1. Bullying Prevention
Workshop for Parents
Amanda Nickerson, Ph.D.
Associate Professor and Director
Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention
University at Buffalo
alberticenter@buffalo.edu
gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter

2. Key Points of Presentation
• What is Bullying?
• Recognize the Warning Signs
• “Bullyproofing” My Child
• My Child is Being Bullied
• My Child Might Be Bullying Others
• How Do I Get Help?

3. What is Bullying?

4. What is Bullying?
Intentional, usually repeated
acts of verbal, physical, or
written aggression by a peer
(or group of peers) operating
from a position of strength or
power with the goal of hurting
the victim physically or
damaging status and/or social
reputation
Olweus (1978); United States Department of Education (1998)

5. What are the Different
Types of Bullying?
• Physical bullying
o punching, shoving, acts that hurt people
• Verbal bullying
o name calling, making offensive remarks
• Indirect bullying
o spreading rumors, excluding, ganging up
• Cyber bullying
o sending insulting messages, pictures or threats by
e-mail, text messaging, chat rooms
Hinduja & Patchin (2009)

6. How is Bullying Different
from Teasing and Conflict?
Bullying: Based on a power
imbalance; intent to cause
psychological or physical harm;
usually repeated
Teasing: Fun, good-natured,
“give-and-take” between friends
to get both parties to laugh
Conflict: A
struggle, dispute, or
misunderstanding between
two equal forces

7. When and Where
Does Bullying Occur?
• Pre-K through late high school (and beyond); peaks
in grades 4-7
• Can happen anywhere, but it is most likely to occur
in less closely supervised areas (bus, locker
room, hallways, playground, online)

8. Is Bullying Different
in Boys and Girls?
• Boys
o More direct, physical bullying
o Bully more frequently than girls
o Bully both boys and girls
• Girls
o More indirect (harder to detect)
o Often occurs in groups and with girls of same age
o Cyberbullying slightly more common than for males
Banks (2000); Cook, Williams, Guerra, Kim, & Sadek, (2010); Crick & Grotpeter, (1995); Hinduja & Patchi (2009);
Hoover & Oliver, (1996); Nansel et al., (2001); Olweus, (2002); Underwood, (2003)

9. What do we Know about
Students who Bully?
• Desire for power and control
• Get satisfaction from others’ suffering
• Justify their behavior (“he deserved it”)
• More exposed to physical punishment
• More likely to be depressed
• May have other problem behaviors (alcohol and
drug use, fighting)
Batsche & Knoff (1994); Beaver, Perron, & Howard, (2010); Olweus (1993);
Swearer et al. (in press); Vaughn, Bender, DeLisi, (in press)

10. Recognize the
Warning Signs

11. What are Signs that Child
May be Bullying Others?
• Refer to others negatively (wimp, loser)
• Lack empathy
• Strong need to get his or her own way
• Hostile/defiant attitude
• Anger easily
• Deny involvement or blame others when behavior is
addressed

12. What are Characteristics of
Children who are Bullied?
• Have a position of relative weakness
o Age, ethnic background, financial status, disability, sexual orientation
• Most are passive and lack assertiveness
o Do nothing to invite aggression
o Do not fight back when attached
o May relate better to adults than peers
• Some provoke others
o Offend, irritate, tease others
o Reactive; fight back when attacked
Boivin, Poulin, & Vitaro (1994); Hodges & Perry (1999);
Olweus (1978, 1993, 2001); Schwartz (2000); Snyder et al. (2003)

13. What are Kids Bullied About?
• Appearance/body size
• Perceived sexual orientation
• How masculine or feminine they appear to be
• Ability at school (“invisible” disabilities)
• Race/ethnicity
• Money
• Religion
“If they look different, love different, or walk different”
- Kevin Jennings

14. What are Signs that
Child May be Bullied
• Unexplained illnesses, cuts/bruises
• Not wanting to go to school or be in social situations
• Any change in behavior
o Not interested in doing things that he/she used to like doing
o Withdrawn

15. What are Consequences for
Youth who Bully?
• More likely to experience legal or criminal troubles
as adults
• Poor ability to develop and maintain positive
relationships in later life
Andershed, Kerr, & Stattin (2001); Farrington (2009);
Farrington, & Ttofi (2009, 2011); Oliver, Hoover, & Hazler
(1994); Olweus (1993); Ttofi & Farrington (2008)

16. What are Consequences for
Targets of Bullying?
• Emotional distress
• Loneliness, peer rejection
• Desire to avoid school
• Increased anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation; low
self-esteem
• In some cases, may respond with extreme violence
Boivin, Hymel, & Bukowski (1995);
Boulton & Underwood (1992);
Crick & Bigbee (1998);
Egan & Perry (1998);
Hinduja, & Patchin, (2009);
Kochenderfer & Ladd (1996);
Nickerson & Sltater (2009);
Olweus (1993); Perry et al. (1988)

17. “Bullyproofing”
My Child

18. Be a Positive Role Model
• Talk with and listen to your child (about school,
peers, interests
• Listen to and validate concerns about friends and
other students
• Treat others with dignity and respect
• Avoid using derogatory terms toward or about
others in person and/or electronically
(View Think Before You Speak video)
Hymel, Nickerson, & Swearer Education.com

19. Get and Stay Involved
• Get involved in school, in community, and at home
o Do so in a developmentally appropriate way (mindful of child’s and
school’s preference)
• Visit school’s website and read newsletters
• Know the school’s policies in terms of bullying
prevention and intervention
• Join the PTA and volunteer
• Attend extracurricular and sporting events
o Support child’s talents and competence
o Get to know coaches, counselors, and leaders

20. Teach Children Good Habits
Early and Consistently
• Have high expectations for behavior and a low
tolerance for being mean
• Be specific about how specific words and behaviors
can hurt others
• Teach better ways to respond
(All feelings are OK –
but not all behaviors are OK)
• Emphasize the importance
of being a friend

21. Bullying, Friendship, and
Relationships
Visit gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter
for other resources and conversation starters

22. Teach Children to be
Upstanders, not Bystanders
• Don’t join in… speak up if it is safe to do so
• Band together as a group against bullies
• Tell an adult about the bullying
o Tattling/ratting = telling an adult to get someone in trouble
o Telling/reporting = telling an adult because someone’s behavior is unsafe
or hurtful to another
• Reach out to isolated peers, offer support
• See http://wearethesolution.net

23. Cyberbullying Prevention
• Teach responsible use of technology
o Only communicate things that you would be OK
about your parents seeing
o Follow rules (no Facebook under age of 13)
o Beware of anonymous sites like Formspring
o Use the “off” switch
• Do not respond to upsetting communications
• Supervise and limit activities (no 24/7)
o Have computers in common areas (not in
bedroom)
o Know child’s password
o Be friend on Facebook
o Bring cell phones, computers to parents’ room to
charge overnight

24. My Child is
Being Bullied

25. If Your Child is Being Bullied
(View From the Mouth of Youth video)
• Listen and empathize
o “Tell me what happened”
o “That must have been very scary for you”
o Thank child for telling you
• Take it seriously
o Do not minimize of trivialize

26. If Your Child is Being Bullied
• Work with child to find out more about situation and
to problem-solve
o Responses like “just ignore it,” “give him a good whack,” what did you do
to bother him or her?” won’t help
• Work in partnership with school and with outside
professionals if needed
• Follow-up

27. My Child Might Be
Bullying Others

28. If Your Child is Bullying Others
• Send clear, firm, and supportive message that the
behavior is not OK and that you are going to work
with child to change it (meaningful consequences)
• Try to figure out why your child is bullying
o Desire for social power or status?
o Temperament issue that needs more adult regulation?
o Going along with peers?
o Being bullied by others and lashing out?

29. If Your Child is Bullying Others
• Work with teacher or counselor to plan for change
o Involve child in developing alternate behaviors or ideas to gain leadership
and “social status” that don’t involve bullying others
• Provide specific examples (from your experience;
carefully screened books and media)

30. How Do I Get Help?

31. Know that there are
Resources Available
Local Resources for Families
• Family Resource Centers (Cleveland Hill 836-7200 Ext. 8363)
• Catholic Charities – 218-1400
• Child & Adolescent Treatment Services Intake – 835-780
• Child & Family Services – 842-750
• Prevention Focus/Teen Focus – 884-3256
• Erie County Council for the Prevention of Alcohol & Substance
Abuse – 831-2298
• Mental Health Association of Erie County – 886-1242
• Police (911)
Referrals for Students in Crisis
• 1-800-273-TALK (Suicide Lifeline)
• 1-866-4-U-Trevor (LGBTQ Youth Suicide Hotline)
• 716-834-1144 or 1-877-KIDS-400 (Buffalo Crisis Services Hotline)

32. Questions?
Thank you for your attention and interest!
To make the best use of our
time, please make sure your
question is…
1. A question, rather than a
statement
1. Something I am likely to
be able to answer
For more resources, please visit us at gse.buffalo.edu/alberticenter