This document provides 9 tips for delivering an amazingly boring presentation:
1. Start by following convention, reading from a lengthy note, or making apologies.
2. Continue in the middle by not allowing audience interaction, speaking in a monotone voice, and using filler words.
3. End by making excuses for not preparing well, finishing with a lengthy question and answer session where you re-explain slides, or exceeding the allotted time for your presentation.
2. Namaste to the
chairperson, namaste to
the distinguished guests,
namaste to you all, namaste to
the people who invited me here
to speak, namaste and
namaste for all this who I
couldn’t mention.
#1Start by following convention
3. Alright,
let me take out this
note - written by my
secretary. The note is only
around 30 pages therefore I
request you to pay
attention to every
word.
#2Start by reading out from a note
4. Hi everyone.
Please forgive me. I
didn’t get enough time to
prepare this one. In fact, I
don’t even know what I’m
going to talk about. Really
sorry about that.
#3Start by making apologies
5. #4Go one-way traffic
Deliver your
presentation without
giving the audience any
chance to interact. The effect
is even greater if you slide-
read or read your notes
all the way.
6. #5Speak in a monotone
Talk in a
monotone, audience
will feel a constant drone
like buzz in their ears and
will eventually lull into
the sleep mode.
7. I mean you
can sort of
understand this you
know concept of ummm
equality between you know
two genders is ummm
never going to you
know work.
#6Use filler words
8. #7End by making excuses
If you didn’t
understand my
presentation, I’m really
sorry. I should have
prepared for your level. I
can happily email you
the slides.
9. #8Ending with a Q&A
Umm, what was
your question? Let me
go back to slide no. 52.
Does that answer your
question? I can read it again
if you want me to. Hope
that clears your
query.
10. I know my time
is up but I still have
37 slides to go and 13
mins to rant. So don’t
sleep yet. I’ll need your
30 more mins.
#9End by exceeding the given time
13. following convention
reading form note
making apologies
Start by
go one way traffic
speak in monotone
use filler words
making excuses
finishing with Q&A
exceeding the time
Middle End by
14. Follow those 9 tips and
be amazingly boring!!!
Pics: Internet