2. 3. Attend to nonverbals. Most of what people may be worrying about or reluctant to discuss will leak out
through their nonverbal communications. It is your job to notice what their nonverbal behavior is
expressing and inquire: E.g. “I sense that you may have some frustration about how this project is going.
Could you tell me a little more about that?”
4. Measure feedback. Offer feedback and advice in appropriate doses. Is it timely and relevant? How
would attention to this issue help at this time? Is it something that the person is in a position to act upon?
Will it require time to process and discuss? Are you prepared for defensive reactions and ready to provide
examples that exemplify issues or needs for change?
5. Find reason for encouragement. Recognizing obvious progress that draws on established strengths is
fine, but noticing efforts at change, learning, and growth are even more powerful. Problems and issues
represent opportunities for development. Notice and credit the person’s readiness to own issues,
acknowledge vulnerabilities, and address challenges.
6. Wrap up. Ask the person to summarize the key points from this discussion. Listen for alignment,
emphasis, and readiness to act. Notice and resolve any needs to correct misunderstandings, clarify
intentions, or to re-frame the significance of issues. Ask about any resource needs and critical
interdependencies.
Overall Meeting Dynamics
As with any meeting there is a beginning, a middle, and an end to a coaching session. Recognizing where
you are in the process and managing your time and joint priorities is an important part of your role as
coach. This will become more intuitive over time.
In the beginning, be alert to anxiety-based humor and diversions and don't let them hi-jack the joining
process. Model a quiet ease and let such behaviors pass. This will help relax the coachee as well, and soon
you will settle into the flow of the meeting.
Recognize in the middle period what is most important to discuss. As you hear the coachee discuss a goal,
strategy or issue, ask yourself what seems most challenging to him/her. Check it out and ask the person
what he/she would like to do about it. Be facilitative, ask questions that focus reflection and problem
solving, but if he/she is stuck don't hesitate to offer a point of view or advice.
Make sure that you allow time to close the meeting. Should the suggested wrap-up described above
surface a matter for discussion, you want to have a few minutes to address it. However, if the discussion
has been productive, and if you sense that your coachee has gotten what he/she needs from the middle
part, you need not try to fill the time. That can actually dilute the impact of what you have achieved.
If you have specific questions about how to apply the ideas presented here, please contact the author
at bill.macaux@generativityllc.com.
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