Far away from Eden, Ep.8.1.: Sea Change!

Far away from Eden, Ep.8.1.: Sea Change!
Description: Chapter 8.1. of my apocalegacy: your horoscope says: you will change - completely,
HARHARHAR...!
Family Name: Apocalypso
Lot Name: Hideout
Categories: Komödie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims,Satire

Mission report 003a, Agent Snuggles:
For summary: As mentioned in earlier
reports, I, Agent Snuggles - from
Blueberrypie360's 'Bearly Alive -
Apocalypse' (Finished, go read it!), was
ordered by high command to find and free
the creator of the Far away from Eden -
Vampogacy, Little Nemo. Research
indicated, that the vile Alien Uranium
Apocalypso - from Ephemeraltoasts
Apocalypse-a-Go-GO - was behind his
disappearance. To find him, I infiltrated a
party of prominent villains from all parts
of the Sim realm, hoping for more
information. Instead, a big explosion
literally 'crashed the party'...
Luckily, someone saved me...
unfortunately, it was...
------
Disclaimer: Visit www.boolprop.com for
more great storiesand legacies, and
www.legacychallenge.com to satisfy your
rule-fetish... =)

... the count, leader of the vampires, who
still terrorize this neighborhood, actually
allied with Uranium Apocalypso... and
currently he confesses his undying love to
me... o_o
" Ooh, my love, my shining star in the
night, how I've waited for you... how
I've longed for you... how I want to
play 'guitar hero' with you..."
mission report 003b: Seems like my
informations about the Count were
correct - he definitely has a screw loose!

"Ookay, Count...you know, I'm a bit
surprised about this... change of
events... but... aren't you with
Uranium actually?"
" Oh, my Love, I'm so ashamed by
your cunning intellect... yes, I confess,
I was bound to this vile alien, who
blended me with her shameless
behaviour... her deep, violet eyes
*sigh*, her hot...
*drool*...shmmexy....BUT rest assured,
that she means nothing to me, not
anymore, now, that I found you, my
only, true love..."
mission report 003c: An interesting fact -
it seems, that the Count has a spleen to
completely focus on another woman once
in a while: first the Founder of this legacy,
Anais Eden, then Uranium Apocalypso,
now me... hm, I might use this to my
advantage...

" Well, then... ehr... I love you too,
Count !, forgive me... "
" You... do? Oh, my love, now I'm the
happiest man alive... well, if I would
be alive, considering I'm undead..."
" Yes, yes, I get it... but first... may I
ask you a favour, Count?"
" A favour? My love, my life and soul
- I mean, if I still had them - are all
yours! Command, and I'll obey!"
"...whatever. See, Count, I'm actually
here for a rescue mission - and
apparently, your... Ex-girlfriend... just
captured the guy I'm trying to rescue.
It's a fat man with a Scuba helmet, do
you know anything about that?"
" A fat man with...? Ah, my love, of
course I know! After all, the vile
Uranium shared even her darkest
secrets with me, like..."

" Great! Now, if you can just show me,
where I can find this guy...?"
" Very well, my love, just follow my
lead, we will be there in no time...and
perhaps we can do some...kinky
things on the way, hehe...*drool* ?"
" Ehrr... we discuss that later, okay?"
mission report 003d: It seems, that I've
actually achieved a breakthrough in my
investigation... hopefully, I'll find Mr.
Nemo now... at least, before the Count
starts getting...
brrr...
Mission report 003 end.

Meanwhile, at the Uni legacy lot:
" Yes... yes... no, Mom, no sign of her
so far... I know, I know... Yes, we
asked everyone... Mom, don't get
hysteric, a calm mind is necessary to...
no Mom, I'm worried, too, after all,
Bethany knows of the importance of
our family's... no Mom..."

... and a bit later:
"... and she even asked me, if I wasn't
worried at all about Bethany's
disappearance... how can she ask
that?"
" Well, partially, that's because your
too damn 'robot', Bea, never showing
emotions.. in other words: you suck."
"... I'm just trying to keep focused,
Brian, it's..."
" Yeah, yeah, bite me... just bite me,
okay?!"
"... and your lazy attitude won't help
much, Brian... seriously, I liked you
more, when you were a 'geek'..."

"Oh, shut up, sis! I'm a werewolf now,
so why should I play 'geek', if I can be
a 'beast', rowwrr...?!"
"... I still liked you more that way...
remember, how much you
appreciated to hug people? Now all
you do is using swear words, play
video games..."

"...and be mean to other people... I
mean, for example, how could you
dare to attack uncle Tony... after all,
what he's done for us..."
" Helloho, it's uncle Tony, we're
talking about... do you know, how
long he had the want to become a
werewolf? He was even thankful, that
I did it, see the apiration points?!"

"... and look, what it did to his hair... I
mean, how many men his age can say,
that they still have natural colored
hair?!"
"...it's still not nice, Brian..."

"... yeah, yeah, crybaby... now, if you
excuse me...hey miss, wanna shake
hands?... ZAP!...hahaha..."
"Hopeless... I'm gonna be late for my
next exam...see you..."

... and so, my 'old' life ended, dear reader...
let's admit, Brian was right, I am... or was , I
hope... a coldhearted person... too much
'robot', as he said... in fact, all my life I tried
to be an overachiever at any cost... to make
my dead father proud, for my own ego, as an
inspiring example for my younger siblings...
but it needed the aspiration change at senior
year, to make me realize...
" BOO, you still suck, sis... what a load of
crap are you telling here, just because
you changed into a Family Sim...?!"
" YOU... might be right, Brian..."
" Yeah, yeah, cry... wait, what?"
"Brian, I don't want us to become like
Mom and Uncle tony, always fighting... I
confess, my behaviour was wrong, and
I'm sorry for that...friends?"
"Pshh...now that's definitely a low blow, I
had so hoped for a bit action...okay,
friends, happy?"
"Thank you, Brian, for giving me a new
chance..."
"Hey, if you now change from a 'robot'
into an overemotional...no chance, girl!"
" *snif*...okay.."
"AAG!"
;)

...but Brian wasn't the only one I had to
persuade, that I really tried to change...
Nick, my future-in-law, was perhaps an
even harder case...

... thankfully, I can be persuasive...

... and I mean, REALLY persuasive...

... don't you think so, Mom?
" *Sigh*... Bea, I'm happy, if you're
happy... still, I'd feel better, if I'd
knew, where Bethany is..."
" Don't worry, mom, I'm sure, we'll
find her...after all, Bethany is a big girl
and more than capable taking care of
herself... trust me, she's fine..."

~ Location: Former secret(?) Lair of
Plutonium Apocalypso, now headquarter
of Uranium apocalypso ~

"... Drat!"
"Everything okay, Mom?"
" Hm? Oh, you again... well, besides
the fact, that your stupid hacking
program..."
" Hey! Last time you liked it..."
" That was before I realized, that I
can't kill the Eden family with it...
stupid, doubleprotected lot... at least I
got rid of these other clowns... what
was I thinking, inviting all these evil
losers over here... oh well, how's our
'special guest' doing?"
" Uhmm, good according to the
circumstances... she only needed a
bit... alone time, after realizing, that
I'm her father... but I've already taken
care of that..."

"..Waaah! Please, let me out! I wanna
go home! This is soooo mean...
*snif*..."
"... Beth, calm down, everything is
gonna be okay..."

"...*snif*... who?... Booger? You're here,
too? And... boy, you know, I
remembered you... well, bigger..."
" *sigh*... that's the problem of every
spare or placeholder family, who's
never played again..."

" Booger, why have they trapped you,
too?"
" Well, Beth, that's the standard
procedure for every disobedient
Apocalypso: incarceration... no, wait,
that's actually not the standard
procedure, the standard procedure
would be cowplantation, but since
Natural Science is still restricted..."
" Booger, what do you mean: 'every
Apocalypso'? Okay, I've now
accepted, that... Plutonium is my...
and Uranium... urrgh!...But you...?"

" Oh, please, don't tell me Beth, you
haven't figured that out by now... I'm
your Halfbrother!"
" WHAT???"
" Hello? Alien origin? Nose like your
Father? And Beth, I really wonder,
why you never noticed, that you have
the purple eyes of the apocalypso
family..."
" Uhm... well, I... never paid really
attention to the fact, after all, I've
never seen my... well, my mother's
husband eyes, so I didn't know...
*sigh*, how about: 'I didn't want to see
the truth, okay?"

" 'kay, sounds good to me... so, have
Grandma and Dad already set up
your training schedule?"
" schedule?"
" Yes, you know, the 'evil' schedule...
'world domination 101', 'killing for
dummies', 'How to make other Sim's
lifes a rotten nightmare'..."

" Booger, what are you talking about?
I never would do such a... schedule...
I'm not evil, I'm good - see, ten nice
points! - and I never would... why
would they even...?"

" Well, Beth, this is actually m...our
fathers idea... See, he's obsessed with
the idea, that a black sheep - I mean,
an
Alien/Vampire/Plantsim/Zombie/
etc. - Sim, must be a really powerful
being... that's, why I actually exist,
since my Grandma is an Alien, my
mother a zombie..."
" Your mother is a zombie?!"
" *sigh*, yes... well, and then Dad
thought, that one of the grand
vampires was his father, and not in
fact Mr. Big, who..."
" Wait a minute... Mr. Big is... is our
grandfather?"
" m-hmm... yeah, well, and since your
family history - Alien Grandma,
Dryad Great-grandma, Robot Great-
grandpa, mother vampire etc... is
pretty weird as well, he thought, he
could succeed this time with the black
sheep thing..."

" So that's it? He captured me, because
he thinks, that I'm a black sheep, and
that he could make me into an... evil
world dominator or so... is he insane?"
" Beth, all apocalypsos are insane to a
certain degree... no offense, half-
sis...but yes, that's in fact the whole
idea!"
" And if I don't want to?"
" Well, they can't cowplant you, but...
starving to death in here is not a much
better option, Beth..."

"... but, but..."
"Beth, it's not that bad... look at me,
I'm still alive, right? You know, Dad
actually tried to teach me all these
things I told you before, even if I
wasn't a black sheep, but he gave up,
because I always sucked both in
theory and praxis... except in
'Advanced Trickery - make other sims
believe, you're a good guy'... but then,
he and Mom rolled too many death
fears, so they couldn't get rid of me..."
" Oh Booger, all that sounds so... so
terrible, how can you actually live
with such a family...?"
" Oh, I'm used to it, it's in fact normal
for me... oh, and you should meet the
others apocalypsos, like Great-Great-
grandfather Boom-Boom, he's a really
cool guy...but anyway, I guess, you
have a chance to stay good AND
alive, if you just make it impossible
for them to kill you....and it seems,
'your' family never had a problem to
make friends..."

"...*snif*... thanks for helping me,
Booger..."
"Hey, anything for my dear little 'big'
half-sister...."

" *Ahem*... I thought, I made my self
clear, no friendly interactions while
imprisoned..."
" Uhhh... errh... Dad, it's not what it
looks like... we.... we just tried to
strangle each other, yes..."
" Oh, well, okay then... okay, Bethany,
come with me, it's time for your first
lesson..."

soon, at the worst place on earth -
school(!):
" Okay, let's go straight to the point:
From now on, you'll call me Mr.
Apocalypso, or teacher... or master...
also, in my class, there will be no
chatting during lessons, I don't want
you to exchange mails with your class
mates, no eating, throwing anything
behind my back, only talk when I ask
you... yes, Beth?"
" Da... I mean, Mr. Apocalypso, I'm
the only one here, who should I... and
you know, I never thought, learning
evilness would be so... so
'schoolish'...."
" Beth, most monsters were created in
schools - mobbers, amok guys,
teachers... and you're definitely a
newbie to evilness, so we have to start
from the basics... okay, first question:
you see someone losing his wallet
without noticing, what're you gonna
do?"
" Of course picking it up and give it to
him!"
" *Sigh*... potty god, give me
strength..."

- back at the Uni lot: -
"Ack, finally, halfway through... ups, I
feel an aspiration change coming...
ohoh, now this a 'pleasant' surprise...
and my new lifetime want is... wow,
guess I'll need some advice for 'that'
one, hehehe..."

" Hey, sis, n'evening, Mom... guess,
what just has happened to me..."
"...baradaba..HOOOW!"
" ...I said 'Guess, what happened to
me'...hey, do you hear me?!"
" Hm? Oh, sorry, brother, I'm
currently a bit busy with cheering up
mom...what's the matter?"
" Well, sis, seems, like you aren't the
only one with an earth-shattering
aspiration change... because I've
switched now, too - so, say hello to
Brian, the 'Pleasure Wolf, lol..."
" Oh, that's...great, Brian... I guess..."
" Oh yeah, great... not to forget
my new lifetime want....hey, have you
seen Gage Uglacy recently?"
" Do you mean the ugly werewolf,
who always hits on the customers..?...
I guess, he's currently outside, having
a waterfight with those other
looneys... I mean, it's winter, who
would...by the way, what do you
want from him...?"
" Oh, just some advice, sis, just some
advice, hehehe..."

soon:
"... to get this right: you want some
advice from me, how to 'get lucky
with the girls' ?"
" Yep, that's the whole idea. See, my
new Lifetime want as a Pleasure Sim
are 50 first dates, so I'll better learn
from a pro..."

" Well, boy, I'm flattered, but... I
thought, your family is so popular for
the dating thing, so why ask me?"
" That's true, and I'm definitely not a
Newbie, I had a girlfriend in school
and there's one girl at campus, so
already two dates down... but being a
werewolf is a different matter. It's
itching in my fingers to play pranks
on others and tell dirty jokes... not the
best way to start new relationships...
so why not learn from somebody, who
has experience with 'werewolf
dating'..."

" Well, if you put it that way... okay,
then listen closely to uncle Gage's
advice: first, all girls love furry, so you
have a natural advantage. Second, be
persistent - if a girl says 'No', she
probably already means 'Yes'..."
" Ehr... and how do I know, if it's a
definitive 'No'?"
" Persistent, boy, persistent... nobody
can resist forever, I tell you... Simselfs
are a good example: they are usually
cold as stone first, but in the end, all
your efforts are rewarded with hot,
passionate...hehehe..."
" Hmmm... okay, Simselfs, do you
say?"
" Hey, don't get any weird ideas now,
boy, it needs a lot of experience to
handle them, and the risk is high, that
they'll kill you, if not satisfied... rather
let uncle Gage deal with the Simselfs
and stay with the townies, it's better
for you..."
" Afraid of competition, Mr. Uglacy?"
" Hahaha, good one... but seriously,
it's dangerous, kid..."
"Oh, Danger is my middle name, Mr.
Uglacy..."

...And with these words, I entered the
'danger' zone... actually, Mr. Uglacy was
right, Simselfs 'are' though subjects... but
hey, nobody in my family was ever afraid
of a challenge... and in the end, it paid
out... and I mean, it REALLY paid out...
be it with avidreader2466...
-----
~avidreader2466 writes the puritanical
green thumb legacy~

...or SayKiwiWithMe...
----
~ Saykiwiwithme writes the Nervous
Legacy ~

... or Sporks007...
-------
~ Sporks007007 writes the Themeless
Legacy~

... or Soulangel890...
---------
~ Soulangel890 wrote and completed the
big firestorm apocalypse challenge~

...or Michellfobbs...
-------
~Michellfobbs writes the planetary
apocalypse challenge~

...or DrSupremeNerd...
---------
~ DrSupremeNerd writes the Vetinary
Dualegacy ~

...or Maxisbuckle...
-----
~ Maxisbuckle writes the pinstar adult
apocalypse challenge ~

... or Cowforbrains1...
-----
~ Cowforbrains1 wrote the Fear legacy
and the Ashbua Legacy ~

... or Dellyo...
--------------
Dellyo writes the 'Apocalypse in Death
valley'-challenge

... (by the way, just to make it clear, I still
like to play pranks... but I'm really good
to make them forgive me for that, lol...)...

...or Orikes360...
-------
~Orikes360 writes the Pseudo Legacy ~

... or Nickywal...
------
~ Nickywal wrote the Walker apocalypse
challenge ~

... or fireflower...
-----
Fireflower aka De wrote the pierce
legacy~

... or Darby...
-----
~Darby writes the 'an unpleasant view'
apocalypse challenge ~

... or Katyann...
-----
~ Katyann writes the Bildungsroman
legacy~

... or Swiffner... oh, yeah, she said, she
prefers girls, but hey, that even doubles
the fun, hehehe...
----
~ Swiffner completed the Ancient
Mythology Alphabet challenge ~

... or Dor...
-----
~ Dor aka Mitinkitten, wrote the
Miyazakis Art legacy - best legacy 4eva!!!

...or professorbutters...
----
~ Professorbutters writes the
squeakyclean legacy ~

...or Hippielayla86...
----
~ Hippielayla writes the 'Peters
apocalypse' challenge ~

... or Smoothiequeen87...
----
~Smoothiequeen writes the 'a villainous
apocalypse' challenge ~

... or Dwhalen213's hubby... yeah, well,
that was actually a mistake, but I guess,
after so many Simselfs, I couldn't think
totally straight anymore... get it?
'Straight', hahaha...
----
~ Dwhalen213 writes the 'Legosta twins'
Apocalypse challenge ~

... or starfrostplayer...
----
~Starfrostplayer writes the Legacy of
doom~

... or Purplebunnysarah...
---
~ Purplebunnysarah writes 'a piratical
legacy'~

... or Dwhalen213 or...
"Stop! For all that is holy, boy, stop!
You're ruining me! How should I
maintain my status as the
'Gagemeister', if you're working
yourself through the entire Simself
population?! "
"Hey, chill out, man...*smooch*... I'm
not 'that' focused on Simselfs... after
all, there aren't enough Simselfs in this
neighborhood for fifty first dates, so I
had some townies on the way, too...
and I'm nearly through anyway..."

"... just one more kiss..."
-----
~ Kira aka CHrystalCrossing writes the
'Apoclypse of grief'-challenge~

"... and.. tada... lifetime want: fifty first
dates fulfilled - Yeha!"

"...okay, thanks babe, we had a great
time and a dreamdate, too, now good-
bye - don't forget to bring me flowers
later..."
" H-hey, that's all? One Kiss, and the
date is over?"
" 25.000 aspiration points, girl, that's
nearly a maxed dating meter, what
more do you want? I don't make the
rules of this game..."

" like bringing flowers over and over
and... hey, wait a minute...there are
some guys in the picture, I didn't date
guys... well, except that one time..."
" These are mine, little brother..."
"What? I thought, you were a family
Sim now, Sis...and what does Nick say
to that?
" Oh, Nicolai likes it, if I talk about my
'imaginary' erotic adventures..."
"... you know, anyone with high moral
standards should give you a lecture
now... but since it's me, I just say
'Neeeeaaaat'...."
" Thanks, Brian..."

... and now to something completely
different: Bluewater village, Ground zero
1/2...

... the (former) GIeke Residence:
*Bark* *Claf* *Bark* (translation: Hey,
anybody still alive? I'm hungry, feed me!)
"Unnng...."

"...what was in the last drink, my head
feels like...horns?"

" Oh my... I mean, Holy Shi... I'm a
teenager again! Even better: I'm a
demon again!"
-----
Remember her from last chapter? It's
actually the Countess, just a bit
younger... watch the previous chapter for
more info...

" Countess, is... is that you?"
"Huh? Who are..."

"...hey, isn't that you, Albert?"
" Y... yeah, seems so..."
"Okay, now this is totally weird... I'm
a demon again, and you're a child...
what happened?"
" It... appears, that the time chamber
had a little malfunction, and its
temporal energies somehow changed
us into earlier version of ourse... Oh
no, my android! He fell into the
chamber, when this explosion hit!
Heavens, he was on Rampage mode!
If he accidentely travels back in time,
he could change history by
destroying...!"
" *Sigh* kid, if you'd told me earlier,
that you build a killer androi... wait a
minute, you wanted him to kill me,
you little miscreant...!... oh well,
nevermind... okay, I can assure you,
that this guy wont cause any troubles
to history... in fact, I knew that... holy
crap, that means, that your this green
[censored]'s grandfather...!"
What are you talking about,
Countess?"
"Oh, forget it... where is this crazy
Apoca-servo, by the way? Also
traveling through time?"

" No... he's... well.."
" *Brzzl*... ERROR... this lot breaks the
natural science restriction, no floor
elevation allowed... ERROR...unable
to follow apocafying protocol...
*Brrrz*..."
" He... changed back into a metal
block? Okay, that's it, now I've seen it
all..."

"... after all, now that I'm a demon
again, I'm finally able to return
home... bye, Albert!"

" Hey! stay here! Countess, you can't
leave me here! I'm just a child now,
what if the Social Service sees me? I
don#t want to go to the..."
" Sorry, kid, I'm not your babysitter...
Yeah, Hell, here I come!!"
" Countess, wait, I...!"
- insert sound of loud, teleporter-like noise
here, with the smell of sulphur and acid -

" Oh... no... *snif*... I'm totally alone
now... Mom, Dad, the Countess, my
Android... I don't want to go to the
orphanage...
BOOHOOOOHOOOO...."
" *Ssssh* Albert, don't cry... everything
is alright, you're not alone anymore..."
" *Snif*... who...?"

" DAD! MOM! You're alive again!"
" Yes, son, and all thanks to your
incredible time chamber... seems like
it even reverted us back to our alive,
non-vampire state..."
" Wow, now that's weird... how big
are the chance that this happens...?"
" *Brrzl*... chances are irrelevant, you
have broken the rules, you have
broken the rules... ERROR, not
allowed ressurection, hacked objects,
not allowed devampirisation, ERROR,
ERROR, ERROR... hey, does anybody
listen to me, you - break - the - rules,
you... *Brrzl* "

" OH Gerd, honey, isn't it wonderful,
to be alive again..?... and we even got
rid of the Countess... we are free!"
" Yeah, babe, but we there are still
some things, we have to solve... like
ending the permawinter that our
malfunctioning weather machine has
caused...or rebuild our house, for that
matter..."
" Oh, Gerd, you're right... but we'll
need money for that, and that really
fast, or we'll get frozen..."
" Yeah.... *sigh* one problem solved,
another one arises... guess, the
Countess doesn't have the problem of
getting a cold, where she went..."

meanwhile, at a really warm place...
" Rock, Paper..."

" YES! I DID IT! 25% of hell for me! I
ROCK!"
" DAMN! I hate this game! Why
couldn't it be a chess match, like the
Reaper does it...?"
"... Dum-de-dum, Oh, Ich bau mir
einen neuen Reichstag (translation:
Dum-de-dum, Oh, I build myself a new
'Reichstag'...)
---
Remember Sonicdude (wrote the Valistor
Legacy)?
A few chapters before, he started to
bargain with HIM (you know, who is
meant...): his Ex-girlfriend's (the founder
of this legacy) adress against a part of hell
to rule(!)...
Also in the background, see HIS
grandson, Simler... dont worry,
punishment is on the way... ;)

" See, Christina? I did it! I'm a ruler of
hell now!"
" ... Great Dad... took you long
enough, after all... by the way, you
have a grandson now... "
" A grand...? Ohoh, Chrissi, you bad
girl....."
" Hell yeah, Mr. 'Dude', your daughter
is surely a first class b..."
" SHUT UP, MAXWELL! And to make
it totally clear for both of you: I'm not
going to call my boy Anti-Chris or
something like that, understood?!"
" ... sorry, dear..."
------
And here's Christina, Sonicdude's
Offspring from a pregnancy experiment
with the creator of this story... and it
seems, she's now the mother of the An...
ehr...oh, nevermind...

"...anyway, I won! Soooo... we're clear
on all part of the terms, right?"
" Yeah, yeah... but first you'll tell me,
where Anais is, then I hand you over
the property documents!"
" Nu, uh, first the documents, then the
address, do you think, I'm stupid? "
" *Sigh*... I have to admit, Mr.
Sonicdude... in all the millenia I've
never found such a hard bargaining
partner... okay, you've won, I...."
- insert loud teleportation noise here...
sulphur and acid smell not necessary, we
are already in hell...

"...what the...?...Hey, you're..."
" Oh dammit, not even a few seconds
back home, and the first thing I see, is
my Ex... "

" ...you're Lilith! Girl, we haven't seen
each other for an eternity - literally!
How're you doing and... wow, you
look as lovely as the first time we
met...!"
" Urgh... spare me your love
confession, you little, treacherous..."
" Aww... but Lilith... why so angry,
that doesn't suit your sweet face... was
it something I did...?"

" SOMETHING YOU DID?! I tell you
what you did: you betrayed me with
another girl, turned me into a grand
vampire - and do you think, gypsies sell
their vamp-d to their main source of
income? -, I wasn't able to go back to hell
for thousands of years, had to deal with
the Count and his stupidity, with
vampires, dancing zombies, aliens,
robots and other morons... AND YOU
ASK ME, WHAT YOU DID??!! I HATE
YOU... AND IF WE WEREN'T
ALREADY THERE, I'D SAY: 'GO TO
HELL!' "
"Uh... girl... it that's still about Anais..."
" DON'T SAY THAT NAME! I NEVER
WANT TO HEAR IT! I HATE THIS
GREEN FREAK AND HER WHOLE
FAMILY... well, except Antoine perhaps,
but..."
" W..wait, don't tell me, you know where
they are...?"
" YOOOOUUUU... *Hfff*, know what,
I'm done with you... I don't care
anymore... I have my life back, why
should I even bother... leave me alone,
get lucky with this hoe..."
" Yes, okay, but could you please tell me,
where she is?"
"... ..just follow the vampires, dancing
zombies and other crap, can't miss it..."

"...I'm out of here... hey Maxwell, long
time no see... ohoh, who's that?"
"Hey Lilith... yeah, well seems like I'm
a daddy now, right? I'm going to call
him..."
" MAXWELL!"
"...uh, not Anti-chris, okay... how
about… Damien instead...?"
"Bye, Lilith... and thanks for saving
me from handing over hell..."
" Wh.. what?"
" Yep, that's right, Mr. Sonicdude, our
contract is void now... why sould I
pay for an information, I already
have?"

" YOU... you can't do that! We've
already agreed on everything, you just
can't say 'it's over', you...!"
" Oh, can't I ? Well, watch me..."
" I.. I will crash satellites on your head,
sprinkle you with acid-canons, torture
you with poisoned feathers..."
" Mister Sonicdude... If you haven't
realized already, I'm the ruler of hell...
no matter, what kind of torture you
can think of, I've already seen it...
even more, most things came from my
mind...and about the threats of a mere
mortal I can only yawn..."

" but... but ... that's not fair!"
" Of course it's not fair! This is hell
after all, it's supposed to be unfair!"
" but.. but.."
" But tell you what, you really
impressed me... the bargaining, the
ideas... well, I might be unfair, but not
that unfair... so I guess, I can you a
consolidation price instead..."

"... you can have my grandson."
" WAS?! (translation: What?!)
" WHAT?!"
" O..opa, ich... (translation: Grandpa,
I...)
" Instead of hell, you want to give me
this... this... are you insane?!"
" No, no, I insist on that... believe me,
having him around, is truely a living
hell, so you'll get in fact, what you
wanted..."

"...and now excuse me please, I have
to plan my travel up to earth, have a
nice day, you two..."
" You... you... come back! We're not
finished yet! I want my money back!
I'm cancelling my vacation here
immediately! I'll tell everyone of the
bad service here...!"
"... Opa, das kann nicht dein Ernst
sein... (translation: Grandpa, you can't be
serious...)"

"... and you... you aren't allowed to
speak, as long as your master hasn't
allowed it, you dog! Burn!"
" AAAIIIIIIEEEEEYYYYYY!!!"
" I said 'Burn', not 'electrocute', you
moron...!"
"
AAAAAWWWWWWWOOOOOO..."

"....WOOOOOOOOHOOOH!
Congrats to Graduation, Sis!"
" Haha, thanks, Brian... but please,
stop howling, I'm nearly peeing my
pants..."
" Well, that's why I'm doing it..."
" You're mean..."
" Yes, I am!"

" Happy graduation, Hun!"
" Oh Nick, I'm so happy...*sigh*, if
only Beth could be here right now..."
" Bah, I think, she's okay... I mean
she's a romance Sim, Romance Sims
always have a head of their own, so
perhaps she just followed a bus full
with muscular bodybuilders..."
" That's not funny, Nick, Beth could be
in danger..."
" ...and therefore we have to moan and
cry all day? Sorry, doll, but I have
better plans... like... an engagement
ring?"
" Oh, Nick..."
[insert romantic music here]

...and so, my time at college ended - GPA
4.0., around 50 friends, an uni lot for
future generations, a community
business, that reached level 10, I earned
around 70.000 in cash - oh, and I became
a prominent singer among the zombie
community in our neighborhood... well,
not as succesful as my Grandma, but it
has to be enough...

... besides, I think, I've gained a good
consolidation price...

... minus the morning sickness, of course...
" Bawa wik?"
" No, not sick, just working on the
next generation, uncle...you know, it's
actually unbelievable, you're really
my uncle, and my child will be your
grandnephew... talk about late
pregnancies..."

... yes, you've read right, dear reader,
Uncle Jun - Alexandre Junior, to be
precise - is my Grandmother Anais
youngest child - and she would be able to
spawn more kids, if she wants...!

...perhaps it isn't such a bad idea to die a
natural death... uncle Tony for example
has decided to do so... but before that, it
seems, that he wants to mold his brother
into a spittin' image of himself...

...because uncle Jun already shows this
hunger... the hunger for knowledge... I
mean, how many children do you know,
who already can tell you everything about
the chemical reactions, anatomical
changes and biological processes during a
pregnancy... okay, I was like him at that
time, but it's a different thing, if you're
one who's pregnant...

... and the initial pain is different as well,
if you're the one who goes through it...

... but so is the joy... welcome to this
world, Cecil Maurice Eden!

Grandma and Grandpa adored little Cecil
from the start - and put a bit of my stress
away, so I could finally start searching for
a job...

... and it took me only three days to find
the one I was searching for... or better, I
was meant for...

...a job as a musician! My career in college
had me already prepared for 'professional'
singing, so it was obvious, which career
I'd choose... I'll be easily on top in no...
oh, look at the time, I have to go... see you,
and thanks for listening!

Elsewhere:
"YeeeHaaa.. another point for me!
This'll be a new high score...!"
*AHEM*
"Oh....erh... Hi, ma... ehr, I was just..."
" Yes, I see..."

" ...sooo, my *dear* Plutonium... how's
our student doing...?"
" Well, Ma...see, Bethany is.. she
is...well..."
" Yesss...?"
" *sigh*... well, she's totally perfect, if
it's about theory... you should see her
thesis of all the possibilities you could
kill somebody succesfully...heck, there
were some methods, even I didn't
knew...!"
"and in practice...?"
"UH, well... that's..."

" Uh, Da... I mean, Mr. Apocalypso?
I'm finished with my essay about the
Marquis de SimSade - boy, I didn't
knew, that he was in fact a
revolutionary and fought for a free
Simhood - may I now go play some
kicky bag with the others? Oh, and
Mrs. Julia wanted to show me some
new cosmetic tips, and Larch
promised me to..."
" OH, I KNEW IT! YOU'RE USELESS!
I'm telling you to drill her to become
evil, and all you do, is to put her into a
classroom and give her homework!"
"Ma... it's not that easy... I've made big
progress with her, she's already
starting to forget her homework
and..."
"....Okay, that was the last straw! The
Count's missing, my other Self in
SnootCB's 'hood just turned into a
family Sim, my son 's an imbecile, my
granddaughter is a potty goddamn
goody girl... I can't take this any
more!!!"
"M... Ma, calm down, I...."
" SILENCE!... from now on, I''ll take
things into my own hands... Girl,
come here, we need to... 'talk'...!"

Soon - into an old abandoned factory
made by V1ndicare at mts2.com, that just
needed to be in the story, because it's so
cool....

" G... Grandma, what are we doing
here? I thought you just wanted to
talk..."
" No, no talking anymore, no stupid
studies... to be evil, the best way to
achieve it, is practice..."
" Can't I just write a theory over...?"
" No! But don't worry, I've already
took care, that you'll learn it in the
easiest way possible..."
" Y... you're not going to hurt me,
Grandma, do you?"
"No, but I want you to hurt somebody
else, dear... ah, there he comes..."

" Hello Uranium, hello guys, Wow,
now that's a great place for an evil
me... *gasp*... Be.. Bethany, you here?"
" N... Nick Wood? Is that you?"
" Hello to you too, Mr. Wood, thanks
for coming..."
" W... what is the meaning of this,
Grandma?"

" Oh, no big mystery, Beth, Mr. Wood
is just one of my minions..."
" What?!"
" And a really useful one... see, to
finally get rid of your family, I wanted
him to infiltrate and kill you all... and
he was rather successful so far, he
already killed your uncle and your
stepfather..."
" Uh, yeah, about the killing thing...
Uranium, may I ask you a favor? I
mean, can we keep my fiancé alive?
See, I really like her, I mean, I admire
Loki Beaker, but I always had a weak
spot for Chloe Single..."

" YOU... you want to kill my family?!"
"No, dear, he'd already started...
though I had hoped, there would be
another death soon..."
"Hey, they are getting more careful...
my mother-in-law for example runs
around with guns the whole day... oh,
but I've already 'preparated' them, one
shot, then 'BOOM'..."
" Impressive..."
" YOU... YOU... TRAITOR!!"
" Uh... isn't she on our side? I figured,
since she's here..."
" Oh, she isn't... not yet... but
hopefully..."

*Slap*Slap*Slap*
" YOU... YOU SWINE! BASTARD!
CREEP! TWAT! SON OF A...!"
" OWEEH!"
"Perfect, dear, that's the spirit... seems
like your evil genes are finally kicking
in... oh by the way, he also said one
time, that your butt looks too big for
him..."
" I'd never..AUUGH!"

" H...HELP! I...ARRG!"
"WOOO, finally some action!"
"Impressive, Uranium, sacrificing
your own minion..."
" Bah, he was already turning against
me as well, Larsee, trying to bargain,
you've heard him... besides, I want the
whole family dead, so this includes
him, too..."
"I can feel it... the force is strong with
her... it's true, fear is the path to the
dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger
to hate, hate to..."
" Yeah, yeah, something like that,
Lord..."

"DIEDIEDIE!!!"
"AIIIIIEEEEHHH!!!"
*FWWWOOOOOSH*

" Uhhh... do you think it's normal, that
flames start to erupt during a fight?"
" Uh, oh, this is not looking good... m..
maybe we should better take shelter,
before it's going to..."

*BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMFFFFFFF*

" W...w... what... happened? W....
who...?"

" *Unng*... that's it, I quit... Uranium,
do you hear me? Everyone around
you is constantly in danger.."
" *Hhfff*... everyone still alive? I
mean, in one part?"
" Y...yeah, seems so... but where's
Bethany...?"
Over here, Dad...
" B... Bethany? Is... is that you?"
Yes, Grandma...
" B... Bethany... e... everything okay?"

...in fact, I feel better than ever
before...

... better than ever, hahahar...!... well,
but I could some new clothes...
*DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN
DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN
DUN*
to be continued

Epilogue I:
"...Uhnn... Nick, where are you? I... I
think, another baby is coming..."

Epilogue II:
Mission report 004:
The. Count. is. the. biggest. idiot. ever!
" Hello, my dear strange passer-by's...
uh, could you tell me the way to the
ultra-secret prison, where the creator
of this neighborhood is trapped? It
seems, that I've got a bit lost..."
" Uh... no?"
"Mate, pinch me... oh yeah, you don't
have anything to pinch... anyway, I've
never expected to see someone, who is
even dumber than you..."
" Oh, thank you Capt'n..."

Far away from Eden, Ep.8.1.: Sea Change!

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