I was asked by my colleagues at Ayogo to help them to improve their networking skills. Curiosity is the foundation for genuine interaction and engagement. Yet my co-workers - who were tremendously curious people - worried they were inadequately equipped to network. Some felt networking was some magical, mysterious skill outside of their ability. This deck was originally developed to reassure them that they have what it takes to confidently participate in a professional engagement or event. This slide deck was part of a Lunch and Learn event I held for my coworkers. I would like to thank my fellow Ayogis for being the kindest, most enthusiastic, most interesting people one can work with.

1. Be Curious
& Generous
How to be a Successful Networker
Mrmen.com

2. Acknowledgements
I was asked by my colleagues at Ayogo to help them to improve their
networking skills.
Curiosity is the foundation for genuine interaction and engagement. Yet my
co-workers - who were tremendously curious people - worried they were
inadequately equipped to network. Some felt networking was some
magical, mysterious skill outside of their ability.
This deck was originally developed to reassure them that they have what it
takes to confidently participate in a professional engagement or event. This
slide deck was part of a Lunch and Learn event I held for my coworkers.
I would like to thank my fellow Ayogis for being the kindest, most
enthusiastic, most interesting people one can work with.

3. Yeah, I’m a little nosy

4. Be Curious
You can make more friends in two months by
becoming interested in other people than you can
in two years by trying to get other people
interested in you.
Dale Carnegie
● Ask Open Ended Questions
● “Tell me more.”
● Use reflective comments (paraphrase back what you’ve heard)

5. You have a great mind
Look to Eleanor Roosevelt, not to
Alice Roosevelt:
Eleanor: “Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events; small
minds discuss people.

6. Bad Gossip vs Taking the Pulse
● “Not my story tell”
● Good gossip intrigues, speeds up communication and gives social
status, but is not divisive, no “them”, is complimentary or pro-person
● Spread Good Rumours (“I heard Ayogo is hiring.”)
● Asking questions in small groups or individually is taking the pulse. If
it’s a candid conversation, still think of how you would feel if the
news landed elsewhere
● Inside knowledge is powerful, desirable and has currency
● If you are asking and intend to share the answer- be transparent

7. A cheat to get started: one’s name
is important!
1. When you are being introduced to anyone, concentrate on getting the
name right. Think of only one thing: the name.
2. If you do not hear the name clearly, say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get your
name. Will you please repeat it?”
3. Observe their face for distinguishing features.
4. Repeat their name right away! 3 times in 2 sentences is OK. It seems
over-the-top but you’ll remember it.
○ So, <Name> What drew you to <this event>?
5. Compliments are OK and memorable for you both but avoid
commenting on physical characteristics
Dale Carnegie’s advice is going strong 80 years later.

8. When “networking” gets real:
Generosity
● Be thankful
● Give without expectation - your time, and expertise - within limits
● But be specific: Yes, I can email you that. Yes I have 30 minutes for
coffee. Yes I can introduce you to a couple of people.
● Reframe goals: Rising Tide Lifts All Boats
● Pay it forward
● Build Referent Power

9. Networking builds Referent Power
There are several types of power.
Formal Power (comes with position or role)
● Coercive - fear & punishment
● Reward - bonus & incent, promote
● Legitimate - position to make demands
Personal (built by individual
● Expert - knowledge
● Referent - trust & charisma
What we’ve been talking about in this presentation is how to build
Referent Power

10. Be Authentic
Being a “Try Hard”, for fake
People Pleaser is a turn off.
What are you apologizing for?
Twelve Ways to Say I’m sorry
Let your quirks show
If you say “That’s so
interesting!” you better
genuinely care.
Images: Paul Ekman
Paul Ekman: In a fake smile, only the zygomatic major muscle, which runs from the cheekbone to the corner of the lips, moves. In a real smile,
the eyebrows and the skin between the upper eyelid and the eyebrow come down very slightly. The muscle involved is the orbicularis oculi,
pars lateralis.
NY Times: Can regular people learn to get better at telling real expressions from fake ones?
Ekman. Much to my surprise, people can learn to do this in under an hour. I have developed a CD which teaches people to do this quickly. I
thought it would take a lot longer.
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/08/05/health/conversation-with-paul-ekman-43-facial-muscles-that-reveal-even-most-fleeting.html

11. Now remember...

12. Read more
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/arti
cle/what-goes-engaged-brain-emoti
on-mavis-dixon/edit
http://info.ayogo.com/ayogo-whitep
aper-02

13. Thank you!
Mavis Dixon
ayogo.com