Transactions and relationships - Eric Vanderburg - Remington College, 2005

1. Transactions and
Relationships
Eric Vanderburg
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

2. Transaction Analysis
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Transaction Analysis - The unconscious
tactics used in communication
Transaction - a verbal exchange between
people
Unconscious mind - place where forgotten
memories, feelings, & ideas are stored.
Stimulus Response - Stimuli results in
automatic responses based on remembered
experiences
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

3. Ego States
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Child
Parent
Adult
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

4. Child Ego State
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Learned through experience
Natural Child - imaginative, friendly,
open, innocent, & appreciative
Adapted Child - realizes that you
don’t always get what you want
(realist)
“Little Professor” - intuitive, creative,
& manipulative
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

5. Parent Ego State
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Learned by observation & experience
Prompts automatic responses without
consulting the adult state “because I said
so”
Behaviors & sayings learned from the parent
are passed down again when taking on this
role
Critical Parent - points out mistakes or
misbehavior
Sympathetic Parent - nurturing, supporting,
caring person
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

6. Adult Ego State
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Learned by observation & experience
Rational, careful thinking without
emotions & assumptions.
Factual analysis
Self control
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

7. Transaction Types
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Complementary
Crossed
Ulterior
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

8. Complimentary Transactions
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An expected response is received
Promotes successful communication
A-A, P-C,
Message is tailored for an ego type &
is successful if tailored correctly
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

9. Crossed Transactions
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An unexpected response is received
Disrupts communication, must restart
Message is tailored for a certain ego
type & actual ego type differs
Respond in kind to move to
complimentary
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

10. Ulterior Transactions
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Transaction takes place at two levels
simultaneously
Hidden meanings
3rd Move Transaction - correcting
move to change to complimentary
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

11. Changing State
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Adult Ego State
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Ask a question
Make a factual unemotional statement
Ask for opinions
Sympathetic Parent State
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Ask for help
Voice fears
Request advice
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

12. Changing State
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Natural Child
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Joke & have fun
Be sympathetic parent
Be enthusiastic and excited
Be creative
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

13. Ego States
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No state is best
Adult state usually works best at a job
Balance in everything
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

14. Scripts
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Conversation lines originating from the
media, friends, & parents
Cultural scripts
Family scripts
Religious scripts
Gender scripts
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

15. Script Categories
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Commands - verbal or nonverbal
negative instructions
Countercommands - commands that
contradict each other
Permission
Mythical Hero - media, stories
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

16. Life Position
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Your conclusion about yourself and others
I’m not OK, You’re OK, feel inferior
I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK, too many
punishments can lead to this. General
negative view of life
I’m OK, You’re Not OK, may arise out of
abuse. Dominating, always right persona
I’m OK, You’re OK, happy, usually
consciously chosen
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

17. Stroking
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Stroking - recognizing the
accomplishments of others
Must be in balance
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Too little = depression
Too much = feel manipulated or bothered
Needed strokes dependent on past
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

18. Games
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Series of ulterior transactions with a
predictable outcome.
There is one ulterior transaction per
game
One person gets something out of it
Wastes time and hurts relationships
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

19. Game Types
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Blemish - finds faults in others to boost
own ego
Wooden Leg - excuses are used to
diminish or redirect blame
Harried - States or acts too busy to
avoid social situations
Now I’ve Got You - traps another
person in a mistake or lie
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

20. Stopping Games
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Build your self esteem
Stay in the adult ego state
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Ask “how” instead of “why” questions
Bring the other person to adult ego
Focus on the positives (games focus
on the negatives)
Look at positive points in others and
use stroking
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005

21. Assertiveness
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Standing up for yourself or others
without damaging another
Not passive or aggressive
Know the ego state of others
Human Relations – Eric Vanderburg ©2005