2. Thesis
Vicious teen girls are on the rise and
becoming more hurtful creating more and
more targets. Everyone is affected, and there
are consequences for everyone involved. To
solve the gossiping and rumor spreading, we
could encourage girls to respect each other.
3. Personal Relevance
• I have experienced bullying like most girls have.
• I witness it every day in the cafeteria.
5. Common relational aggression
gossip
Humiliation
exclusion
Attacks on sexuality
spreading rumors
Alliance building
exposing confidential
information Claiming disloyalty or
untrustworthiness
lies and betrayal
Making threats to physically
Ignoring
harm the other or other’s
Teasing or hurtful comments possessions.
about physical appearances
Intimidation
6. Statistics
•girl bullying starts as early as preschool
•25% of students say that an adult intervenes in
bullying situations, while 71% of adults believe they
always intervene
•70% of girls have been mistreated by their friends.
7. Girls vs. boys bullying
typical view of bully:huge
football player stealing
lunch money
girl world bully: skinny,
pretty and perfect
Boys tend to be more
physical while girls are
sneaky and more
emotionally hurtful.
9. Aggressors
Also known as the “queen
bees”, the RMGs, or the alpha
girls
Typically walk into a room with
a small entourage and tell
other girls where to sit.
Seem perfect, seem like they
have a perfect life.
• "Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression." Spsk12. Web. 10 Apr. 2011.
10. The sidekick
• She is second to the Queen Aggressor, supports her.
•
•
"Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression." Spsk12. Web. 10 Apr. 2011.
Later could become a victim
11. The Victim
Most- and least liked of group
May be less likely “to go along, to
get along”
Three “Ds”
• "Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression." Spsk12. Web. 10 Apr. 2011.
12. Girls in the middle
The pivotal group
They are the girls who might alternately be victims
or aggressors, often choosing to be bullies because
they do not want to be next.
They do not know the power that they have.
13. Role of boys in
Girl-Girl Conflict
๏ Girls learn early on to value relationships with boys
over relationships with girls.
๏ classic conflict
๏ What’s wrong with this picture?
17. Cultural Expectations
Girls struggle with who they are and how our
culture would like them to be
Conflicting Messages
Be sexy... but don’t be sexual
Be beautiful... beauty is only skin deep
19. Motivation
Fear Power
Security
Control
Popularity
20. old vs. New
OLD NEW
• Techno-
‣Gossip Aggression
(cyber bullying)
‣ Dirty
Looks • E-mail
‣ Notes
• IMs
• Facebook
• Chat Rooms
21. Cyber Bullying
• Girls are twice as likely as boys to be
victims of cyber bullying.
• planned in a group
• entertainment
http://www.google.com/search?um=1&hl=en&safe=active&biw=957&bih=577&site
27. Resolution Skills
Adopt a win/win approach that respects all
parties’ needs.
Turn problems into opportunities for creative
solutions and relationship building
Use emapthy to listen, clarify, and signal
understanding
Be assertive; discuss the problem, not the person
28. Resolution skills cont.
Express emotions appropriately
Be willing to work on the issue until it is resolved.
Identify your issues and allow others to do the same
Brainstorm options; list as many as possible
Try to see the problem from other perspectives.
30. Change the RA way
of Life
1. discuss alternatives
2. reward kindness
3. Prevent rumination
4. help her establish relationship
boundaries
5. Use rituals of respect
31. Change the RA way
of Life
6.Empower girls to problem- solve
7 Help girls explore a new way of
.
relating to peers
8. Reframe hurtful behaviors
9. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
32. Helping
• If a friend becomes the
target of RA, think if
you were in her shoes.
• Don’t participate in the
gossiping!
• If someone tries to
spread a rumor, inform
them firmly it is not
true!
• Let her know you are
on her side
• Offer to go with her to
adults
51. WORKSHOP
1. 5 things you like about yourself
2. Defining relational aggression
3.Find someone who...
4.Role Playing
5. Communication and Problem solving- Trust walk
activity
6. Conclusion- discussion
63. "Classmates
would say, 'Your
dad's a one-hit
wonder. You'll
never amount to
anything - just
like him.”
“Three girls strutted up and stood towering over
me... They started cussing me and telling me to get
up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken."
-Miley Cyrus
64. Works Cited
• Dellasega, Cheryl, and Charisse Nixon. Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female
Bullying. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2003. Print.
• "Who We Are." The Ophelia Project - Leading Resource On Relational Aggression. Web. 08
May 2011. <http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/who_we_are.htm>.
• Elizabeth, Jane. "Girl bullies don't leave black eyes, just agony." 10 Apr. 2002. PDF
file. http://www.myeagles.org/CCHS/OtherPDFs/Counsel_girlbullies.pdf
• "Relational Aggression." The Society For Safe and Caring Schools and Communities. N.p.,
n.d. Web. 16 Feb. 2011. <http://sacsc.ca/
Relational%20Aggression%20tip%20sheet.pdf>.
• Chen, Grace. "Female Bullies in Public Schools: The Rising Trend and School Reactions -
Public School Review." Public School Review - Profiles of USA Public Schools. 18 Nov.
2010. Web. 21 Dec. 2010. <http://www.publicschoolreview.com/articles/59>.
65. Works Cited
• Mean Girls—101½ Creative Strategies and Activities for Working with Relational
Aggression, Kaye Randall, LISW-CP and Allyson A. Bowen, LISW-CP, Youthlight, Inc,
ISBN# 978-1-59850-022-6
• Queen Bees and Wannabes, Rosalind Wiseman, Random House,
• "Mean Girls---Realities of Relational Aggression." Spsk12. Web. 10 Apr. 2011. <http://
www.spsk12.net/departments/specialed/relational%20Aggression.htm>.
• "Famous Celebrities Who Were Bullied." Hollywood Gossip - Latest Celebrity, Movies,
Trailers, Celeb News. Web. 2 May 2011. <http://www.hollywoodgo.com/celebrity-gossip/
famous-celebrities-who-were-bullied-12386/>.
• Relational Aggression.com. Web. 16 May 2011. <http://www.relationalaggression.com/>.
• "Relational Aggression." Youth & Family Resource Center, Inc. Shawnee, Oklahoma. Web. 16 May 2011. <http://
www.hopehouseonline.org/pages/girls.shtml>.
• "Cheryl Dellasega: Relational Aggression." Web. 2 May 2011. <http://www.cheryldellasega.com/ra.php>.
66. Conclusion
Most people think that
relational aggression
is just a part of
everyone’s lives and
everyone goes through
Notas del editor
I did Mean Girls, Relational aggression and the way they they bully, and their methods. I wanted to do something with bullying, but because bullying was such a broad topic, I decided to pick one form to really study, so i chose relational aggression :)\n\n
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mention being kicked out of table in 8th grade.\n
Behavior that is intended to hurt someone by harming his or her relationships with others (Crick & Grotpeter, 1995)\n A form of aggression where the group is used as a weapon to assault others and others&#x2019; relationships.\n
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overt- done or shown openly, not secret or hidden\ncovert-not openly acknowledged or displayed\n
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RMG= really mean girl\nalways dressed nice, always want to look perfect every day at school. \nShe is not intimidated by other girls,her friends do what she wants, she wont take responsibility for hurting other&#x2019;s feelings. Believes her image is dependent on her relationships.\nShe loses her sense of self by working so hard to maintain her image\n\n
The sidekick feels the queen is the authority, allows herself to be pushed around by the queen, rarely ever expresses her own opinion, and will lie for the Queen. Her power depends on the confidence she gains from the Queen. She is always supporting her, because she could later be the victim.\n
different, dominant, disruptive\nShe feels helpless to stop the other girl&#x2019;s behaviors. Feels excluded and isolated.\nShe masks her hurt feelings by rejecting people first.\nMay be tempted to change to fit in.\n
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role of boys in girl-girl conflicts\n-girls learn early on to value relationships with boys over relationships with girls\n\nclassic conflict- girl who goes out with her best friend&#x2019;s boyfriend, either before or after the best friend and boyfriend have broken up.\n\nAsk who is to blame? and who&#x2019;s side would you take?\n
go through all the roles of each character\nRegina George= aggressor\nGretchen Weiners and Karen are the girls in the middle\nAaron is the boy instigator. \nThe victims are the rest of the school that felt victimized by Regina George. \nWhen Katie becomes the new lead, regina is being bullied. All roles switch around.\nHere is a clip of the the roles before Katie becomes involved\n
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The Media makes it seem like every girl has to be perfect, and look like models. \n
This vicious circle never ends. If someone has any power whatsoever, they feel like they have control of another person, they feel so popular, and that makes them feel a little more secure about themselves, but then they still fear that it will not last long.\n
Formspring is the WORST website ever. The fact that it is anonymous is just so stupid. I found this on one friends formspring- &#x201C;You are so obnoxious and fat, just seeing you in the hallway every day makes me want to puke!&#x201D; This actually made me cry, not like its hard for me to cry, but reading this one friend&#x2019;s formspring was so shocking to me. \n
Girls are twice as likely as boys to be victims of cyber bullying\nIt is usually done, or at least planned in a group, either virtually or together in one room.\nGirls only do this for entertainment\nThey require an audience, and if they do not get the attention they are seeking from it, then it will quickly die.\nThis is not the same for formspring. In formspring situations, it can be completely anonymous, so everyone can be extremely fake people from this.\n
Frequent acts of relational aggression can cause the victim to experience lonliness, anxiety, low self esteem, and depression. Both bullies and victims usually deal with depression, anxiety, eating disorders and poor academic performance. More severe effects include refusing to go to school or try to transfer out of the school in order to escape the bullying. \n
The damage from any kind of bullying can last a lifetime. Both victims and bullies are at risk of developing adjustment problems. This will lead to problems with relationships, depression and even suicide. \n
There are TWO rules a teacher or parent MUST know.\nNumber One- Silence is acceptance-\nif educators and other responsible adults don&#x2019;t call aggression bullying by their proper names, perpetrators live above the law and victims have no recourse. \n
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This is a great easy guide to get your feelings out to a friend that you are in a conflict with\n
This is the parent&#x2019;s guide, but could also be used for solving conflicts with your friends.\n
\n
[[\n
This is more of a teacher&#x2019;s guide, but everyone can make a difference, and help change this problem.\n1. discuss alternatives: give girl the self esteem and confidence to give her strength to defuse an aggressor, support victim, etc.\n2. Reward Kindness: maybe pencils that say &#x201C;I was caught being kind&#x201D; \n3. prevent dwelling and obsessing about it: help girls develop coping skills that do not involve others (listening to music, exercising, journal)\n4. Help her establish relationship boundaries: identify specific behaviors that are unhealthy. determine the crossing line, stick to her principles\n5. Use rituals of respect: earlier they are implemented, longer they remain\n\n\n
6. Empower girls to problem solve: give encouragment to use their own creativity in problem solving and conflict resolution\n7. Help girls explore a new way of relating to peers: Figure out who you are, and whats important to you. &#x201C;If girls can find healthy ways to explore and become comfortable with who they are, they will be free to have positive, supportive relationships with one another.&#x201D;\n8. Reframe hurtful behaviors: Some girls are naturally capable of self confident behavior, while others can learn to react confidently through preparing, proccessing and practicing. Ask what might you do differently.\n9. Repeat, Repeat, repeat.: Moms aren&#x2019;t enough. Have her hear the same words her dad, or bulletin board in the school.\n
It may be tempting to just agree with the aggressor, because you do not want to be next.\nIf someone tries to spread a rumor, inform them firmly that you know it&#x2019;s untrue, and they should not repeat it to anyone else.\nLet her know you are on her side.\nAdults may consider bullying like this only to get someone else in trouble, if it is only from the victim, but if someone is there by her side to back her up, they may listen more closely.\n
Here&#x2019;s another strategy, may be a bit easier!\n
The Ophelia project, started in Erie, PA is spreading across the country. They offer camps, workshops and many more to change the relationships between girls. One girl standing up for another makes a huge difference. They dont JUST work with young girls, they also work with ALL ages, \n
So i emailed out the link to my survey to many of my friends and students. This survey was completely anonymous, and of course, no one HAD to fill it out if they did not want to. Here are just some of the result summaries.\n
This was one of the first questions in my survey. Do you know what relational aggression is/means? 18 people said no, 69% I was shocked to see this.\n
This was one of the first questions in my survey. Do you know what relational aggression is/means? 18 people said no, 69% I was shocked to see this.\n
100 % of people said YES!\n
96 % said yes, and 1 person said Not that I am aware of.\n
92% said yes, 24 people, and only 2 people said no they have not. But I&#x2019;m not only going to include the shockingly bad answers.... \n(next slide)\n
73% said yes, 23% said no, and one person said that they had never witnessed bullying.\n
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The answer to this question, is what made me finally decide on what else I should do with my application, I was going to start a club, until I found out we already had one in our school! It is called Salvaging Sisterhood, and I went to one class, just to sit in and observe. I noticed their role playing, and how they were communicating with each other. I decided then to have a girls workshop, just like the ophelia project does, but just a much shortened version, all crammed in an hour.\n
here&#x2019;s a picture of all of us together at the end!\n
5 things you like about yourself- as they walked in, i gave them a piece of paper to write 5 thing you like about yourself because the first step to standing up to an aggressor is self confidence. Also trying to find out who your friends should be, you should figure out who you want yourself to be.\nWe defined relational aggression because a lot of people did not even know what it was, and how it was different than physical. The find someone who game was just to get to know everyone around the room, and also see that they have been through the same things you have, you are not alone.\nThe role playing was interesting. There will be a videos in the next slides. After each group acted their scene out, we had a discussion about what should have happened, and how to solve it better.\nThe communication and problem solving, we did trust walks. One person was blindfolded, and one person was the navigator, and they tried to walk around the room to find the candy. Most groups communicated well and understood each other.\nWe had a end discussion about the problems with girl bullying, cliques in our school, and about how they have handled bullying in their lives.\n\n
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situation 1- A group of friends are in a huddle talking before class starts talking about last nights soccer game. Amy comes walking up and says hey guys. They blame her for losing the soccer game for them last night. One girl says &#x201C;Maybe if you weren&#x2019;t so FAT then you could run faster and we would win the game&#x201D; another girl says &#x201C;Don&#x2019;t ever come back to our team practice again!&#x201D; \n\nsituation 2- A group of friends always sit at the same table in the cafeteria every day. One day, everyone decides to switch tables, because it would be &#x201C;funny&#x201D; to watch Victoria sit all by herself all lunch, and not know where anyone is. \n\nsituation 3- 2 best friends, Sasha and Vicki like the same boy (Gabe) and he told Sasha that he was starting to like Vicki, not knowing that Sasha liked him as well. Sasha told him that she is freakishly obsessed with him, and once saved a tissue that he used. These rumors spread all around the school. \n\nsituation 4- Clara, Rachel and Anita are in the library and started a face book group called Anti-Jane. People all over the school are joining this group and writing horrible comments about her. No one goes to a teacher or adult. \n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
queen bees and wannabees -2002\nmean girls original movie- 2004\nmean girls 2- 2009\nodd girl out book- 2003\nodd girl out movie- 2005\n\nThere are soo many more. Many TV shows include girl bullies such as Degrassi, Hannah montana, and Glee. Some other movies are \nAn American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong, Cinderella Story, Another cinderella story, Clique, and Camp Rock, plus sooo many more!\n....And here is a trailer of the Odd girl out Lifetime movie.\n
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Most people think that relational aggression is just a part of everyone&#x2019;s lives, and everyone goes through it,, which is what i thought when starting this project, but NO it can be stopped and prevented, girls just need people that will listen to them. \n
