process the Grief • Clearing the grief clarifies the conflict and expedites resolution--conflict is a way to stay connected to the relationship • Grieving what could have been • Work toward acceptance
- 12. 10) Make Amends & Forgive & Forgive • Take responsibility for yourself & make timely and sincere amends • Practice forgiveness of self & others • Resentment keeps us tethered to the past • Anger affects mental & physical health • “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies,” Nelson Mandela.
- 13. Joyce Marter, LCPC Joyce Marter, LCPC www.joyce-marter.com www.urbanbalance.com joyce@urbanbalance.com @Joyce_Marter Please connect on LinkedIn!
Notas del editor
- Thank you---grateful to Michele Lowrance for inviting me, honored to be with you today. These are for you as the practictioner to use for yourself in your work with your clients, to suggest to your clients and to understand that this is what clinicians do with your clients.
- rapport respect trust Parenting Tolerance for the madness Jamie and MG and phones--ridiculous
- good for stress management awareness consciousness being less reactive pain of the past (ruminating, second guessing)--fear of the future (obsessing) Good for the practictioner---mediator, attorney
- good for stress management awareness consciousness being less reactive pain of the past--fear of the future Good for the practictioner---mediator, attorney
- Healthy separation--watching on a movie theater, from a train window, the observer, EMDR It’s not about Matt Lauer
- text and facebook warfare
- examples
- coach your clients to make a list of these things
- Jenn Panning
- This will clear out the cobwebs and make the conflict more clear--what is it you are really fighting about All relationships come into our lives for a reason no such thing as a failed marriage
- If I can be a resource to your or your clients public speaking, training, blogs, therapy, anger management classes