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Performance Evaluation Quotes
1.
These individual quotes
were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
2.
"Since my last
report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
3.
"His men would
follow him anywhere, ....... but only out of morbid curiosity."
4.
"I would not
allow this employee to breed."
5.
"This employee is
really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
6.
"Works well when
under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
7.
"When she opens
her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
8.
“ He would
be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
9.
"This young lady
has delusions of adequacy."
10.
"He sets low
personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
11.
"This employee is
depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
12.
"This employee should
go far, ..... and the sooner he starts, the better."
13.
"Got a full
6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
14.
“ A gross
ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
15.
“ He certainly
takes a long time to make his pointless."
16.
“ He doesn't
have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
17.
"I would like
to go hunting with him sometime."
18.
“ He's been
working with glue too much."
19.
"He would argue
with a signpost."
20.
"He has a
knack for making strangers immediately."
21.
“ He brings
a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
22.
"When his IQ
reaches 50, he should sell."
23.
"If you see
two people talking and one looks bored, ..... he's the other one."
24.
"A photographic memory
but with the lens cover glued on."
25.
“ A prime
candidate for natural deselection."
26.
“ Donated his
brain to science before he was done using it."
27.
"Gates are down,
the lights are flashing, but the train isn‘t coming."
28.
"Has two brains:
one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
29.
“ If he
were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
30.
“ If you
give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
31.
"If you stand
close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
32.
"It's hard to
believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."
33.
"One neuron short
of a synapse."
34.
“ Some drink
from the fountain of knowledge;..... he only gargled."
35.
“ Takes him
2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
36.
"The wheel is
turning, but the hamster is dead."
37.
The End
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