task 4

1. Alice RoseCOPY EDITING

2. Veganism: A philosophy and way of living.
Veganism is a widely controversial way of living that seeks to exclude the exploitation of animals for
food, clothing, testing and entertainment. Veganuary is a global campaign that launched in January
2014 to help encourage people to try vegan for January. With a success of 3,200 people ready to
commit in January 2014, the campaign has gone from strength to strength to help raise awareness of
this lifestyle.
Veganism not only helps to reduce the suf fering of animals and help the planet but also improves
personal health. Due to the fact vegans do not eat animals or their products, they must find the
essential nutrients they need from plant based sources, vegan alternatives and fortified foods. This
means that vegans eat a lot more fruits and vegetables than omnivores. Vegans get the most amount
of nutrients they can from their food and are keen to make sure they know how to get everything they
need such as iron. However, vitamin B12 is a vitamin that can be hard for vegans to obtain as it is
found in meat, which is created by bacteria but is also added to fortified foods such as breakfast
cereals. A supplement of B12 is the easiest way to make sure you do not lack it in your diet.
Not only do vegans tend to be more well informed of what their body needs and what their food
contains but avoiding meat and animal products can help to virtually eliminate the most severe
diseases such as cardiovascular disease, obesity, type 2 diabetes, diverticulosis and e.coli infections.
A vegan diet can be more beneficial to women as PMS symptoms become less intense or disappear
altogether. This is due to the elimination of dairy from their diet.
Veganism helps the environment and helps to stop excess greenhouse gases . Over 70 billion land
animals such as cows, pigs and chickens are specifically bred, farmed and killed for food every year.
This does not include sea creatures and other animals bred for fur and skin trades. The meat industry
has a big impact on the environment and how use our natural resources. 70% of the fresh water
produced is used for the meat industry and takes 2500 gallons of water for 1 pound of beef. This is
equivalent to 100 pounds of wheat. 70% of the worlds grain harvest is fed to livestock while the other
30% is used for the entire worlds population. Only 50% of grain harvest could feed all the starving
people in the world if only people would stop eating meat.
ORIGINAL ARTICLE – 432 WORDS

3. SPELLING, GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION
Veganism: A philosophy and way of living.
Veganism is a widely controversial way of living that seeks to exclude the exploitation of animals for
food, clothing, testing and entertainment. Veganuary is a global campaign that launched in January
2014 to help encourage people to try veganism for the month of January. With a success of 3,200
people ready to commit in January 2014, the campaign has gone from strength to strength to help
raise awareness of this lifestyle.
Veganism not only helps to reduce the suf fering of animals and help the planet but also improves
personal health. Due to the fact vegans do not eat animals or their products, they must find the
essential nutrients they need from plant-based sources, vegan alternatives and fortified foods. This
means that vegans eat a lot more fruits and vegetables than omnivores. Vegans get the most amount
of nutrients they can from their food and are keen to make sure they know how to get everything they
need such as iron. However, vitamin B12 is a vitamin that can be hard for vegans to obtain as it is
found in meat, which is created by bacteria but is also added to fortified foods such as breakfast
cereals. A supplement of B12 is the easiest way to make sure you do not lack it in your diet.
Not only do vegans tend to be more well informed of what their body needs and what their food
contains but avoiding meat and animal products can help to virtually eliminate the most severe
diseases such as cardiovascular disease, obesity, type 2 diabetes, diverticulosis and e. coli infections.
A vegan diet can be more beneficial to women as PMS symptoms become less intense or disappear
altogether. This is due to the elimination of dairy from their diet.
Veganism helps the environment and helps to stop excess greenhouse gases. Over 70 billion land
animals such as cows, pigs and chickens are specifically bred, farmed and killed for food every year.
This does not include sea creatures and other animals bred for fur and skin trades. The meat industry
has a big impact on the environment and how we use our natural resources. 70% of fresh water is used
for the meat industry and for example, it takes 2500 gallons of water to produce 1 pound of beef. This
is equivalent to 100 pounds of wheat. 70% of the worlds grain harvest is fed to livestock while the
other 30% is used for the entire world’s population. Only 50% of the grain harvested could feed all the
starving people in the world if only people would stop eating meat.

4.  “With a success of 3,200 people ready to commit in January 2014…” I will take this part
out as I can’t find the source to back this up anywhere, therefore making it invalid.
 “Vegans get the most amount of nutrients they can from their food and are keen to make
sure they know how to get everything they need such as iron .” This is an over-
generalisation as it is more likely for vegans to be healthier but you can’t assume that
every vegan is healthier than someone who also eats animal products.
 “A vegan diet can be more beneficial to women as PMS symptoms become less intense or
disappear altogether.” This is again written as a definite when it doesn’t necessarily
happen to every woman who decides to eliminate animal products from their diet.
 “Over 70 billion land animals such as cows, pigs and chickens are specifically bred,
farmed and killed for food every year. This does not include sea creatures and other
animals bred for fur and skin trades .” According to the source found, this information is
incorrect as it is actually over 56 billion. “Over 56 billion farmed animals are killed every
year by humans. These shocking figures do not even include fish and other sea creatures
whose deaths are so great they are only measured in tonnes.” -
http://www.animalequality.net/ food
 “70% of the fresh water produced is used for the meat industry and takes 2500 gallons
of water for 1 pound of beef.” This fact is incorrect as according to PETA it takes “more
than 2,400 gallons of water”, rounding it up to 2,500 creates an inaccuracy as it may not
be as much as 2,500. Gracelinks also have reported that in the US, agriculture is
responsible for 80% of all water consumed, not 70%. This fact also has no link to where
it is talking about, it is not clear whether it means for the whole world, or a specific
country.
 “70% of the worlds grain harvest is fed to livestock while the other 30% is used for the
entire worlds population.” After researching this fact, theflamingvegan.com said that
this figure was only an average which is not stated in the article.
CUTS/FACTUAL SOURCES

5. Veganism: A philosophy and way of living .
Veganism is a widely controversial way of living that seeks to exclude the exploitation of animals for
food, clothing, testing and entertainment. Veganuary is a global campaign that launched in January
2014 to help encourage people to try veganism for the month of January, the campaign has gone from
strength to strength to help raise awareness of this lifestyle.
Veganism not only helps to reduce the suf fering of animals and help the planet but also improves
personal health. Due to the fact vegans do not eat animals or their products, they must find the
essential nutrients they need from plant -based sources, vegan alternatives and fortified foods. This
means that vegans eat a lot more fruits and vegetables than omnivores. Vegans will find it easier to
get the most amount of nutrients they can from their food and need to be keen to make sure they know
how to get everything they need such as iron. However, vitamin B12 is a vitamin that can be hard for
vegans to obtain as it is found in meat, which is created by bacteria but is also added to fortified foods
such as breakfast cereals. A supplement of B12 is the easiest way to make sure you do not lack it in
your diet.
Not only do vegans tend to be more well informed of what their body needs and what their food
contains but avoiding meat and animal products can help to virtually eliminate the most severe
diseases such as cardiovascular disease, obesity, type 2 diabetes, diverticulosis and e. coli infections.
A vegan diet can be more beneficial to women as PMS symptoms can become less intense or disappear
altogether. This is due to the elimination of dairy from their diet. This can also lead to a reduced risk
of cancer development as dairy includes a chemical called Casein which facilitates the growth and
development of cancer.
EDITED ARTICLE

6. Veganism helps the environment and helps to stop excess greenhouse gases. Over 56 billion
land animals such as cows, pigs and chickens are specifically bred, farmed and killed for food
every year. This does not include sea creatures and other animals bred for fur and skin trades.
The meat industry has a big impact on the environment and how we use our natural resources.
80% of fresh water is used for the meat industry and for example, it takes over 2400 gallons of
water to produce 1 pound of beef. This is equivalent to 100 pounds of wheat. On average, 70% of
the worlds grain harvest is fed to livestock while the other 30% is used for the entire world’s
population. Only 50% of the grain harvested could feed all the starving people in the world if only
people would stop eating meat. Agricultural scientists estimate that eating meat requires four -
and-a-half times more land than is necessary for a vegan diet, with 30% of the earth’s surface
used to rear animals.
EDITED ARTICLE