Welcome to Fresh Off the Synapse! My weekly wrap up of my favorite jokes and commentary! Sometimes the jokes write themselves and when they don't I do. @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

1. February 1-7, 2014

2. Breaking News:
NJ Governor Chris Christie
knew about the lane closures on
the George Washington Bridge
and he was the second shooter in
the JFK assassination.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

3. A Los Angeles judge ruled that
Chris Brown should remain in
rehab … at least long enough to
welcome Justin Bieber
and show him the ropes.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

4. Bill Gates is stepping down
as the CEO of Microsoft.
Now he can buy an iPhone.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

5. Scientists say mammograms
every two years, instead of one,
will save money.
Save it for what?
More drugs to fight erectile
dysfunction?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

6. Four people were taken into
custody on drug charges as police
investigate the death of actor
Philip Seymour Hoffman. Any
leads on who shot Tupac?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

7. The Vatican defends itself against
a United Nations
child abuse report.
Is that the religious equivalent of
"See, what had happened was…"?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

8. The GI Joe action figure
(a doll for boys) turns 50.
Does that make him old enough
for Expendables 3?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

9. On Flights to the 2014 Olympics in Sochi:
Travelers report that banned
carry-on items are still getting
through Russian security:
toothpaste, lotion,
sexual orientation.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

10. Martin Luther King's children
are battling over selling his
Nobel Peace Prize medal.
Are they too lazy to earn their
own money by going on
Dancing with the Stars?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com