27. 51% of respondents said their
performance review was unfair or
inaccurate
25% of employees fear performance
reviews more than anything else at work
28. Millions of hours of feedback training
… about giving feedback
Push, and push harder
29.
30.
31.
32. 3 types of feedback and 2 types of
mirrors
Feedback labels and unpacking them
Feedback triggers and solutions
The whole feedback conversation
40. Why we want it
Acknowledgement, belonging
What it’s good for
To acknowledge, connect, motivate,
thank
Pitfalls
Not meeting the three criteria
• Specific
• Authentic
• In a form the receiver values & understands
46. Why we want it
Improvement, growth, and change
What it’s good for
Addressing one of two things – a need
to develop certain skills, or to fix a
problem or flaw in the relationship
Pitfalls
Can be frustrating, met with arguments
or ingratitude, and is not often rewarded
65. The Good
Grows the relationship
Calls out potential issues
Uses teaching moments
The Bad
Not always welcome
Difficult to determine appropriateness
Requires thoughtfulness
66. EXERCISE 1
Partner
Whomever you’re sitting nearest to
Goals
Try out the feedback types
Experience each side of the mirror types
Time
Build: 15 minutes
Feedback: 15 minutes
98. What will happen immediately?
What are you expected to do?
What will happen if you don’t do that?
99. EXERCISE 2
Partner
The person on the opposite side of your partner from
Exercise 1
Goals
Practice identifying and unpacking labels
Time
Build: 20 minutes
Feedback:10 minutes
DO NOT
SHARE YOUR
INSTRUCTIONS
WITH YOUR
PARTNER!
114. Factually Wrong
Different-Planet Wrong
Used To Be Right
Right According to the Wrong People
Wrong Context
Right for You, Wrong for Me
Actually Correct, but Not Right Now
Unhelpful
127. What makes sense?
What’s worth trying?
How can you give them the benefit of the
doubt about their feedback?
128.
129. EXERCISE 3
Partner
Someone you haven’t worked with yet
Goals
Experience truth triggers and solutions
Time
Build: 20 minutes
Feedback: 10 minutes
DO NOT
SHARE YOUR
INSTRUCTIONS
WITH YOUR
PARTNER!
150. They may suck at feedback …
Is their feedback still right?
They may be inexperienced…
Is their inexperience valuable here?
We may not trust them…
Assume they mean well. Is the feedback
still valid?
156. “What is each of us contributing?”
“In what ways does the feedback reflect
differences in preferences, assumptions,
styles, or implicit rules between us?”
178. IF YOU’RE THE COMMON FACTOR IN A BUNCH
OF PROBLEMS…
THEN GREAT!
179.
180.
181. EXERCISE 4
Partner
Someone you know well (if possible)
Goals
Experience relationship triggers and their
solutions
Time
Build: 22 minutes
Feedback: 8 minutes
DO NOT
SHARE YOUR
INSTRUCTIONS
WITH YOUR
PARTNER!
199. Long Sustain of
Positive
Short Sustain of
Positive
Quick Recovery from
Negative
“I love feedback!” “No big deal either
way.”
Slow Recovery from
Negative
“I’m hopeful, but
fearful.”
“I hate feedback!”
200.
201. “What do I feel?”
“What’s the story I’m telling myself?”
“What’s the actual feedback?”
209. You will make mistakes
You have complex intentions
You have contributed to the problem
210. EXERCISE 5
Partner
Whoever you worked with in Exercise 1
Goals
Experience identity triggers and their
solutions
Time
Build: 20 minutes
Feedback: 10 minutes
DO NOT
SHARE YOUR
INSTRUCTIONS
WITH YOUR
PARTNER!
234. EXERCISE 6
Partner
Anyone you haven’t worked with yet
Goals
Practice the Feedback Conversation
Time
Brainstorming: 5 minutes
Build: 15 minutes
Feedback: 10 minutes
238. 1) Know what type of feedback and mirror
you actually want
2) Get those labels unpacked
3) Be aware of your triggers and the
techniques to defuse them
4) To find solutions, focus on interests and
not positions
239.
240. 1) Is your recipient willing to accept
feedback now (or from you)?
2) Consider your positions and interests
when you open the conversation
3) Unpack labels yourself to help the
recipient
4) Use process moves to deal with conflicts
5) Give people time to deal with their
242. Thanks For The Feedback – Douglas Stone &
Sheila Heen
Mindset – Carol Dweck
Crucial Conversations – Kerry Patterson, Joseph
Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
Radical Candor – Kim Scott
Notas del editor
“Feedback-seeking behavior”
Linked to:
Higher job satisfaction
Greater creativity
Faster adaptation to new scenarios
Lower turnover
Who’s in charge of what subject or which person in which circumstances at what time?
Mobility & permeable boundaries
How much of this conflict is role, and how much is personality or performance?
Look at:
Policies
Processes
Structures/organization
Physical environment
Timing and decision making
Other players
Keep an eye out for “lag effects”
Reframe your suggestion
What’s my purpose in giving/receiving this feedback?
What’s my desired outcome?
Is it the right purpose from my point of view?
Is it the right purpose from their point of view?
Convey that you’ve heard them
Listen for what’s right
Repurpose your inner monologue
Beware “Hot Inquiry”
Figure out why you’re stuck
Describe and restate the conversation
Offer solutions and suggestions to move forward
Where do each of you stand?
What’s the action plan?
What are the consequences, if any?
When do you meet again?