Composition exercises support students in constructing more complex, sophisticated writing, as required by the Common Core Georgia Performance Standards.
The first two lessons of Georgia Common Core Coach, CCGPS Edition, Composition provide the foundation for the remaining lessons. With the first lesson walking students through the writing process from start to finish, and the second lesson taking them through the entire research process. The second unit of the book offers lessons on specific writing types that are outlined in the Common Core Georgia Performance Standards.
4. Lesson
1The Writing
Process
Think about your favorite authors. How do
they create those books you love to read?
Do they just sit with a computer and type out
whatever comes to mind, hoping that readers
will find it interesting? Of course not! Good
writers follow a writing process that helps
them craft and refine their ideas.
In this lesson, you will learn about the
individual steps of the writing process. As you
explore what happens in each stage, you will
look at an example of another student’s
writing to see what he is doing well and
where he needs to improve. You will also get
to practice each step on your own as you
respond to a writing prompt. Additionally, you
will learn some important skills for using style
and language in your writing.
By the end of the lesson, you should have
a renewed understanding of what it takes to
create strong and powerful writing.
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5. What Is the Writing Process?
1. Brainstorm
When you brainstorm, list ideas about a topic to get your
writing started. As you jot down ideas, remind yourself of
your purpose and consider how your audience will receive
your response. Then begin to think about details you might
include in your writing.
2. Plan
As you plan your writing, decide on a thesis statement
and then gather and organize your ideas in written form, such
as in an outline or graphic organizer. Consider which details
will best support your thesis. Some forms of writing, such
as a personal narrative, do not contain a thesis statement.
If you are writing a narrative, you will decide on
your plot, characters, and setting at this stage.
3. Draft
Next, create a draft by writing an organized text with an
introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Carefully
select language to convey your ideas in interesting ways,
and make sure that your sentences and paragraphs
follow a logical order.
Writing is a vehicle for you to show what you know about a topic or text. In order
to get credit for having great ideas, though, you must convey them in a focused,
sophisticated manner. A well-written piece is the result of careful forethought and
planning.
As you look at a writing prompt or assignment for the first time, your task may
seem daunting. You may think: How do I explain everything that’s going on in my
head in a way that my readers will understand? How do I show connections from
one idea to another? On top of all of that, I have to make sure my writing uses
correct spelling, grammar, and mechanics, too?
It seems like a very tall order! That’s why the best writers break their writing
process into smaller steps. Each step has different elements for you to focus on
so you will never get too overwhelmed by the task ahead of you. No matter what
kind of writing you do, allow the following steps to guide you in composing a
thoughtful and polished written piece.
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6. 4. Revise
When you revise, look for ways to make your writing’s
structure, ideas, and language all work toward the same goal.
It is often helpful to have someone else review your writing in
order to get additional feedback for your final draft.
5. Edit
To edit your writing, read it carefully to find and correct any
errors in standard English conventions, including grammar,
spelling, punctuation, and capitalization.
6. Publish
Finally, publish your writing so that other people can read
what you have written. Publishing can mean anything from
handing in a piece to your teacher to entering an
online writing contest.
Write about a time when you had to make a difficult decision. Describe the
situation, the choices that were available, the decision you made, and the
consequences of your actions. Looking back, would you have acted differ-
ently if given the chance? Use details and examples to explain and support
your ideas.
Writing Assignment
The following prompt asks you to write a personal narrative. Refer to this prompt
as you work through the steps of the writing process.
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7. Brainstorm
Brainstorming is the very first step in the writing process. You won’t be doing
much actual writing of your composition at this stage. When you brainstorm, you
activate your thoughts by writing down whatever comes into your mind about your
topic. As you let your imagination go to work, some of your best ideas may emerge.
The prompts you encounter will vary. Some will be very specific, such as: Write
about an important person in your life. Other prompts will be more general and will
require more analytical thinking, such as: Make an argument for a policy you think
would improve your school. Occasionally, you will write about a topic of your choice.
In each case, you should brainstorm to decide how to approach the topic. Your goal
is to narrow a broad topic to a specific topic that you can write well about.
Brainstorming can be a messy process. You may jot down a couple of ideas,
cross one out, and then scribble a new idea in the margin. That’s okay—it means
your mind is hard at work. Don’t worry too much about what you write during this
step. Instead, write down all of your thoughts. That will make it easier for you to
develop your ideas. Think of it this way: as you write, you are building a written text
from the ground up. You don’t begin by making the finishing touches; you begin by
deciding what kind of structure you want to build.
Let’s walk through the process by studying a mentor text. Look at how a student
brainstormed for the following prompt.
Write about a time you faced a challenge that you overcame. Describe the situa-
tion, the specific obstacles you faced, how you overcame the challenge, and
what you learned as a result. Use details and examples to explain and support
your ideas.
Brainstorm a Topic
To choose and narrow your topic, you can do several things: freewrite, make lists,
jot down words, create tables, or develop webs.
Here’s how the student brainstormed to choose a topic for his personal narrative.
Topic: A time I faced a challenge What I Learned as a Result
1. Losing my dog in fifth grade I was so sad. Sure that Ollie was gone
forever. Angry about the gate being
broken. Ollie came home. I fixed the gate.
2. Having surgery on my knee A terrible situation. But things kept
happening to make me feel better. Ended
well even with pain and frustration.
3. Moving to a new house Didn’t want to move to Chestnut St.
Thought I’d never see my friends.
Learned to make plans ahead of time.
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8. Brainstorm Supporting Ideas
Once you have chosen the topic you’ll use to respond to the prompt, brainstorm
some more. As you select ideas related to that topic, make sure that you have
enough material to complete your writing task.
The student decided to use a graphic organizer to brainstorm
ideas for the topic he chose.
Topic: Challenge I Faced
What I Learned: Having a knee injury was really
awful, but things kept happening to boost my
spirits. Even with all the pain and frustration,
it was satisfying to help myself recover.
Event: My teammates
came to visit in the
hospital.
My response: I felt
encouraged by them
and my family.
Event: During a basketball
game, I collapsed with a
knee injury and had to have
surgery.
My response: I was upset
because my basketball
season was ruined.
Event: I worked hard to
recover from the surgery.
My response: I felt a lot
of physical pain and
frustration.
Event: My team won the
division championship.
My response: My
spirits were boosted.
Event: My sister was
kind to me.
My response: Her
actions cheered me up.
Support In the brainstorming
stage, writers can jot down any
ideas, details, or events they think
might be important to their topic.
This student includes descriptions
of events and his responses to
them. Draw a star next to the
event that will probably appear
first in his personal narrative.
Topic The prompt asks students to
describe what they learned as a
result of a challenge. Circle the sen-
tence that contributes to the answer.
Details Many of the event
details that writers collect during
the brainstorming process will be
developed throughout the writing
process. For example, what kinds of
additional details might be added
to “My sister was kind to me”?
Writing Assignment
Now it’s time for you to brainstorm for the prompt on page 7 that you will develop
into a personal narrative throughout this lesson. Use a graphic organizer, a list, or
another method to brainstorm ideas for your writing. You may use your own paper.
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9. Plan
In the planning stage, you set a direction for your composition. This means
deciding exactly what you want to say about your topic and how you will say it. To
do this, you should take the various ideas you came up with while brainstorming
and then organize them into a plan that will guide you as you write.
When you plan your writing, first you need to decide what your thesis, or state-
ment of your main idea, will be. What idea do you want to convey to your reader?
The thesis indicates to your readers what information the rest of the response will
communicate. As your writing progresses, you may find yourself reevaluating your
thesis. This is normal, but it’s a good idea to make sure you are fairly happy with
your thesis early in the process. Different kinds of writing require different kinds of
thesis statements, as shown in the chart below.
In a/an . . . Your thesis will . . .
response to literature present a concise analysis of some part
of a work of literature.
informative text state in a claim the results of your
research.
argument assert your position and preview your
main supporting reasons.
personal narrative present a topic or experience and
provide a statement of reflection.
The next step in planning is organizing your ideas. One way to organize is to
create an outline that clearly and briefly describes what you plan to include in the
different parts of your composition. A typical outline includes headings and pieces
of information below them, often with Roman numerals, letters of the alphabet,
numbers, or bullets to label individual ideas. Once you have created an outline, it
will keep you focused on your topic as you write.
When you develop an outline or any other type of plan for your writing, you do
not have to write in complete sentences. Feel free to record your ideas in words and
phrases. You are making a map to use as the basis for a stronger structure when
you write a draft. In the draft stage and the stages following it, you can flesh out
your paragraphs with well-constructed sentences.
Continue to think about who will be reading your writing (audience) and why you
are writing (purpose) when you form your thesis and develop your writing plan.
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10. Here is an outline the student prepared to organize the ideas he plans to include
in his personal narrative.
Thesis In the thesis statement
of a personal narrative, the writer
should introduce the experience he
or she is writing about. Is this a
strong thesis? Why or why not?
Supporting Details In an
outline, you jot down notes about
the supporting details you will
use to support your main points.
In a personal narrative, you will
want to use descriptive details to
make the events come alive for
the reader. Circle two places in
the outline where you can
imagine the author developing
descriptive detail.
Conclusion In the conclusion
of this personal narrative, the stu-
dent will reflect on what he has
learned from the experience. Draw
a box around the statement that
shows that the student is already
beginning to gather ideas about a
reflection on his injury.
Writing Assignment
Now it’s time for you to plan your personal narrative in response to the prompt
on page 7. Using the thesis statement and the supporting details you generated
during your brainstorming, organize your thoughts on a separate sheet of paper.
Use an outline form you are comfortable with.
I. Introduction
Thesis After my basketball injury, my life changed
in unexpected ways.
• I pass the ball to Geraldo and he shoots;
everyone is excited.
• I fall to the floor in pain.
• I hear my uncle’s voice call for ambulance.
II. Support
Idea #1 I wake up in hospital confused.
• I learn about surgery during phone
conversation.
• Mom cries.
• I feel terrible about basketball.
Idea #2 People respond to my surgery.
• doctor visits
• friends visit, make jokes, talk about winning
• Mom and other family often there
Idea #3 I spend a lot of time working to heal
my knee.
• I feel a lot of pain—sweat, nausea, blurry
vision
Idea #4 I go home from hospital and keep
working.
• exercises
• moving on crutches
Idea #5 Each time I was discouraged, something
made me feel better.
• team winning
• little sister being nice to me
III. Conclusion
• Team went on to win next game without me.
• I got to attend the game.
• I had a sense of satisfaction—knew that I had
been changed by experience.
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11. Draft
In the drafting stage of writing, you form all of your ideas as well-constructed
sentences and paragraphs with your audience and purpose in mind. These para-
graphs must be organized in a logical way, or readers might not understand what
you are trying to communicate. Luckily, you have already collected and organized
many ideas in your writing plan. Now it is a matter of turning that plan into a
well-developed response. Almost all writing you do will use a simple framework,
including an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.
• In the introduction, you clearly and briefly tell your reader what you are writing
about. A strong introduction could grab the reader’s attention by asking an
intriguing question, by defining a term, or by providing an interesting fact or
idea. Usually, an introduction contains a thesis statement.
• In the body of your writing, you tell your readers what you want them to know
about your topic, using facts, details, examples, or quotations in structured
paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one key idea, followed by specific
details supporting or illustrating that idea. You will want each of your para-
graphs, in turn, to support the overall main idea of your writing. Paragraphs that
wander too far from your thesis will distract your reader, weakening the piece.
Details may be arranged in chronological order, by cause and effect, by
problem and solution, from general to specific, or in a variety of other ways.
Choose the organizational method that makes the most sense for the kind of
information you are presenting. Narratives often rely on chronological order to
establish a sense of how events took place, while scientific or technical texts
may be arranged by cause and effect to show how particular outcomes were
reached. Arguments tend to have the strongest supporting ideas early on in the
text, with weaker ideas toward the end of the text.
Within each paragraph, your ideas should flow easily. To help one idea flow
into the next, use transitions such as first, next, however, after, additionally,
because, and therefore to make connections. As you write your body para-
graphs, try to use a variety of sentence types. Mixing short sentences with
complex sentences will help avoid monotony and keep your readers engaged.
• Finally, a conclusion wraps up your composition by summarizing what you
have said about your topic and perhaps by giving your reader something
further to think about. For example, if you are writing a personal narrative,
your conclusion may provide final details about an event as well as your own
reflections on the event. In an argument, your conclusion will reassert your
position and make a final appeal to the reader to accept your argument.
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12. As I raced down the court with the ball, I quickly
scanned my eyes to my left and saw my cousin Geraldo
leaping into the air with his arms raised. As usual, Geraldo’s
timing and mine were just about perfect. I took one quick step
to the left and passed the ball, which Geraldo caught and shot
in one fluid movement, sinking the basket. The fans in the
gymnasium, my mother and Geraldo’s mother included,
erupted. But just as I leaned forward to give Geraldo a high five,
my left foot twisted and I collapsed to the floor. Sharp pain shot
up my leg to my knee. The last thing I heard was my uncle’s
voice shouting for an ambulance. What I didn’t realize was that
I was just about to learn what really mattered in life.
When I woke up, I was lying in a hospital bed, very con-
fused. I could hear the murmur of voices in the distance. My
eyes were as heavy as lead, so I didn’t bother to open them for
some time. As I became more alert, however, I could recognize
my mother’s voice, speaking to my grandmother on the phone.
“He collapsed during the game, and when they did some tests,
they realized they had to do surgery right away.” Then I heard
my mother begin to cry softly.
Surgery! We were one game away from winning the basket-
ball championship in our division, which would send us to
regionals. I had a lot more games to play in! This was my last
year to play basketball with my cousin Geraldo, who was grad-
uating in the spring. Also, I couldn’t let down my coach, who
had given me the opportunity to play basketball when I trans-
ferred to Central High School last year.
But when Dr. Curtis came into my room an hour later, she
confirmed that I had indeed had surgery on my knee and that
my basketball season was over for this year. The pain throbbing
in my knee was nothing compared to the agony I felt when she
spoke those words.
The next morning, Geraldo and some of my other team-
mates came by to see me at the hospital. I expected them to be
moping when they walked into my room, but instead, they
came in laughing and making jokes.
“We’re gonna win this for you, Lee,” Geraldo said, giving me
the thumbs-up sign. He even gave me a pat on the hand when
nobody was looking. My mom was at the hospital most of the
time, and other family members came by to cheer me on.
Here is a draft of the student’s personal narrative about facing and overcoming a challenge.
This is a fairly late draft, after the student had time to revise and edit.
Introduction Did you
notice how the student grabs
readers’ attention by starting the
narrative right in the middle of the
action? Underline the sentence
that first tells you where the event
is taking place.
Sentence Variety Using
different sentence types keeps the
reader interested. This student
uses a good variety of sentence
types. Draw a wavy line under
sentences in paragraph 2 that
begin with the subject. Draw stars
next to sentences that begin with
introductory phrases.
Dialogue This student uses
dialogue, or a speaker’s exact
words, to help develop the body
of the narrative. Do you think
Geraldo’s line of dialogue is
effective? Why or why not?
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13. But most of my time in the hospital was spent working.
I had to slowly move my knee, little by little at first. Sometimes
the pain was so bad that streams of sweat would start pouring
down my face. Other times, I felt nauseated from the combina-
tion of medication and exhaustion. I’d look out the window of
the room and everything seemed blurry.
After a week, I was discharged from the hospital, but my
efforts had just begun. Next, I had to work for three days a week
with a physical therapist, who gave me more exercises to do at
home. I also had to learn how to walk around my house, and
eventually the school bus and school building, on crutches.
There were times when my arms throbbed and felt dead tired.
But every time I thought I could not take another minute of
pain or frustration, something would happen to boost my
spirits. Sometimes it would be something big—like my team
dedicating the division championship to me. Other times, it
would be something quite small, like my little sister Avi bring-
ing me a glass of ice water and singing me a song she was learn-
ing in preschool.
Life went on. My basketball team went on to win the
regional championship about a month after my injury. I was
not on the court to help my teammates out. But I was sitting on
the bench next to the coach, with my knee elevated on an extra
chair. I had a feeling of strength in my heart because I had
learned how much more important people were than sports.
Write about a time when you had to make a difficult decision. Describe the
situation, the choices that were available, the decision you made, and the
consequences of your actions. Looking back, would you have acted differ-
ently, if given the chance? Use details and examples to explain and support
your ideas.
Transitions Do you see the
different transitions the student
uses to show the passage of time?
Draw a box around any transitions
in paragraph 7.
Details Pay attention to
how this student uses details to
describe what happens during
his recovery. Circle the details
that help the reader imagine his
sister’s actions.
Conclusion To conclude the
personal narrative, this student
makes a statement reflecting on his
experience. Draw two lines under
this sentence in the conclusion.
Writing Assignment
Now it’s your turn. Write a draft of your personal narrative on a computer or on a
separate sheet of paper.
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14. Formal Style
When you are writing for school (and later, for work), you should use formal
language. Formal language consists of correct grammar and carefully selected
words that convey a sophisticated, professional style. It doesn’t use slang or have
an overly casual tone. For example, you would never include the following sentence
in academic writing: “Katerina worked hard and completed a totally legit report on
the discovery of DNA.” Instead, you would use the word excellent or superb.
In the mentor text excerpt below, circle the words and phrases that use a
formal style.
But when Dr. Curtis came into my room an hour later, she confirmed that I
had indeed had surgery on my knee and that my basketball season was over
for this year. The pain throbbing in my knee was nothing compared to the
agony I felt when she spoke those words.
Though most writing you do in class requires a formal style, there are occasions
when you can use more informal language. If you are writing a narrative, for
example, you may wish to use casual language in your dialogue to reflect the way
a person really speaks.
Read the sentences below. Rewrite each sentence so that it uses the appropriate
formal style for writing in a school setting.
1. Those Congressional guys finally wanted to work out all that money stuff.
2. My mama’s put in a lot of hours at the factory, which seems crazy to me.
Try It
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15. Revise
Revising is the writing stage in which you get to look at your writing from a dif-
ferent angle—as a reader! You have been brainstorming, planning, and drafting your
content. Now look for ways to improve the focus, structure, ideas, and language.
When you revise, think again about the audience and purpose you identified
earlier. Do your language choices fit the audience? Why are you writing? Is there
content that should be adjusted to help you better fulfill that purpose?
Sometimes when revising, you may consider taking a new approach. For exam-
ple, the mentor text is written from the first-person point of view, but personal
narratives can also be written from the third-person point of view. Consider how a
different approach might change your writing. Would it address your purpose?
Precise Language and Concrete Details
As you revise your writing, use precise language and concrete details to
convey and develop your topic. Include specific details and sensory language to
create a vivid picture of experiences, events, settings, or characters. For example,
the following sentence is from an early version of the mentor text.
I went down the court and looked for my cousin Geraldo.
Does this sentence help you to picture the experiences of the speaker? Adding
sensory details would help the reader to relate to those experiences. Adding vivid
action verbs would help the reader visualize events. Now read the revised sentence.
As I raced down the court with the ball, I quickly scanned my eyes to my left
and saw my cousin Geraldo leaping into the air with his arms raised.
Now the reader can visualize the writer in the final moments before his injury.
When you are writing about a specific subject area or field, be sure to revise for
domain-specific vocabulary that provides the right level of detail. For example, if
you are writing an informational text about a parachute, you should use vocabulary
that is specific and technical, such as main canopy and pilot chute.
Replace each of the vague phrases below with a more precise word or phrase.
1. my musical instrument
2. her car
Try It
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16. Take a look at the following paragraph from the first draft of the
narrative about facing a challenge. Then compare it to the same
paragraph from the final draft to see what kinds of changes the
student made when he revised his narrative.
First Draft
I was discharged from the hospital, but my efforts had
just begun. Three days a week, I had to work with a physical
therapist, who gave me more exercises to do at home. I also
had to learn how to move around my house and eventually
the school bus and school building on crutches. At times, my
armpits hurt. But every time I thought I could not take another
minute of pain or frustration, something would happen to
boost my spirits. Sometimes it would be something big. Other
times, it would be something quite small.
Examining the organization of your writing is an important aspect of revision.
Without a logical organizational structure, readers lose their way. When you revise for
organization, ask yourself whether you should rearrange or add paragraphs that sup-
port your overall writing purpose. Sometimes you may find a paragraph that needs to
come out altogether because it does not support the main purpose of your writing.
Take a look at each individual paragraph to be sure that there is one central idea
that is supported by other details. If not, you will want to make changes. This may
mean altering a topic sentence or providing more detail within a paragraph. Addi-
tionally, you want to be sure that your sentences are strong and varied. Do not try
to make every sentence wordy and complicated. Check that you have used a good
balance of longer and shorter sentences.
Finally, look through your draft for places where you may need to include transi-
tional words, phrases, and sentences to help connect the ideas between and within
paragraphs. Transitions are signposts that help show your reader where you are
going and where you have been. Common transitions include for example, but,
although, however, as a result, first, and finally.
Transitions Transitions con-
nect the ideas within and between
sentences and paragraphs. A tran-
sitional phrase at the beginning
of this paragraph would help the
reader understand more about
the student’s discharge from the
hospital. What transition might
the student use?
PRECISE LANGUAGE Precise
language is specific and descrip-
tive, creating interesting and vivid
prose for the reader. What words
or phrases could the student use
to better describe his pain from
the crutches?
ADDING DETAIL To make ideas
clear and to draw readers into a
narrative, writers need to provide
specific details to show what they
mean. What could this student
add to show the reader the kinds
of things that happened to boost
his spirits?
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17. Revised Draft
After a week, I was discharged from the hospital, but my
efforts had just begun. Next, I had to work for three days a
week with a physical therapist, who gave me more exercises
to do at home. I also had to learn how to walk around my
house, and eventually the school bus and school building,
on crutches. There were times when my arms throbbed and
felt dead tired.
But every time I thought I could not take another minute of
pain or frustration, something would happen to boost my spir-
its. Sometimes it would be something big—like my team dedi-
cating the division championship to me. Other times, it would
be something quite small, like my little sister Avi bringing me
a glass of ice water and singing me a song she was learning in
preschool.
Revise a Draft
Now it is your turn to revise a paragraph from an early draft of the student’s
personal narrative. Read the excerpt below and write a revision on a separate
sheet of paper.
TRANSITIONS The student
added the transitional phrase
After a week at the beginning of
this paragraph, which tells the
reader the time frame and moves
the narrative to the next idea.
Circle other transitional phrases
the student uses in this paragraph.
PRECISE LANGUAGE Notice
how the student changed my arm-
pits hurt to my arms throbbed and
felt dead tired. What does the pre-
cise language tell you about how
the student was feeling?
ADDING DETAIL The student
added specific examples of big or
little things that helped to boost
his spirits. Underline two examples
of details the student added.
Try It
I always loved basketball. Even as a kid. When I was six years old I begged
my mother to buy me a basketball hoop for the driveway. Though we didn’t
have much room for it. I watched every basketball game shown on TV. I also
watched football and hockey. When tryouts were announced for my school’s
basketball team, I knew I wanted to play. I was having a great time on the team
until one game changed everything and nothing would be the same again.
18 Lesson 1 • The Writing Process
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18. When you conduct a peer review, you work with a partner to improve your draft.
You will want to follow certain etiquette so that your interactions are constructive.
The purpose is to improve writing; it is never a criticism of the writer. Writers, how-
ever, need to be receptive to criticism so that they can improve their writing.
Begin by telling your peers what works well in their writing so that they can use
those techniques again. Be specific in stating why something works well. For exam-
ple, “I liked the descriptive detail here because I could imagine that I was standing
in the dark forest myself.”
Offer criticism as specific feedback related to the writing. Do not give vague
comments, such as, “I don’t think it’s well written.” Provide specific problems and
suggested solutions, such as, “I think you were trying to support the main idea here,
but this detail is not clear. Can you restate it in more specific language?”
Another helpful technique is to ask peers to explain why they wrote what they did
or why they used certain organization or language. This allows writers to rethink
their own process and consider revisions as they talk to you.
Here are some questions that you can ask as you review a peer’s writing:
• Does the introduction grab the reader’s attention and reveal the main idea or
thesis of the written piece?
• Does each body paragraph support the main idea or thesis and include effec-
tive supporting or descriptive details?
• Is the organization of the written piece logical?
• Does the conclusion summarize the main points or emphasize the author’s
final ideas?
• Are the language and style appropriate for the audience and purpose?
Writing Assignment
Exchange your draft with a peer and use the peer review forms provided by
your teacher to review each other’s work. Remember to be thoughtful and
constructive in your comments, and take a few minutes to discuss your feedback
with your classmate.
Once you are finished with your peer review, it’s time to revise your draft.
Read through your draft with a critical eye and make changes using the revision
checklist your teacher has provided or one of your own. Be sure to incorporate
any helpful comments or suggestions from your peer review. You may compose
your revised draft on a computer or a separate sheet of paper.
Lesson 1 • The Writing Process 19
CC13_ELA_L1C_U1_L1_SE 19 5/2/13 11:21 AM
19. Edit
In the editing stage of writing, you make sure your revised draft follows the con-
ventions of standard English. Editing involves checking that you have used gram-
mar, spelling, punctuation, and capitalization correctly.
There are several strategies that can make the editing process more efficient and
rewarding. One strategy is to read your passage aloud—or have a classmate, friend,
or family member read it aloud to you. As you hear the words, grammar mistakes
will become more obvious to you. Additionally, if you read the text while a classmate
reads it aloud, you may also notice spelling, capitalization, and punctuation mis-
takes more easily.
Some writers even like to read a text backward when editing, starting with the
last sentence and reading each sentence by itself. When you look at the sentence
in isolation, its strengths or possible weaknesses may become much clearer.
You probably know which mistakes you make most often when writing, so keep
those in mind when you edit. For example, if you know that you often misuse com-
mas, double-check your use of commas wherever they appear. Maybe you have a
tendency to misspell the same words over and over. Be sure to look for those, using
a dictionary to check difficult words.
Use these editing marks to correct any errors you find.
Insert parentheses Insert em dash Close up space
# Add space Indent ^ Insert
Delete
^
Insert hyphen Transpose
Insert period ,^ Insert comma
^
’ Insert apostrophe
^
“ Insert quotation marks Capitalize Lowercase
n
Insert en dash New paragraph
20 Lesson 1 • The Writing Process
CC13_ELA_L1C_U1_L1_SE 20 5/2/13 11:21 AM
20. When I woke up, I was laying in a hospital bed, very
confused. I could hear the murmur of voices in the distance.
My eyes were heavy as lead, so I didnt bother to open them for
some time. As I became more alert, however, I could recognize
my mother’s voice, spe aking to my grandmother on the phone.
He collapsed during the game, and when they some did tests,
they realized they had to do surgery write away.” Then I heard
my mother begin to cry softly.
Surgery! We was one game away from winning the
basketball championship in our division, which would send
us to the regionals. I had alot more more games to play in!
This was my last year to play basketball with my cousin Geraldo;
who was graduating in the spring. Also, I couldn’t let down my
couch, who had given me the opportunity to play basketball
when I transfer to Central High School last year.
right
were
’
a
,
red
This excerpt from a draft of a student’s response shows how the student used editing
marks to make corrections.
Spelling This student confused
the words laying and lying, a
common mistake. How could he
confirm that he is using the correct
meaning?
Subject-Verb Agreement
The student made a subject-verb
agreement error. He remembered
that a plural subject needs a plu-
ral verb, and the verb form was
is a singular form. Which word
is the subject of this sentence?
How does his correction fix the
agreement error?
Semicolon The student used
a semicolon incorrectly in the sen-
tence. A semicolon is only used
between independent clauses.
Explain why a comma should be
used here, instead.
#
^
^
“
Lesson 1 • The Writing Process 21
CC13_ELA_L1C_U1_L1_SE 21 5/2/13 11:21 AM
21. Spelling
When you are drafting a piece of writing, it’s easy to miss spelling errors. You will
likely be so focused on your ideas, organization, and content that smaller mistakes
might slip through. As you edit your draft, look carefully for spelling mistakes.
Here are a few spelling rules to remember.
• Put i before e except after c or when the two letters make a long a sound.
Examples: relief, receive, weight
• Add -es to words ending in -s, -sh, -ss, -x, -z, -ch to form plurals.
Examples: mixes, watches
• Change the f or fe to v and add -es to form plurals of words that end in -f or -fe.
Examples: leaves, knives
• Add the suffix -ed to a regular verb that ends with a consonant to make it past
tense.
Example: washed
• Add the suffix -d to a regular verb that ends with a vowel to make it past tense.
Example: pursued
• Change the y to i and add -es to form plurals of words that end with a
consonant and y.
Examples: berries, follies
• Keep the final y when adding the -ing ending whenever a single consonant pre-
cedes the final y.
Example: pity + -ing = pitying
• Change the y to i and add the -s and -ed endings when a double consonant
precedes the final y.
Example: carry + -ed = carried
• Keep the final y and add the -s, -ed, and -ing endings when a vowel precedes
the final y.
Examples: stay + -ed = stayed; employ + ing = employing
Remember to watch out for commonly confused words that sound the same
or similar but have different meanings, such as where and wear or their, there,
and they’re.
Mechanics Review
22 Lesson 1 • The Writing Process
CC13_ELA_L1C_U1_L1_SE 22 5/2/13 11:21 AM
22. Find the spelling error in each sentence. Write the word correctly on the line next
to each sentence.
1. Next weekend, my neice Sophia will be visiting me by herself.
2. Which of the hats should William where to the baseball game?
3. I am grateful for the lifes of all my grandparents, each of whom has
taught me many important lessons.
4. When the students went up to get there awards, the audience
applauded.
5. As the rain fell, the young woman hurryed to her car.
6. On our drive through the country, we passed several old churchs.
7. Many familys gather for meals at holidays.
8. The shelfs at the grocery store were almost empty.
9. The principal accompanyed the seniors on their class trip.
10. Despite their arguement beforehand, the twins threw a great party.
Try It
Mechanics Review continued
Writing Assignment
Now edit your personal narrative, using the editing checklist your teacher has
provided you or one of your own. You may work either on your computer or on a
separate sheet of paper.
Write about a time you had to make a difficult decision. Describe the situation,
the choices that were available, the decision you made, and the consequences
of your actions. Looking back, would you have acted differently if given the
chance? Use details and examples to explain and support your ideas.
Lesson 1 • The Writing Process 23
CC13_ELA_L1C_U1_L1_SE 23 5/2/13 11:21 AM
23. Publish
When you publish your writing, you let other people read your work. Publishing
is one of the most important stages of writing.
To publish your piece, first create a neat final draft using a computer or a sepa-
rate sheet of paper, making any final corrections of errors you found while editing.
Also, give your written text a title that captures readers’ attention and effectively
describes your work.
Now, think of ways to distribute your work to interested readers. This may mean
turning in your piece to the teacher or letting friends and family read it. You can also
try one of these ideas to find a wider audience for your written work:
• Form a writing club with friends, in which you meet and discuss each
person’s writing.
• Create a brochure or poster, with photos or illustrations, to publicize your
writing and attract readers’ interest.
• Submit your writing to your school newspaper for publication.
• Create a classroom magazine that includes examples by each student of the
different types of writing: response to literature, informative texts, argument,
and personal narrative.
• Meet in small groups to read your writing aloud, comparing and contrasting it
with other students’ writing.
• Submit your writing to a writing contest.
Technology Suggestions
• Upload your writing to your class Web site or blog.
• Save your work as a PDF document, and send it to family and friends
through e-mail.
• Start a blog that discusses the topic of a recent writing assignment. Share
opinions on the topic, and then analyze what you learned from the discussion.
• Record a podcast in which you read a piece of writing aloud. Invite classmates
to contribute to a recorded discussion of the written text.
• Create a digital presentation of your writing, and share it with the class.
Writing Assignment
Once you have finished revising and editing your work, follow your teacher’s
instructions for publishing your final draft. Be sure to follow any formatting and
submission guidelines your teacher or school may have.
24 Lesson 1 • The Writing Process
CC13_ELA_L1C_U1_L1_SE 24 5/2/13 11:21 AM
24. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 53
Throughout your education, you have probably been asked to
write about many different kinds of texts. You may already know
that a well-written response to literature must include careful
analysis supported by specific evidence from the text you have
read. In this lesson, you will use the steps of the writing process to
compose a response about an excerpt from Charles Dickens’s novel
Great Expectations. Along the way, you’ll review and familiarize
yourself with skills such as developing a thesis, selecting
information from a passage to support that thesis, and organizing
your ideas. The end result will be a thorough and thoughtful written
response, demonstrating your understanding of the selection.
Lesson
3Writing
Responses to
Literature
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 53 5/2/13 11:22 AM
25. 54 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
What Is a Response to Literature?
A response to literature is an analysis of the way a piece of literature functions,
based on evidence provided by the text. Just as you might take apart a watch or a
television to see how it works, writing a response to a passage requires breaking the
passage down into its parts. The purpose of such a response is to examine how
each part contributes to the whole.
Sometimes, you will be assigned to write about a particular aspect of the pas-
sage, such as its theme or use of sensory language. Other times, you will be able to
respond to an element of the passage that you find the most intriguing. For exam-
ple, you might explain how a character changes or develops over the course of the
story. Or you might examine a passage’s plot to investigate the way the author
builds the suspense that leads to a climax. Each passage provides countless ideas
to explore.
Whether you are responding to a prompt or writing about a topic of your choosing,
the elements of your response should be the same: an introduction with a thesis
statement, a series of reasons that support the thesis, and a conclusion. As with
other types of essays, effective support of your thesis is crucial. In writing a response
to literature, support will come in the form of direct evidence from the passage.
Choose these details carefully; if the quotes and details you choose from the passage
do not support your thesis, then a reader will not find your analysis credible.
Introduction
The introduction contains the main idea for your response
in a thesis statement, along with supporting reasons.
Reasons and Supporting Details
Each paragraph following the introduction will supply
a reason why the thesis is valid, supported by
details, quotes, or examples from the passage.
Conclusion
This part ties the response together, with a summary of the
essay’s main points and a thoughtful restatement of the thesis.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 54 5/2/13 11:22 AM
26. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 55
Read
Read the following passage. As you read, you may mark up the text by
highlighting, underlining, or writing notes in the margins to help your
understanding. After you’ve read the passage, you will be asked to write
a response to it. The prompt will directly follow the passage.
an excerpt from
Great Expectations
by Charles Dickens
Ours was the marsh country, down by the river, within, as the river wound, twenty
miles of the sea. My first most vivid and broad impression of the identity of things seems
to me to have been gained on a memorable raw afternoon towards evening. At such a
time I found out for certain that this bleak place overgrown with nettles was the church-
yard; and that Philip Pirrip, late of this parish1
, and also Georgiana wife of the above, were
dead and buried; and that Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, Tobias, and Roger, infant
children of the aforesaid, were also dead and buried; and that the dark flat wilderness
beyond the churchyard, intersected with dikes and mounds and gates, with scattered
cattle feeding on it, was the marshes; and that the low leaden line beyond was the river;
and that the distant savage lair from which the wind was rushing was the sea; and that
the small bundle of shivers growing afraid of it all and beginning to cry, was Pip.
“Hold your noise!” cried a terrible voice, as a man started up from among the graves at
the side of the church porch. “Keep still, you little devil, or I’ll cut your throat!”
A fearful man, all in coarse gray, with a great iron on his leg. A man with no hat, and
with broken shoes, and with an old rag tied round his head. A man who had been soaked
in water, and smothered in mud, and lamed by stones, and cut by flints, and stung by
nettles, and torn by briars; who limped, and shivered, and glared, and growled; and
whose teeth chattered in his head as he seized me by the chin.
“Oh! Don’t cut my throat, sir,” I pleaded in terror. “Pray don’t do it, sir.”
“Tell us your name!” said the man. “Quick!”
“Pip, sir.”
“Once more,” said the man, staring at me. “Give it mouth!”
“Pip. Pip, sir.”
“Show us where you live,” said the man. “Pint out
the place!”
I pointed to where our village lay, on the flat in-shore
among the alder-trees and pollards, a mile or more from
the church.
1
parish a geographical area under the leadership of a pastor
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 55 5/2/13 11:22 AM
27. 56 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
The man, after looking at me for a moment, turned me upside down, and emp-
tied my pockets. There was nothing in them but a piece of bread. When the church
came to itself,—for he was so sudden and strong that he made it go head over heels
before me, and I saw the steeple under my feet,—when the church came to itself, I say,
I was seated on a high tombstone, trembling while he ate the bread ravenously.
“You young dog,” said the man, licking his lips, “what fat cheeks you ha’ got.”
I believe they were fat, though I was at that time undersized for my years, and
not strong.
“Darn me if I couldn’t eat em,” said the man, with a threatening shake of his head,
“and if I han’t half a mind to’t!”
I earnestly expressed my hope that he wouldn’t, and held tighter to the tombstone on
which he had put me; partly, to keep myself upon it; partly, to keep myself from crying.
“Now lookee here!” said the man. “Where’s your mother?”
“There, sir!” said I.
He started, made a short run, and stopped and looked over his shoulder.
“There, sir!” I timidly explained. “Also Georgiana. That’s my mother.”
“Oh!” said he, coming back. “And is that your father alonger your mother?”
“Yes, sir,” said I; “him too; late of this parish.”
“Ha!” he muttered then, considering. “Who d’ye live with,—supposin’ you’re kindly
let to live, which I han’t made up my mind about?”
“My sister, sir,—Mrs. Joe Gargery,—wife of Joe Gargery, the blacksmith, sir.”
“Blacksmith, eh?” said he. And looked down at his leg.
After darkly looking at his leg and me several times, he came closer to my tombstone,
took me by both arms, and tilted me back as far as he could hold me; so that his eyes
looked most powerfully down into mine, and mine looked most helplessly up into his.
“Now lookee here,” he said, “the question being whether you’re to be let to live. You
know what a file is?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you know what wittles2
is?”
“Yes, sir.”
After each question he tilted me over a little more, so as to give me a greater sense of
helplessness and danger.
“You get me a file.” He tilted me again. “And you get me wittles.” He tilted me again.
“You bring ’em both to me.” He tilted me again. “Or I’ll have your heart and liver out.”
He tilted me again.
I was dreadfully frightened, and so giddy that I clung to him with both hands, and
said, “If you would kindly please to let me keep upright, sir, perhaps I shouldn’t be sick,
and perhaps I could attend more.”
2
wittles slang for victuals, or food
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 56 5/2/13 11:22 AM
28. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 57
He gave me a most tremendous dip and roll, so that the church jumped over its
own weathercock.3
Then, he held me by the arms, in an upright position on the top
of the stone, and went on in these fearful terms:—
“You bring me, to-morrow morning early, that file and them wittles. You bring the lot
to me, at that old Battery over yonder. You do it, and you never dare to say a word or
dare to make a sign concerning your having seen such a person as me, or any person
sumever, and you shall be let to live. You fail, or you go from my words in any partickler,
no matter how small it is, and your heart and your liver shall be tore out, roasted, and
ate. Now, I ain’t alone, as you may think I am. There’s a young man hid with me, in
comparison with which young man I am a Angel. That young man hears the words I
speak. . . . I am a keeping that young man from harming of you at the present moment,
with great difficulty. . . . Now, what do you say?”
I said that I would get him the file, and I would get him what broken bits of food I
could, and I would come to him at the Battery, early in the morning.
“Say Lord strike you dead if you don’t!” said the man.
I said so, and he took me down.
“Now,” he pursued, “you remember what you’ve undertook, and you remember that
young man, and you get home!”
“Goo-good night, sir,” I faltered.
“Much of that!” said he, glancing about him over the cold wet flat. “I wish I was a
frog. Or a eel!”
At the same time, he hugged his shuddering body in both his arms,—clasping himself,
as if to hold himself together,—and limped towards the low church wall. As I saw him go,
picking his way among the nettles, and among the brambles that bound the green
mounds, he looked in my young eyes as if he were eluding the hands of the dead people,
stretching up cautiously out of their graves, to get a twist upon his ankle and pull him in.
Writing Assignment
The following prompt asks you to write about a specific aspect of the selection
you have just read. Refer to this prompt as you brainstorm, plan, draft, revise,
and edit your response.
A literary work’s characters are among its most basic parts. Taking a closer
look at the way characters are portrayed can teach us a lot about the work.
Analyze the way Charles Dickens portrays the characters in this excerpt from
Great Expectations. How does the characterization affect the passage? Use
details and quotes to support your response.
3
weathercock a turning mechanism on a roof which indicates the wind’s direction
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 57 5/2/13 11:22 AM
29. 58 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
Brainstorm
After you’ve read the passage and you’ve looked at the prompt, what next?
Before you go any further, search for key words in the prompt that will help you build
a response. In this case, characters, analyze, and affect the passage are all words
that could direct your efforts.
The first stage of writing is brainstorming, which means jotting down all of your
thoughts on a topic. You may choose to freewrite, make a list, or draw a web; it’s up
to you. However, all of your ideas should relate to the key terms in the prompt. It
may help to circle or underline particular words and phrases in the passage. You’ll
need to reread the passage several times before and during brainstorming; as you
reread, you’ll notice more and more details that could support your response.
A student was asked to write about the mood of the passage you just read. Here is
a brainstorm web the student came up with to prepare for writing his response.
Setting
graveyard
fog
church
countryside
rainy
Mood
eerie
suspenseful
creepy
Dialogue
criminal threatens Pip
Pip says “sir,”
uses short sentences,
stammers
Word Choice
raw afternoon
dark flat wilderness
distant savage lair
growing afraid of it all
shuddering body
eluding the hands of
the dead people
Brainstorm The student’s
notes will help him craft a solid
response to the prompt. Circle the
words in the web that show the
main story elements the student
will use in the response.
Support The student chooses
details from the passage that help
to create its mood. Draw boxes
around words that come directly
from the passage.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 58 5/2/13 11:22 AM
30. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 59
Think about how you might brainstorm for the prompt you have been assigned:
Analyze the way Charles Dickens portrays the characters in this excerpt from Great
Expectations. How does the characterization affect the passage? Use details and
quotes to support your response. Your first job is to identify the characters in the
scene. Then examine the clues the author gives about their personalities and
appearances. Write these details in your list, web, or chart. These steps will help
you begin drafting a response later on.
After you form your thoughts about the passage and gather enough information,
it’s time to develop a thesis statement. Remember that a thesis statement conveys
the main argument of your essay, as well as significant supporting reasons. Make
sure the thesis statement you devise is solidly supported by the text. It should not
be too broad or too narrow. A sweeping statement could be difficult to support,
while a statement that is too narrow in its focus might not respond to the prompt
adequately.
Below is a list of possible thesis statements the student came up with for his
response to the prompt about mood.
Writing Assignment
On a separate sheet of paper, brainstorm a response to the following prompt.
You can use whatever brainstorming method works best to help you organize
ideas. Then write a thesis statement that you will use to shape your response.
A literary work’s characters are among its most basic parts. Taking a closer
look at the way characters are portrayed can teach us a lot about the work.
Analyze the way Charles Dickens portrays the characters in this excerpt from
Great Expectations. How does the characterization affect the passage? Use
details and quotes to support your response.
Possible Thesis Statements
• The mood is created mainly by a spooky
setting.
• Dickens creates the suspenseful mood of the
passage through setting and dialogue.
• Word choice is important to the mood of this
passage.
Final Thesis Statement
The mood of suspense in this passage is
created through setting, dialogue, and diction.
THESIS STATEMENT The thesis
statement should capture the most
important ideas conveyed in the
response. How are the thesis state-
ments in the first box inadequate?
Why is the final thesis statement
the best choice for the response?
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 59 5/2/13 11:22 AM
31. 60 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
Plan
Now that you have brainstormed ideas for your response and have crafted a
thesis statement, it’s time to organize your information.
You might organize the details you’ve assembled in numerous ways. One of
the most common organizational methods is a simple outline, with headings and
relevant information below them. Some writers use Roman numerals to label the
ideas they will write about. Some writers use bullets. You can use either of these or
create your own organizational system. However, your outline should clearly show
the different parts of your response.
All essays, including responses to literature, should have the same basic parts.
The introduction contains your thesis statement, along with the aspects of the
passage you are using to support it. Each body paragraph presents a different
reason that develops your thesis, with related supporting details. In an outline,
these paragraphs are generally represented by listing each reason on a separate
line with supporting details underneath. In some cases, these supporting details
will be quotes—if you’re writing about an author’s word choice, for example. In other
cases, summarized examples from the text will be sufficient. Your essay, and thus
your organizational outline, will end with a conclusion, in which you slightly restate
your thesis and possibly offer additional observations on the topic.
Here is how the student who is writing about mood plans to organize his response.
Organization The student
supports the introduction with
a summary of the passage.
Underline the sentences that
contain this summary.
I. Introduction
Thesis The setting, dialogue, and word choice
create a mood of suspense in this passage.
• The passage is the opening section of
Charles Dickens’s Great Expectations.
• In it, Pip meets a criminal who makes a deal
with him, under threat of death.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 60 5/2/13 11:22 AM
32. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 61
Writing Assignment
Now, using the details and the thesis you generated during your brainstorm,
organize your thoughts on a separate sheet of paper. Use an outline form like
the one you see above to help you.
A literary work’s characters are among its most basic parts. Taking a closer
look at the way characters are portrayed can teach us a lot about the work.
Analyze the way Charles Dickens portrays the characters in this excerpt from
Great Expectations. How does the characterization affect the passage? Use
details and quotes to support your response.
DevelopMENT It is important to
provide clear reasons behind the
thesis in a response to literature.
Underline the reasons the student
plans to write about in his response.
Support When writing a
response to literature, use direct
quotes and evidence from the text
to support your ideas. Circle any
words that come directly from
the passage.
II. Support
Reason #1 By setting the opening in a
graveyard, Dickens creates a sense of gloom.
• The fog makes the events taking place
seem mysterious.
• The graveyard is in a barren part of the
country.
Reason #2 The dialogue helps to create a
mood as well.
• Most of Pip’s lines are stammered, showing
his fear.
• The convict makes many threats, increasing
a sense of danger.
Reason #3 Dickens’s word choice contributes
to the mood of the passage.
raw afternoon, dark flat wilderness, distant
savage lair, growing afraid, shuddering
body, eluding the hands of the dead people
III. Conclusion
• restatement of thesis
• final observations
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 61 5/2/13 11:22 AM
33. 62 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
Draft
Now that you’ve organized relevant details, quotes, and interpretations of the
passage, you should be ready to write a draft. As you start writing, remember to rely
on the outline you made. Though you might adjust your outline while writing, it will
help to have it as a guide as you move forward.
In a response to literature, it is very important to support the observations and
claims you make with solid evidence from the text. The more closely you read, the
better the evidence you gather will be. If you were writing a narrative, your task
would be to make the setting, plot, and characters work together. In a persuasive
piece, you would have to make sure your arguments and supporting reasons were
all valid. But in this case, the words from the text that you choose to support your
thesis, along with your thorough analysis of them, are key in establishing your
authority on the passage and topic.
Read this draft of a response to a prompt about mood. This is a fairly late draft,
after the student revised and edited it. We’ll be looking at those earlier versions
later in this lesson, so you can see how the draft reached its current form.
How Dickens Builds Mood
Though the mood of the opening scene of Charles
Dickens’s Great Expectations incorporates aspects of gloom and
fear, its main quality is suspense. In the passage, an escaped
convict attacks young Pip in a church graveyard, threatening to
kill him if he doesn’t bring back food and a file, which the con-
vict can use to remove a chain from his leg. Dickens establishes
the suspenseful mood in this scene through an eerie setting,
tense dialogue, and word choice intended to create uneasiness
in readers.
Introduction The student
begins his draft by providing a
summary of the passage and
explaining in a thesis statement
what his response will be about.
Underline the thesis statement.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 62 5/2/13 11:22 AM
34. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 63
One of the most basic parts of the passage, its setting, is
very important to its mood. A graveyard has eerie connota-
tions to begin with, but the details Dickens uses increase the
feeling of tension and suspense. At the passage’s beginning,
Dickens describes the day the scene takes place as “raw,” which
creates a sense of discomfort. Later, Pip states that his house is a
mile or more from the church, increasing a sense of isolation
and danger, given the scene’s events. When the criminal runs
away, Dickens states that he looks out at the “cold wet flat,”
reminding us of the damp, gloomy atmosphere in which the
scene has occurred.
The dialogue, as well, contributes to the passage’s mood
through its general tone. The convict’s speech is very violent.
After seizing Pip, he threatens to cut his throat if he isn’t silent.
Later, he says he would like to eat Pip whole; at the end of the
passage, he states that he has a partner who is more brutal than
he is. His statements, of course, make Pip very afraid. Pip’s state-
ments in the passage show that he is very meek. The criminal
speaks in long, frightening sentences, while Pip’s sentences are
much shorter, as if he were swallowing them. He also repeats
the word “sir” several times. While this was probably a common
polite expression of the time, Pip’s repetition of the word shows
his nervousness. Because readers see the story from his point of
view, they are likely to sympathize with him, ultimately feeling
nervous themselves.
Support Notice that the stu-
dent uses quotes from the passage
to support the main idea of this
paragraph. Circle these quotes.
Transitions Transitions help
move readers from one part of the
response to the next. Underline
the transition words the student
uses in this response.
Tone References to the “reader”
rather than “I” or “you” keep the
tone objective, which is appropri-
ate for the purpose and audience.
Put a check mark beside refer-
ences to “readers” in the draft.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 63 5/2/13 11:22 AM
35. Consider
64 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
Furthermore, Dickens’s diction throughout this passage,
in the setting’s description and dialogue as well as else-
where, is designed to make readers feel tense and nervous.
When describing the ocean, Dickens calls it a “distant savage
lair from which the wind was rushing.” The use of the word
“savage” suggests that nature is an intimidating force, bearing
down on the individual. Near one of the most exciting points of
the passage, Dickens writes, “After each question he tilted me
over a little more, so as to give me a greater sense of helpless-
ness and danger.” The use of the words “helplessness” and
“danger” make Dickens’s intentions fairly clear; he wishes to
create an atmosphere charged with fear and suspense.
When reading the passage, the mood is the most notice-
able aspect. Close examination shows that three elements are
contributing to that mood: the setting, the dialogue, and the
diction. The passage’s setting creates an eerie stage, on which
the drama of the scene can unfold. The dialogue in the passage
shows the conflict of the convict’s aggression and Pip’s fear.
The language Dickens uses throughout the piece, finally, is
intended to make readers feel uneasy, as if something terrible
were about to happen. This passage is an artful beginning to a
great work of literature.
How effectively does the student organize the paragraphs in the
response?
How relevant and thoughtfully chosen are the examples used?
How closely does the student analyze the passage to support
the thesis?
Conclusion A conclusion
should always include a thoughtful
restatement of the thesis. Draw a
box around that statement in
this conclusion.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 64 5/2/13 11:22 AM
36. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 65
Transitions
As you’re writing your draft of a response to literature, you need to make sure
your thoughts flow smoothly. Your readers will not consider your ideas if they
can’t follow your line of thinking. Transitions are words and phrases that show
relationships between ideas. As you move from one thought to another, use
transitions to link your ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
For example, the following three sentences come from a student’s response to
a passage:
There is a rainbow at the story’s conclusion. The ending of the story is a
happy one. The rainbow symbolizes hope.
These sentences are clear and concise by themselves, but there’s nothing linking
them. Watch what happens when you add transition words:
There is a rainbow at the story’s conclusion, which is a happy one. Therefore,
the rainbow symbolizes hope.
When you add the words which and therefore to connect the sentences, the
final result automatically reads more smoothly. You can do the same between
paragraphs, to make a chain of thoughts flow through a whole essay. Some
common transition words are however, finally, next, overall, furthermore,
nevertheless, in addition, in conclusion, and on the other hand.
Read the sentence below. Fill in the blank with the most appropriate
transition words.
The captain is often a forbidding character. ,
he deserves readers’ sympathy.
Try It
Writer
,
s Craft
Writing Assignment
Write a draft in response to the following prompt. You may compose your draft
on a computer or on a separate sheet of paper.
A literary work’s characters are among its most basic parts. Taking a closer
look at the way characters are portrayed can teach us a lot about the work.
Analyze the way Charles Dickens portrays the characters in this excerpt from
Great Expectations. How does the characterization affect the passage? Use
details and quotes to support your response.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 65 5/2/13 11:22 AM
37. 66 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
Revise
After you’ve written your draft, the next step is to revise. As with any revision,
when you revise a response to literature, it’s most important that you step back,
take a look at what you’ve written, and evaluate it. The most basic question to ask
yourself is whether you’ve read the passage carefully enough. Are you sure that your
thesis makes sense, in relation to the passage? Do you need to adjust it slightly? Is
your writing about the passage clear and coherent? Is your language suited to the
task and audience?
Additionally, your thesis must be properly supported. If the details you have
chosen to support an observation are weak, or if you have a hard time linking them
with your overall argument, then you need to go back to the text and find better
examples. If you’re having a hard time finding better examples, then maybe the
reason that you’re supporting is weak, and you may need to rethink it. If, once
you’ve chosen an example, you find that your analysis is too brief or vague, then
you’ll need to work harder at explaining its meaning and significance. The most
important thing to remember as you write a response to literature is that the more
closely and attentively you read, the stronger your analysis will be.
Take a look at these paragraphs from the first draft of the essay about mood.
Then compare them to the same paragraphs from the final draft to see what
kinds of changes the student made when he revised his response.
The mood of this passage is a mixture of gloom, fear,
and suspense, and is highly memorable. In the passage, a
criminal attacks young Pip in a church graveyard, threatening
to kill him if he doesn’t bring back supplies. Dickens establishes
the mood of this scene in several ways. The setting of the pas-
sage itself creates a sense of fear in the reader. Dickens chooses
his words carefully, as well. The dialogue is also intended to
make the mood of danger more intense.
The setting is important. Dickens set this part of his novel in
a graveyard, and in the details and images he uses to describe
the graveyard, he contributes to the passage’s overall mood.
When he suggests that no one goes to the graveyard, the reader
gets a sense of isolation. When Pip indicates that his house is a
mile or more from the church and the graveyard, the readers’
sense of loneliness is intensified. When the criminal runs away,
Dickens states that he looks out at the “cold wet flat.” The set-
ting helps the mood.
First Draft
Introduction Notice that
the student does not include a
thesis statement. Where would a
thesis statement best fit in the
introduction?
Development The student’s
language is vague and sometimes
confusing. Ideas are introduced
but not discussed. Underline
sentences that could use more
explanation.
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 66 5/2/13 11:22 AM
38. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 67
Revised Draft
Writing Assignment
Sometimes, the best commentary you receive on your writing comes from
classmates. Exchange your draft, in its current stage, with a classmate. Look
over your classmate’s paper and make suggestions to improve it, using what
you’ve learned so far as a guide. Refer to the prompt below to help you with
your evaluation.
Then revise your draft, either on a separate sheet of paper or on the
computer. Consider your classmate’s comments as you revise your own
response, modifying any weak spots he or she might have noticed. Finally,
use a revising checklist to make sure your response is in good shape before
moving on to the next step of the writing process.
A literary work’s characters are among its most basic parts. Taking a closer
look at the way characters are portrayed can teach us a lot about the work.
Analyze the way Charles Dickens portrays the characters in this excerpt from
Great Expectations. How does the characterization affect the passage? Use
details and quotes to support your response.
Though the mood of the opening scene of Charles
Dickens’s Great Expectations incorporates aspects of
gloom and fear, its main quality is suspense. In the passage,
an escaped convict attacks young Pip in a church graveyard,
threatening to kill him if he doesn’t bring back food and a file,
which the convict can use to remove a chain from his leg.
Dickens establishes the suspenseful mood in this scene
through an eerie setting, tense dialogue, and word choice
intended to create uneasiness in readers.
One of the most basic parts of the passage, its setting, is very
important to its mood. A graveyard has eerie connotations to
begin with, but the details Dickens uses increase the feeling of
tension and suspense. At the passage’s beginning, Dickens
describes the day the scene takes place as “raw,” which creates
a sense of discomfort. Later, Pip states that his house is a mile
or more from the church, increasing a sense of isolation and
danger, given the scene’s events. When the criminal runs away,
Dickens states that he looks out at the “cold wet flat,” reminding
us of the damp, gloomy atmosphere in which the scene has
occurred.
Introduction The student
added a clear thesis statement
that presents the main idea of the
essay and supporting reasons.
What changes did he make to form
his thesis statement?
Development The student has
clarified some confusing sentences
and has elaborated more fully
upon his ideas. How do his revi-
sions help you better understand
his ideas?
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 67 5/2/13 11:22 AM
39. 68 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
Edit and Publish
If revising involves shaping your response, then editing involves making sure the
nuts and bolts of your piece are in place. Elements such as spelling, grammar, and
sentence structure need to be checked—and rechecked, if necessary. In a response
to literature, there is a very specific set of points to address. Are the quotes from the
passage relevant to your main points? If you’ve quoted the passage, you’ll need to
make sure the quote is accurate, and that it’s attributed to the correct character,
if necessary. Also, if you’ve mentioned details from the passage, make sure they
correctly reflect the passage’s overall meaning.
Once you’ve finished your response, it’s time to publish it! In this case, “publish-
ing” will mean giving your response to your teacher for evaluation. You might also
share your paper with your classmates by uploading it to a class Web site or
discussion board.
Look at this excerpt from a draft of a student’s response to the prompt about
mood. The student has used proofreading marks to edit his response.
The dialogue, as well, contributes to the passage’s mood
through its general tone. The convicts speech is very violent.
After seizing Pip, he threatens to cut his throat if he isn’t silent.
Later, he say he would like to eat Pip whole; at the end of the
passage, he states that he has a partner who is more brutel
than he is. His statements, of course, make Pip very afraid.
Pip’s statements in the passage show that he is very meek. The
criminal speaks in long, frightening sentences, while Pip’s
sentences are much shorter, as if he were swallowing them. He
also repeat the word sir” several times. While this was probably
a common polite expression of the time, Pip’s repetition of the
word shows his nervousness Because readers see the story
from his point of view, they are likely to sympathize with him,
ultimately feeling nervous themselves.
,
s
s “
brutal
.
Punctuation Apostrophes
show possession. The author
wants to indicate that the speech
is used by the convict. Explain why
the word convicts is incorrect in
this sentence.
Spelling Even the best spellers
can sometimes make mistakes.
Watch out for words that are
spelled differently from how
they sound. How can you tell
that the word brutel is spelled
incorrectly?
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 68 5/2/13 11:22 AM
40. Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature 69
Furthermore, Dickens’s diction throughout this passage,
in the setting’s description and dialogue as well as elsewhere,
are designed to make readers feel tense and nervous. When
describing the ocean, Dickens calls it a “distant savage lair
from which the wind was rushing.” The use of the word “savage”
suggested that nature is an intimidating force, bering down
on the individual. Near one of the most exciting points of the
passage, Dickens writes “After each question he tilted me over
a little more, so as to give me a greater sense of helplessness
and danger.” The use of the words “helplessness” and “danger”
make Dickens’s intentions fairly clear; he wished to create an
atmosphere charged with fear and suspense.
a
,
is
s
s
Subject-Verb Agreement
In order for a subject and verb to
agree, a singular verb form must
follow a singular noun, and a
plural verb form must follow a
plural noun. How does the sen-
tence structure make it difficult to
identify the agreement error in the
first sentence of this paragraph?
Verb Tense Most responses to
literature will use verbs in the pres-
ent tense. Which kinds of verbs has
the student corrected? What effect
does the use of present-tense verbs
have on his writing?
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 69 5/2/13 11:22 AM
41. 70 Lesson 3 • Writing Responses to Literature
Writing Assignment
Now use what you’ve learned to edit your response, using the editing checklist
your teacher has provided or one of your own. You may work either on your
computer or on a separate sheet of paper. When you have finished editing your
response, you may publish it.
Parallel Structure
Complicated writing assignments, such as responses to literature, may require
complicated sentences at times. Parallel structure can help make these sorts of
sentences clearer. When you check your writing for parallel structure, you make
sure that all of the items or actions in a series have the same basic structure. For
example, read this sentence:
The plot of the novel was constructed with speed, elegance, and with gusto.
This sentence does not use parallel structure. The phrase and with gusto does
not match the structure of the phrases before it. Here is a better, smoother way of
writing that sentence:
The plot of the novel was constructed with speed, elegance, and gusto.
The removal of the second with makes the structure parallel; the sentence now
simply contains a series of abstract nouns, preceded by one with that refers to all
of them.
Revise the following sentences using parallel structure.
1. The author develops the theme with plot devices, through dialogue, and with
characterization.
2. After you have examined the text, and have read it thoroughly and understand it,
then you will be ready to begin writing.
Try It
Grammar Review
CC13_ELA_L1C_U2_L3_SE 70 5/2/13 11:22 AM
