ParentEdge_SeptOct2014_Article1

From Primary to
Middle School
Is your Child
EMOTIONALLY
INTELLIGENT ?
EMOTIONALLY
INTELLIGENT ?
Introducingyour
Childto
Numeracy
Introducingyour
Childto
NumeracyShould you Apply Early Decision?
Should I Switch to Organic Food?
Product review: eKAVACH
Children and Model Construction
September-October 2014 Vol 4 - Issue 2 - `100
FirstAid
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July - Aug 2014 Vol 4 - Issue 1 - `100
Dermatoglyphics Multiple Intelligence Test Pg 14
Pg 8
Pg 71
Pg 68
Pg 18
Pg 34
3rd
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Issue
New! Transition: Play School to Grade One Pg 28
Magazines for Children Pg 62
Pursuits and Passions – Robotics and Programming Pg 50
Education Options for Gifted Children Pg 22

Dear
ReaderWelcome to another wonderful issue of your favourite magazine! Do we hear you breathe a sigh of relief that
you finally have some time to yourself to read a few pages? Good, because we have filled this issue with
interesting articles that promise to be helpful and thought-provoking.
Several subscribers have been writing in to us with queries on topics ranging from education to behaviour and
giftedness. We have been overwhelmed with these requests, but in a good way—it’s heartening to see so many
parents being hands-on and involved in their children’s life, and of course, it is even more heartening to see
that you write in to us with your queries and look to us for answers. Thank you for this vote of confidence! To
help all parents benefit from these queries and advice, we are starting Ask the Expert as a regular column in
all our issues, and will feature all your queries here—queries received over email, on the website, on our blog
roll, on our FB page and in person…
Onto our stories now. Taking off from the feature we did on Life Skills a few issues ago, we decided to focus on
one extremely important life skill that is often overlooked in favour of more ‘academic’ ones. Do read our Cover
Story ‘Is your Child Emotionally Intelligent?’ to discover why EQ is so important today and how you can mould
your child into being more empathetic and emotionally mature.
Parents with twelfth graders are probably stressed out right about now, as their children start thinking about
which colleges to apply to, how to present effective applications, etc. For those who have their sights set on
going to the US, check out our College Education Abroad article on ‘Should you Apply Early Decision?’, which
will familiarise you with an important concept in the US undergraduate scene. Also get your children to read
our Career Track article, where some successful entrepreneurs have offered relevant and practical advice on
entrepreneurship (and shared some of the secrets behind their success as well!).
Lest parents of younger children feel left out, we have a Transitions article on the changes that moving from
primary to middle school brings and how you can help your child make this transition smoothly, a Young
Parents’ Corner article on ‘Introducing your Child to Numeracy’, and a Spotlight article on coping with ‘Night-
time Terrors’.
As always, we are mindful of your concerns around health and nutrition and bring you two articles that focus
on your child’s physical well-being: ‘Should I Switch to Organic Food?’ and an Everyday Parenting article on
‘First Aid Tips and Techniques’.
Since you can never have too much of a good thing, some more parenting advice comes your way from other
parents just like you in our Quick Resources article on ‘Useful Parenting Blogs and Forums’. And then read our
Book Reviews, ‘cool’ recipes for teenagers, and much much more. Do be sure to check out the massive mind
map we have put together on chess in Knowledge for Kids.
As you can see, this is another packed and informative issue on all things parenting. Don’t know where to
start? We recommend that you start at the beginning and work your way through….
Happy reading!
ParentEdge Editorial Team
This Issue’s Student Editors Intent of the magazine
Learning is a continuous process,
and needs to happen both in and
outside of school; thus parents have
an important role to play in shaping
their children’s future. ParentEdge
aims to expose parents to global
trends in learning and partner with
them in the intellectual enrichment
of their children.
Page 08
Page 62
Page 48
Page 38
Page 30
Page 56
Page 24
Page 73
Mithila Iyer is a 17-year old, studying in Grade XII in Lady Andal
Venkatasubba Rao School, Chennai. She describes herself as a ‘bookphile’, and the
proud owner of a typewriter! Mithila will fight you on your opinion of Sansa Stark,
and loves indie music. She hopes to pursue writing, acting, and epidemiology at
Columbia University next fall.
Ramya Ramalingam is a 15-year old, studying in Grade X in NPS, Bangalore. She is
passionate about reading and writing (often indulging in these activities every spare
minute she has), but lest she be called a ‘bookworm’, she also enjoys playing
basketball and badminton. This versatile youngster has also been learning Carnatic
music for the past nine years, as well as Western classical piano. And as if that
weren’t enough, she writes for her music school’s blog and maintains one of her own
as well (http://ramyaramalingam.wordpress.com/)!
Is your Child Emotionally
Intelligent?
First Aid Tips and
Techniques
From Primary to
Middle School
Introducing your Child to
Numeracy
Should you Apply Early
Decision?
Should I Switch to
Organic Food?
Product review: eKavach
Children and Model
Construction

Editor
Kritika Srinivasan
Editorial Team
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Kavita Phadnis
Art Desk
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Nirmala Sankaran is the co-founder of Heymath!, a curriculum based online
programme that builds a solid foundation in Mathematics through world class
teaching methodologies and rigorous assessments. HeyMath! has successfully
impacted over half a million students in over 50 countries since 2000.
Prab Singh heads CollegeSource, an organisation that provides life coaching to
adolescents and support to their family through the process of deciding their
higher education and career goals.
Meena Sivaraman is an early childhood development specialist. With rich
experience in the holistic enrichment of children’s intellect during their
formative years, Meena is a firm believer in involved, hands-on parenting. She
is very well read on topics related to parenting and child development.
Sridhar Ramanathan is the Founder of IDEAS-RS where he is also a Strategic
Innovation Coach. Sridhar’s mission in life is “to help those who want to do
things better and differently”. His work involves conducting creative problem
solving workshops for clients, and buidling competencies in creativity and
innovation.
Sulata Shenoy is a child and adolescent psychologist. A Ph.D in Psychology,
she has worked as a psychologist at a number of hospitals in Bangalore.
She is the Director of Turning Point Centre for Guidance, which specialises
in psychological assessments and therapies for children and adults. She also
conducts workshops for parents, children and teachers.
Jyoti Swaroop is an educational consultant who works with Ratna Sagar
Publishing. Jyoti interacts extensively with schools across India on many
topics including the interpretation of the recently introduced Continuous
and Comprehensive Evaluation. She is also associated with a career guidance
organisation for school students. Jyoti has authored several English Language
text books for many leading publishers.
Swati Popat Vats is President of Podar Education Network. An educator,
educational activist and teaching expert, Swati Popat Vats also writes parenting
columns in leading newspapers and magazines and has authored more than
13 books for children, parents and teachers. She is the President of the Early
Childhood Association of India, the National Representative for the World
Forum on Early Childhood Education and Leader-Asia for the Nature Action
Collaborative For Children.
Jaishri Ramakrishnan is a consultant psychologist associated with Billroth
Hospitals and two leading schools in Bangalore and Chennai. She has over
three decades of experience in handling children with special needs. Jaishri
has conducted several seminars, workshops and training programmes on
Parenting, Handling children with Special Needs and Stress Management. She
writes regularly for ‘The Hindu’ and ‘Times Of India’. In addition, Jaishree is
associated with multiple NGOs in Chennai.
Dr. Anitha Kurup is an educationist by training and has over two decades of
experience in the field of education and gender. As an anchor of the National
Programme on Gifted Education in India, she has spearheaded the development
of Indian based parameters and tools for identifying gifted children in the age
group of 3-15 years using intensive field based observation. She has several
publications in both national and international journals to her credit.
Manish Naidu is Founder and CEO of Brain Wonders, India’s Largest
Dermatoglyphics Multiple Intelligence Test (DMIT) company. Brain Wonders has
more than 70 centres in India and four internationally. The company is the
recipient of Best Student Counselling Award at the Indian National Awards.
Manish, with his strong entrepreneurial background and a clear vision, has
transformed the educational counselling space with his U.S patented DMIT
technique.
Panel of Experts

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Cover Story
Is your Child Emotionally
Intelligent?
Quick Resources
Useful Parenting Blogs and
Forums
Parenting
Education and Learning
Behavioural and Psychological Issues
Health
Interests & Extra-curricular Activities
8
22
24
Product Review
eKavach
Career Track
Expert Perspectives: On Entrepreneurship
Young Parents’ Corner
Introducing your Child to Numeracy
2627
College Education Abroad
Should you Apply Early Decision?
Multiple Intelligences at Home
Visual-Spatial Intelligence
Transitions
From Primary to
Middle School
36
30
38
43
48
Ask the ExpertNurturing Gifted
Children
Educational Resources Outside School

For parents of children aged
3 - 6 Years
7 - 12 Years
13 + Years
Knowledge for Kids
Checkmate!
Nutrition and
Wellness
Should I Switch to
Organic Food?
Spotlight
Night-time Terrors
Everyday Parenting
First Aid Tips and Techniques
Book Reviews
Places to Visit
Science Centres in your City
Recipes
Cool School Lunches for Teens
Pursuits and
Passions
Children and Model
Construction
62
56
54
67
70
73
81
79

September-October 201408
Cover Story
?

09September-October 2014
In recent years, people have
been talking not so much
about IQ as EQ. Employers
tout it as an important quality
to have, parents are worried
that their kids are growing
up emotionally deficient and
teachers emphasise emotions
and their expression.
Cover Story

What
is EQ?EQ or Emotional Quotient or Emotional
Intelligence had its roots in Howard
Garner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences,
but really came into its own with the
publication of Daniel Goleman’s book in
1995, ‘Emotional Intelligence—Why it can
Matter More than I.Q.’, in which he argues
that non-cognitive skills are as important
as IQ for workplace success and leadership.
Emotional Intelligence is the ability
to understand, regulate and express
your own emotions, understand others’
feelings, use emotional information to
decide how to behave, and maintain
healthy relationships. EQ has far-
reaching implications, beyond just being
a good predictor of workplace success.
It essentially decides your actions,
reactions and interactions. Evidently, it
is important then that parents encourage
the development of emotional intelligence
in their children if they want them to
grow up to be happy, well-adjusted and
harmonious individuals.
The five ‘domains’
of EQ, as identified
by Goleman:
1. Knowing your emotions
2. Managing your emotions
3. Motivating yourself
4. Recognising and
understanding other people’s
emotions
5. Managing relationships
In general, a child with high EQ will
demonstrate:
• Self-awareness: The child knows and
recognises his emotions, his strengths
and weaknesses, and what causes him
to react in certain ways to certain
situations.
• Self-regulation: He is able to monitor
and regulate his emotions and
respond appropriately to situations.
• Awareness and empathy: He feels
empathetic towards people around
him. Additionally, he is sensitive to
the emotions of people around him
and can adjust his behaviour and
words accordingly.
• Good social skills: He has good social
skills and is comfortable talking to
people from diverse backgrounds.
The ability to regulate his emotions and
to cope with pressure, as well as to form
strong and healthy relationships will
make him a confident individual, and a
responsible member of the community.
Singapore-based Avanti Kundalia, a
parent of two children, bemoans the fact
that in the rat race that characterises
today’s generation, “Every child is going
to the best of classes and schools, but
we forget to pay attention to emotional
development, and children grow up to
be emotionally imbalanced adults. They
are depressed, cannot hold themselves
together and everything becomes a big
deal.” In short, an inability to handle
emotions is leading to children who lack
resilience.
Santosh Kanavalli, Principal of SSVM World
School in Coimbatore, agrees. He fears that
children are emotionally disconnected
because parents are not equipping them
with the right tools to regulate their
emotional behaviour. This emotional
disconnect brings a feeling of isolation
and the inability to conduct or express
oneself appropriately during face-to-face
interactions.
Cover Story

Cover Story
“The ability to introspect and
evaluate what we are doing in a
critical manner, and to benefit
from the knowledge that we have
acquired.”
– Pranav Putcha, 18 years,
Singapore
“Emotional security with your
choices and with yourself.”
– Avanti Kundalia, parent,
Singapore
“Being honest, empathetic and
cooperative, and willing to learn”
– Bavani Ravishankar, parent,
Bangalore
“Knowing yourself, your strengths
and weaknesses, managing your
emotions, resolving conflicts.” –
Santosh Kanavalli, Principal,
SSVM World School, Coimbatore
“Awareness, regulation and
empathy.”
– Neena David, Clinical
Psychologist, Bangalore
What are some of the
traits that you can expect
to see in an individual
with high EQ?
Signs that your
child could
have low EQAccording to Kanavalli, “Children with low EQ seek attention, manifest anger, are aloof
and don’t interact with their peers. You can see aggression, with such children expressing
their emotions through bullying and physical violence.” And indeed, there does seem to
be a co-relation between low EQ and problematic behaviours such as aggression, bullying,
defiance and substance abuse.
Young children throw frequent tantrums (far beyond the toddler stage) or exhibit physical
aggression; older children bully others or get into trouble in school for flouting rules or
being disruptive in class. Teenagers take rash decisions, hang out with an inappropriate
crowd, withdraw emotionally from their parents, and sometimes indulge in substance
abuse.

Cover Story
Look out for these signs:
• Is your child withdrawn?
• Unable to make friends?
• Negative in outlook?
• Hurtful in behaviour?
• Unable to respect authority figures?
• Getting into trouble in schools?
• Extremely moody and temperamental?
If you answered yes to most of these
questions, it may be time to seek help
for your child. While these are normal
aspects of every child’s development, it can
become problematic if the frequency or
intensity of occurrence of these incidents
is high enough to disrupt daily life.
Neena David, a Clinical Psychologist
with over 15 years of experience in
working with children and adults,
points to an important indicator of
low emotional intelligence, besides the
obvious manifestations, such as poor
anger management, the inability to form
friendships and aloofness. She says that
in each phase of development, there are
certain psychological milestones that have
to be met. “The young adult, for example,
has to complete his academics, find a job
and be independent. If there is a delay in
these psychological milestones, or if the
child exhibits behaviour characteristic of
an earlier age, this indicates a problem
with the emotional development of the
person.”
She further cautions the parent to place
behaviour within the context of age.
“Temper tantrums in a 2.5 year old are
not problematic,” she explains. “But if I
saw the same intensity of behaviour in an
adolescent as in a toddler, then I would
be suitably concerned. Parents should
thus first educate themselves about the
psychological milestones they can expect
from each age.”
Continued on page 16

Cover StoryCover Story

The Relationship
between EQ and….
Bullying
Research shows a strong correlation between EQ and bullying, with children who are bullies generally having lower EQ.
After all, a major aspect of EQ is the ability to understand and manage your emotions. What does this mean for the
parent? Educating your child and encouraging emotional intelligence in him can play a significant role in reducing his
propensity towards bullying.
Self-Esteem
What is self-esteem, really, but an awareness of one’s strengths and skills, and the ability to use these skills well? This
leads to a child feeling good about himself. Self-esteem is an external manifestation of a healthy EQ. Encouraging
EQ will enhance your child’s self-esteem. However, David cautions, “An excessively high self-esteem can also be
problematic and dysfunctional, leading to bullying for example.”
Academic Performance
Emotionally stable children achieve a higher degree of academic success. It stands to reason that a happy and stable
child will be less distracted and learn better. “Children with high EQ are always in control of their strengths; they are
able to make the right choices and decisions,” states Kanavalli. “And they know how to create an environment around
themselves that encourages them to perform at their potential and peak at the right moment. I have noticed that
children who come from stable homes and have a strong emotional background, outsmart and outdo other children who
are not as fortunate.”
Job success
Did you know that EQ could be an important predictor of job success? For long, people puzzled over why employees
with average IQ could outperform one with high IQ. Goleman’s book on emotional intelligence throws light on the
mystery—to succeed at the workplace, one needs to have strong EQ. In fact, research has proved that emotional
intelligence is a critical factor in differentiating star performers from the masses. Such people also show markedly
better leadership skills.
Thus, employers analyse whether your graduating child can be a team player, whether he has good social skills and can
maintain social harmony. They look for employees who can not only regulate their emotions and manage stress, but are
also able to introspect and correct their mistakes. And all these traits, of course, demand a healthy EQ.
Pallab Bandyopadhyay, Career Coach and ex-Head of HR across multiple organisations, points out that hirers value
EQ more than IQ. All things being equal, people with higher EQ will be promoted sooner. And organisations may not
even hire a person who is high on IQ but low on EQ. Of course, this does not mean that EQ takes precedence over IQ
when it comes to employability, or that IQ is devalued. As Bandyopadhyay points out, “Firstly, EQ is NOT the opposite
of IQ; they complement each other. When we recruit for a technical skill, it is primarily IQ that we look at, and
subject or domain expertise. But we do take EQ into consideration as well, assessing personality, communication, and
interpersonal skills.” He adds though, that as you go up the corporate ladder, EQ starts gaining more importance than
IQ—“At the level of VP, for example, how you manage your people is more important than your technical skills.”
Cover Story

Excerpts from ParentEdge’s interview with
Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of best-seller
‘Emotional Intelligence 2.0’, and founder of
TalentSmart, which provides products and
services related to EQ.
What is Emotional Quotient? Why is it
an important notion?
EQ is a measurement of your ability to
be aware of your emotions and manage
your behaviour and tendencies, and
to understand other people’s moods,
behaviour, and motives in order to improve
the quality of your relationships. Your
EQ is the foundation for a host of critical
skills—it impacts most everything you say
and do each day. It is the single biggest
predictor of performance in the workplace
and the strongest driver of leadership and
personal excellence.
What is more important to the
workplace—EQ or IQ?
Without question, EQ; as IQ predicts only
about 20% of how people do in life. EQ
taps into a fundamental element of human
behaviour that is distinct from your
intellect (IQ). Despite the growing focus on
EQ, a global deficit in understanding and
managing emotions remains. Emotional
awareness and understanding are not
taught in school. We enter the workforce
knowing how to read, write, and report
on bodies of knowledge but, too often,
we lack the skills to manage our emotions
in the heat of the challenging problems
that we face. Good decisions require far
more than factual knowledge. They are
made using self-knowledge and emotional
mastery when they are needed most.
“All kids today have good IQ, thanks
to all the input they receive from
all around them. Every child is
intelligent in some way and able to
excel at something. But emotionally,
they are definitely lacking. In
today’s world, it is EQ that really
differentiates children; but sadly, IQ
is killing EQ. We stress IQ so much
that there is no room for EQ to
develop.”
– Avanti Kundalia
“In some sense, I guess EQ is more
essential. You can be intelligent, but
if you don’t get along with people,
you are not going to get very far
in life. People who are not very
smart can succeed, but very rarely
do people with poor social skills
succeed.”
– Pranav Putcha
“IQ is no longer as relevant as it
used to be. When we look at a child’s
profile, we do not label him on the
basis of IQ or intelligence, but look
at him in a holistic manner. Is the
child equipped to handle the world
around him? Emotional intelligence
is as, if not more, important than
academics.”
– Santosh Kanavalli
“To see them as either-or constructs
is a fairly simplistic way of looking
at things. You do need a certain level
of cognitive functioning to survive
and be successful. However, EQ and
IQ complement one another and
together enhance your functioning.”
– Neena David
“Both are equally necessary. I guess
if you have good EQ, it automatically
means that your IQ is above
average.”
– Darshini R., 19 years, Pune

What traits does a company look for in
an employee?
The four core emotional intelligence skills:
self-awareness, self-management, social
awareness, and relationship management.
A study of hiring managers across
industries reveals that the primary reasons
new hires fail, are interpersonal, not
technical. 26% of new hires fail because
they can’t accept feedback and another
23% don’t last because they’re unable to
understand and manage emotions.
Can a strong EQ predict success in the
workplace? How?
Absolutely. We experience more than 400
emotions every single day, whether we are
aware of them or not. With emotion being
the primary driver of our behaviour, people
with high EQ are much more effective in
their work. An analysis of job performance
indicates that leaders who had high scores
on the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal (a
TalentSmart assessment) were 20% more
productive and accounted for $250,000
more productivity per head than low EQ
colleagues in the same regions.
Straight from
the Source
Which is more
important—
EQ or IQ?
Cover Story

Cover Story
Continued from page 12
The school’s
role in the
development
of EQ
The immediate impact of having strong
EQ is that it can lead to better academic
performance. Kanavalli explains, “Emotions
are vital, so necessary to learning! When
a child’s emotions are stable, learning
is enhanced.” He draws on his years of
experience as school principal and points
out that children today are emotionally
disconnected. They suffer from feelings
of isolation, an inability to regulate
their emotions, and to form healthy
relationships with their peer groups.
Kanavalli places a large part of the
blame for this on parents. “Children are
not empathetic. They are not able to
understand another person’s point of view
because there is no conversation taking
place within families. And nuclear families
come with their own problems—they seem
to have created a vacuum where emotions
are concerned.” Which is why, he feels,
schools cannot sit back and abdicate all
responsibility.
Everyone agrees that EQ can be learnt
and developed. So one solution to this
emotional apathy in children could be to
include EQ education as part of the school
curriculum; not as a separate subject,
but integrated within all teaching and
learning.
While schools have introduced EQ training
in a small way, through community service
programmes, or life skills training (see
Cover Story of May-June 2014 issue—’10
Life Skills your Child Must Learn!’), these
need to be extended and cannot be seen
as one-off initiatives for a grade or credit.
The culture of EQ needs to permeate the
school, from management to teachers to
students. Kanavalli explains by detailing
what his school does:
• Creates a positive environment for
children, appreciating them and
giving them a feeling that they
are useful. All students are given
the opportunity to participate in
something.
• Has a robust Life Skills programme in
school, which nurtures emotions and
imparts life skills.
• Encourages Circle Time, where
classmates share feelings, and
resolve problems in groups within
the classroom. This nurtures a sense
of belongingness, empathy and the
feeling that they can learn together.
• Subscribes to School Cinema, an
initiative that uses short films,
supported by interactive activities and
workbooks to encourage emotional
intelligence and to help children deal
with the different issues they face.
• Trains teachers to be emotional
guides, besides encouraging students
with problems to visit the School
Counsellor
Image Courtesy: Samhita Academy, Bangalore
Cover Story

What
parents
must do
However, is it really enough for children
to spend a few minutes a week at school
discussing EQ, if they are then coming
home to an emotional vacuum? Isn’t it
equally important for parents to take
an active hand in making their children
emotionally intelligent? Here are some
tips on how parents can encourage the
development of emotional intelligence in
their children:
• Help your child understand and
manage feelings that threaten to
overwhelm him, such as anger or
frustration.
»» Equip children, even as toddlers,
with the appropriate emotional
vocabulary so they can express what
they are feeling. David explains,
“Labelling emotions helps them
recognise emotions. It gives them a
sense of control and awareness and
they can talk about it the next time
around.”
»» Acknowledge his feelings as he
expresses them. Don’t laugh off or
ignore his bursts of anger—the next
time, he may not tell you what and
how he is feeling.
»» Help him understand why he
is feeling sad or angry through
conversation and discussion.
»» Teach children alternate ways of
expressing frustration, such as
confronting someone verbally rather
than showing physical anger. They
can also work off their ‘steam’ or
deal with stress in some way that
suits them best—running, listening
to music or sleeping!
»» Help children understand that while
the initial reaction to an issue could
be anger, fear or frustration, it is
more productive in the long run to
find ways to solve the problem.
»» Older children can be encouraged
to write down their thoughts in a
journal. This will especially help
those who are not so comfortable
expressing themselves verbally—
they can simply write what they
feel without worrying about being
judged. Gradually, they will learn to
analyse and find solutions in what
they write down.
• Emotional maturity is best ‘taught’
by modelling that behaviour within
the family and community. If you
want your child to learn to control
his anger, you cannot vent your
frustration at your family members.
If you want him to show empathy, be
empathetic yourself.
• Be attentive to your child’s needs and
wants, and listen to what he says. An
issue that seems small to you may
be of paramount importance to him,
so listen without judging. Sometimes
children are not looking to you for a
solution, they just want to express
their feelings and be listened to.
• Talk to your child. Discover his
life and his thoughts through
conversation. Keep a tab on your
child’s life. A parent should be aware
of her child’s feelings, his peer group
and what he does in his free time.
• Have family meals together with
no electronic distractions and talk
your heart out. Share your day’s
experiences with one another.
• Share personal experiences from your
own life. Children will learn lessons
better when you recount your own
failures and learning, rather than
from a preachy story with a moral.
• Be fully aware of your children’s
peer group, one of the biggest
influences on them, especially during
adolescence.
• Interact with the school and teachers
to understand how he behaves in an
environment different from home, and
to discover any issues he may have.
• Develop in your child a strong sense
of morality and ethics, passing on
values that are important to you.
• Let children deal with the
consequences of their wrong actions,
no matter what they are. They will
learn important lessons from these
very mistakes.
• As they grow older, give them
sufficient freedom to make choices
and decisions, but always be around
to lend them a helping hand or a
shoulder to cry on—whatever they
require.
“As a model you are an
incredibly powerful person in
your child’s life. Reflect on how
you regulate your emotions,
how you express them, how your
marriage is, how you interact
with communities around you…
If you are an extremely anxious
mother or angry father, your
interactions will tell the child
that these are allowed ways of
behaving.” – Neena David
“I was afforded a significant level of independence in the way I studied, for instance. I studied by myself without help from
parents, teachers, or tuitions. My parents’ willingness to let me be, taught me to be self-reliant and emotionally strong.”
– Pranav Putcha
Cover Story
Geniuses are few and far in between. What the world really needs are emotionally intelligent people—empathetic, confident and well-
adjusted. While it is primarily the responsibility of the parent to care for the emotional well-being of the child, do keep in mind that this
is not something that you set aside a few minutes in a day for. David aptly sums it up—“EQ is not a specialised skill that you sit down for
10 minutes a day to talk about. Empathy and the regulation of emotions should be intrinsic to everything that you do, and we need to be
more mindful of that as parents. We look for great experiences or teaching moments, and these don’t happen.”

Can EQ be measured?
There are some assessments that measure certain aspects of
EQ. However, these are not necessarily valid if you are trying
to cover the entire gamut of emotional intelligence. At best,
they can help you understand a particular aspect or trait of
EQ.
Here are some EQ tests that you can check out. You may learn
something startling about yourself, or simply have fun!
www.personality-testing.info/tests/EI.php
www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.
htm?idRegTest=3037
www.ihhp.com/free-eq-quiz/
www.goodtherapy.org/tests/emotional-intelligence.html#
Cover Story

Here are some short cases for you
to think about. These cases cover
some typical issues in children’s
lives. First, read each case and try to
imagine what your child’s response
would be. How would you advise
him? Then read what our expert
recommends.
*Advice provided by Dr. Sulata
Shenoy, Director, Turning Point Centre
for Guidance, and on the ParentEdge
Panel of Experts
Case: Parent of a young child
Your child is angry with you—you promised
to buy her a toy that all her friends have,
but did not when you found out that it is
too expensive. How will your child react?
How will you deal with the situation?
Dr. Shenoy’s advice:
Say, “I am sorry you are disappointed
about not having the toy. I realise that I
should first have found out the cost of the
toy before promising it to you. I made a
mistake and I apologise. However, now I
am unable to find the money for the toy.
There is a similar toy in the market at half
the price. Do you think I could buy you
that?”
Case: Parent of a tween
Your child was supposed to complete an
important project but completely forgot
about it. It is due today and the teacher
will ask for it. How would your child react?
How will you handle him?
Is this the first time that something like
this has occurred, or does my child do
this habitually? If it is the latter, say,
“You have had enough opportunities to
submit your assignments on time. I have
warned you previously that I will not make
excuses for you. You should now take
responsibility for this error and face the
consequences of your lapse. Perhaps it will
ensure that you do not repeat the mistake.
I know you will look at this positively as
an important lesson because you are a
strong person.” If the child is generally
very diligent, but genuinely forgot to
complete the assignment, say, “You have
always submitted your assignments on
time. I am a bit disappointed that you
have slipped up today. Be honest with the
teacher and ask for an additional day’s
time to complete it. If she agrees, I will be
happy for you and I am sure you will not
make the mistake again.”
Case: Parent of a tween
Your child has not been invited to a party
that he was hoping to go to. Most of his
other friends are going and spend a lot of
time discussing it. How would he react, both
within the group that is talking about the
party as well as with the person who did
not invite him? How will you advise him?
Say, “I understand that you are
disappointed that you cannot go for the
party. However, as the host has the right
to invite people whom she wants, you
should not resent that. I am sure there
are other parties you will be attending. Is
there something else you would like to do
on that day? Let us see what is possible.”
Case: Parent of a teenager
Classmates are missing money and your
child knows that her best friend is the one
stealing money. She is afraid that someone
else who is innocent of the crime is going to
get into trouble for this and yet she cannot
bring herself to ‘tell’ on her best friend. If
she talks to her friend about it, chances are
her friend may get angry and break off the
friendship. What would she do? How will
you advise her?
Say, “I would suggest that you talk to
your best friend about her mistake and
persuade her to return the money. This is
in her own interest. You can also find out
why she needs the money, and try to help
her sort it out. This way she will have an
opportunity to rectify her mistake and
she will continue to be your friend as you
have tried to help her. If it is part of a
bigger problem, tell her it is best to talk to
someone in authority, the teacher or her
parents. Give her a day to respond, and
then it is better to tell the teacher about
the episode; by not doing so you will be as
guilty as your friend. If she is truly your
friend, she will respond to what you say;
otherwise friendship that goes against
your sense of right and wrong is not worth
it, is it?”
Cover Story

September-October 201420 September-October 201420
Case: Parent of a teenager
Your child and a group of friends are
discussing Indian elections and everyone
has differing views. People are getting
angry with one another and beginning to
get personal. How would your child defuse
the situation? How will you advise her?
Say, “It is natural for most of us to be
excited when we discuss issues we are
passionate about. Please try to calm
your friends by agreeing that they have a
right to their point of view but that it is
healthy to agree to disagree, without being
disagreeable! Friends can listen to one
another calmly and respect one another’s
views.”
Case: For the parent
You have received complaints from school
that your child was involved in a couple
of incidents of bullying. After talking at
length to your child, you realise that there
was no real problem that triggered this
bullying—she was not the main perpetrator
either—but she simply joined in with other
children to be part of the group. What
would you advise your child and how would
you chastise her?
I would ask the child whether she has
realised how her behaviour has hurt
the victim. Being part of the group, she
should take equal blame and face the
consequences. Let her know that you
expect her to be more discriminating
and not just blindly follow others. If she
is truly sorry about her behaviour, she
should apologise to the victim, and try to
befriend her.
Cover Story
- Kritika Srinivasan

Howard Gardner believes that healthy
development includes interpersonal and
intrapersonal intelligences, the capacity
to understand one’s own needs and
emotions, and to balance this knowledge
with responsiveness to the perspective
of others. To teach children life skills,
a parent needs Emotional Intelligence
(EQ). In fact, emotional intelligence
helps you deal with life and its problems,
and contributes to harmony, peace, and
satisfaction in your relationships—both
personal and professional.
Are we born with emotional
intelligence? Or is it cultivated?
Well, there are different theories about
this. Many child psychologists think that
growth and development are controlled
by heredity, and that we are born with
an emotional blueprint.This is called the
maturationist theory of development.
Expert'sTake
Swati Popat
E is for
Emotional
Intelligence
helps them recognise these emotions when
they see them in others, and they cultivate
empathy in their relationships. And that is
emotional intelligence.
The seven mantras of emotional
intelligence, when interacting with your
children
• Emotionally intelligent parents focus
on their children’s feelings rather
than their own during conversations
and arguments.
• Recognise when your children
are ready to talk and be there for
them at that time. Some children
open up at bedtime, some are most
communicative just when your
favourite serial is about to start!
Ask yourself what is important! You
cannot have a healthy communication
with your child when the TV is on.
Turn the TV and cell phone off.
• Show an interest in your child’s life
and let her know that you care about
what is happening in her life. You
can do this by knowing your child’s
interests, preferences in music, TV
shows and books, her activities, etc.
You should be worried if she admires
people like terrorists or Hitler. Find
out why. You can discover a lot about
your child’s emotional state just by
knowing about her interests.
• Remember that children sometimes
only tell you a small part of what
is bothering them. They are testing
you; you need to find out the rest
from them! Listen to them, encourage
them, do not criticise or give advice
until they have finished, and then
they may share the complete story of
what is bothering them.
• Teach children that it is okay to
disagree. Express your opinion to
your children without shooting theirs
down. Don’t insult them or argue with
them about who is right and who
is wrong, instead just state that, “I
know this is what you want but this is
what I think.”
• Learn to soften your reactions. Kids
will phase you out if you appear
angry all the time.
• Don’t be overly critical or rude. If you
do it too often, they will switch off
and not listen to you.
Other researchers believe that the
environment in which we grow up plays
a much more important role in our
development and growth. According
to this theory, called behaviourism,
our family life, culture, and people we
interact with, shape the kind of people
we will become, more so than our genetic
inheritance.

Another theory, which I personally
prefer, is developmental interaction,
which says that children are born with
certain abilities and capabilities that can
blossom when supported and nurtured
by rich interactions and a stimulating
environment. Or, can be severely impaired
by an environment and interactions that
lacks stimulation and rewards.
How can a parent help children build
their emotional competence?
By making them aware of emotions, and
why we feel these emotions. This is called
emotional competence. When a child
can understand an emotion in herself,
she is able to identify it in others. She
then knows how to deal with it when she
experiences it herself, and she understands
how to deal with others exhibiting a
similar emotion.
Emotional competence is an important
prerequisite if children are to develop
the ability to learn, explore and interact
successfully with others. So, as a parent,
you must teach children to identify
emotions, label them, and deal with them,
both in themselves and with others.
Teach children to recognise their emotions,
by:
• Helping them label their own feelings:
“You’re upset because grandpa had to
leave.”
• Describing your feelings to them: “I’m
angry because you broke the flower
pot.”
• Helping them understand and label
the feelings of other children: “Your
friend was screaming today as he was
scared of going to the doctor.”
Talking about emotions is good, and
emotionally intelligent children are taught
to talk about and discuss the way they are
feeling. Doing so avoids emotional turmoil,
anger, frustration or depression. It also
Ms.Swati PopatVats is the President
of Podar Education Network.She is an
educator,educational activist,teaching
expert and author of books for children,
parents and teachers.She is also a
member of ParentEdge’s Panel of Experts.
Expert’sTake

Quick Resources

www.rivokids.com/rivoblog
The Rivokids community consists of
people from diverse backgrounds sharing
their thoughts, ideas, projects and
advice on parenting. There is a variety
of blogs, written by anesthesiologists,
mathematicians, authors, psychologists,
artists, homemakers, teachers, journalists,
scientists and social activists, amongst
others. They cover a plethora of topics
such as the cognitive abilities of children,
child development, discipline and
behaviour, education, family, health,
safety, work-life balance, book and movie
reviews, sports and fitness, travel, cooking,
birthday party ideas and arts and crafts.
The community also has children blogging.
Every parent is sure to find something
interesting and relevant here.
www.momsters.in
Momsters was started as a helpful and
informative guide to parenting by a mom
with a three-year-old daughter. Over here,
you will find discussions on a range of
topics, from adoption and selecting age
appropriate books to the right time to
explain ‘good touch, bad touch’, dealing
with picky eaters and being an involved
parent at school. You can also find tips on
weaning, potty training, healthy eating,
raising readers, travel ideas, children’s
clothing, furniture for children’s rooms,
simple lunch recipes, and weekend
activities. This blog also displays pictures
and content from other parenting blogs.
Overall, www.momsters.in is a useful site
for parents of toddlers and young children.
www.notimeforflashcards.com
Started by an educationist-mother, this
blog roll focuses on helping adults make
learning fun and meaningful for their
children. It suggests age-relevant activities
for children as young as a few months
old to eight-year-olds. All the activities
have some educational purpose—helping
children with sensorial learning, the
development of motor skills, or skills in
maths and science. The blog also hosts a
book club for parents, which highlights
parenting books. With some colourful
photographs and easy and fun activities,
this is a must-check-out blog for parents
who want to be involved in their children’s
education.
www.fatherhood.org/the-father-factor
Started by the US National Father
Initiative, the mission of this blog roll is
to improve the well-being of children by
encouraging fathers to be more involved,
responsible and committed parents. The
contributors to this blog roll are, evidently,
fathers from around the world. They write
on the same topics moms write on, but
contribute a unique ‘dad’ perspective that
is eye-opening. Some examples of blogs
include talking to children about alcohol
consumption, ways to make your child
smarter than you, child abuse and what
to do with your children on mom’s night
out! There are posts for/from dads serving
in the armed forces, and even for those in
jail. The blog also boasts an e-book series
for dads, which discusses issues of interest
for today’s fathers.
www.shortfatdictator.com
This blog is written by a mother with
three children under the age of six, and
as the name of the blog suggests, it takes
us through the day–to-day happenings of
*Check out our first list of Parenting Blogs
in Issue 1 (Jul-Aug 2011) of our magazine.
the author’s family life in a witty way. You
can’t help but laugh as you work your way
through anecdotes like ‘When the flight
got delayed’, or ‘When the stomach-flu bug
hit’, ‘When one of the kids started learning
to ride a bike’, ‘Disastrous but fun, festival
times’, ‘Vacation happenings’, and even
‘How adults have to be examples for
kids’—all related with a strong touch of
self-deprecating humour. Advice laced with
humour is always easier to follow!
www.karmickids.blogspot.in
This blog’s author writes for a variety of
parenting forums and blog rolls, and then
posts these on her own page as well. She
writes about anything and everything to
do with parenting—experiences, advice,
musings about her son and writing
experiences. Her writing is funny, original
and enjoyable to read. Perhaps even
more useful are the handy resources that
she points parents to—new parenting
books, events for parents, and interesting
websites. KarmicKids has been listed
amongst the best Indian blogs by India
Bloggers (http://indianbloggers.org/), and
as one of the top five parenting blogs in
India by BlogAdda.
blogs.familyeducation.com
This is a parenting community featuring
a variety of blogs written by numerous
authors. As can be expected, this makes
for sheer diversity in the topics covered—
from bullying and addiction to technology,
to baby names and eating and sleeping
habits, to disciplining, medical problems,
social networking and body image.
The blog is divided according to age,
featuring write-ups for babies, toddlers,
young children and teens. Brimming with
practical tips, simple ideas and a plethora
of activities for children to do, it offers
something for every parent and every
family.
- Ramya Ramalingam
Quick Resources

eKAVACH is a digital parenting
app that allows parents to monitor
and regulate their children’s online
activities, and keep them safe in the
digital world. It can help you deal
with online threats such as cyber
bullying, unsolicited content, online
predators or even excessive use of
the internet.
How it works
eKAVACH offers a Parent app and a Child app that can be
downloaded on the parent device and child device respectively
(smartphone, tablet, iPad, etc.). The Child app tracks the child’s
online activity, while the Parent app allows you to set rules, and
monitor internet usage. The Child app can be downloaded on
multiple devices so that you can monitor the online activity of more
than one child, and across several devices.
Note: While the app is feature-rich and comprehensive on Android,
unfortunately it does not offer as much on the iOS due to restrictions
imposed on the developer by the operating system.
Manufacturer’s claims examined
Superior protection through ‘intelligent
web filtering’
eKAVACH does help the parent monitor the
child’s use of the internet and protect him
from threats by allowing you to:
• Block specific web categories which
you would not want your child to
access
• Blacklist certain websites within
allowed categories or whitelist others
within blocked categories
• Set internet usage limits, i.e. how
many hours per day, and when, the
child can access the Net
• Enable ‘safe search’, which blocks
inappropriate sites, information and
even images from showing up in
search results
eKAVACH presents the parent with an
exhaustive list of categories (around
660) to choose from. These categories
are, by default, already either allowed or
blocked on your device, depending on age-
appropriateness. However, the parent can
customise these categories, and further
choose what to block or allow.
Note: On the Android device, the eKAVACH
Child app can fulfill all these functionalities
across all popular browsers, and enable
‘Safe Search’ across the Yahoo Search, Bing
Search and Google Search Apps. On Apple
products, the eKAVACH Child provides a
dedicated child-safe browser, which is a full-
function browser and supports all features
listed above. However, this means that the
eKAVACH app on iOS can only regulate and
monitor online activity done through this
specific browser; the above functions are not
supported across other browsers like Safari,
which need to be blocked/disabled manually
by the parent on the device itself.
Product Review
Product Review

What we like
• The Parent App allows you a high
degree of flexibility—it allows you
to change parameters and settings
on the move, directly from your
device, and these changes take effect
immediately. This means that you can
make adjustments as per the child’s
requirements, allowing extra Internet
usage time in order to work on a
project, for instance, or temporary
access to certain sites.
• Parents can monitor the child’s
online activity in real-time, receiving
instant notifications about access
to potentially harmful content. This
means that the parent is notified if
the child attempts to access a blocked
site. This information could provide
you with an important insight into
his needs or anxieties.
• The app features a simple dashboard
with important analytics, including
what children are searching for, what
kind of sites they are accessing, how
much time they spend online, etc.
Again, this analysis will allow you to
understand their online activity and
make better parenting decisions.
• This is a parent-side app that gives
you active control. You are not just
downloading some software with rules
and restricting access, but actively
monitoring usage and analysing your
child’s online habits.
What we don’t like as much
The user interface on iOS is not very
attractive. And as mentioned earlier,
the iOS offers restricted features. This is
not a fault with the app, but rather the
restrictions that the operating system
imposes; all the same, the app is not very
useful if your family is on iOS.
How eKAVACH compares with the
competition
There are other similar apps available such
as Net Nanny, CYBERsitter, McAfee Safe
Eye, etc. But many of these do not allow
you to monitor your child’s activity in real-
time. Net Nanny, for instance, allows you
to download a customisable safe Internet
browser and set restrictions on searches,
usage, etc. But it does not give you
statistics on or an analysis of actual usage.
Thus, it is only about control, whereas
eKAVACH is really about making better
parenting decisions. Additionally, the ‘Safe
Search’ feature of eKAVACH also blocks the
return of potentially inappropriate image
and video results in search engines. Other
apps only block content results.
Pricing
The app has just been launched in the
market and a free 90-days trial version is
available until around mid-October. The
final pricing has not yet been decided, but
will probably be a tiered one determined
by family size, ranging between INR100-200
a month.
Recommendation
This is one app which today’s parent
should not do without. We cannot stop our
children from getting online, nor should
we. But with this app, we can keep an
eye on what they are doing in the digital
world. eKAVACH, with its feature-rich and
parenting-focused capabilities, allows you
to ensure that your children have a safe
online experience, while facilitating better
parenting decisions based on their online
interactions and activities. We would
recommend that you buy the app if your
family is on Android; however, we would
not recommend it as strongly for an Apple
family, since its usage on iOS is fairly
restricted.
Note: All product specifications and features
are as per information available to the
ParentEdge editorial team at the time of
publication.
- Kritika Srinivasan
Enhancing child’s productivity through
‘application management’
eKAVACH does help the parent monitor
activity around apps by allowing you
to see which applications the child is
accessing and how much time he spends on
them. It allows you to block the download
of certain applications, and also see
which applications the child is trying to
download or delete (including alerting you
if the child tries to delete the eKAVACH
app itself!). Additionally, the parent can
set time restrictions for the access of
certain applications; for example, a gaming
application or What’s App can be accessed
only after the child comes home from
school for an hour in the evening.
Note: The application management
functionality is not available on iOS.
Real-term monitoring
eKAVACH sends real-time alerts to the
parent’s device when the child keys
in a word identified as inappropriate,
or tries to access a blocked category
or site. Additionally, the Parent app
features a detailed dashboard (available
on the parent device as well as online)
that summarises the child’s daily online
activity—detailing usage statistics (time
as well as which categories of sites were
accessed), keywords searched, activity
around application downloading, deletion
and usage, etc. A weekly report is sent to
the parent’s email ID with a summary of
the week’s activities.
Note: On iOS, only online activity conducted
through eKAVACH child browser is
monitored and reported. Additionally, since
application management is not available on
iOS, there will be no statistics around this.
Behind the App
Developed by: Certus Technologies
Available on: Android and iOS.
But the iOS version is restricted
and not as feature-rich.
Future versions: Future versions
will include chat room monitoring,
protection against cyber bullying,
social media monitoring, and SMS,
Call and Phone media monitoring.
Product Review
September-October 201426 1725September-October 2014

26September-October 2014September-October 201426
Here is a question that a reader wrote
in to us with, and a response from the
ParentEdge Expert Panel.
“My question is about my 6-year-old
daughter. She is very slow in everything
she does—in activities as simple as
brushing her teeth, which takes about
half an hour, and drinking milk or eating
her meals. I try to time her activities but
since I work, I am not able to enforce this
throughout the day. This is also affecting
my second child’s psyche, who is otherwise
very fast in everything she does. Please
help!” – Kalpana Mishra, Delhi
Response from
Dr. Sulata Shenoy,
Director, Turning Point
Centre for Guidance:
“We need to understand that children’s
sense of time is quite different from ours.
When they are doing an activity, they may
lose track of time and may dawdle. While
this is frustrating for parents who have so
many time-bound chores for completion,
children dislike being constantly reminded
to complete their tasks and cannot be
hurried. You can sit down and talk to your
daughter about how the day is divided
into different time zones and what are the
chores we need to get over with to move
on to the next. You can then involve her
in timing herself for the chores. It would
help if you could put up a picture chart
about the sequence of activities through
the day. It also helps if you give her an
attractive task to do after her routine
chore. Tell her that you would appreciate
it if she could complete her tasks on time.
You can offer appropriate rewards or make
a star chart for marking timely completion.
Regarding her slow eating, it is not
advisable to fuss over it. Tell her the food
will make her strong and encourage her
to eat her meals on time. You can tell
her that meal time is not to be extended
beyond half an hour—give her a gentle
reminder about 10 minutes before the half
hour is up, and if she has not finished
eating at the half hour mark, simply take
the plate away and inform her that meal
time is over. Do not give her any snacks
in between meals, present the next meal
after a sufficient gap, and again repeat
instructions about desirability of eating
good food on time. There is no need to
threaten, cajole, shout, or bribe the child
to eat.
Be patient and positive in your approach.
If you are consistent in your efforts, you
will find the child will gradually enjoy
completing all her tasks on time.
Have a query on parenting? Write in to
our experts with your questions to
editor@parentedge.in.
Ask the Expert

1) Enriching the home
environment
It is essential to engage children in
activities that are mentally stimulating.
Particularly in the preschool years, this
stimulation—derived from toys, puzzles,
books, and blocks—can help children
develop basic psychomotor skills and reveal
areas of interest. While the market for
early-childhood stimulation is growing,
there is no evidence that enrichment
makes children smarter. What research
does show is that cognitive deprivation
retards development. Which means, it is
better to steer clear of toys that claim
to ‘advance’ a child’s development. With
substantive efforts, you may get a child
to read a few months before she normally
would have, but this is highly unlikely to
have any long-term beneficial effects. (Of
course, if a child spontaneously learns to
read or draw earlier than expected, you
should provide the appropriate facilities.)
Allow gifted preschoolers plenty of time
for unstructured solitary and peer play,
daydreaming, and independent exploration
and experimentation.
The interests of young children change
rapidly. While it may be tempting to
accede to a seven-year-old child’s demands
for a science kit in the hope of unearthing
a gift, it may be wiser to wait until the
child has demonstrated commitment
to the subject before investing in the
equipment. There are plenty of homegrown
experiments available to children with
access to books and the internet. Many
gifted children with a scientific bent of
mind spontaneously engage in informal
observation, classification, speculation,
and experimentation. We have observed
a seven-year-old gather and classify
stones based on multiple dimensions;
experiment with twigs to see what kind of
shape projects to the greatest horizontal
distance; observe the pattern in which
sand falls from a spinning bucket and
the smoothening effect of rubbing her
hands on rough concrete. The same child
was then able to arrive at explanations
for these phenomena, approximating the
concepts of centrifugal force and friction.
The point is that, for gifted children,
expensive and elaborate toys are not
necessary for independent observation,
exploration, and discovery.
One of the best investments you can
make in a gifted child is to spend time
reading with him. Most gifted children
learn to read rapidly and are avid readers.
Membership in a local library is a solid
long-term investment.
2) Academic/talent
search competitions
Talent search competitions such as the
Olympiads, IRIS-Intel and the National
Talent Search Exam provide a framework to
identify and direct gifted children’s
Most schools in India meet
only a few of the educational
needs of the gifted child. It
is up to parents to provide
the atmosphere required
to nurture and develop the
child’s talents outside the
school environment
Nurturing Gifted Children
September-October 201428 September-October 201426 1727September-October 2014

The National Institute of
Advanced Studies (NIAS)
is conducting a project on
the Identification of Gifted
Children.
high energy and ability. Research suggests
that participation in academic and talent
search competitions—particularly those
where small groups of children produce
projects—may increase creativity and
motivation in the short-term. Long-term
effects are less clear. These competitions
often serve as an entry-point to other
opportunities; above all, children
benefit from exposure to ideas and from
interactions with other high-ability
peers. For a child who finds school boring
and intellectual company scarce, these
competitions may serve an important
socio-emotional function.
3) Meet-up groups
Many gifted children experience
intellectual and emotional loneliness.
Identify other bright children in your area
and organise weekly or monthly meet-
ups. Since most schools do not practise
ability grouping, your child will value this
opportunity to interact with other children
with similar abilities and interests. Such
initiatives are especially essential in
the Indian context where there are no
clear opportunities for these children in
the formal educational system. Parent
networks have worked wonders for children
with disabilities and the same will be the
case for gifted children.
4) Networking with
other parents
Parent groups, both physical and
electronic, offer a useful platform to
discuss concerns, share ideas, and develop
tools for gifted advocacy.
5) Mentorship
Possibly the most useful resource for a
gifted child is a mentor outside school.
Parents who can identify a mentor via
their informal networks can help ensure
that the child stays motivated and has
opportunities to explore his interest area.
If individual mentorship is not available,
take your child to a talk or programme
anchored by experts from his interest area.
Aside from the arts, finding mentors
outside the formal education system is
not easy. Research suggests that the
most useful mentors are professionals
or researchers at the peak of their
careers, those in touch with cutting-edge
developments. For younger children still
developing basic content knowledge, well-
informed teachers or graduate students
may be more realistic mentorship options.
6) Websites and other
public-domain resources
with information and
activities
There are many resources in the public
domain with content and activities for
gifted children. Some of the more useful
websites include:
a. www.mensaforkids.org
b. www.ixl.com/Math
c. www.exquisite-minds.com
d. www.nayagam.wordpress.com/2007/06/03/arvind-guptas-website
e. www.nif.org.in/Grassroot_Innovations_Dr_Anil_Gupta
Nurturing Gifted Children
By Dr. Anitha Kurup and
Ms. Amita Basu
Gifted Education Programme,
NIAS, IISC Campus, Bangalore
For more information on the
project and the NIAS Gifted
Identification
programme, access
www.prodigy.net.in

September-October 201429 1729September-October 2014
Nature shares a unique relationship of
nurture with children. In the concrete
jungle of today’s world experience nature
and the outdoors in all its glory is most
often than not restricted to the confines of
your living room through your television
set. Children’s relationship with nature is
a fundamental part of their development,
allowing opportunities for discovery and
natural environmental experience. A 2009
report from the University of Essex Nature,
Childhood, Health and Life Pathways
states that there is growing evidence that
children’s contact and involvement with
nature and the physical activity involved
with this affects not only their well-being
but also their long-term health and life
pathways. The outdoors let children be
what they should be – carefree, callous and
courageous. But the outdoors make them
vulnerable too, vulnerable to attack by a
menace that kills a child somewhere in the
world every 30 seconds – mosquitoes. Over
two million cases of malaria are reported
annually in India alone.
Mosquitoes are important vectors (agents)
in the transmission ofdeadly diseases
like Dengue,Chickungunya&Malaria.Today
mosquitoes have become immune to many
repellents and the number of cases of
mosquito borne diseases being reported
are steadily on the rise. Mosquitoes affect
everyone, however infants & toddlers are
the most susceptible & vulnerable as they
are unable to protect themselves or even
ward off the pesky pests.
Whilst extreme measures are taken to
protect infants indoors by the use of nets,
coils, vaporisers & other home remedies
not much is possible when outdoors. While
creams & body lotions offer some relief,
their use for infants & toddlers is not
advisable. There is still no definitive data
to disprove the adverse effect that these
body applications could have on a child’s
skin and increasingly. However there are
growing fears of these topical applications
resulting in skin allergies and darkening of
the skin due to the use of insecticides and
other similar active ingredients in these
formulations.
Therefore after extensive research, Piramal
Enterprises has developed a product that
is 100% natural & Non Toxic and safe for
use in infants & toddlers. Jungle Magic
Mosquito Tattooz; are mosquito repellent
patches which can be stuck on your child’s
cap, socks, pram, stroller or even clothes.
They are medically coated with Natural
Citronella Oil. The smell of Citronella repels
mosquitoes and helps protect your kids
from the deadly mosquito borne diseases
like Dengue, Chikunguniya and Malaria.”
Besides their application on clothes &
other surfaces, these patches can also
be used as refills for the already popular
Jungle Magic Mosquito Banditz for use in
older kids.
Mosquito Tattoozcome in a range of
attractive colours & designs. They all
natural, non-toxic, child- safe, economical,
efficient and above all, ease to use.
A
dvertorial

For every student in the last year of school,
the issue of what comes next always
plays on his mind. Students who want
to go abroad for their undergraduation
spend most of their time deciding which
colleges to apply to, putting together their
applications and building up an attractive
profile.The process of applying to a college
can be long and arduous. Even after months
of hard work, nothing is certain. However,
this process can be made a lot quicker and
stress-free through Early Decision.
Early Decision (ED) is an application
process that essentially enables a student to
apply to a college in the US early and hear
back from the college before the Regular
Decisions roll in. However, this means that
he must commit to the college and must
accept admission if it is offered. Failure to
honour the commitment made to join the
school that has accepted him through ED
will result in his being rejected by most
other competitive universities.
How does ED work?
ED applications require no additional materials and are usually completed and sent in by
November (of Grade 12). The institute will inform you of the decision on your application
by mid-December. A student can submit only one ED application (since he is essentially
committing to one college); however, he is free to submit as many regular applications as
he wishes, to other institutes. If he gains admission into the college he applied early to,
applications to all other colleges must be withdrawn immediately.
Pros and Cons of Applying ED
So the question is should I apply ED or not? The table below should give students and
parents a good look into the pros and cons of applying ED.
Pros of ED
Applying ED allows you plenty of time on
your hands in the spring of your final year
if you are accepted; time that can be spent
beefing up your portfolio, focusing on
academics or preparing for life at the new
campus. An early guarantee of admission
also takes away the stress associated with
waiting!
Students and parents can dedicate their
finances to one college rather than
spending money applying to several
different colleges.
Applying ED itself adds something to your
résumé, as it shows the college that you
are very interested in the college and will
definitely enroll if admitted. In other
words, it can significantly increase your
chances of admission.
Cons of ED
Applying ED practically rules out all
chances of comparing financial aid
packages that different colleges offer. The
college is not likely to alter the package
since the student has no choice but to pay
up and enroll in the college.
A student may later regret the move to
apply early to a college if he finds out that
the college is not so attractive after all.
He cannot change his mind once he has
gained early admission.
Failure to keep up your side of the
bargain effectively ensures that no other
competitive college will admit you.
A fair few US colleges offer an ED programme (around 450), but students might not
always be ready at the time with their list of universities. A lot of intensive research is
required before a student knows exactly what and where he wants to study. Moreover,
parents need to ensure that they can afford the full fees that a college may charge.
Scholarships are very rare when it comes to ED applicants, and the financial aid packages
that the college offers may prove to be inadequate. In the unfortunate event that the
college is completely unaffordable, the student can break the ED contract and apply
elsewhere. In such a situation, or if you have not managed to gain admission via ED,
there will not be much time left to apply for other colleges. Hence, it is advisable to have
other applications ready in case the ED application is rejected.

Who should apply ED?
Students who apply ED will have to possess
an incredibly strong portfolio or show
achievement of some kind since the pool
of ED applicants is generally competitive,
more so than the regular pool at times.
Remember that ED does not automatically
relax the minimum admission criteria.
Geeta Iyer Guha, a college counsellor with
CollegeSource, Bangalore rightly points
out, “Experience shows that a college
will not compromise on its standards of
admission.”
From the college’s perspective, ED is
something that can help filter the most
passionate students, most of whom can
afford to pay the entirety of a college’s
fees. While most students are anxious
about getting into a college, and hence
choose to go the ED route, the reality is
that if they do their homework well, pick
good-fit colleges and apply intelligently,
they will get into quite a few schools in
April. ED takes that choice away.
Ideally, you should apply ED:
• When you are very sure that this
particular college is your first-choice
school
• If your sibling or parent went to the
same school
• When you have completed all of
the test requirements, and have an
academic profile that fits in with what
the school requires
• You are confident of paying the entire
fees of the school, even if you are not
offered a financial aid package
Guha cautions, “Early Decision should not
merely be used as a means of reducing
stress and ‘getting it over with’. Some
students assume that they have a good
chance of being admitted if they apply
early. But ED only works if the college’s
evaluation of the student’s profile indicates
that the student meets or exceeds
expectations—then the college has not
only found a student who is a good fit
but also one who is clearly committed
to attending the college. It’s a win-win
situation!”
‘Commitment’ and ‘absolute certainty’
define what Early Decision is all about.
If you are not certain about your choice
of college, but you still have a list with
multiple options ready, consider yourself
competitive against other applicants, and
want to apply early, then Early Action may
be the way to go.
Early Action (EA) is generally preferred
over ED due to its non-binding nature. If
you do come across a college that you like
with an EA programme, then it is highly
recommended that you take EA over ED.
With EA, it is possible to compare various
financial aid packages and choose to go to
a different college with no penalty even
after admission.
In EA, the student applies early to a
programme and will be informed of the
admission decision around January or
February. He has until the 1st of May
to consider and respond to the offer of
admission.
Don’t forget to check whether the college
that you are applying to offers EA or
Restrictive EA. With Restrictive EA,
candidates can apply to only one EA
college, and to no other for either ED or
EA. However, the applicant can still reject
an offer of admission if he applies through
Restrictive EA.
Good to know
Around 450 colleges offer
ED or EA, with a few
colleges offering both.
Early Decision vs. Early Action
ED is binding whereas EA is non-binding. The moment you apply ED to a college,
you have essentially committed to it. Once you gain admission into the college,
there is no turning back; you must confirm your acceptance immediately.
With ED, the student can only apply early to one college. However, a student can
apply early to any number of colleges that offer an EA programme.
ED requires one to withdraw any and all applications to other colleges once
admission is obtained; whereas with EA, even if the student gains admission into
a college, he can still apply to other colleges via the regular application processes,
if he so wishes.
ED does not allow you to compare financial aid packages. In other words, what
you see is what you get, though there is a little room for negotiation. EA allows
students to compare financial aid packages and choose the college that is
financially most viable.
To sum up, if you want to apply to a college through ED, you should have done your
research thoroughly, be absolutely sure that this particular college is your first choice,
and is affordable. Most importantly, make the right decision for yourself and do not apply
early just because others have!

There’s nothing quite like
experience, and that is why
reading this next section is
highly recommended! Akshita
Vaidyanathan from Singapore
applied Early Decision to Tufts
University. In this interview, she
talks about the choice she made,
her perspective on ED, as well
as the different kinds of ED that
Tufts offers.
What influenced you to apply ED to
Tufts?
After doing a lot of research and meeting
with an admissions officer from Tufts, I
felt like Tufts would be a great place for
me to go to university. Both the academic
and social environment seemed very
compelling to me and I knew that if I
was accepted I would be happy to go, so I
chose to apply ED.
Did you have a choice between Early
Decision and Early Action? If so, what
were the pros and cons of both for you?
I actually applied Early Decision II, which
is exactly the same as Early Decision I,
except that the deadline for applying is
at the same time as Regular Decision,
and you find out whether you got in, in
February rather than in April. This gave me
more time to decide whether I wanted to
make a binding commitment to one school.
At the same time, I could find out much
earlier whether I had got in. However, one
of the disadvantages to applying Early
Decision II is that you have to apply to all
your other schools as well and if you get
in to your early decision school (which
I did) it feels like you wasted all that
energy writing all the other applications. I
can’t speak about Early Action personally,
but I know that people who apply Early
Action and get in feel secure that they
have somewhere to go, but still have the
opportunity to apply elsewhere to try their
luck.
Do you think Early Decision gave you
an advantage over other applicants to
Tufts?
I have worked in Admissions at Tufts, as
a Tour Guide and a Summer Intern, and
after talking to admissions officers I know
that the only advantage ED gives you is
that it shows the university that you really
want to go there. While that in itself adds
something to your application other than
that, you pretty much have the same
chance of getting in as you would through
Regular Decision.
Why would you advise a student to
apply for Early Decision or not?
If you are set on a particular school and
know for sure that you want to go there,
then I would recommend applying ED
because it will take a lot of stress off.
You don’t have to wait until April to find
out which school you are going to go
to—you only have to wait until December
or February depending on which Early
Decision you apply—I or II. Additionally, I
know many people who applied to several
schools and were very confused choosing
between them when it came down to it in
April, so an advantage of Early Decision is
that the choice is made for you. However,
be careful—be very certain about the
school you want to attend, do not just
pick somewhere that has a good reputation
or you know has good academics. Look at
everything, from the social environment
and people who go there, to weather, to
whether it is in a city or not. Everything
matters—after all, you are going to be
living there for four years of your life.
- Siddharth V.J., 16 years, Singapore

Brainwonders has revolutionized the
concept of educational counseling through
it’s DMIT—Dermatoglyphics Multiple
Intelligence Test. Involving the study of
the pattern of the skin (dermal) ridges on
a person’s toes, fingers and soles of feet, it
shows the genetic link between our fingers
and intrinsic qualities and talents. Using
Dermatoglyphics analysis, experts can
discover the inborn intelligence of each
child and the best way for him to learn.
This test, which combines neurobiology,
psychology, embryology, neuroscience and
genetics is scientifically proven and has an
accuracy rate of more than 90%.
DMIT can be used at any age:
Toddlers (ages 1-4)
From birth to about age three, there are a
vast number of connections and collections
being recorded in the brain.
Benefit of DMIT analysis: Knowing a
toddler’s potential at an early age helps
parents decide on parenting styles and
educational methods to be followed.
Children (ages 4-12)
From ages three to 12, the brain begins to
prune the excess synapses in an attempt
to organise, and eliminate what is not
necessary.
Benefits of DMIT analysis: At this age,
children are curious to learn and can
absorb more than they will when they are
older. Discovering their learning styles and
areas of dominant intelligence can indicate
what courses and activities they should
spend more time on.
Teenagers and young adults (ages
12-25)
The teenage years consist of more
aggressive pruning as the brain begins to
specialise and build an identity.
Benefits of DMIT analysis: Discovering
learning styles at this age can enhance
one’s learning experience. It can also guide
the student on what type of courses he
should take, what further education he
should pursue.
Adults (age 25+)
Adulthood ushers in a pruning plateau,
where some connections are diminished
and others are enhanced.
Benefits of DMIT analysis: Understanding
one’s areas of intelligence can help an
adult make appropriate career decisions.
Understanding more about oneself can
help the adult communicate better and
build better relationships. Employers
can also use Dermatoglyphics analysis to
discover the strengths and weaknesses of
prospective employees.
Discover your child’s innate characteristics,
dominant and preferred learning styles and
hidden talent and potential. This will help
you identify his strengths and weaknesses,
and also think about possible career paths.
Why use the DMIT?
Parents invest a lot of time and effort in
sending their children to many classes,
regardless of their talents and interest
levels. Not only does this demand financial
investment, but is often, also a source of
stress for children. How do we know that
they are absorbing everything they learn,
or that they even have the requisite talent
to succeed at that particular skills? This
what the DMIT answers.
Most of us have little sense of our talents
and strengths, much less the ability to
build our lives around us. We are blind
to our weaknesses and spend our lives
in mediocrity, while our strengths lie
dormant and neglected. The DMIT is a
revolutionary system that can help an
individual identify his talents and build
them into strengths.
How can I use the DMIT for my
child?
The ideal education imparted to the child,
from a young age, should be holistic and
facilitate the involvement of multiple-
intelligence based learning. A complete
education should involve creativity
and its application as well as analytical
thinking. Parents need to recognize the
latent talents within their children before
they can harness these and focus them
appropriately. They can use the DMIT for
this.
A
dvertorial
The DMIT
- at What Age should I Take it?
www.brainwonders.in

Visual-spatial intelligence, one of
the nine intelligences mentioned
in Howard Gardner’s Theory of
Multiple Intelligences, is the ability to
visualise with the mind’s eye. Children
with visual-spatial intelligence are
able to visualise and interpret their
surroundings with ease, judging the
shapes and sizes of, and relationships
between the objects surrounding
them.They see and observe ‘actively’,
recognising patterns, interpreting data
and analysing details. Generally, people
who are strong in this intelligence are
good at remembering images and like
to draw and paint.They are also very
good at reading maps and have a good
sense of direction.
It’s not what you look
at that matters, it’s
what you see.”
-Henry David Thoreau

How do I know if my child is visual-
spatially intelligent?
A child who has strong visual-spatial
intelligence:
• Recognises patterns not normally
perceived by other children. These
could be in nature (such as comparing
a lamp post to a tree), similar looking
or sounding words within a sentence,
in numerical problems, or any other
field.
• Observes things around him and
imbues them with meaning. He
perceives them in a way that is
different from the way others do and
looks for details.
• Is good at puzzles.
• Is good with directions.
• Has a strong and vivid imagination.
For example, he can view things in
his mind in different ways and from
different angles. He can thus draw
a table or chair upside down or in
different positions easily.
• Is able to remember and identify
people by their faces instead of their
names.
• Is able to think of banal things in
abstract ways, thus adding a new
perspective or changing the way in
which it is viewed.
• Is proficient in visual thinking. He
is able to represent ideas better in
the form of diagrams, charts and
graphs rather than in paragraphs of
information.
• Has an advanced grasp of language
and a larger vocabulary than his
peers, and is able to convey thoughts
through words as well as through art.
• Is good at subjects that involve
figures and diagrams, like geometry
and physics.
- Mithila Iyer
Activities to hone this intelligence
• Play memory games with your child,
such as arranging a number of objects
on a tray, allowing your child to view
it for thirty seconds, scrambling up
the arrangement and then asking him
to arrange them in the same order as
before.
• Provide different activities for him to
do and allow him to choose what he
is interested in. These may range from
giving him a blank paper to unleash
his imagination through drawing to
asking him to describe what he sees
and how he perceives it when he is in
the supermarket.
• Introduce him to paintings, sculptures
and works of visual art. For example,
take your child to see paintings and
sculptures of different artists so
he can compare styles, and theatre
performances so that he is exposed
to various visual art forms and learns
to appreciate the nuances. The next
step would be recreating these in his
own way.
• Encourage him to interact with
other visual-spatially intelligent
children, and perhaps on joint
projects. Interactive programmes
with renowned artists could also help
enhance his degree of visual-spatial
intelligence.
• Encourage him to imagine. Play
story-telling games—give him a
scenario and ask him to visualise and
describe what happens next or to
represent the situation visually.
Using visual-spatial intelligence to
enrich learning
Once you identify your child has visual-
spatial intelligence, you can then help
him use it to enrich his process of
learning in all areas. Children with this
intelligence are not strong at rote learning
and memorising large paragraphs of
information. Rather, they are instinctively
good at representing facts and information
through bar diagrams, pie charts, and flow
charts. They find it easier to memorise
and remember things that are represented
diagrammatically. Encourage such children
to use images and diagrams to learn. They
can learn subjects they find difficult by
representing the facts and information
diagrammatically, and by using mind maps.
Career matches for visual-spatially
intelligent children
• Architect/interior designer
• Graphic designer
• Photographer
• Astronomer
• Pilot
• Engineer
• Filmmaker
• Artist
With inputs from Mr. Srinivasan,
Head, GEAR School, Bangalore.

Image courtesy:VocaBOOM
Transitions

An awkward and problematic
phase in every child’s life is early
adolescence.This is when her
thoughts and opinions begin
to take shape. She questions
things with the intention to
understand—to make sense of
the bewildering changes that
seem to be taking place in her,
till now, little cocooned world.
Tweens are at a confusing stage
in life.Along with a developing
mind is a developing body—more
difficult to deal with. Puberty hits
harder than a storm.As if dealing
with a changing, unfamiliar body
was not enough, children cannot
take school lightly anymore,
either. It is time to wake up and
hit the books! Subjects get more
comprehensive, teachers become
stricter, and the syllabi, vaster.The
pampering, the spoon-feeding,
and the coddling must stop.This
is middle school, the preparatory
ground for the complexities of
high school.
Transitions

Placing middle school
in context
In India, grades 6 to 9 are commonly
considered middle school. In the academic
order, it is between primary school and
high school. Children in middle school
are usually between the ages of 10 to 14.
It is an important stage in school life—
academically, emotionally and socially. The
transitions and changes that occur during
this time include those related to puberty
(changing body image, sex education
and awareness), peer pressure, an
increased focus on building skills through
extracurricular activities and a heavier
academic workload.
Leaving primary school behind
According to Nirmala Newton, Middle
School Co-ordinator at Lady Andal
Venkatasubba Rao School in Chennai,
“Children below the age of ten are
pampered. There is no responsibility where
studies are concerned, and portions are
relatively small. There is no division of
subjects, such as science into physics,
chemistry, and biology. But in middle
school, there is a sudden jump—a larger
syllabus needs to be covered. Children
are introduced to new topics as well as
complexities in topics they have already
studied. The initial few months of middle
school are tough. The children need time
to build focus, after which they settle
down and start concentrating.”
Primary school provides a sheltered,
comfortable environment for a child.
Middle school, on the other hand,
exposes the child to new challenges—
she learns to handle her progressively
increasing responsibilities and her quest
for independence. Of course, it is also
a stepping-stone to another extremely
important stage in academic life: high
school.
Academic changes in middle school
Independent studying. Research. Projects.
All these come into sharper focus once
your child enters middle school. Hardly
anyone takes to the academic rigours of
middle school immediately. So be patient
if you feel that your child is taking time
to come up to speed. Subjects are more
complex and challenge children to think
and work hard. Examinations also become
One thing my son
is learning to cope
with is that while in
primary school the
teachers were less
strict, here [middle
school], they are
far more demanding
and less tolerant
of misbehaviour.
Simultaneously, he is
entering adolescence,
so he is going through
many changes and
looking at things
quite differently. He is
developing a point of
view.
– Jayanthi Badrinath
of her 12-year old son
regular at this stage, and marks start to
count.
“The most important academic change at
this point is the branching of subjects.
Science splits into physics, chemistry, and
biology; social sciences become history,
civics, and geography. It is important for
them to be aware of current affairs as well.
Subjects also demand more thought,”
explains Newton.
In primary school, children tend to look
up to their teachers for everything,
respecting and loving them. Students are
coddled, and things are relatively informal.
However, in middle school, teachers tend
to become a shade stricter. They do not
handhold as much, and gradually become
facilitators in the learning process rather
than instructors. This is because children
themselves have become more capable;
and while they might not know it yet, the
teachers definitely do.
Academically, middle school brings about
many positive changes as well. There is so
much more to learn! While this might seem
a bit daunting at first, the variation will
soon begin to interest children. Practical
applications of things they learn in class
will aid in better understanding. And now
is really the time when a child can fully
explore what interests her. For example,
physics isn’t just how and why gravity
works, but what makes it do so, how this
knowledge can be applied, etc. Children
can delve as deep as they like into their
favourite topics.
Adjustment to this new way of learning
may take some time, but teachers do help
in smoothening out the transition as much
as possible.
Social and emotional changes in middle
school
Jayanthi Pradeepkumar, the mother of
three daughters, feels that her sixth-
grader keeps her emotions to herself and
does not express them aloud. “She feels
embarrassed to show an outward display
of emotion, although she has no such
problems with expressing her opinion!”
exclaims Pradeepkumar. Like many children
her age, Pradeepkumar’s daughter is at
an age where she considers the display of
emotions a sign of weakness.
Complicating this phase are issues of peer
pressure, changing body image and the
struggle to cast off parental influence and
become more independent. Tweens start
exploring new friendships, understanding
their bodies and experimenting. As
their bodies change, their mind-set also
changes, as do their opinions. All this
might make an adolescent difficult to cope
with, but keep in mind that this phase
is transitory and as your tween becomes
more comfortable with herself and her
identity, things will stabilise again. This
includes academic performance, how she
develops relationships with her peers and
how she copes with the changes in middle
school—it takes time so be patient and yet
ready to help out.
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