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Smile
1. Smile
Pedro, nuts about soccer, was watching the live action of a match between
Chelsea and Manchester United. The match was so attention grabbing that he could
not keep his eyes focused on anything else even for a second. The match came
down to the wire, with Manchester United winning on penalties. Before Pedro
could finish watching the Manchester United team’s boisterous celebrations, it was
well past midnight. He rushed to bed, knowing full well that he had to get up early
(5:00 a.m., at the crack of dawn). That did not happen. Instead, he woke up at 9:30
a.m., got dressed at breakneck speed, had a quick bite to eat, and made a dash to
the office (with an unintended half-shaved mustache). Once he got there, a bunch
of staff people started laughing at him hysterically. Pedro, on realizing his pratfall,
decided to quickly take charge of the situation. He rushed to the nearby barber
shop and got his shave completed. He felt relieved and at ease with himself.
Regrouping and with a sheepish smile, he asked his coworkers in a lighter vein,
“Folks, you all enjoyed this hilarious incident this morning, didn’t you?” The
entire staff said in unison, “Yes, we were in stitches over your ‘comedy of error.’ It
was really a funny sight for all of us. Thank you for providing such a great
spectacle.”
“A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.” - Charles Gordy
The above one-liner remains a pearl of wisdom even today.
A large number of people undervalue the significance of a smile—that
simple, little facial expression typified by an upward curving of the corners of the
mouth. It is part of a universal body language that does not require any additional
interpretation. You do not need to learn to smile. It is a preprogrammed behavior.
A smile is free of charge; nevertheless, it is invaluable. A smile takes care of your
physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual health. There is solid, compelling
evidence that it takes fewer muscles to smile and more muscles to frown. Smiling
can have a positive meaning, which can be as simple as a “Hi” on first meeting
someone. Give smiles away regularly, genuinely, and attractively. It will make a
world of difference to both the giver and the recipient. Become a proponent of
smile.
Technology has been a shot in the arm for conveying a smile. If you have a
website, you can put a friendly tone into your web content. You can pass on a
smile in your emails. People can read smiles in words, capturing an affable tone
2. merely through careful phrasing or the right style. Smiley stickers or emoticons
give us more freedom to transmit our smile.
Steel baron Andrew Carnegie knew that to reach the top of the food chain in
the business world, a smile was mandatory. Moving forward with this idea,
Carnegie found the smile personified in Charles Schwab, whom he named for the
position of marketing executive. In a way, Schwab became the business sidekick of
Carnegie. Schwab, known for his charm and ability to make people like him,
helped Carnegie to earn his billions. And by assisting Carnegie, Schwab himself
got drenched in money. Message: Never discount the pleasure-inducing power of a
smile. Make a huge fortune out of your smile.
Fake it till you make it
Let us say that you are in no mood to smile. What should you do? Coerce
yourself into smiling. If you are alone, think of a past funny incident or hum a tune
(I sometimes sing to myself as I work). Pretend that you are already happy, and
that will tend to make you happy. This is how William James puts it:
“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together;
and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we
can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”
On the “Oprah” show, actor Anthony Hopkins said, “I have experienced
short spells of negative emotions, alien to my temperament. The kinds of roles
(jarring experiences) are to be partially blamed for this. When I get into the skin of
the character and enact it, my body isn’t aware that I am ‘acting.’ Here lies the
problem. Fortunately or unfortunately, I frequently get a chance to work with a
particular director whose tendency is to take a lot of retakes. In a movie we did
together, my character was scripted to have a cardiac arrest. Knowing the mentality
of the director, I told him to capture the scene in one or two takes. I knew that as I
convincingly acted out a cardiac arrest, my risk of actually having one stoked with
every take.”
A smile makes a mega difference in job interviews
Many job candidates fail to make a good first impression in interviews as they do
not flash a pleasant smile. This makes them appear less likable and unconfident. A
3. smile is regarded as the most preferred quality in a candidate’s appearance (by job
interviewers), ahead of sharp attire or groomed hair. A somber face surely throws a
wrench in the works of your job prospects. Example: For the job of sales clerk at a
mammoth Los Angeles department store, a person who had not finished high
school was preferred over a man with a Ph.D. because of the former’s enchanting
smile compared to the latter’s wooden expression during the interview.
What makes a gleaming smile?
Once Rodrigo went to a car accessories store to buy a big-ticket item like a stereo
for his car. He was greeted by a tall girl with long pigtails, wearing a small gold
crucifix around her neck. She had one upper front tooth that was obviously a
fake—a large, dark tooth that stuck out. It was extremely distracting, and Rodrigo
could not concentrate on what she was saying. Hence, he asked her to show him
the catalogs of different stereos, which she did, and after nearly an hour of looking
at them, he finally zeroed-in on one particular product and bought it. Before
leaving, he requested her to visit a dentist, and she gracefully accepted his advice.
A recent study has found that teeth are the number one facial feature that
people would like to change in themselves. This is hardly a surprise, as numerous
people these days are taking pains to get their teeth fixed, bleached or whitened,
and capped for a beautiful smile.
Excellent smiles have the following common features:
(1) The gum line is smooth and even.
(2) The teeth are evenly spaced with no gaps.
(3) The teeth are white and smooth.
(4) The teeth are straight.
An American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry survey found the following:
(1) More than ninety-two percent of people regard a beautiful smile as “the”
thing for fostering companionship.
4. (2) Eighty-eight percent of people agree that they feel great about a person who
is wearing a smile.
(3) Eighty-five percent of people subscribe to the notion that an unattractive
smile reduces their “oomph.”
(4) Seventy-four percent of people believe that an unattractive smile ruins their
career opportunities.
Strikingly,
A mere fifty percent of Americans are pleased with their smile.
Exercise that explains the impact of a smile and a scowl on your mind and body
First, chill out, for example, by lolling on a nice upholstered sofa (without a bit
of tension in your mind).
Next, scowl by involving all your emotional energy and its purgatory (the feeling
of tension in your body).
Switch between smiling and scowling. Continue this cycle a few times and feel the
contrasting sensations in your body.
Smile again. Increase the smile until your face becomes crumpled with laughter.
Laugh out loud, allowing your body to laugh too.
Write down about your positive feelings.
A waiter who made a difference with a smile as wide as a rainbow
Donte, along with his clan, went to a Beverly Hills restaurant. They were eating à
la carte, when Donte noticed a clean-cut, rangy waiter. The waiter was full of
energy and enthusiasm. He was treating the customers like royalty. Curious as to
what gave him such a “kick” out of his work, Donte called the waiter over and
spoke with him. The waiter made no bones about his conscious decision to “put on
a happy face.” His smile was the chief aspect of his personality. Everybody was
impressed by his demeanor.
5. Real smile vs. fake smile
The beauty of a real smile is that it creates a positive impression in the minds of
people. A real smile makes your eyes gleam with joy and intimacy. The
unconscious part of the brain causes a real smile to spread on your face. On the
contrary, the conscious part of the brain engenders a fake smile. A fake smile is
shallow, and its falseness is easily noticed. It is like a fake currency note that has a
glaring, pretentious appearance.
Try this out: Flip through the pages of a magazine and observe the
photographs of various smiling faces. Spot the smiles that are absolutely genuine.
Are these people smiling from within, demonstrating good feelings and emotions,
or just faking it by moving their facial muscles? Then, stand in front of a mirror
and smile. Notice that you are smiling from within. Your expression is brought on
by the emotions that you feel and not by a decision to merely turn up the corners of
your mouth.
A smile (of a child or a celebrity) gives greater stimulation than sex,
chocolate, shopping, cigarettes, coffee, or drugs. Personally speaking, I like the
smile of a baby because it is always endearing. It is a pleasure for me to behold. To
push this point a little further, my computer’s 200 GB hard drive is crammed with
snapshots of babies.
I do not see any reason why you should not be smiling on a regular basis.
Take a look at the reasons why you should do this:
(1) Smiling is advantageous to the cardiovascular, muscular, immune, and
respiratory systems.
(2) Smiling contributes immeasurably to staying positive in life.
(3) Smiling perks up brain functioning.
(4) Smiling is a great relationship-building tool.
(5) Smiling gives a good feeling to others.
(6) Smiling reduces pain and stress.
6. Image makeover is not a replacement for a winsome smile
Braeden has spent a bushel of money on cosmetics, fancy hairdos, snazzy
outfits, and body improvement procedures to look über-handsome. But this
well-intended action has only ended up as a cry in the wilderness. He is
basically a grouch. He finds it acutely difficult to give a radiant smile. People
even call him “a mannequin” because of his deadpan expression.
Smiling is a handy tool for:
(1) Cheerfulness
(2) Sociability
(3) Cordiality
(4) Attachment
Dr. Charles Garfield, in his book Peak Performance, reported on his work
with the Russian Olympic weightlifting team. Garfield noticed that when
team members lifted to the point of exhaustion, they would often scowl at this
agonizing endeavor. In an experiment, he urged the athletes to smile when
they reached the stage of exhaustion. This seemingly minute difference made
them add 2–3 extra reps to their performance.
Let us face it: When you do not nip your frown in the bud, your body
produces stress hormones like cortisol, adrenalin, and epinephrine. The
proliferation of stress levels makes you melt in crisis situations. Your life
turns dreadful. At the other end of the spectrum, smiling causes the brain to
synthesize health-enhancing hormones like endorphins and neurotransmitters
that make your spirits rise. You become full of zest for life and establish a
feel-good factor for yourself.
Kade has been a successful medical practitioner for the last thirty years. He
has mastered many skills in his profession except for one: He does not know to
write a prescription-strength joke for his patients. He does not know the brand of
tonic that will benefit his patients by making them smile. He does not know the
“magic pill” for a free-flowing smile.
7. The alpha and omega of the above discussion is: A smile is an individualized,
self-produced thing.
I do not always carry my wallet with me. I do not wear a watch all the time. I
carry my cell phone on certain occasions. I do not go to the gym daily. I do not go
through my mail routinely… but I carry my smile everywhere, all the time.
A lesson from my 5-year-old cousin
I have a 5-year-old cousin who is always coloring and playing with an 11-week-old
poodle puppy. Sometimes, she reproaches me, yet recently, I bought some stuffed
toys for her. What makes my cousin dear to my heart? I have thought about it a
zillion times. Is it “sisterly intimacy?” Irrespective of the number of times her
weeping has interrupted me while I was regaling my friends with my stories, trying
to reach a top shelf (for a Hillerich and Bradsby baseball bat) using a stepladder,
keeping love notes in a box on the dresser, or listening to a radio program of a
British ventriloquist, I still find myself, on occasions, forgetting about the
disruption almost immediately after she gives me a dazzling smile.
I took a page from my cousin’s book on giving eye-catching smiles and
spreading the sunshine around. Without a doubt, I want to look attractive with a
smiling face. As someone rightly said: “Your smile is the rose of your personality,
its fragrance is the balm that obliterates the thorns.”
Sense of humor
A sense of humor is a person’s ability to view life from a humorous angle rather
than to be stuck in what is going on. People with a sense of humor do not feel the
heat from the situations in life. They enjoy every moment and participate in its
goings-on with vim and vigor. Humor helps integrate both hemispheres of our
brain, for the left hemisphere is used to read the verbal content of a joke while the
right hemisphere interprets whether it is comical. Remember, a person without a
sense of humor is like a car without shock absorbers.
In the United States (mightier than any other imperial power in history), some
hospitals are hiring “humor nurses.” The job of these nurses is to make patients
laugh (in regard to the United States, it is the most litigious society in the world).
8. Here is a bon mot from Thomas W. Higginson: “There is no defense against
adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.” Good one!
Use humor to improve your life:
(1) Watch a lot of side-splitting movies.
(2) Enjoy the mad, strange activities of comedians like Dave Allen, Dane
Cook, David Feldman, Neil Mullarkey, and Don Rickles.
(3) Form a group with humorous and fun-loving people.
(4) Revel in healthful humor. Say “No” to hurtful humor, such as
sarcasm, put-downs, ethnic jokes, and “anti jokes” (anti-men, -
women, -religious groups, -nationalities, -ethnicity, etc.).
(5) Increase your exposure to jokes and funny anecdotes.
(6) Engage in self-deprecating humor. This reminds me of Allen Klein,
who used a funny line about himself, stating, “Because of my lack of
hair, I tell people that I am a former expert on how to cure baldness.”
(7) Develop a “comic element” in your day-to-day verbal
communication.
With a few exceptions, the smile has lost its significance in modern man’s life.
It has become somewhat passé. For this reason, maximum importance has been
placed on the need to smile. The demand is growing more than ever before. So
start your day by wearing a big smile on your face. That will set the tone for the
rest of your day. A smile is a reflection of personal confidence, self-esteem, and
good health. By any stretch of imagination, smiling is worth the effort. Make a
conscious effort to smile—when you meet someone or when you are having a
telephonic conversation. A smiling face is liked by one and all. Princess Diana was
a paragon of this virtue.