Skills and partnership direction

LIMITLESS POTENTIAL | LIMITLESS OPPORTUNITIES | LIMITLESS IMPACT
USING YOUR SKILLS
Leveraging a mentoring partnership is a skill in itself.
To make the most of the opportunity in front of you, you should master the essential skills that
come in to play in a mentoring relationship.
These are:
• Listening.
• Asking open questions
• Receiving feedback
• Being flexible
• Maintaining your commitment
• Accepting other points of view 2

THE SKILLS OF MENTORING
LISTENING
As a mentee we expect you will spend some time listening and taking in information. That
being said, you aren’t expected to listen in the same way that you would whilst a professor is
delivering a lecture. The dynamics of your partnership will be different to this set up.
• Active listening involves good use of eye contact, affirming gestures and expressions to
communicate that you are engaged in the topic.
• In most meetings we assume that you will be leading conversation and your mentor listening.
• You may be keen to ask questions but do so in a considered way, not to steer conversation
away from the current topic. You can save up questions and ask them at the end to avoid this.
• Make notes if you find this useful and summarise what they are saying back to them to make
sure that you have a good understanding of their points.
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SCENARIO
LISTENING
During a meeting with your mentor you have begun brainstorming your objectives.
As your mentor begins to relay what you have been discussing they start using technical language
which is alien to you. Although you can’t be sure, you suspect that their advice is deviating from
your objectives.
Your mentor continues to talk at length and offers suggestions that aren’t very relevant to your
goals. You want to bring the conversation back on track to make the most of the time you have
together.
How do you approach this situation (considering your listening skills)
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SCENARIO ANSWER
LISTENING
Take notes throughout your meeting to ensure you can revisit points for clarification.
From your notes, relay what you have understood your mentor to say – this gives them the
opportunity to affirm that you are correct or give more detail if you have misunderstood.
If you are uncertain – ask for clarification using paraphrasing.
Stay open minded whilst listening to your mentor (even if you suspect your conversation has
deviated) and consider their opinion closely before dismissing it.
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ASKING OPEN QUESTIONS
This applies to both you and your mentor. Quality conversations always involve open questions.
Sometimes closed questions are necessary too, but be careful not overuse these and cut a
conversation short.
• Use open questions to start a conversation e.g. ‘What about your job motivates you?’ Rather than
‘Do you enjoy your job?’.
• Once you have asked an open question give your mentor time to answer it. Jot down follow-up
questions and ask these once your initial question has been fully answered.
• When answering open questions take some time to mentally prepare your answer. Taking your
time will lead to much richer conversations.
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SCENARIO
You are getting to know your mentor and they have been asking you many questions about
yourself, your ambitions and your objectives for the duration of the partnership.
As you are still establishing your relationship so can’t yet tell the level of detail you should be
providing in your answers. Your answers feel short and you know the conversation is floundering
slightly.
What can you do?
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SCENARIO ANSWER
Turn your answers in to questions and ask your mentor open questions. By doing this they will
provide the level of detail that they see as suitable and you can mirror their approach.
Example
Mentor: You say that you’re interested in international development, can you tell me about the
kinds of work you’d like to pursue?
Mentee: I’m not entirely sure yet… What motivated you to pursue sustainability?
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RECEIVING FEEDBACK
Being open to feedback can be difficult. Understanding your relationship with your mentor before
receiving their feedback can help you to understand their position when offering it.
• Don’t take it personally. Their job as a mentor is to challenge you and help you grow.
• Take it in slowly and reflect. Don’t jump into a defensive position if you hear something you don’t like.
• Consider the context in which you receive feedback. If delivered at a time where you aren’t mentally
prepared to receive it, it may not be beneficial.
• Consider what you will do with the feedback you receive e.g. document it/ build on it etc.
• If you don’t find a particular form of feedback useful – tell your mentor and suggest an alternative
method which suits you
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SCENARIO
RECEIVING FEEDBACK
You have been consulting on a project with a local employer alongside your degree and have put a
proposal together which illustrates how you will support them for the next 6 months. You have
given this proposal to your mentor to get their feedback.
Your mentor begins to give you feedback at your meeting but you disagree with a number of their
points. You feel frustrated as you have put a lot of effort in to your proposal and their feedback is
not helpful.
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SCENARIO ANSWER
RECEIVING FEEDBACK
• Receiving feedback is never easy. Firstly, always make sure that you are in the right frame of
mind to receive feedback. If you aren’t, consider shifting your agenda around or taking some
time to prepare yourself to receive your mentor’s comments.
• If you disagree with your mentor’s feedback be sure to give them enough time to finish their
point and ask subsequently for clarification to expand on their point of view. Questions around
why they hold their opinion, what has happened for them hold that opinion and how they
formed that opinion will give you context. Be careful not to sound defensive when seeking
clarification.
• Stay open minded whilst receiving the feedback and take time away from the meeting to reflect
on the comments before dismissing them as valid.
• If you feel comfortable doing so, respectfully give your perspective and ask for further feedback
– this could turn in to a productive debate.
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FLEXIBILITY
In the working world it is generally advantageous to be flexible. This may include trying new ways of
working with your mentor, finding times to get together and communicating in a mutually convenient
way.
• Push yourself and test out ideas that you may have shied away from previously. Use the partnership
to your advantage.
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SCENARIO
FLEXIBILITY
Your mentor has a very international role and has been attending a number of consortiums over
the last 6 weeks. During this period your partnership has suffered and you haven’t heard from
them. Prior to this 6 weeks you were in frequent contact.
You were the last person to get in touch and have not had a response from your mentor.
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SCENARIO ANSWER
FLEXIBILITY
• Try and contact your mentor once again. A good tip is to ‘forward’ on your previous email and
refer to it in your correspondence, reiterating some of the message as a reminder to your
mentor.
• Be understanding of the demands on your mentor’s time, if they have told you about the
upcoming busy period it is likely that this has taken over their time for now. Try to be patient.
• Suggest alternative meeting methods: if you normally skype, suggest a 10 minute phone call to
bridge the gap in your communication and gain insight as to when the partnership could pick
back up again.
• If the situation continues and your partnership is not developing contact the mentoring team
who can investigate further.
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Skills and partnership direction

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