This document provides information and advice for a spouse who is considering leaving or separating from their partner. It discusses several important issues to consider before leaving, such as finances, parenting plans, documenting assets and debts, and assembling a team of professionals like lawyers, therapists, and coaches. The document emphasizes thoroughly researching and documenting all financial matters to prepare for a potential divorce proceeding. It also provides tips for educating oneself on the divorce process and alternatives to litigation.

1. Know Before You Go
The Marriage is Over
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

2. Know Before You Go
 This Seminar will help a 'leaving spouse'
to understand the many issues:
 Legal, financial, and emotional – that arise
from the decision to move out.
 Considering these issues will help leaving
spouses make the best decisions possible
for all concerned.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

3. Know Before You Go
 Don’t leave unless absolutely necessary.
 Figure out the finances.
 Prepare for parenting apart.
 Itemize the assets and the debts.
 Gather resources.
 Assemble the team.
 Educate yourself.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

4. Know Before You Go
 Lawyers Says Don’t leave unless absolutely necessary.
 Problems:
 Staying, Can be the root of higher conflict
 Leaving, May create a power imbalance
 Solutions:
 Control your emotions , get help
 Have patience, A separation may take years (with or without
lawyers)
 Your ex maybe in denial
 Talk in terms of your new life with your spouse
 Personal decision
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

5. Know Before You Go
 Figure out the finances.
 Develop a living apart personal budget
 Can you afford to move out now ?
 Establish Your own Banking, Accounts, Credit
Cards.
 No Credit ? Apply to:
 Home Trust Visa
 Peoples MasterCard
 CapitalOne MasterCard
 Use online banking
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

6. Know Before You Go
 Prepare for parenting apart.
 Develop a Parenting Plan
 More then just a visitation schedule
 Deal with the fears of ex-spouse about the
children

Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

7. Know Before You Go
 Itemize the assets and the debts.
 Use asset tracking approach
 Get Documentation.
 Document, Document, Document
 In Court if you cannot prove it you lose it
 Litigated Divorces are won and lost on
Documentation.
 Following this will save your tens of thousands in
legal costs.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

8. Document, Document, Document
 MAIL: Review all mail coming into your
house and make a list of the sender and
return address. It is very important to know
the address of stockbrokers, insurance
companies, credit issuers, banks, and
revenue properties, COPY THESE
DOCUMENTS.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

9. Document, Document, Document
 PERSONAL MATTERS: Have your
mail sent to an address other than the
Matrimonial Home for your privacy and to
ensure that you receive it. For example, a
post office box or home of a close friend or
relative. File a change of address notice
with the post office.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

10. Document, Document, Document
 FAMILY FINANCES: Review all
monthly bank statements and brokerage
statements, credit card statements,
property assessments, and COPY THESE
DOCUMENTS. Give copies of necessary
documents in safekeeping outside the
home
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

11. Document, Document, Document
 TAX RETURN: Review all tax returns
that have been filed by you and your
spouse. Demand an explanation as to any
item, which may be questionable before
signing. Make complete copies of tax
returns for the last several years.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

12. Document, Document, Document
 TAXES OWED: Be certain that all taxes
owed to the Federal Government or other
taxing agencies are paid to date. IF NOT
COPY NOTICES OF ASSESSMENT.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

13. Document, Document, Document
 SAFE DEPOSIT BOX: Inventory and
review the contents of any safe deposit
box. List the contents including cash and
jewelry. Be sure that all safe deposit
boxes are in joint names. TAKE
PHOTOGRAPHS AND COPIES OF THE
CONTENTS.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

14. Document, Document, Document
 BUSINESS INTERESTS: Be familiar
with your spouse’s business interests.
Become involved and be aware of
financial information regarding the
business by getting full information on the
business, including bank documents, loan
applications, corporate tax returns and
financial statements.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

15. Document, Document, Document
 MATRIMONIAL ASSETS: Do not
transfer, sign, or make a gift of marital
assets in joint names. Credit cards in joint
names may discourage large personal
purchases by one party. Conversely, you
may wish to cancel credit cards to prevent
large purchases by your spouse without
your permission.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

16. Document, Document, Document
 PENSION PLANS: Obtain copies of
your pension plan and your spouse’s also
with any yearly statements and determine
when they vest and benefits become
payable, ask for the plan booklets and
latest contribution statements.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

17. Document, Document, Document
 WILLS AND TRUSTS: Obtain copies of
any wills or trust agreements and be
involved in any estate planning.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

18. Document, Document, Document
 LOANS: Review and make copies of all
loan documents, mortgage applications,
and financial statements.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

19. Document, Document, Document
 SIGNATURE: Do not sign any financial
statements if blank. Know what you are
signing and always keep a copy.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

20. Planning
 MEDICAL: Have a complete medial and
dental check up. Be sure that you have
medical and dental insurance (if available)
in the event of separation.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

21. Document, Document, Document
 CANADA PENSION PLAN: Obtain
Canada Pension Plan statements.
 Available at Service Canada – online or in
office
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

22. Gather Resources Planning
 SAVINGS AND PERSONAL
FINANCES: Separation generally
causes immediate economic hardship. Put
away cash or keep money in traveler’s
checks in order to be able to purchase
personal necessities in the event of a
separation.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

23. Gather Resources
 AUTOMOBILE: Be sure that your
automobile is in good working condition
and that it is titled jointly or in your sole
name.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

24. Document, Document, Document
 INSURANCE: Review and make copies
of all insurance policies relating to the
matrimonial residence furnishings, or other
assets. This should include any jewelry,
silverware, or other valuable. Make copies
of any appraisal that have been prepared.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

25. Gather resources
 INDEBTEDNESS: Do not create any
additional debts and make no large
purchases such as a new boat or car.
Keep your assets as liquid as possible
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

26. Document, Document, Document
 LIABILITY: Prepare a complete list of all
debts or obligations including credit cards,
notes, mortgages, etc. Identify each debts,
when it was incurred and the reason for
the debt. Identify who has been making
payments on them, as well as the monthly
or annual amounts.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

27. Document, Document, Document
 ASSETS: Prepare a complete list of all assets
in your name and your spouse’s. Include
whether the assets are held individually or jointly
and the source of the assets, whether inherited,
gifted, or in the name of a third party on your
behalf. It is important to determine whether the
assets were acquired prior to or during the
marriage. Make copies of any documents which
show the details and values of all assets and
debts
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

28. Document, Document, Document
 INHERITANCES: Keep all inheritances
separate from the marital estate. Do not
put an inheritance into joint names and do
not use proceeds to pay for family
expenses or purchases or to pay down
debts.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

29. Document, Document, Document
 EMPLOYMENT: Do not quit work if you
are employed. It is important to secure
your future financial independence and
earn enough to maintain assets such as
your home and car.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

30. Document, Document, Document
 RESIDENCE: DO NOT MOVE OUT of
the family residence without first
discussing it with your lawyer.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

31. Good for Happy Marriage
 Actually, these are good
recommendations for EVERYBODY, even
in the happiest marriage. Don’t wait for
divorce to be involved in your own life
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

32. Assemble the team.
 DIVORCE FINANCIAL PROFESSIONAL:
 A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ helps clients
determine the short term and long-term financial impact
of any proposed divorce settlement. Pre–divorce, they
can provide you with a thorough knowledge and
understanding of the implications of the decisions you
will make with respect to your assets and liabilities. They
also provide valuable information on all financial issues
that are related to the divorce, such as tax
consequences. A Divorce Finance specialist will help to
empower you to make educated financial decisions
during divorce negotiations.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

33. Assemble the team
 LAWYERS:
 Family lawyers represent the interests of ONE
party in the case of a divorce. A family lawyer
informs clients of their legal rights and of the
laws of divorce. They handle the termination of
their client's marriage through negotiation with
another lawyer or often through litigation and
produce a legal agreement with respect to
matrimonial property and support.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

34. Assemble the team
 MEDIATORS:
 Mediation is a conflict-resolution process in
which an impartial third party (the mediator)
helps the participants in negotiating a
consensual, informed and fair agreement.
Decision–making rests with the parties
throughout. The mediator assists the parties in
identifying issues and information needs,
reducing obstacles to communication, exploring
alternatives and focusing on the needs and
interests of those who it is agreed are affected.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

35. Assemble the team
 THERAPIST:
 A psychologist studies how we think, feel and
behave from a scientific viewpoint and applies
this knowledge to help people understand,
explain and change their behavior. They know
how to help people deal with their feelings and
attitudes and develop healthier and more
effective patterns of behavior. They support
people in their emotional divorce and help
people towards divorce recovery.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

36. Assemble the team
 Divorce Coach
 Divorce Coaching is a powerful partnership which
focuses on the client taking action toward the recovery
and moving on after a divorce. Divorce Coaches are in
demand by anyone who has had a divorce whether they
are just thinking about divorce or have been divorced for
months, years or decades. Divorced people are using
coaches to help them through the mourning and
recovery process, to bring out their best, help them
create the rest of their lives for themselves and their
families.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

37. Assemble the team
 Parenting Coach
 A Parenting Coach provides individual guidance
and assistance to a parent who wishes to more
positively contribute to the Parenting Partnership
and/or more effectively manage their response
to negative parenting behaviors. Assistance may
focus on: improving communication, making
successful transitions, creating reasonable
boundaries, addressing a sensitive topic and
managing the impact of a new spouse.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

38. Educate yourself
 Visit the Family Law Resource Centre
 Join a support group; DivorceCare
 Read Books
 Read Divorce Parenting Studies
 Educate yourself to alternatives to the
Litigated Divorce
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

39. Lawyer Advice
 Consultation vs Retainer
 Legal Shield Services
 Family Law Resource Centre (Court House)
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

40. Selecting a Lawyer - 4 Tips
 Just as there is no “one size fits all” process
choice for divorce (collaboration, mediation,
litigation), there is definitely no “one size fits all”
lawyer for your divorce. The lawyer you choose
will depend on the process you hope to use, so
that’s the decision you need to make first.
 Once you have done your homework and have a
picture of what is best for you and your family in
terms of process, here are the Four Tips to
consider when deciding on the best lawyer for
you:
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

41. Selecting a Lawyer - 4 Tips
 1. Fees. Lawyer’s fees aren’t cheap, but the
hourly rate should not be the determining factor
either. And a word to the wise here — a higher
priced lawyer does not necessarily insure better
results for you. Most lawyers fees range from
$100 an hour to as much as $1,000 a hour,
depending on where you live. Do some
investigation in your area and determine the
typical hourly rate for divorce lawyers.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

42. Selecting a Lawyer - 4 Tips
 2. Experience. For the best and most efficient results,
find a lawyer who specializes in family law, or who at
least spends the majority of his or her practice in this
area. This is important because an experienced divorce
lawyer will know the tendencies of the various judges
and other divorce lawyers in your area.
 You also want someone who has a good working
relationship with the judges and other lawyers. A lawyer
with expertise in family law will be able to offer you clear
explanations of your process choices and be able to
answer your burning questions in a way that will make
sense to you.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

43. Selecting a Lawyer - 4 Tips
 3. Referrals. This is probably the most
common way clients come to me, as referrals
from other clients or other professionals in the
area. If you don’t know who to go to (the phone
book will probably confuse you even more!), ask
a friend, a co-worker, a therapist, a minister,
priest, rabbi, or a financial advisor for a
recommendation.
 Hearing what others have to say will help you
decide who you would like to see for a
consultation.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

44. Selecting a Lawyer - 4 Tips
 4. Good Fit and Accessibility Factor. Finally, and
perhaps most important, is that you have a good
connection with the lawyer you choose. You won’t know
this until you actually have a consultation with that
lawyer and have the opportunity to ask your questions
and see how you feel about the responses.
 You should know after your consultation whether you
feel like you and this lawyer will work well together. If you
aren’t sure, keep looking. Whatever you do, don’t think
about hiring a lawyer just because of their reputation.
Always have a consultation and make sure it’s the right
fit for you.
 Be proactive for your own case.
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

45. What Will Divorce Cost
 Kitchen Table – DIY $500
 60 days
 Mediated - $1000 to $5000
 120 days
 Collaborative Lawyer - $7500 to $15,000
 4 to 8 months
 Arbitration - $40,000
 12 months
 Litigated - $ 25,000 to $100,000
 2-4 years
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389

46. Keeping it out of Court
 Control your Emotions
 Patience
 Persistence
 Counselling
 Time
 Do Not React
 Show Love and Understanding
Ken S. Maynard (877) 932-8389