Negotiation is a continuing problem solving process. It’s getting people with both common and conflicting interest to come together to arrange or adjust their future relationship by making a joint decision.

1. Negotiating
A Practical and Principled Approach

2. What is Negotiation?
• Negotiation is a
continuing problem
solving process. It’s
getting people with
both common and
conflicting interest
to come together to
arrange or adjust
their future
relationship by
making a joint
decision.

3. Stereotype
• Tough
• Super skillful
• Secret techniques
• Ruthless
• Winner take all mindset

4. Value Add
• Successful
negotiations allow
for beneficial
exchanges and
agreements to be
made that give
added value to
relationships or
situations.

5. To be an effective
negotiator
• Develop and use
people skills.
• Effective
negotiation
involves 20%
Technical skills and
80% people skills.

6. Rapport
• Effective
negotiators learn
to build rapport
and trust
• They are able to
connect with
others.

8. Communication
• Listening
• Being Explicit, candid,
honest and
forthcoming.
• Understanding
• Repeat what you think
you heard and
understood.
• Get confirmation

9. Communication
• “The problem
with
communication is
the
illusion that it has
occurred.”
– George Bernard
Shaw

10. Close the Communication Gap

11. Empathy
• Understand that the
other person does
not really care how
the outcome of the
negotiation affects
you.
• The other person
only cares about
how it affects him or
her and their side.

12. Signaling
• Demeanor can get
you more than
substance.

13. Be Kind
• Be kind to people
and hard on
issues. Separate
people from the
problems and
solutions.
• There’s only one
rule I know of: you
have to be kind.
– Kurt Vonegut
• Ad Hominem

14. It is a Small World
• Negotiate with
integrity. Your
career will depend
on it.

15. Make Bridges
• Don’t burn bridges.
This is especially
true if there is a
chance you’ll be
negotiating with
this same person
or company again
in the future.

17. Process

18. Preparation Refocus
Before starting…
• craft a simple
statement you can
use to explain the
goal of the
negotiations.
Something you can
use over and over
during the
negotiations to
refocus the players.

19. Example
• Something like,
“My client is
interested in
buying the house
and your clients
are interested in
selling the house.
What can we do to
get this deal
done?”

20. What is your bottom line?
Before starting, know…
• your ultimate goal
• what you can waive or
modify
• what you can give away
without any issues.
• What is unacceptable

21. Alternatives
• Let us never negotiate
out of fear, but let us
never fear to negotiate.
– JFK
• BATNA: Best Alternative
to a Negotiated
Agreement.

22. Preparation
Dress and groom
yourself
appropriately. Be
on time, prepared
and remember the
6 ps:
prior preparation
prevents piss poor
performance!

23. Start
• Start your
negotiation with a
point on which you
both agree:
• Mutual benefit of a
successful
negotiation (both
want a resolution)
and
• Things or issues you
each have in
common.

24. Show interest
• Get Involved- Take
your time and
Take notes. The
other side will
appreciate you
taking the time to
write things down
(even if you really
don’t need to).

25. Emotional Distance
• Treat negotiations
like a game. Come
across as caring
about the
outcome, but not
that much.
• (We will talk about
applications of
Game Theory too.)

26. Don’t be Reactionary
• Deflect, reflect and
then select.
• Before responding,
learn how to take
time and let
something bounce
off you, reflect and
think about it, and
then select your
response.
• “Go to the balcony”

27. Empathy and Understanding
• Tap into the other
person’s belief
system. In all
negotiations there
are generally three
truths: your truth,
the other person’s
truth, and the
actual truth.

28. Listen
• Listen 70% of the
time and talk 30%
of the time.
• Two ears and one
mouth. 2 to 1
ratio. : )
• Acknowledge the
other person’s ego.

29. Authenticity
• Set the proper frame.
Smile and make a good
first impression. Be
honest and real.
• Don’t be cynical in
applying these
suggestions. You really
need to care about the
other party.

31. Keep talking
• Communicate with tact
and empathy.
• Keep the other side
talking. Ask open-ended
questions. “What do you
mean by that?”
• Maintain engagement
and de-escalate
• Be inquisitive: you are
searching for information
and common ground

33. Reflect on this
• Two of the best
negotiators are
dogs and babies.
– Relentless
– Sustained
– Persistent
– Constant

34. SWOT
• Understand your
strengths and
weaknesses and
also the other
side’s strengths
and weaknesses.
• Also evaluate
Opportunities and
Threats

37. Sell
• Share you position
via story telling.
• Remember: facts
tell but stories
sell.

38. Options and Alternatives
• Don’t fall in to the
trap of the
either/or
dichotomy. It’s
never only A or B.
There’s always C,
D and E.
• Open it up and be
creative, don’t
think binary.

39. Relationships and Outcomes

40. Eye to Eye
• Negotiate in person
when possible. Over
the phone is OK. In
most instances,
Avoid negotiating by
email.
• 70% of all
communication
comes from body
language,
expressions and eye
contact.

41. Avoid getting Boxed In
• On major issues,
never negotiate for
yourself. Use a
third party.
• Do not include
person with
authority directly in
the negotiations.
Keep option open,
“I need to run that
by my partner…”

42. Authority to make a Decision
• along the same
lines, do not agree
to negotiate with
the other person
unless he or she
has full authority.

43. Acknowledge, Empathize, Redirect
• Never tell the other
side they are
wrong. Instead
use this, “I know
how you feel. I
use to feel the
same way. But
then I found out
about AAA and
now I feel BBB.”

44. Create a sense of Urgency
• When making
offers, use time
sensitive deadlines
and mean it.
• Credibility not
threats.

45. Strategic Respect
• Always leave a
“back door” or
“exit strategy” for
the other person.
Allow him or her to
save face and
avoid
embarrassment
(especially in front
of a client).

46. Close the Deal
• When the time is
right, never be
afraid to Close the
deal. Ask for the
sale or ultimate
desired outcome.
• Prepare documents
and contracts ASAP

47. Signed, Sealed, Delivered
• Avoid buyer
remorse.
• If documents are
necessary, have
them ready to go
and don’t leave
until they are
signed and all
terms are properly
confirmed.

48. Success
• Both parties relatively
satisfied.
• Leave some on the
table.
• Don’t crush the other
side. You may need
information or a follow
on favor.

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