You Only Get One Chance: Your Ultimate Guide to Craft a Powerful First Impression and be Truly Unforgettable to Everyone You Meet. Sneak peak at Chapters 1 and 2. Alex and Katey Bailin

1. You Only Get One Chance
Your Ultimate Guide to Craft a
Powerful First Impression and be
Truly Unforgettable to Everyone
You Meet
Alex and Katey Bailin

2. ©2016 Alexander and Katey Bailin
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any
means, including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise – without prior written permission.
The authors make NO GUARANTEES of specific results from reading this book. Although the authors have made every
effort to publish the most accurate and up-to-date information in this book, we do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability
to any party for any loss, damage or disruption due to errors or omissions, whether by accident, negligence or any other
reason.

3. Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: How We Form First Impressions
Chapter 2: Your Digital Footprint
Chapter 3: Clothing: If It Don’t Fit, It Ain’t It
Chapter 4: Sing the Body (Language) Electric
Chapter 5: Damage Control
Conclusion
Additional Resources

4. Introduction
Did you know we use the same part of the brain that
determines how things should be priced when we meet
people? It’s been said we form first impressions within a
fraction of a second after meeting someone.
We’ve all heard that saying, “You never get a second
chance to make a good first impression”. As with most
cliches, the reason this saying won’t go away is because of
its inherent truth.
The purpose of this book is to make the most of the
factors people use to judge others, so you can make a
standout first impression wherever you go.
Why are First Impressions Important?
This may seem obvious, but we judge people within
seconds of meeting them. The first thing we look at is
whether or not the person is a friend or foe. This is
leftover from our caveman days.
Since we decide the person’s value when we meet them,
it makes sense that we factor in how significant this
person is to our personal goals and motivations when we
form first impressions.

5. What you’re going to learn in this book is how to make a
standout first impression to whomever you meet, whether
it’s a date, job interview, or networking event.
Here’s a story of a not-so-great first impression I made.
In high school, I got a job interview at the retirement
home I volunteered at. I loved volunteering there. We
would play trivia, and I looked forward to the stories the
residents would share about their lives.
However, when I got an interview to actually get a job
there, my 17-year-old self was naive enough to think I
didn’t need to prepare. So I showed up without having
really even looked at the job description, just with the
(incorrect) thought that they’d hire me because of my
volunteer experience.
Not only that, but I forgot to turn off my cell phone, so it
rang in the middle of the interview. Needless to say, I
didn’t exactly knock ‘em dead. Nor did I get the job.
You may be thinking, “Duh. I know to research the job
and turn my phone off. Why do I need to read this
book?”. There’s a lot more to the science of first
impressions than meets the eye. While each situation is
different, so I can’t make a blood oath with the promise

6. of success, we can go over all the less-than-obvious
aspects, and how to use them to tilt the odds in your
favor.
Like anything else in life, you’ll notice the more you use
these tips, the more confidence you’ll project into the
world. Please let me know what tips and tricks helped
you the most, and feel free to share any that you may
have picked up along the way. This is a lifelong process,
and we can all learn from one another.
Are First Impressions Even Accurate?
This is a pretty common question, and it’s
understandable why you’d be curious about it. Here’s the
thing: whatever you feel on the inside is what you project
into the outside world. So as far as the “accuracy” of the
first impressions you give people...they are accurate in
terms of what you felt in that moment.
As such, I can’t stress enough how important it is to
prepare for that interview, date, or meeting. Knowledge is
power. You’ll never regret the extra time you took to
make yourself look your best or learn about the person
you’ll meet with. It’s one of the best investments you can
possibly make in yourself and your reputation.

7. The first part of the book will discuss how we form
impressions and what factors go into “sizing up” others.
Second, we’ll cover your online footprint. This will help
you clean up any less-than-favorable Google search
results and beef up your LinkedIn profile.
The third part will talk about dressing for the part,
whatever that part may be. We’ll talk about color
psychology and what the best colors are to wear for job
interviews, dates, etc.
Fourth, we’ll go over nonverbal cues and how to read
and use body language. You’ll be able to decipher how a
person reacts to you in real time by being able to “read”
them. This tool will be incredibly useful, especially if
you’re looking for tells as to whether or not you got the
job, or that guy or girl wants to Netflix and chill with you
again.
Last, we’ll talk about damage control. Yes, you only get
one chance to make a first impression, but if you messed
up, don’t worry. It’s possible to recover from a less-than-
amazing first meeting.
Let’s get started.

8. Chapter 1: How We Form First Impressions
People start to judge you from the moment they meet
you. What do they look at to evaluate you?
There’s a psychological theory called “thin slicing”. This
refers to how we unconsciously form snap judgments that
may otherwise take years to complete with the analytical
side of our mind. We do this any time we meet people
or have to make a decision.
Anyone you meet will “read” you in two parts:
1. Unconsciously: based on your appearance, body
language and their frame of reference.
2. Consciously: if you make it to their conscious
perception by interacting with them on a regular basis,
they will make it a point to observe your behavior. They
will piece together the information they learn about you
to arrive to a conclusion.
3 Things People Look For When They “Size You Up”
 Trustworthiness: how much warmth and competence
you display.

9.  Balance of Power: are you equals? Do you rank
lower or higher than them?
 Value: if there’s a power disparity, they will be
wondering how you are valuable to them.
What Happens During a Conversation?
 The people involved coordinate to take turns
speaking and listening.
 They decide what language to use and what to call
objects/concepts referred to during the conversation.
 They adopt similarities in speech patterns and
accents as the conversation progresses.
 In person, their body language will begin to
coordinate. They will adopt similar stances or hand
gestures.
3 Types of Learners
The 3 biggest ways we absorb information are through
visuals, audio or kinesthetically. Which type are you?
Read on to find out.
Visual

10. About 75% of the population are visual learners. You can
usually tell if a person is visual because they will make a
ton of eye contact during a conversation.
Here are phrases you’ll hear visual learners say (and
things you can say to make them more comfortable
talking with you:
 “I see where you’re coming from.”
 “Show me what you mean.”
 “What’s your view on this situation?”
Auditory
About 20% of people are auditory learners. You’ll notice
audio learners move their lips, as if they’re talking to
themselves (because they are), when they’re processing a
thought.
Some things you’ll hear audio learners say, or you can
say to them to build rapport, are:
 “I hear you.”
 “Sounds awesome.”
 “Tell me about it.”
Kinesthetic

11. Kinesthetic learners are only about 5% of people. You
can tell a kinesthetic person because they’ll lean in
toward you as you speak.
You’ll hear a kinesthetic learner say things like the
phrases mentioned below. You can tell them these
phrases to establish comfort:
 “How does that make you feel?”
 “Keep in touch.”
How Do You Prefer To Get Your Learn On?
Not sure if you’re Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic? Try
this:
1. Relax and close your eyes.
2. Breathe in through your nose, and out through your
mouth.
3. Recall an earlier memory. How does it appear to you?
Do you see the image in your mind? Do you hear it or
think about words that remind you of it? Or do you
remember how things felt to the touch?
You may have a mixture of 2 learning styles, or even a
combo of all 3. However, there’s almost always a

12. dominant way a person absorbs information. You’ll be
able to tell your preferred learning style by the first way
you process the memory from the exercise.
What is Charisma?
Charisma means “gift of grace” in Greek. It is personal
magnetism that can seem almost divine.
Is it something you’re “just born with”? Contrary to
popular belief, charisma is a trait that you can acquire
and cultivate over time.
A 2011 University of Lausanne study proves this point.
They found anyone can learn how to influence others by
studying what’s known as “Charismatic Leadership
Tactics” (CLTs).
What Makes a Person Charismatic?
The study observed a total of 12 core CLTs. 9 are verbal,
and 3 are nonverbal. Below are the main traits of
charisma, or CLTs:
Verbal:
1. Story

13. Abraham Lincoln said, “In order to win a man to your
cause, you must first reach his heart.”. That’s the power
of story. Stories allow our minds to escape to another
place. This allows us to escape the ho-hum of everyday
life and get swept up in suspense.
2. Anecdote
An anecdote is a brief retelling of an incident that relates
to the topic. Anecdotes are a great way to give context
while creating an emotional connection with your
listener.
For example, when I was in high school, I was in debate.
Being able to see all sides of an argument brought me an
incredible amount of insight. It also strengthened my
creative thinking abilities.
All that would have been great except for the whole
“having to speak in front of a crowd” thing. I was the
whole nine yards of nervousness before our meets:
sweaty palms, fidgeting, just wishing it was over. The only
thing on my mind was, “How am I going to be able to
debate an entire argument, when I can barely string a
coherent sentence together?”. Behold the power of
anecdotes.

14. Anecdotes helped me remember statistical data, because
I could organize it into a sequence in my head. Instead of
trying to think of it like, “80% of people are unhappy
with (insert issue here”), I would tell myself something
like, “We’re going to start with the story of how this
became such a huge concern. Talk about this family’s
hardship and how it inspired people to form a group to
protest against the situation.”
Anecdotes, like stories, can be sourced from anywhere.
Think about your own personal experiences, or ones
you’ve read or heard from people around you.
3. Metaphor
Metaphors are used to explain complicated subjects and
bring images to the forefront of the person’s mind. They
bypass the critical factor and activate the listener’s right
brain.
4. Sentiments of the Group
You know the saying, “strength in numbers”. The desire
to belong is an inherent human need. So when someone
gathers a group of like-minded people together and their
words reflect the beliefs of the group, it can pump a
feeling of adrenaline and euphoria into the room. Martin
Luther King’s famous “I Have a Dream Speech” comes
to mind.

15. 5. Set Higher Goals for Yourself and 6. Have
Confidence You Can Achieve Your Goals
These two traits are grouped together for a reason. Don’t
be afraid to expect more from yourself. Never waver in
trusting that you can accomplish these goals.
In 1917, when he was eight years old, Glenn
Cunningham’s legs were severely burned from an
explosion. Doctors said there was no way he would be
able to walk again. He lost all 5 toes on his left foot. Not
only that, but he lost all the skin from his legs, which left
them covered in scar tissue.
After the accident, if he wasn’t asleep in bed, Glenn was
wheelchair-bound. One day, when his mother wheeled
him outside to enjoy the sun, he forcefully threw himself
out of the wheelchair. With his legs dragging behind him,
Glenn crawled around the yard.
He reached the picket fence, where he managed to hoist
himself up. As he gripped the fence to keep balance,
Glenn moved along the length of it. His motivation was
so strong that he did this every day, until the ground
around the fence was completely worn down.

16. Through his sheer determination to walk again,
combined with the ability to grit his teeth through
whatever he had to endure to make it happen, Glenn not
only walked again – but ran. He ran everywhere he
could. His delight was infectious, and would bring a smile
to peoples’ faces as they saw him jetting by.
Glenn competed in the 1932 Olympics. He competed
again in 1936, and won the silver medal for the 1500
meter race. This man, known as the “Kansas Ironman”,
who was sure to never walk again, much less run, broke
the world record for the fastest indoor mile.
Glenn’s story illustrates how strong the human mind is,
even when all odds are seemingly stacked against you.
When you get discouraged, remember, like Glenn, you
just have to put one foot in front of the other. Before you
know it, you’ll be walking. With enough dedication to
walking every day, soon you’ll be able to run. When you
start feeling down, remember the sense of freedom that’s
waiting for you on the other end and keep at it.
7. Contrasts
Need a powerful way to remove people’s objections
about the point you wish to convey? Use contrasts.

17. We judge pretty much everything by comparison. This is
known as the Contrast Principle. You apply it when you
think about any possible concerns the person may have,
then contrast them with your point.
8. Lists
Three part lists make your point or argument feel
“complete”. As we talk about in the Speaking Without
Freaking book, the rule of 3 is popular for comedy
writing. Three is the perfect number for a list, because it’s
the lowest number needed to start a pattern.
Next time you watch your favorite comedian do stand-up,
notice if they use the rule of three. Former UK Prime
Minister Tony Blair is also a fan of three part lists.
9. Rhetorical Questions
These are statements disguised as questions. They are
powerful because they convince the listener that they
came up with the idea themselves.
You may wonder, “How can I know whether I’m asking
a rhetorical question?”. Most of us ask rhetorical
questions every day, whether we’re aware of it or not.
Here are a few common examples of rhetorical
questions:

18.  “Is the pope Catholic?”
 “Why me?”
 “Is rain wet?”
 “Do pigs fly?”
I could give you more examples, but there’s no point in
that, is there? Especially if you had to comb through
pages of these. But who’s counting? After the first page
or so, you’d probably think, “Is this some sort of joke?”.
Now, do you want to go on to the next part of the book?
I don’t know, can fish swim?
Wait, What About the Nonverbal Cues?
We’ll discuss the Nonverbal Cues (Facial Expressions,
Gestures and Lively Tone of Voice) later in the book, in
Chapter 4.
Now let’s talk about how your online reputation precedes
you, for better or worse. Focusing, of course, on the
former.

19. Chapter 2: Your Digital Footprint
Growing up, my dad always told me to “never put it in
writing”. Of course, being a stubborn teenage girl, I’d
ignore this valuable advice time and time again. Whether
getting caught passing notes to my friends (in which I
called our teacher a less than favorable name) or
complaining about my job on my Xanga (this was the
early days of blogging, circa 2003), I’m sure he got
frustrated having to do so much damage control.
I finally got my act together and listened to his wisdom. It
was bad enough back in the days of Internet infancy, but
now, practically everything you do online can be tracked
in some way. I know this is not new or novel information,
but we don’t think about this influx of data and how it
could make our reputation precede us, for better or
worse.
Nowadays, it’s common for employers to Google
prospective job candidates before considering them for a
position. Potential roommates or romantic partners may
also try to find out about you before meeting you.
Whether or not you’ve done this before, Google
yourself. Just type in “First Name Last Name”. See what
comes up. Does someone with a similar name come up

20. in the Google search for your name? Try Googling your
name with your city and state or country and see what
comes up in the local results.
If you see something that’s less than ideal, see if you can
find the contact details for that site. Try contacting the
site owner to see if you can get it taken down. If not,
don’t worry, there are other avenues we can take to try to
get it removed, which we’ll be discussing in a moment.
Then look through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,
Snapchat, Pinterest, etc. search by your name.
Here are some tips for managing your digital footprint:
 Make your social media accounts private! Manage
your settings so only your friends can view your
updates or photos.
 Consistently use the same name across all your social
media sites.
 Be sure to include your location, or where you want
to move to, in your online profiles. This will help
your name come up in the search results for the area.
 Think twice before you accept a friend request from
your boss or a client.

21.  Don’t make status updates complaining about a bad
day at work, a stupid client or how ridiculous your
boss is.
 Sign up for Google alerts for your name. This will
tell you if your name was mentioned in a blog or
article.
Maybe you remember a few years ago when two
Domino’s employees were fired for a gross video they
posted on YouTube. While I’m sure you know better
than to smear snot on food (or document it), even a
seemingly innocuous gripe about work could come back
to bite you.
Instead, vent about it to a friend or a family member (not
in writing, of course). Watch a movie or hits some balls
at the batting cage to blow off steam.
Yes, it can seem like a huge invasion of privacy. I’ve even
heard of potential employers adding friends of the job
candidate so they can peek at the candidate’s social
media. But it’s better to stop dwelling over it and just
accept it and learn to use it to our advantage.
How to Maximize Your LinkedIn Profile for Success

22. Why is LinkedIn important? A study done by the
University of Massachusetts at Darmouth found that 81%
of Fortune 500 companies use LinkedIn as part of the
recruiting process.
When someone searches by the People Search option
on LinkedIn, they’ll see your:
 Name
 Profile Picture
 Headline
Worth a Thousand Words
People who view your LinkedIn profile are going to see
your picture first. A 2015 study done by the Online
Journal of Communication and Media Technologies
shows that profiles with a picture are viewed as more
competent and credible than those without a photo.
Make sure your profile picture is only of you, and you’re
dressed professionally in it. It’s human nature to want to
make eye contact with others, so skip any pictures of you
wearing sunglasses.
Title

23. If you’re searching for a job, check job sites like
Indeed.com. Check out the specific title of the position
you want. Then add that title to your LinkedIn profile.
For example, if your LinkedIn job title is currently set to
“Receptionist”, but the company you want to work for
calls it “Administrative Assistant”, change your job title to
“Administrative Assistant”.
Review the description for the job you want. See if there
are any specifications that match your experience. If so,
add those skills to your LinkedIn profile.
If the company says they want a candidate with Pivot
table experience in Excel (assuming you have Pivot table
experience), say, “Pivot table experience in Excel” in
your profile instead of just “Experience in Excel”.
Headline
Your headline is your chance to grab their attention. As a
copywriter, I can’t emphasize the importance of a
remarkable headline enough. When writing your
headline, switch your focus from “I” to “You”. What can
you do for them?

24. The headline is going to be what influences whether or
not the person clicks on your page. Here are some
examples of awesome LinkedIn headlines:
 Copywriter who knows how to craft compelling
content your readers will love.
 The Digital Consultant you’ve been looking for.
 Marketing Maven with a knack for turning words
into revenue.
See how they answered the question of what they could
do for you?
Additional Tips
Here are some more helpful hints so you can craft an
impressive LinkedIn profile:
 Make sure you’ve got your most up-to-date contact
information listed.
 Join 2-3 groups in your desired field. This will put
you in touch with people in your industry.
Contribute meaningful content to the groups. Keep
marketing and sales pitches to a minimum.

25. Hopefully these tips can give you a head start on
establishing an unforgettable online presence. Of course,
this is just the tip of the iceberg, as the entirety of this
subject is beyond the scope of this book. In closing, a
good rule to have in mind, before posting something, is
asking yourself whether you’d want a prospective
employer to see it.