1. 000000 www.femalemag.com.my www.femalemag.com.my
It has nothing to do with coitus (okay, maybe a little) or faeces.
RachelLaw figures it’s time to end the ‘shhh’ in sexism. And it’s not
just because you have a vagina!
PHOTOGRAPHYCORBISANDTPGNEWS/CLICKPHOTOS
feature
FAQ: Sexism is a prejudice or discrimination based on sex,
and includes behaviour, conditions or attitudes that foster
stereotypes of social roles based on sex. Homophobia (a strong
dislike and fear of homosexuals) is a form of sexism too.
hen I found out that
my ex-husband was
cheating, his father
told me to be patient
and look pretty. He
sort of suggested that men naturally go
for hotter women,” recalls Naomi*,
a journalist.
I had earlier asked for personal
accounts from people who have
experienced sexist treatment, and Naomi
had put it bluntly, “Here in Thailand,
I can’t even count.” She went on to
illustrate her “sexist Chinese upbringing”
where she was expected to do the
housework while her brother never had
to lift a finger. Her mum wasn’t allowed
to visit the grave of Naomi’s grandfather
because they said a married woman has
no business visiting her own relatives.
“My father was extremely mad when
he found out she went to my grandpa’s
grave,” the 30 year old shares.
Naomi’s anecdote reminds me of my
own mother’s ‘second class’ treatment in
her ex-husband’s house. Both my mother
and Amelia*, my father’s sister, were
pregnant at the same time and to nourish
their bodies, the elders had prepared
a pot of soup. Because Amelia was to
deliver a boy, she got to drink the soup
and consume its ingredients – because
duh, there’s where the nutrients lie –
while my mum was lucky to lap up the
rest of the liquid.
The double standard was of no
surprise. My mother said my father’s
family believed higher education for
women was a waste of time for girls
are going to marry anyway. Darn it,
you mean I could be toting a Hermés
in one hand and a baby in another
right now – why did I slave four years
away in university writing 2,000-word
assignments on media literacy?!
I digress. Blessed are you who did
not have to bear first-hand primitive
ideologies such as these in your home.
But then again, you can’t help but
wonder what kind of unfortunate
upbringing some of our politicians
had with the kind of things they have
blurted out in the parliament (looking
at you Datuk Ibrahim Ali and Datuk
Bung Mokhtar Radin). Not to mention,
it is particularly aggravating that some
of these sexist comments came from
female policymakers. Last July, Member
of Parliament Siti Zailah Mohd Yusoff
proposed that the government enact
laws to prevent women from wearing
“indecent clothing” to prevent sexual
crimes. Hmmm, real progressive, sister!
IT’S A MAN’S MAN’S
MAN’S WORLD
And it has been that way as the James
Brown song would tell us. In war,
commerce and politics, men dominated
the spaces we see and history is depicted
through a lens that was determined well,
by men. “So for a woman to be accepted
as a leader back then, she would
have to exhibit traits that have been
masculinised or possess characteristics,
which men have defined as that of a
leader. There was already
prejudice towards
women from the start,”
notes Pang Khee Teik, a
Master’s Degree graduate
in Gender, Sexuality
and Culture from the
University of London.
This omnipresent
prejudice explains why
sexism is so normalised
we don’t recognise it when it happens
today, just as Siti Zailah probably never
thought her words did harm to fellow
women. “At the end of the day, we live in
a patriarchal or male-dominated world.
Even girls are saying, ‘Come on lah,
relax, it’s just a joke’. This attitude – that
women are sexual objects, that we can
make fun of women’s body parts and
their roles – is because they are ingrained
in the way we are brought up,” says Ivy
Josiah, Executive Director of Women’s
Aid Organisation (WAO).
In2011,PerkasachiefIbrahimAlisaidthehigh
occurrenceofextramaritalaffairsisthefault
of“wiveswhoneglecttheirresponsibilities”to
theirhusbandswhileKinabatanganMPBung
MokhtarRadincausedanuproarin2007when
hesaid,“Whereistheleak?TheBatuGajahMP
alsoleakseverymonth,”inreferencetofemale
politicianFongPoKuan.
“THAT’SSEXIST!”
“When women say all men
are the same.” – Enrique Tan,
Marketing Executive
“The way the waiter
hands the guy the
bill at the end of
the date.” – Tiffany
Leong, Screen and
Cultural Studies/Media and
Communications graduate
“How a woman would be
scorned for putting on weight
while men with flab get away
with being errr… cuddly?!”
– Yenmun Lee, journalist
“Walking down a street
in broad daylight when
I was 16 and some man
saying, ‘Why don’t you wrap
your legs around me?”
– Raihan A, student
“In a National Service
class, a particular
girl demanded that
girls be treated and
viewed equally as guys,
and not as the weaker gender.
After class was dismissed,
this very same girl insisted
I be more gentlemanly and
help her stack her chair away
because she was too lazy to do
so.” – David Woon, emcee
“At the end of a
church camp, we
were divided by
gender and the guys
got to go hiking to a
waterfall. Girls were to stay
inside, eat ice cream and talk
about how to be a ‘proper’
woman. I told them flat out
that it was sexist.” – Cristina
Morales, writer
The S word
W

2. 000000 www.femalemag.com.my www.femalemag.com.my
big breasts and butt, flat tummy, etc.)
and a legion of products to correct a
segment of your body, which you never
recognised as ‘imperfect’ to begin with,
the ultimate goal (many times) seems to
be men’s satisfaction.
“Popular culture is very guilty of
promoting sexism and reinforcing
stereotypes of women as only good as sex
objects. Almost every other music video
dehumanises women. They play on our
fears and insecurities to sell a product.
They say you’re never good enough, so
whenever you look at a
photograph, you’ll see flab
and flaws but never the
beautiful eyes or smile,” Ivy
elaborates.
Not every player
in popular culture is
antagonistic (at least not deliberately),
of course; the message that is sent out
is essentially for you to judge. “On
one level, these media talk about how
you can be more fit and healthy. So
do they conform their bodies to an
image determined for them by men, to
be more doll-like, more domesticated,
more desirable? And to what ends are
men asked to be fit? To be more primal,
warrior-like, masculine? These two ways
of marketing health regimes to different
sexes can be sexist unless they are about
SEX SELLS!
Pop culture, the media and even the
fashion and cosmetics industries – yes,
I said it – are contributing no less to a
patriarchal system than the business of
pornography and the sex work industry.
If you really think about it, part if not
most of these industries aim to visually
or physically please men. From overtly-
sexualised images of women in music
videos and perfume advertisements to
women’s obsession to look ‘perfect’ (e.g.
They play on our fears and
insecurities to sell a product.
– Ivy Josiah
health and the care of self,” notes
Khee Teik, also co-founder of sexuality
rights festival Seksualiti Merdeka. The
key is reading between the lines while
checking the motivation.
WHERE DO WE GO
FROM HERE?
At this point, I too am wondering at the
chances of fighting sexism when highly-
influential female pop icons such as
Beyoncé, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus
are choosing to portray themselves in
sexually-demeaning fashion. “They
can say they have the right to be
doing what they’re doing because it
empowers them and we cannot tell
them what to do. But we need to have
an on-going conversation with our
peers and children to say a woman is
not just breasts and butts, and consider
whether the message you’re getting is
about freedom of expression or that’s
what women are good for,” says Ivy.
Cultivating the habit of denouncing
sexism is vital, and it’s not just about
speaking up. Khee Teik suggests
creating conversations, starting with
‘Why do you say that?’ “Talking is a
way of reflecting. Explain why you’re
uncomfortable then they would
appreciate there’s a range of responses.
This way, you’re seeking a way forward
rather than shutting out the space,”
he adds. Take note that there is also a
difference between calling someone a
sexist and describing his language or
behaviour as sexist. “We need to tackle
sexism as behaviour and it doesn’t
necessarily make you a whole person,”
Ivy adds.
Sexism doesn’t go one way, and any
woman who claims to be a feminist
can be a sexist herself if she expects
gender-stereotype roles from men.
feature
“Saying‘skinnyisugly’should
benomoreacceptablethan
sayingfatis.Wecouldbe
gettingangryaboutunequal
payandopportunitiesbut
we’retoobusybeingtold
we’renotthinenoughor
curvyenough.”
– Robyn Lawley
“Howcomeyou(Robert
DowneyJr.)getthereally
interestingexistential
questionandIgetthe
‘rabbitfood’question?”
– Scarlett Johansson,
afterbeingaskedabout
herdietinorderto“get
intoshapeforBlack
Widow”ataTheAvengers
pressconference.
“ShowssuchasFashion
Policearejustshowing
generationsofyoungpeople
tojudgepeoplebased
onallthethingsthat
arewrong,andthat
it’sokaytojustpointat
peopleandcallthem
uglyorfat.That’s
goingtokeep
beingthereal
worldifwekeep
itthatway–with
theseunrealistic
expectationsfor
women.”
– Jennifer
Lawrence
“Iwanteveryversionofawomanand
mantobepossible.Iwantwomenand
mentobeabletobefull-timeparents
orfull-timeworkingpeopleorany
combinationofthetwo.I
wantbothtobeableto
dowhatevertheywant
sexuallywithoutbeing
callednames.Iwantthem
tobeallowedtobeweak
andstrong,andhappyand
sad–human,basically.
Amovieabouta
weak,vulnerable
womancanbe
feministifitshowsa
realpersonwecan
empathisewith.”
– Natalie
Portman
“Thepressureweputon
womentobeeitherthinneror
fatter,ortohavebiggerbreasts
orsmallerbreasts,isdisgusting.
It’samazingin2012thatthat
levelofmisogynyoverwomen
isstillthere.”
– Keira Knightly
“Sometimes it makes sense that a
woman may make more money and he
stays at home. But it’s so difficult for
men to do that because the moment
a man is sitting at home and looking
after the children, he is thought of as
being a weakling – and that’s equally
sexist. We need to question these
expectations that we put on men too,”
she notes.
* Names have been changed in the interest
of privacy.
AIYOH,
WAT LA?!
Isanannualspoofawardsheldby
theJointActionGroupforGender
Equalitytoraiseawarenessinrelation
togenderandsexuality.Public
figures,statementsorpoliciesthat
areoffensivecanbenominatedunder
hilariouscategoriessuchas‘Insulting
Intelligence’and‘LeastHelpfulto
theSisterhood’!Join
thefunnextmonthandvisit
www.aiyohwatlah.tumblr.com
GIRL-POWER SITES
YOU SHOULD
BOOKMARK
•www.everydaysexism.com
•www.upworthy.com
•www.huffingtonpost.com/women
•www.bitchmagazine.org
•www.representationproject.org
•www.tedwomen.com
000 www.femalemag.com.my
STARS
SPEAK
UP
“It’showyou’relookedat,how
you’reexpectedtolookinaphoto
shoot;it’showyou’reexpectedto
shutupandnothaveanopinion.If
you’reagirlanddon’tfitthevery
specificvisionofwhatagirlshould
be,whichisalwaysfromaman’s
perspective,thenyou’realittlebit
ataloss.”
– Ellen Page
000www.femalemag.com.my
“Areyoutryingto
loseweight?What’s
thedeal,man?Are
youtryingtofit
intoacatsuit?” –
Anne Hathaway’s
responsetoa
reporter,who
pesteredherabout
herdietandfitness
regimeforTheDark
KnightRises.