1. Hotel Karl Residency
26 Sep 2014

2. “The single biggest problem in
communication is the illusion
that it has taken place”
George Bernard Shaw

3.  Be Able to Define What a Critical Conversation is.
 Know Your Style Under Stress
 Have a Basic Understanding of the Critical
Conversations process
 Understand how well- handled Critical Conversations
enhance personal productivity and productivity at the
workplace

4.  Research has revealed that most
organizations are losing between 20 and 80
percent of their potential performers
because of leaders’ and employees’ inability
to master critical conversations
Poorly handled critical conversations have
resulted in:
 Sapping of organizational performance by 20
to 50 percent
 Accounted for up to 90 percent of divorces.

5. Shuttle Columbia Crew

8. Opposing
opinions
Critical
Conversations
Strong
Emotions
Critical
Conversations
High Stakes

9.  Ending a relationship
 Talking with a coworker who behaves
offensively
 Asking a friend to repay dues
 Giving a boss feedback about his behaviour
 Dealing with a rebellious teen
 Talking to a team member who is not keeping
commitments
 Discussing problems related to intimacy

11.  Missed deadlines
 Broken rules
 Failed promises
 Bad behaviours
 Breach of contracts
 Not walking the talk

12.  Permanent resolutions to failed promises and
missed deadlines
 Transform broken rules and bad behaviours
into productivity and accountability
 Strengthen relationships
 Solve problems

13.  Avoid
 Face them- handle them well
 Face them- handle them poorly

14. Silently?

15.  Dropping hints?
 Changing subject?
 Not replying?
Withdrawing from the interaction?
 Just going along
 Sugarcoat
 Sulk

16.  Fact free planning
 AWOL sponsors
 Project chicken
 Skirting the issue
 Team failure

17. Or--
Violently?

18.  Cutting people off?
 Overstating arguments?
 Attack ideas?
 Harsh debate tactics?
 Insults and threats?
 personal attacks?

20. Spot the conversations
that are keeping you stuck

24.  Before- identify the right problem and take
charge of your emotions
 During- describe the problem, decide if it is
motivation/ ability/ both make it easy and
motivating, stay on track
 After- decide if the problem is resolved, set
action plans, follow up

25.  If the problem is small
 If the problem wont happen again
 If the problem does not have a significant
impact
 If no one else cares one way or the other

26.  If by not talking about it you will act about it
 You have a pattern of going into silence
 You are telling yourself you are helpless
 You are struggling with your conscience
 You deeply care about it

27. “Its not how you play
the game- its how the
game plays you”

28. Manage yourself
Focus on what you really
want
Refuse the fools choice

29.  Look for signs when the conversation is going
to turn crucial
 Body language
 Tone
 Expressions
 Style under stress

30.  Apologies
 Contrast
 Mutual purpose

31.  The stories we tell ourselves about others
are critical
We are a narrative people
 Knowing our stories keeps our hearts and
minds in control
 Avoid fundamental attribution error
 Analyse your stories
 Identify your role in the problem/solution

32.  Speak persuasively not abrasively
 Start with safety
 Ask for facts
 Avoid emotional or sensitive words
 Share your story
 End with a question- “what exactly
happened?”

33.  Make things motivating-motivation=
productive energy
 Avoid use of power unless unavoidable
 Clarify natural consequences
 Link to a persons sense of self
 Show a mirror
 Connect to existing carrots and sticks
 focus on long term benefits

34.  Who
 What
 When
 Follow up( on the precise issue)

35. What about the more
difficult cases??

36. “Our lives begin to end the day
we are silent about things
that matter”
Martin Luther King Jr