1. A Real Mum
Nancy
From the moment I held you in my arms I knew God had sent me a daughter she told me
sitting on the end of my bed when I was about ten years old. I have a story to tell you she
said, her hands shaking a little as she took my hand in hers and looked into my eyes. I sat
fascinated as she told me all about the lady who loved and cared for hundreds of children
but never had one of her own. I could hardly breathe as she told me about the day the lady
walked into the nun’s parlour and heard the words "unwanted child". I picked the child
up and held her in my arms she told me and at that moment the tiny baby opened its eyes
and looked at me. It was a precious little girl. She squeezed my hand. That was you my
darling and the lady was me. Oh Susan I love you so much but I am not your real mother.
She waited for my response. I didn't understand at all. Then I smiled and looked at her.
But you are my mum?
Oh yes darling.
And you love me and we will be together forever and ever
Of course sweetheart, I am your mum and you are my daughter
I love you mummy I said before settling down to sleep. Honestly, what was all the fuss
about? I was loved beyond measure and knew it. I was happy to be Nancy's child.
Yesterday I watched another episode of Long Lost Families and ended up as usual
surrounded by soggy wet tissues as I cried with joy for the reunited families. In all my life
I will never forget the day I saw my mother for the first time. I wish I could tell you it was
the beautiful experience like those on the programme but unfortunately it wasn't. I grew
up happy to be Nancy's child yet as the years went by I began to ask questions of my father

2. who I still saw. The pain in Nancy's eyes was too much to bear if I asked about Betty so I
never mentioned it to her.
Betty
Many years later when I gave birth to my daughter I thought about both my mums. Betty,
did she remember me on my birthday and Nancy who was my mother in every sense of
the word. Outside half an hour early in the maternity hospital there she was, mum,pacing
up and down the corridor waiting to see her granddaughter. Although I had never
managed to track Betty down I knew some family names and it was with great sadness I
saw her name in the papers on the loss of her son. At that moment I knew where and when
my mother was going to be in one weeks’ time. I stood and held my breath as I watched
her emerge from the funeral car. My mother, so fragile and heartbroken. I stood and
watched her my heart aching to rush up and hold her. I never took my eyes off her except
to look at the people surrounding her who I knew were my brother and sisters. I left
quickly knowing this was neither the time nor the place but every single part of me hurt. I
glanced back at her one more time and whispered bye mum before leaving and praying
this would not be the first and last time I saw her. I was one of the lucky ones and only a
few weeks later I knocked on her door and my mother held me in her arms.
Like many others before her I had been taken from her because it would have brought
shame to the family and no she had never forgotten me. We talked for hours that day and
for the rest of her life we continued to see each other often, talk on the phone and go
shopping together. My brother and sisters were kind and welcoming and I am still in touch
with them now.
As grateful and wonderful as it was to meet my lovely mum Betty and be part of her life, I
also want to talk today about adoptive parents.
I am not your real mum! I can still hear her sitting telling me those words now fifty years
later. I cansee the pain in her eyes and her hands which were shaking. I was so frightened

3. she told me many years later in case you wouldn't love me anymore and would be angry
with me. One day I thought you might find your real mother and not want to stay with me
anymore.
Oh mum, I hope I put you right there and then. To all adoptive mothers out there, yes you
are real mothers in every single way. You held us in your arms when we cried. You walked
a million miles up and down the room when we wouldn't sleep rocking and soothing us
until we eventually slept leaving you with an exhaustion you never could have
imagined. You stood at the school gates and cried because you were handing us over to
strangers and spent the whole day looking at the clock worrying whether or not we had
settled. When eventually we came skipping out of the classroom your heart broke because
we'd had a wonderful time and we didn't miss you one little bit. You sat up in bed
pretending to read because we were grown up now and out late and you tried to pretend
you weren't waiting up for us. Yes right!
Suddenly my mind goes back to the freezing cold winter about thirty years ago. The snow
falling heavily, temperatures below zero. I was sitting on the bus coming home from work
wondering if I would ever feel warm ever again. The windows were steamed up and I
wiped a small section with my wool gloves so I could see when I was near my bus stop. And
there you were. My mother. Nancy. Standing at a freezing cold bus stop with a hot water
bottle each under your coat to walk home with me. Dear God I would give anything at all
to have you with me for just one more day so I could thank you for that. You see I don't
remember doing so at the time. I took for granted all those little things you did for me, I
was so used to them.
I love you mum Betty and I am so very grateful that you gave me just what I needed the
day you held me in your arms and said you were so sorry and that you had never forgotten
me.
I love you mum, Nancy, a real mother in every single sense of the word. One of God's
special souls who soothed and calmed hundreds of children in your lifetime as a Nanny at
the orphanage. I thank God every day that I was the one you got to keep.
I hope God gave you both a High 5 when you returned home.

4. For every mother out there, I have written this poem for you. With all my heart I pray that
those of you who had their children taken from them have found comfort in life, kindness
and understanding. I also hope that you know, without you, people like my mum would
never have been a mother.
To all those who finally held a child in their arms that was a gift not only from the birth
mother but from God, believe me you are, and always will be, a mother.
To you from me with love.
A Real Mother
God wept and sent the Angels, to comfort those who cried
Their children taken sadly, from the cradle at their side
When the world showed little comfort, God moved gently near
Held them in his loving arms, eased away their fear
What will happen to my daughter? Who will love her now?
Will I see my son again, when will it be and how?
Will my child forgive me? Will they ever know?
The pain and loss I always feel, how much I loved them so?
The emptiness inside me, that never goes away,
The constant dream of holding them for just another day
Don't worry child, God whispered, I have the very thing
I created her for you so that your heart could once more sing
She has the purest heart of gold, she never will forget

5. The sacrifice you made for her, the child you never met
She'll hold your child in loving arms, and as they grow each day
She too will be a Mother, in every single way
Always there to listen, to teach yet listen too
So thankful now to be a mum and so I say to you
Thank you for your sacrifice, your gift was one of love
For every child born here on earth, is sent from God above
You carried your small baby, so another that could not
Could be a Mother too one day, and I have not forgot
You're all my special children, I'm closer than you know
I hear your every prayer, and then, I hold you when you're low
There is no real or not real, you’re a person like no other
For when that child's placed in your arms, you are, my child, a Mother