10. Goal: Get off
the “Triangle”
Take one act of power Empower Others
Stay in the game
Give up the right to be right
Victim Caretaker
Persecutor
Deserter
11. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
WE COMMUNICATE
The sender
Message sent
Context
Position
Style
Emotion
Words used
12. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE
COMMUNICATE
The receiver
Response
Choice
Meaning
Feelings
Meaning
Personal filters
Message received
16. 16
• Always - do a self check
• Use “I” statements
• Make it specific
• Make it as impersonal as possible
• Make it goal/action oriented
• Ensure understanding
• Make sure it is controllable
• Tailor it to fit context/situation/person
General feedback principles
18. Receiving feedback
• Say “thank you” first
• Take time if you need
• “Own it” - find something to learn about and
for yourself
• Ok to ask clarifying questions - when you are
clear and grounded
19. ▪ Live feedback - can be a dialog, questions, longer discussion., Most helpful
for more crucial conversations
▪ Email/Slack etc. - Caution! Feedback most always should be impersonal and
focused. Craft it carefully
▪ 1 x 1’s - both manager and direct report should offer feedback regularly
▪ Peer/team feedback - the holy grail! Try doing it as a team to socialize it in
first.
ULTIMATE GOAL: EVERYONE GIVES FEEDBACK TO EACH
OTHER, ALL OF THE TIME!
Understanding context
20. Feedback grab bag
1. Can it be a dialog instead?
2. What about feedback to my manager? To a
peer? To a senior executive?
3. What about email/slack/live/etc.?
4. Is it ok to give sandwich feedback?
21. 1. (Ask questions/get clear/ground)
2. State the purpose
• I wanted to talk with because I feel disconnected...
• The project is a bit delayed...
3. State the data (what I experience/see...)
• “Here is what I saw…”
• “When this came in 2 weeks late…”
4. State the impact and/or inference
• “My experience is...my judgment is...”
• “I am frustrated…”
• “This causes me stress…”
5. Come to agreement/make a suggestion/request
• “ I would ask…” “So we agree..”
P.D.I.A.
23. 5 STEPS TO AN ALIGNED TEAM
1. Why does your team exist?
2. Where are you going? What is the future that is
different from today?
3. Who do you need, doing what work to get there?
4. What structure and process do you need to execute
the work?
5. How will you coach your team?
26. Vision/Compelling Purpose/WHY
• What’s your vision/comp
purpose for your team?
• What does the future look like?
• How it will feel?
• How it will operate?
• Strategy and structure?
28. Building the right team
• Given your goals, who will you need doing what?
• New hires?
• Shift roles and responsibilities?
• What’s the right structure to support this?
What is the culture you expect?
29. Managing individuals has two dimensions
1. The business and technical aspects of their job
2. The behaviors and cultural attributes you expect
for their role, including Collective cultural
attributes
What is your answer for #2?
30. Team Agreements or Norms
•What behaviors will hold and sustain your team?
•What can you hold each other accountable to?
•What kind of culture would you like to create?
31. 5 STEPS TO AN ALIGNED TEAM
1. Why does your team exist?
2. Where are you going? What is the future that is
different from today?
3. Who do you need, doing what work to get there?
4. What structure and process do you need to execute
the work?
5. How will you coach your team?
