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Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
1
Rich McLaughlin
McLaughlin Consulting Services
Rich@mclaughlincommunity.com
Emotional Intelligence Primer
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
2
“Organizations where ego is poorly managed, then
have to attract talent primarily by pay, missing the
opportunity to attract talent by the opportunities for
growth the company provides or the desire people
have to work there. The ripple effect is that
companies become less competitive and are
marginalized by the lack of talent.”
David Marcum
Opening Thought
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
3
Opening Thought
~ Daniel Goleman, Harvard
“The best bosses are people who are trustworthy, empathic,
and connected, who make us feel calm, appreciated and
inspired. People who feel their boss provides a secure base,
are more free to explore, be playful, take risks, innovate and
take on new challenges. And if leaders establish such trust and
safety, then when they give tough feedback, the person
receiving it not only stays more open but sees benefit in getting
even hard to take information.”
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
4
Emotional Intelligence
• Self Awareness
• Managing your emotions
• Motivating oneself
• Recognizing emotions in others
• Social Skills
You
Others
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
5
Emotional Intelligence
Spinal cord enters brain here
Limbic
System
(I feel here)
I Think
Rationally
(way over here)
“Since our brains are wired to make us emotional creatures, your first
reaction to an event is always going to be an emotional one.”
~ T. Bradberry and J. Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
6
Rich
shuts
down
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
7
Known
to me
Unknown
to me
Known by others Unknown by others
Seek Feedback
Build trust or..
Public
Self
Hidden
Potential
Blind
Spot
Private
Self
Self-Awareness – Johari Window
have them
make it up!
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
8
Seeking Feedback
1) Make a live appeal – “Could really use your help here..”
2) Have trusted person send out survey
• What is ________doing that you appreciate and want _____to CONTINUE
to do?
• What would you like ______to STOP doing/do less of?
• What would you like ___________ to START doing/do more of?
3) Review data and
4) Thank them and ask if they would come to a
clarification meeting facilitated by X
5) Attend and listen and make agreements there or
sleep on it and get back to them
do NOT put an action plan together
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
9
Emotional Intelligence
Known
to me
Unknown
to me
Known by others Unknown by others
Seek Feedback
Build trust or..
Public
Self
Hidden
Potential
Blind
Spot
Private
Self
have them
make it up!
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
10
How Personal?
1) On a scale of 1-10 how personal does it feel here?
“1”
People are
hesitant to
share anything
personal here/
Myself included
“10”
People here
know and care
about each other
and are unafraid
to share what’s
going on for
them
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
2) How personal would I like it to be?
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 101
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
11
Social Awareness
Self Awareness
Managing your emotions
Motivating oneself
Recognizing emotions in others
Social Skills
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
12
High
Low
• Energy
Required
Ignoring
Pretend Listening
Selective Listening
Attentive Listening
Empathy
• Relationship
Built
Sympathy
Empathy vs. Sympathy
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
13
Emotional Intelligence
“A critical task of leadership is to protect space for the
expression of people’s doubts. The act of surfacing doubts
and dissent does not deflect the communal intention to
create something new. What is critical, and hard to live
with, is that leaders do not have to respond to each
person’s doubts. All we have to do with the doubts of
others is get interested in them. We do not have to take
them on or let them resonate with our own doubts.”
~ Peter Block
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
14
Emotional Intelligence
To what degree is it ok to
express doubts here?
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
15
Emotional Intelligence
1. Be aware of your emotions and ask for help to manage
them
2. Ask for feedback periodically
3. Look for opportunities to “let others in” and be vulnerable
4. Choose empathy/avoid sympathy
5. Encourage airing of doubts without judgement
Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!
McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com
609-577-3072
16
"All businesses have one thing in common. They are
made up of people. If you treat your people correctly,
the business should operate more smoothly. This is
true of all businesses, manufacturing and service
alike, but it is particularly true of service industries,
for human beings are the most critical element.
Andy Law
Founder, St. Luke’s
Advertising Agency
Closing Thoughts

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Emotional Intelligence Primer

  • 1. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 1 Rich McLaughlin McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@mclaughlincommunity.com Emotional Intelligence Primer
  • 2. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 2 “Organizations where ego is poorly managed, then have to attract talent primarily by pay, missing the opportunity to attract talent by the opportunities for growth the company provides or the desire people have to work there. The ripple effect is that companies become less competitive and are marginalized by the lack of talent.” David Marcum Opening Thought
  • 3. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 3 Opening Thought ~ Daniel Goleman, Harvard “The best bosses are people who are trustworthy, empathic, and connected, who make us feel calm, appreciated and inspired. People who feel their boss provides a secure base, are more free to explore, be playful, take risks, innovate and take on new challenges. And if leaders establish such trust and safety, then when they give tough feedback, the person receiving it not only stays more open but sees benefit in getting even hard to take information.”
  • 4. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 4 Emotional Intelligence • Self Awareness • Managing your emotions • Motivating oneself • Recognizing emotions in others • Social Skills You Others
  • 5. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 5 Emotional Intelligence Spinal cord enters brain here Limbic System (I feel here) I Think Rationally (way over here) “Since our brains are wired to make us emotional creatures, your first reaction to an event is always going to be an emotional one.” ~ T. Bradberry and J. Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0
  • 6. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 6 Rich shuts down
  • 7. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 7 Known to me Unknown to me Known by others Unknown by others Seek Feedback Build trust or.. Public Self Hidden Potential Blind Spot Private Self Self-Awareness – Johari Window have them make it up!
  • 8. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 8 Seeking Feedback 1) Make a live appeal – “Could really use your help here..” 2) Have trusted person send out survey • What is ________doing that you appreciate and want _____to CONTINUE to do? • What would you like ______to STOP doing/do less of? • What would you like ___________ to START doing/do more of? 3) Review data and 4) Thank them and ask if they would come to a clarification meeting facilitated by X 5) Attend and listen and make agreements there or sleep on it and get back to them do NOT put an action plan together
  • 9. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 9 Emotional Intelligence Known to me Unknown to me Known by others Unknown by others Seek Feedback Build trust or.. Public Self Hidden Potential Blind Spot Private Self have them make it up!
  • 10. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 10 How Personal? 1) On a scale of 1-10 how personal does it feel here? “1” People are hesitant to share anything personal here/ Myself included “10” People here know and care about each other and are unafraid to share what’s going on for them 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 2) How personal would I like it to be? 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 101
  • 11. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 11 Social Awareness Self Awareness Managing your emotions Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others Social Skills
  • 12. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 12 High Low • Energy Required Ignoring Pretend Listening Selective Listening Attentive Listening Empathy • Relationship Built Sympathy Empathy vs. Sympathy
  • 13. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 13 Emotional Intelligence “A critical task of leadership is to protect space for the expression of people’s doubts. The act of surfacing doubts and dissent does not deflect the communal intention to create something new. What is critical, and hard to live with, is that leaders do not have to respond to each person’s doubts. All we have to do with the doubts of others is get interested in them. We do not have to take them on or let them resonate with our own doubts.” ~ Peter Block
  • 14. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 14 Emotional Intelligence To what degree is it ok to express doubts here?
  • 15. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 15 Emotional Intelligence 1. Be aware of your emotions and ask for help to manage them 2. Ask for feedback periodically 3. Look for opportunities to “let others in” and be vulnerable 4. Choose empathy/avoid sympathy 5. Encourage airing of doubts without judgement
  • 16. Helping Leaders drive change and innovation! McLaughlin Consulting Services Rich@Mclaughlincommunity.com 609-577-3072 16 "All businesses have one thing in common. They are made up of people. If you treat your people correctly, the business should operate more smoothly. This is true of all businesses, manufacturing and service alike, but it is particularly true of service industries, for human beings are the most critical element. Andy Law Founder, St. Luke’s Advertising Agency Closing Thoughts