Because of miscommunication there can be lots of frustration and anger. This model will help you understand the root of the misunderstanding and helps you deal the situation better the next time. For more details, please visit: www.liveyourmark.com/pctp or http://preview.liveyourmark.com/be-a-coach/ For mor life tips visit www.liveyourmark.com/blog

1. Tips for better communication IV
4 sides
of a
message!

2. Tips for better communication:
a 4-part series
Series 1: Building empathy
Series 2: How to listen
Series 3: How to ask
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3. Communication always consists
of at least one sender and one receiver.
According to the ‘4-sides-of-a-message-model’
or ‘4-ears-model’ of Friedemann Schulz von
Thun, messages can be sent or received in 4
different ways.
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4. 4 sides of a message
As shown in the model above, the receiver has up to 4 different
possible ways to understand the message.
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messageSender Receiver

5. The 4-sides model is also called the 4-ears-model
Since every message can be received with a different ear.
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6. The 4-ears-model
What I inform you about.
I impart all the necessary facts and
data.
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7. The 4-ears-model
What I say about myself.
Disclosure of my current mood, secret
and open motives, and my positive
and negative feelings and thoughts.
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8. The 4-ears-model
What I think of you and how we relate
to each other.
Also possible to show non-verbally,
like through facial expressions,
intonations or gestures.
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9. The 4-ears-model
What I want you to do.
On this level, the receiver perceives
the senders’ commands, wishes, and
advice directed at him or herself.
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10. Sample 1: receiver’s perspective
A married couple is waiting together in a car in front of a red traffic light. It is turning green,
but the man doesn’t start driving immediately. Therefore his wife is saying: “The traffic
light is green.” These are four different ways the husband can receive the message.
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She is impatient.
She is annoyed.
She is saying:
“Don’t dawdle.
Start driving.
Hurry up!”
The traffic light
turned indeed
green.
She is showing her
superiority over me
OR she wants to
help me.

11. Sample 2: sender and receiver’s perspectives
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12. Sample 3: non-verbal message
Often, non-verbal channels are used for implicit messages. The voice, pronunciation and
emphasis, accompanied with facial expressions and gestures, also provide information
about a conveyed message.
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I feel sad,
OR I am happy;
I am emotionally
touched.
Please stop being
mean, OR
please console
me.
I‘m crying.
Look what you did,
you jerk, OR you are
amazing.
crying

13. Sample 4: non-verbal message
“One cannot not communicate.”– Paul Watzlawick (1969). Every behavior conveys a
message. We don’t have to say something to communicate.
For instance, when I enter a train compartment, I greet a stranger with a friendly remark. He
doesn’t respond, but continues reading his newspaper. The message that I hear can be:
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He wants to be left
alone in silence.
He doesn't want
me to start a
conversation under
any circumstances.
He is silent.
Maybe I am not
interesting enough
for him to respond.
silence

14. This model will help you to:
Be more aware of your own words:
By being aware that certain sentences can trigger emotional reactions,
you can address facts objectively and not personally.
Increase empathy towards others:
Understanding how each communication can cause an emotional
reaction will help you become more empathic towards others.
Prevent conflicts and miscommunication
Misunderstandings occur when the sender and receiver indicate and
weigh the 4 levels differently.
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15. Learn more with our Professional
Coach Training Program (PCTP):
4 modules:
Fundamentals of Coaching (32 hours),
Performance Coaching (35 hours),
Relational Coaching (34 hours),
Advanced Coaching Techniques (34 hours).
100% ‘LIVE’, in-person training in Singapore
Internationally recognized and comprehensive structure
Maximum learning and interaction in small learning groups
ISO 9001:2008 certified program
For more details, please visit: www.liveyourmark.com/pctp
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16. References:
Friedemann Schulz von Thun (2010). Miteinander reden 1: Störungen
und Klärungen. Allgemeine Psychologie der Kommunikation. (Talking
with each other 1: dysfunction and clarification. General psychology of
communication.) Publisher: Rowohlt. Reinbeck near Hamburg.
Nachdenken über Kommunikation und Rheorik. 1.6 Die vier Seiten
einer Nachricht. (Reflecting of communication and rhetoric. 1.6 The
four sides of a message.) Found in: http://www.germanistik-
kommprojekt.uni-oldenburg.de/sites/1/1_06.html
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