1. Helping Children with Special Needs
Cope with Fears, Anxieties, and Worries
A guide for parents and
teachers

2. This presentation
is for adults who help children
through their hard times;
their anxiety, worries, & fears.

3. It is meant to be a
stand-alone presentation
to help parents and teachers
work with children to cope
with those feelings
that interfere with daily life.

4. The ideas for this presentation
Susan Hepburn, PhD come from years of experience
in schools and community settings
from Susan Hepburn, Judy Reaven,
Judy Reaven, PhD and Audrey Blakeley-Smith;
all Clinical Psychologists at
JFK Partners, University of Colorado.
Audrey Blakeley-Smith, PhD

5. Overviewpresentation
for this
Signs to help determine if a child’s behavior is typical
or a concern.
Strategies to help children cope with anxiety.
Selecting the best approach.
Words parents and teachers can say to help children.
Ideas for prevention of anxiety, worry, or fear.

6. How do you know
if a child’s behavior
is typical or a concern?

7. Signs of anxiety
Many children experience anxiety, worry, and fear in their
daily lives but are unable to verbalize their feelings.
Instead, you might see some of these signs.
Avoids new experiences Sleep problems
Resists change Narrow focus of interest
Irritable Difficulty concentrating
Dreads future events Withdrawn

8. Many of these signs
are typical
signs of anxiety that
most children go
through.
Experiencing anxiety,
fear, and worry
is part of growing up.

9. The problem is
when these signs
turn into excessive,
persistent, ongoing
issues…

10. When anxieties,
worries, and fears
interfere with daily
activities.

11. Anxiety is common
for children with
developmental
disabilities, especially
children with autism.

12. How
can we help?

13. Most children prefer to avoid
facing their fears, worries, or
anxieties.
When a child avoids a difficult
situation, he or she does not
have the opportunity to learn
to cope with that situation. As
a result, when facing with the
same situation in the future,
anxiety will likely
continue.

14. Understanding the
Cycle of Anxiety and
teaching the concept to
children with anxiety, will
help them understand
why it’s important to
face their fears.

15. le e
cyc ts her
r
st a
The Cycle of Anxiety
usually begins with
physical reactions
to fear, anxiety, or
worry such as
increased breathing,
racing heart, sweating,
or dizziness.
Avoidance
The cycle of

16. le e
cyc ts her
r
st a
Negative thoughts
like, “I can’t do this!”
or exaggerated
thoughts like, “That
snake is going to bite
me!” when the snake
is behind a glass
window can take over.
Anxiety
The cycle of

17. le e
cyc ts her
r
st a
Behaviors may
become explosive
suddenly, and
irritation and upset
may appear.
Anxiety
The cycle of

18. le
cyc ts her
st a
r
e Children become
distracted by the
physical reactions,
negative thoughts, &
behaviors.
As a result, there is
decreased learning
and coping and
more anxiety if
avoidance continues.
Anxiety
The cycle of

19. How we can help
Help children become aware
Awareness that when children experience
physical reactions, negative thoughts, or difficult
behaviors, it might be because they are afraid,
anxious or worried about something.
Increasing awareness helps children
understand their feelings better.

20. How we can help
Help children put a name to it
Many times, children may need to name their
fear in order to understand it.
For example…
“I get shaky and sweaty when I see snakes
because I’m afraid of them.”

21. How we can help
Teach children to breathe
slowly and deeply
• Breathe in slowly through your nose.
• Hold it.
• Exhale through your mouth.
• Feel your stomach go up and down as you
breathe.
• Repeat for at least 3 breaths.

22. How we can help
Teach children to relax their body
Shake out their arms.
Relax their shoulders.
Let go of stiffness in their body.

23. How we can help
Teach children positive
self-statements
Model positive statements like,
“I know you can do this.”
Practice positive statements they could use
in the future like,
“This is no big deal.”
“I can handle this!”
“I’ve done it before, I can do it again!”

24. How we can help
Find the teachable moments
Avoid teaching children how to cope better in
the moment of their fear, but instead wait for
a time when they are calm to reflect on how
they might handle that same situation
differently next time.

25. How we can help
Encourage brave behaviors
Provide examples of how they could cope
with their fear, anxiety, or worry next time.
Coach them through practicing their brave
behaviors.

26. How we can help
Reward brave behaviors
Give encouragement for their brave
behaviors.
Use frequent, small, yet meaningful rewards
specific to each child.

27. Brave Behaviors
What are they?
Brave behaviors are any attempt to face a fear,
worry, or anxiety.
They are different for every child and every
situation.

28. Brave Behaviors
How to encourage them
Start with easy tasks and move to more
difficult.
Encourage partial success or attempts of
brave behavior.
Brave behaviors build confidence so the more
they try brave behaviors, the more confident

29. Brave Behaviors
Example: Chris is afraid of cats.
Easy Easy task – Look at pictures of cats.
Less easy – Look at cat through window.
More difficult – Look at cat 10 feet away.
More
difficult More difficult – Look at cat 5 feet away.
Harder – Walk closely past a real cat.
Even harder – Touch a cat.
Hard
Hardest – Pet a cat.

30. Brave Behaviors
Allow children to decide when to go to next task.
Try brave behaviors daily in small steps.
Encourage children to stay in feared situation
until anxiety goes down.

31. How to Select the Best
Approach
Try strategies you think your child will best
respond to.
Ask your child what works best for him or her.
Repeat coping strategies that work best will
help children remember what to do under stress.

32. What
can parents and teachers say?

33. Words We Can Say
Ever stuck for what to say or do
when children are very upset?
Here are some ideas
that might work for you…

34. Say this …
“I know this must feel scary.”
Not that…
“You don’t need to be afraid
of that.”
Validate Feelings

35. Say this …
“It’s a little scary.”
Not that…
“It’s the scariest thing ever.”
Avoid Exaggerating

36. Say this …
“You can handle it.”
Not that…
“I’ll handle it for you.
Express confidence

37. Anxiety always goes away.
Everyone feels worried sometimes.
Missing one night of sleep
isn’t a disaster.
You’ll bounce back!
Realistic Reassurances

38. How
Can we prevent anxiety,
worry, fear?

39. Prevention
Make sure children get plenty of
exercise and sleep.
Limit caffeine.
Practice coping strategies with children.
Narrate when you or others demonstrate
coping.

40. Prevention
Post schedules to increase
predictability.
Identify heroes and how they cope with
adversity.
Identify when family members are coping.

41. Conclusion
We hope this
presentation has
helped spark ideas
you can use with the
children in your life
needing help learning
how to cope with their
anxieties, worries, and
fears.

42. In Review
Signs of Anxiety How We Can Words to Say Prevention
Examples: Help
Understand & teach Validate feelings Exercise daily
Avoidance Cycle of Avoidance
Withdrawn Avoid exaggerating Get enough sleep
Narrow focus Help kids become
Irritable aware of their Express confidence Practice coping skills
reactions to anxiety &
Cause for concern name it Provide realistic Identify when others
when signs are: assurances are coping
Persistent Teach to relax body &
Ongoing breathing Post schedule to
Interfere with daily life increase predictability
Positive statements
Encourage brave
behaviors
Determine best
approach

43. Resources
Keys to Parenting Your Anxious Child (2nd Edition)
Katharina Manassis, MD, FRCP
Helpful websites:
www.jfkpartners.org
www.telecopes.org
www.childanxiety.org
www.myanxiouschild.com
Coming soon:
Facing Your Fears Group Therapy for Managing Anxiety in Children
with High-Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders (Brookes Publishing)
Judy Reaven, PhD, Audrey Blakeley-Smith, PhD, Shana Nichols, PhD, and
Susan Hepburn, PhD

44. Photo Attribution
Photographs used in this presentation are
from:
Microsoft Office
and
Fotolia

45. Appreciation
Content Experts:
Susan Hepburn, PhD, Judy Reaven, PhD, Audrey Blakeley-Smith, PhD, all Clinical
Psychologists and Kristen Kaiser, Parent Liaison, JFK Partners, University of Colorado
School of Medicine.
Grant funding supporting this work:
TeleCopes: Telehealth for Families of Children on the Autism Spectrum with
Anxiety, Health Services Resource Administration, Award #1R40MC15593, Sept 2009 - Aug
2011.
Training Clinicians to Deliver Cognitive Behavior Therapy to Children with
High-Functioning ASD and Anxiety Grant, National Institute of Health, Award
#1R21MH089291-01, Oct 2009 – Sept 2013.
Produced by:
Dina Johnson, Training Coordinator
JFK Partners, University of Colorado School of Medicine
Feb/Mar 2011