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Socialgraces
1. It isn’t just a SKILL…it’s an ATTITUDE!”
“Putting OTHERS’ needs BEFORE your OWN…”
“BEING AT EASE with yourself and being able to LET
OTHERS SHINE…”
2. Social graces are skills used to interact politely in social situations. They
include manners, etiquette (the specific accepted rules within a culture for the
application of universal manners),deportment and fashion. These skills were once
taught to young women at a finishing school or charm school. The focus of social
graces has changed over the last century, recently with an emphasis on business
etiquette and international protocol.
Social grace refers to the general behavior and attitude of being polite and
welcoming to people. This means putting other's needs before your own in some
cases, like offering a chair to an elderly person rather than sitting down on it first. It
also means paying attention to your own behavior to make sure you aren't offending
others.
3. Social grace(s) include things like:
• Making proper introductions to people.
• Listening and not interrupting in
conversation.
• Using good table manners.
• Maintaining good cell phone etiquette.
• Being careful not to put your foot in your
mouth.
4. One simple rule to remember: "You acknowledge the most important
first,“ by saying his or her name first as you introduce someone else to
him or her.
Social introductions are based on chivalry, so both formal and informal
introductions are made according to age, then gender, then social status.
When making the introduction, as you say each of the individuals'
names, look directly at him or her. When you can, add in a little
something about the person.
5. First things first, identify the silver ware or the
normally used utensils in a formal dining.
At very formal meals, it's considered polite to talk
to the person on each side of you, rather than
someone across or further down the table.
When in doubt about what to do, wait and follow
the lead of your host; if it's a business meal, watch
your boss for cues.
6. In most cases there are three
(3) forks, two (2) knives and
three (3) spoons. Always
remember that the placement
of your utensils offers a hint
about their purpose and how
to use them. During the formal
meal you are expected to use
your utensils from the outside
in (moving toward the plate).
7. The Salad Fork is located closest to your napkin on the left side of your place
setting. It is smaller than your Dinner Fork . Just as the names suggest, the Salad Fork is
to be used for your salad course.
Dinner Fork which is then located to the right of the salad fork and to the
immediate left of your dinner plate. The Dinner Fork is for your main dinner course.
The Cake Fork is located at the top edge of your dinner plate and it should be used
during the dessert course. You should hold your fork horizontally by balancing it between
the first knuckle of the middle finger and the tip of the index finger while the thumb
steadies the handle. Your left hand should then rest on your lap as you eat. If you are left-
handed then you would rest your right hand as you eat.
8. There are three spoons used during a formal dinner party.
The utensil located to the right of your plate on the outside is the Soup
Spoon. This spoon is larger than the Teaspoon.
Teaspoon is one place closer to the plate and slightly smaller.
The third spoon at the setting is the Dessert Spoon. Like the cake
fork, the dessert spoon is located at the top of the plate and below the place
card and water glass. The spoon should also be held horizontally, balanced
between the first knuckle of the middle finger and the tip of the index finger.
9. The knives at your place setting will be located one to the right of the plate and
the other diagonally across the bread plate.
The Dinner Knife is immediately next to the plate and should be used with the
right hand if you are right-handed. It is used with the tip of the index finger leaning
on the blade of the knife and you should be careful not to apply too much pressure;
simply use it for control and to guide you as you cut your food. As you hold your
food with the tines of your fork (now located in your left hand) in North America it
is then customary to lay the knife across the top edge of your plate and switch your
fork to the dominant hand, left or right.
10. The Bread Knife should be used to butter your bread. You
should never place soiled or used utensils back on the table cloth.
These should always be placed on your dinnerware once they have
been used; you wouldn't want to mess up your host's lovely table
cloth.
11. The Water Goblet is placed directly above the place knife usually
the biggest glass and is held at the lower end when you drink.
The Champagne Glass is next to the water glass.
The Claret or Red Wine or White Wine Glasses are positioned in
front of or between the water goblet and champagne glasses. Red wine
is usually cupped or cradled under the base to keep it warm. White wine
is usually held by the stem of the glass to keep the wine chilled.
12. The Sherry Glass is placed either to the right or in front of the
wine glasses. Rather than grouping all the glasses at a setting they are
sometimes arrange in a straight slanting line starting from the water
goblet at the upper left to the sherry to the lower right.
Red wine is taken with red meat, white wine with white meat, sherry
with pink meat.
(Red meat-beef,)(white meat-chicken, fish),( pink meat-pork).
13. Once you have arrived at the restaurant and you have been seated the next thing
you should do is remove your napkin from its place, unfold it and place it on
your lap. This is where you should keep it until you need it. Take the time to unfold
rather than shake the napkin open before placing it on your lap. In some restaurants
the wait person may provide this service for you. If you prefer, it is perfectly okay
to do this yourself instead of allowing the waiter to place it for you. The napkin
should remain on your lap until either it is needed or the meal ends.
If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself from the table and dining area
and use your handkerchief or a tissue. This is not an appropriate use of the dinner
napkin.
14. You should never use your napkin to clean your silverware or to wipe your
face.
If you need to excuse yourself from the table, you should use one hand to
grab the napkin and then loosely fold the napkin, placing it to the left or right
of your plate. There is no need to refold your napkin, but try not to crumple
it or make it into a ball. Never leave the napkin on the chair or on the floor.
At the end of the meal, leave the napkin semi-folded at the left side of the
place setting or on the plate. Either of these moves will signal to the wait staff
that you have completed that course.
