1. LOSTiempos Han Cambiado
A sketch
By
Marvin Rodriguez Perusquia
Edited
By
English 7 crew
March 2012
8ª Jornada Estudiantil de Lengua y Cultura
Universidad de Quintana Roo
2. Cast
Characters:
Tweedledee……………………………………………Jacobs
Tweedledum…………………………………………...Papitas
Father Rainbow……………………………………….Black guy
Mother Lustine………………………………………..Chinese girl
Nacasia………………………………………………... D
Nacaranda……………………………………………..Nancy
Jack…………………………………………………….Freddy
Bad girl…………………………………………………Jo Joana
Sexy Teacher…………………………………………..Ame
Nurse…………………………………………………...Leo
Hippie…………………………………………………..Yasser
Best seller 1……………………………………………Gaby Rizos
Best seller 2……………………………………………Pao
Rambolin………………………………………………Lester
Pilot……………………………………………………God
Arabian guy…………………………………………...Yussif
Darks girl………………………………………………Rass
Cannibal……………………………………………….Serch
Dj……………………………………………………….Vero
The story of a random group of strangers on an island full of
mystery….
The story starts like this
3. Arabian Alkaeda Guy: (Opening his suit) In the name of Alá and Osama, We're going to die
without any kind of drama!
(All people are surprised)
Darks girl: Yeahhhh!! I'm going to die!! Cuz I am so Darks!
Bad girl: (Talking to the Darks) Shut up!
Tweedledee and Tweedledum: What? Are you kidding me?
Arabian Alkaeda Guy: Of course not!
Bad girl: As you notice we are in 2012, so, why don't you wait for the end of the world?
Arabian Alkaeda Guy: It's Alá's behest...
Bad girl: Listen dude, I don't care who the hell sent you to this plane but I'm not going to die
here, OK? So, who's with me?
All: We are!
Bad girl: for SPARTAAA!
(Everybody start to kick the Arabian guy's ass)
Arabian Alkaeda Guy: You will provoke Ala's wrath
(The pilot appears suddenly)
Pilot: Shut up!
Tweedledee and Tweedledum: who are you?
Pilot: (With a superhero's tone of voice) I'm the pilot and I came here just to help you with
this bad guy
Sexy Teacher: (Desperate) If you are here, who's flying the plane?
(The pilot opens his eyes)
(Everybody scream)
The plane scene…
4. The entire group appears in the strange island
Tweedledee & Tweedledum are lying on the sand
Tweedledee: (Screaming) ahhhh! I can't feel my right side!! I can't feel it... Jesus Christ, I
can't move my right side! Help me please! (Almost crying)
Tweedledum: (Waking up) Shut up idiot!! I'm your right side, remember? We are pasted!
Tweedledee: Oops!
They stay on that place fighting each other
Nacasia and Nacaranda appear
Nacasia: Oh my God! Oh my God! This is one of my dreams, mamasita
Nacaranda: (Unhappy face) Really?
Nacasia: Yes, we have our dreamed holidays in a deserted island, like the “Blue Lagoon” or
(doing a pause) “The Beach” (seeing her friend from head to toe) movies. We just need some
naked men and that's it!
Nacaranda: dreamed? This is a nightmare, comadre!
Nacasia: Why? We are going to be free and we will meet some new guys, just to have some
fun with them
Nacaranda: (Doing pucheros) I want to go home,manita!
Nacasia: Stop! I'm not going to spend my time fighting with you, we have to find my Leo
DiCaprio.
Jack wakes up
Jack: ahhhhh! Ahhhh! (moving from side to side)
5. Nacasia: (looking at him and after that to the sky) That's what I'm talking about!
Jack: Ahhhhh! My head, my head
Nacasia: What happens with your head angel of mine?
Jack: My head is going to explode!
Nacaranda: (SCREAMING!) AHHHHHHH!
Nacasia: (slapping her head) What's the matter with you?
Nacaranda: (Nervously) He said his head is going to explode so I realized that he has a
bomb inside of it.
Nacasia: My God! (with sarcasm and touching her head) You are such an intelligent person...
Jack: where are we? Is this Heaven?
Nacasia: It will be only if you want, guapo! Hurry up extraterrestrial! Bring that chair to sit
my future husband and let's give him a massage. Imagine my name Nacasia Dicaprio!
Jack: But I just want...
Nacasia: ME, I know I'm irresistible! So be quiet and enjoy your massage
Nacaranda: Aha! Dreamed vacations! Giving a feet massage!...
They stay on that place
The father and the nun wake up
Mother Lustine: (With sarcasm) Ok, this is AMAZING. Thank you father for showing me
that God exists!
Father Rainbow: Daughter I really appreciate the positive way in which you see our
situation
Mother Lustine: Did you notice my sarcasm? I told you since the very beginning that I hate
traveling abroad, but you and the Mother Superior Caridad Macola insisted me many times
and look, LOOK where I am right now! (Crying)
Father Rainbow: Daughter of mine stop crying God is going to help us
6. Mother Lustine: I'm crying because I have sand in my eyes little father (grabbing him from
his neck) Now you have to find a way to return my beautiful body to my country, ok?!.
Father Rainbow: We should pray and God will send us a savior.
Mother Lustine: Would you stop leaving all to your God, please?
Father Rainbow: But…
Mother Lustine: but Nothing. Now move your Christianity and do something else!
Bad girl, the darks girl, the hippie, the nurse and the sexy teacher wake up
Sexy teacher: I have migraine! I need a pill right now girl!
Nurse: I have some pills here (Taking a pack of pills from her chest)
Sexy teacher: Thank you but I don't need Next Day's pills!
Nurse: hahaha, You don't need it because your time of fertility and grace is over
Sexy teacher: Ahhh! How rude! Talk to the hand!
Nurse: It's just the truth!
Bad girl: My gosh! My back hurts...
Hippie: I have something for your pain
Bad girl: Thank you, but I can resist my pain
Sexy teacher: So do I
Hippie: Let's fly together to a wonderful world over the rainbow…
Father Rainbow: Over me? Do you know something about me?
Hippie: Not you!! the other rainbow, the colorful one! Well, who wants to fly with me?
Tweedledee and tweedledum: We want to fly!....And the teacher too!
7. Sexy teacher: Fly again? No thanks! We should find a way to escape from this place, I hate
the sand in my shoes and all my garment! Assshhhh!
Bad girl: Lady, could you please move the girl?
Sexy teacher: yes, girl... hello there, girl! Girl!! giiirllll! She is dead (desperately) she is
deaddddd!!!!
Bad girl: What? Let me see! (Looking at the teacher) Get the hell out from here!
Sexy teacher: be polite please, I'm a LADY…
Bad girl: Yes, and I'm Mother Teresa!
Sexy teacher: Ok, boyish girl!
Bad girl: ¬¬ I'm going to kill you but after waking up this thing... Wake up, wake uppp!!
(screaming) WAKE UP...! well, she is dead!
Darks girl: (with eyes closed) Who's dead?
Mother Lustine: (with sarcasm) GREAT! The dead girl is talking! After that the zombies
appear!
Tweedledee and Twedledum: Hell yeah lml!
Father Rainbow: Satan! Satan possessed the virginal dead body of the poor darks girl
Tweedledee and Twedledum: No way! COOL!
Nacaranda: Hay, manita! they said the chamuco is in her body! (Shaking her hands)
Nacasia: Don't worry my Jack Dawson Dicaprio would save us!
Jack: Who's him?
Nacaranda & Nacasia: You!
Nurse: Please father, do an exorcism to the girl...
Tweedledee and Twedledum: Awesome!
Father Rainbow: But I don't know how to fight against Satan!
Best Seller 1: If you don't know how to deal with your demons, you should buy this guide
(seller 2 enters with a sexy way of walking and posses)
8. Best Seller 2: The guide's title is “10 tips about how to deal with Darks girls possessed by
Satan in all of his presentations” please call to this number 666 - “my daughter is not ok” and
someone will help you!
Mother Lustine: Give me one, because I'm braver than this thing called father! I will fight
against you, Satan!
Darks girl: Satan? Who's him?... you're wrong, I'm alive but I have my eyes closed because
I'm so darks that I hate seeing the sunlight so I keep my eyes in this way!
Bad girl: (slapping her) Interesting joke!
Darks girl: Hit me because pain increases my happiness! cuz I am so Darks! So Darks, you
know, Darks….
The Al Qaeda guy, the pilot and the cannibal appear
Pilot: Passengers, we have an idea of how to escape from this island
Nacasia: Let me see Papasito Chulo! What are you doing with this thing?
Arabian Alkaeda Guy: I'm not a thing, not yet a...
Everybody: SHUT UP!
Pilot: I found him and we were talking about making something to escape
Jack: I'm not going to let this guy to tell us what to do, Are you with me?
Everybody: Yeah!
Sexy teacher: Yes /ies/
Darks girl: If you don't remember this guy tried to kill us and I hate that he didn't do it…and
that’s so not Darks…Do you know what a darks is?
Pilot: Father, God taught us how to forgive our brothers...
Mother Lustine: Yes, but not the ones that try to kill you....
Cannibal: Uga uga raga raga uga uga raga raga
Tweedledee and Twedledum: HELP!!! (running)
Bad girl: Who are you?
9. Sexy Teacher: My God, he speaks worse than a Student of English 7th!
Nacaranda: Mami, maybe the Arabian guy can speak with him
Jack: Be careful he has a stick!
Arabian: Krishna trehshorum cororum alemorum explotorum de avionorum
(Dialog between the terrorist and the cannibal explaining about the plane crash)
Then the cannibal hits him with the stick and is waiting for more
Sexy Teacher: (pushing the pilot's back) Go and defend your passengers!
The cannibal hit him too and took both with them
Sexy teacher: We should take advantage of this time and create a boat so we can escape
Best seller 1: If you want to escape from a deserted island you should buy this book
Best seller 2: It's title is “How to try to escape from a deserted island without killing your
peers” please call to this line 567 “A cannibal ate my friends” and someone would help you
They make a boat and the ones that are inside are the father, mother Lustine, Nacasia,
Nacaranda, Jack, the sellers, the hippie and the nurse
Tweedledee and Twedledum: Are you going to come back?
Father Rainbow: Yes, we're going to look for help
Nacasia: bye!
The cannibal appears inside the boat and kidnaps it (everybody scream)
Tweedledee and Twedledum: Now, who is going to help us?
Rambolin Colored: (After doing his aerobic movements) Meee! Rambolin the Colored, you
didn't count with my artfulness!
10. Bad Girl: hahahha Are you kidding me? How can you help us? Are you going to hit the
Cannibal's face with your muscles?
Rambolin Colored: No, I'm going to hit him with my hands
Darks Girl: You can hit me if you want…cuz I am so Darks and Darks love pain…dark
pain…
Sexy teacher: what?
Darks: Don't think badly. If he hits me, my eyes will be black, so that increases my darks
look!
Sexy teacher: ¬¬°
Bad Girl: As soon as the cannibal arrives you kill him, ok?
Rambolin Colored: Ok
Cannibal: uga uga raga raga uga uga raga raga
Rambolin Colored: Time to sleep little thing
Cannibal: Ok! (He hits Rambolin’s face)
(Cannibal took Rambolin with him)
Sexy teacher: The cannibal took Rambolin and...
Tweedledee and Twedledum: now we are going to die!!!
Bad girl: Shut up! We will find a way!
Dark girl: It is dark now…
Sexy teacher: where's the dark girl?
Tweedledee and Twedledum: She is hidden!
Bad girl: OK we're dying one by one and that stupid girl is hidden!
Darks: Mmmmm. It's just because I'm darks and when I play hide and seek I use to be in the
darkness
11. They begin to hear laughs and some noises (music)
Tweedledee and Twedledum: What's that?
Darks: Maybe we're dead like “LOST”…because LOST is so darks…and I…didn’t get it…
Bad girl: It sounds like music
Darks: the harps and angels singing?
Sexy teacher: I know I don't have to say this but we should go and see what that is the bad
girl observes behind the palms
Bad girl: OMG!
Sexy Teacher: what?
Bad girl: Ohhhh myyy GOD! (with a big smile)
Tweedledee and Twedledum: what???
Bad girl: They are dancing conga!!
Everybody: What?
Bad girl: hahah that cannibal just wanted some company and they are having some fun, let's
go and dance!!
Tweedledee and Twedledum: Yeahh!
Cannibal: Me…want… say something!
Mother Lustine: That thing can speak!!
Cannibal: yes!
Sexy teacher: what do you want to say?
Cannibal: Everyday I'm suffling!
And the choir starts with balloons and a blast!
Rafa: When in Rome, do what Romans do!
