Love is a practice that requires attention and willingness. When faced with heartbreak, one can accept what happened, leave the situation, or work to change one's perspective. Through honest self-reflection and owning our experiences of negativity, we can transform fear into a path towards love.

1. Love is a Practice.
We are here to Love; let’s Love each other well.
Like everything,
our willingness to Love and be Loved,
expands in direct proportion to
the amount of attention we give it.
Getting Dumped on Yoga
by Anna Allocco May 2012
Practice Love. Heal Yourself. Practice Love. Heal Others. Practice Love. Heal Yourself.

2. One of the first Yoga Sutras states
that Yoga is the practice of stopping
how the mind turns things around.
Stories are not true.
Stories are stories.
W
“There is nothing you need to do to improve what you really are. The only thing left for
all of us to do is to create a beautiful story and enjoy a better life. How do you create a
beautiful story? By being authentic. When the main character is authentic, it is easy to
write your story with integrity, with common sense, with love.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz

3. Some stories are sad.
The narwhal looks pretty sad, doesn’t she? Alone, misunderstood, at
least that’s her story. Maybe everyone loves her and gives her space
as an expression of love. But, she doesn’t want space. She wants to
feel the world around and rushing through her.

4. Trungpa Chogyam Rinpoche defines Negativity as
“the basic aggression of wanting things to be
different than they are.”
First things first…
we have to be honest when we are
wishing things were different.
Maybe we are pretending to be okay
with things but, actually, we’re not.
There is great freedom,
there is power,
in owning our negativity.
Negativity has energy that can be
channeled. (Raw!)
Repression, pretending, justifying, ex
plaining, does not. (Stale.)

5. Take this guy; people insist he’s a Weeble. He says, he’s a Rocket Boy.
If people bought and sold you for being something you’re not, you’re going to
have some Negativity. Am I right? No shame in Negativity, people. Own it!

6. Or, maybe you and your friend have been enjoying a nice jaunt and all
of a sudden your friend takes off, no explanation, and stops talking to
you. That too, that kind of sucks. Negativity. Right?

7. My Heart is Broken
Did you know that Heartbroken is
just a romantic way of expressing
the feeling of betrayal?
The feeling of being sliced open
by a sword you never saw coming
and never guarded against.
No control
Surrender
Vulnerable
Love
Trust
Waffling
between tragic and pathetic,
between profound and absurd.

8. My daughter’s concerned that I’m going to seem “clingy”
by sharing what this process was like for me.
She said, “Mom, he’s going to think you want to get back
together with him.”
I said, “I’m not trying to get him back. I’m expressing
myself, being honest, and practicing Yoga. ”
“Mom! You don’t get it. People are not like you.”
“Okay. I get that. But, nobody’s like anybody, honey.”

9. Eckhart Tolle, who’s making tons of money on ideas like this, says we have 3
choices when we encounter a Present Moment (which is all there is) that we
don’t like. It’s very simple. Just three choices: Accept, Leave, Change.

10. 1. We can AcceptWhat Is.
And if What Is is ranking pretty
high on the “This Sucks” scale,
Acceptance may feel like
depression.
That’s Weak Sauce. I hoped by
practicing Acceptance I’d feel
liberated, not depressed. Which
is crazy. I know better. I’m a
Yoga Teacher.
Anyway…
I accepted that he broke up with
me.
Ouch.

11. 2. We can LeaveWhat Is.
He chose option 2.
I accepted him leaving the intimate
relationship and how I felt about that. But, I
wasn’t willing to accept the radical amputation
of all communication. I know, I’m being
dramatic. Cut me some slack, woodja? I just
got dumped!
Is it okay to look for someone who left?
Don’t we all want to be seen?
Don’t we all want to connect?

12. 3. We can changeWhat Is
Not talking with each other about what happened
and feeling like my Voice is not valued is
unacceptable; no for option 1. I don’t want a radical
relationship amputation ; no for option 2. I cannot
control his process, but I can respect mine. Yes for
option 3: the change is reaching out to him again
and the change is this slide-story..

13. Prayer/Devotion/Meditation
I’m taking a bath for 30 Days
because I’m desperate and
that’s what desperate people
do. We work the discipline.
~thank you desperation~
~thank you discipline~

14. I really liked this apartment. Look at the
tub! The man who owns the building is
friendly and respectful with warm
energy. The location is perfect and it’s
affordable.
But, I had a boyfriend with two children
and I didn’t think there was enough
room for all of us to comfortably be
there at the same time. I said no to this
apartment and yes to... (Stupid) Love.
After looking at this place, I told my
boyfriend that sometime in the future I
would be happy to be in a family with
him. And, two days later he dumped
me.
“I am not committed to being in a family
with you.”
“Not now?”
Oh, no, he was clearer than that.
Not now. Not ever.

15. How the Fuck out of it was I?
I know, I know, we all love differently. I’m not going to explain why I was so
shocked; those details don’t add anima to the story. This story is about
Supernova EXPLOSION! This is about getting knocked down by dissonance*!
*Okay, it’s also a story about standing, about being connected and grounded.

16. Where does a remarkable resolve to disconnect come from?
Why can’t we take care of ourselves and others at the same time?
Why do we withhold suffering from one another? Why do we keep our petty
grievances, life-long fears, shame and sorrow hidden?
It’s so sad.
Almost unbearable.
We may have broken up anyway. I understand that.

17. Do people give each other beautiful necklaces
like this and then just stop loving them?
Oh, I know, I know. It’s much more complicated
than that.
All of us have elaborate stories justifying Fear.

18. How do I balance respect for other people being the
author of their story with respect for my story
when there is no agreement between the two stories?
When I am afraid, how do I come from Love, again?
If someone else is afraid, what can I do?
CONFUSION

19. It’s all story… it’s ALL story!
We (including me) think our stories are
Truth when in fact, they are just
interpretations.
She doesn’t pay attention
…
He’s missing the point…
We act like our stories are real. They are
not. They are one way of linking life
together. Wake Up, people!

20. This is Romehenge. In Rome, Maine.
My best people, Michelle and Rhoads, live here.
My boyfriend visited Rome with me 3 weeks before
dumping me. He didn’t see Romehenge. He did play Horse
with us. You know, that basketball game.
Who can resist a man who plays Horse?
You? Well then, bad news - you’re crazy.
It’s sweet. We create something that is sacred and absurd.
We construct physical testimonies of our longing for Connection and
Joy…
And, then, we get the wind knocked out of us.
Maybe I’m all fucked up? Maybe this unprotected approach to Love is
irresponsible? Maybe I had my head up my ass in la-la land?

21. FEAR,
the path to love
Am I okay?
When I can be so out of touch
with a person I love, am I okay?
If I love someone that doesn’t
love me the same way, am I
okay?
When the people I love are
scared, am I okay?
If people don’t hear the call to
Love like I hear it, am I okay?
Am I okay?
I’m scared because I care about
experiencing the Love of
Existence.

22. Appendix that is not at the
end:
Responses to hearing about
my being Dumped
•“Stunned,” said my Dad.
•“Surprised and depressed,”
said a nameless man.
•“This makes no sense!”, said
Michelle.
•“Maybe he has a terminal
illness and is protecting you
from it,” said my sister.
•“Shocked,” said my teacher.
Maybe I wasn’t so out of it.
We all welcomed him in our
hearts.

23. I look so
relaxed, here.
Chillin’. You
know how I do.
Chillin’ here.
That’s me, still.

24. What Are We Doing Here?
If we’re not here to Love each other,
then what are we here for?
I’m not saying that we need to justify or explain to one another
how our Love is uniquely expressed.
What I am saying is, Let’s be Honest.
What are we doing?
Are we trying to make sure we don’t get fucked up or over?
Are we protecting ourselves?
Or, are we in Love?
* Who’s your Daddy?*

25. Are some doors better left
closed?
Shit, man, I don’t know.
I like opening. I also like
chocolate. And, almonds.
Just admit it when you’re
closing the door. And be
honest about what you want
to keep out or in.
If you’re too scared to open
the door, own it.
Negativity has power.
Hiding does not.
If you think there’s Wisdom in
keeping it shut, share the
frickin’ insight. Don’t just slam
it. Damn.

26. What is stronger than Fear?
What am I willing to be
absolutely terrified for?
What inspires me to come out
of hiding?
Freedom. Connection.
Expansion. Joy.
LOVE.
LOVE.
LOVE.

27. See the Shadow
I invoke my ability to see
clearly, all that is there. It’s
okay to see people’s Shadows
and name them. We all have
them.
I welcome my willingness to
notice when the people I love
are becoming fatigued.
I can be responsible for my
strength and passion.
All Love.
Including love for myself… you
won’t see me wearing that
necklace anytime soon…
Not because he’s a jerk,
but because I’m not down
with Love that shuts down so
quickly.

28. How amazing is this relationship right
here?
At any moment, we can let the story go,
look around, be amazed and…
…begin again. We begin again and again and again…

29. Love is a Practice.
We are here to Love; let’s Love each other well.
Like everything,
our willingness to Love and be Loved,
expands in direct proportion to
the amount of attention we give it.
Red Cardinal Press
© 2012
Practice Love. Heal Yourself. Practice Love. Heal Others. Practice Love. Heal Yourself.