Soft Skills: Good Listening

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Framework Primer
Soft Skills: Good
Listening
Presentation created by
The
Opinionator
The
Grouch
The
Pretender
The
Preambler
The
Answer Man
The
Perservator

2
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Contents
 Overview
 Behaviors of Good Listeners
 Qualities of Good Listeners
 Bad Listeners
 Templates
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This deck deliberates on the critical qualities and behaviors essential
to becoming a good listener
Presentation Overview
Good listening is a very important skill that needs to be learned and developed.
Good listening is a very important skill that needs to be learned and developed.
Many people view Listening Skills of lesser consequence than articulation and focus on learning
how they can present their own views more effectively.
Listening is unquestionably the most efficient route to making informed judgements. Good
listening can eventually mean the difference between a longer career (or relationship) and a
shorter one.
This presentation discusses the 3 behaviors critical for a person to become a good listener:
The presentation also talks about the 13 qualities of a good listener based on these 3 underlying
behaviors and the 6 types of bad listeners.
The slide deck also includes some slide templates for you to use in your own business
presentations.
1 Demonstrate Respect
2 Remain Quiet
3 Challenge Assumptions

4
Good Listening is the basis for good judgements, lasting relationships,
and careers
Importance of Good Listening
Active listening is at the forefront of good Decision Making.
Active listening is at the forefront of good Decision Making.
Many people view listening skills of lesser consequence than articulation and focus on learning how they can present
their own views more effectively.
Listening is unquestionably the most efficient route to making
informed judgments. Good listening can eventually mean the
difference between a longer career (or relationship) and a shorter one.
Good listening—the keen and orderly pursuit of probing and
challenging the information collected from others to enhance its
quality and quantity—is key to developing a knowledge-base that
creates new insights and ideas.
Listening is the most assured, efficient course to shaping the
judgments that we must make. Good listening can lead to a longer
and fruitful relationship at work and elsewhere. The people
possessing this ability assume a somewhat passive speaking role in
the conversation yet actively participate in the conversation using
body language and follow-up questions.
Respecting the speaker, even if there is disagreement and reacting in
the moment without expectation is part and parcel of good listening
skills. The speaker should feel respected and understood after having
a conversation with a Good Listener.

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Contents
 Overview
 Bad Listeners
 Templates

6
Qualities displayed by Good Listeners are based on 3 Critical Behaviors
Critical Behaviors of Good Listeners – Overview
It takes practice and conscious effort to become a good listener.
It takes practice and conscious effort to become a good listener.
Humans instinctively want to share their experiences.
Source: Power Listening, Ferrari, 2012
The more experienced a person, the fuller they are with ideas. Great listeners show restraint in their tendency to share. They
display 3 critical behaviors that make them what they are—great listeners:
Remain
Quiet
Challenge
Assumptions
Demonstrate
Respect
Making the speaker feel that what they
are saying is important. This feeling gets
reciprocated quickly.
Good Listeners seek the underlying assumption in
the conversation and challenge it. This generates
new ideas and opens up paths untrodden.
One cannot really listen while busy talking.
Remaining quiet enables understanding of
the actual point the other person is making.
3
1
2

7
ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLE
KEY CHARACTERISTICS
Genuinely having respect for the speaker in the conversation opens up
many avenues
Behaviors of Good Listeners – Demonstrate Respect
Complex operations are unmanageable without seeking input from staff at all levels.
Complex operations are unmanageable without seeking input from staff at all levels.
 Input is solicited from all levels.
 Speakers are made to feel that they have something exclusive to contribute.
 Conversation partners are assumed to have the proficiency to develop worthy solutions.
 Speakers are assisted by targeted follow-up questions to extract critical information, and it is
put in a new perspective.
 Tough questions are asked but in a polite manner.
 Impulse to provide ready-made solutions is contained.
 The fact that people can contribute insights in areas unrelated to their expertise is
recognized.
 Such environment creation enables across-the-board idea generation.
 A Chief Operating Officer of an institution
used the technique of showing respect to
everyone he entered a conversation with.
 He let everyone around him know that he
believed they had something unique to
contribute. He believed that his staff were
in a good position to come up with
solutions to problems.
 The respect shown by him was
reciprocated and good ideas routinely
came from across the institution.
OVERVIEW
Making the speaker feel that what they are saying is important. This feeling gets reciprocated quickly.
BEHAVIOR
Demonstrate Respect

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KEY CHARACTERISTICS
Contributing to a conversation without derailing it needs practice
Behaviors of Good Listeners – Remain Quiet
Knowing when to pitch-in during a conversation is an art.
Knowing when to pitch-in during a conversation is an art.
 Conversation partner speaks 80% of the time while a Good Listener speaks 20% of the time.
 Questions are posed in most of the 20% time.
 Urge to project status or ideas is refrained from.
 Focus is on the idea the speaker is trying to convey.
 Extraction of the prime motivation or thought in the conversation is sought.
 Patience and practice are needed to cultivate the habit of weighing in at the correct moment.
 Listener has to be impassioned and neutral while listening.
 Patiently spending time on the problem is necessary i.e., listening without prejudice or
preconceived notions.
 Other members are given a chance to enrich the conversation in a group.
 Remaining silent enables picking up of non-verbal cues.
 A C-level executive, while having a
conversation with a manager, noticed her
non-verbal cues were out of synch with
what she was saying.
 This, he was able to observe, because he
remained quiet during most of the
conversation and practiced listening
respectfully.
 During a pause in her unusually
inarticulate conversation, he surprised her.
He gently mentioned that he thought that
she did not agree with him and asked her
the reason. A look of relief came on her
face and then she went on to explain her
reasons.
OVERVIEW
One cannot really listen if one is busy talking. Remaining quiet enables understanding of the actual point
the other person is making.
BEHAVIOR
Remain Quiet

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KEY CHARACTERISTICS
Letting go of cherished assumptions makes the conversation creative
Behaviors of Good Listeners – Challenge Assumptions
The aim of challenging assumptions is to have joint action, not shared thinking.
The aim of challenging assumptions is to have joint action, not shared thinking.
 Long-held and valued assumptions are challenged in order to make gains from
conversations.
 Ambiguity is embraced and a quest to uncover what both conversation partners can gain
from the conversation is enlivened.
 Assumptions are laid bare for scrutiny and thinking is shaken up with an eye to reevaluating
what is known, unknown, and cannot be known.
 Reasoning is questioned in order to extract divergent viewpoints that lead to mutually agreed
action.
 Single fact is altered in the conversation to open up the creative thinking process; by taking
the conversation in the realm of hypothetical possibilities.
 A senior leader used to make clear in his
meetings that he wanted to hear from
everybody.
 He would mention that the aim of the
group was not to reach a unilateral
viewpoint but rather to reach a point of
joint action.
 His technique was to alter a single fact
during the discourse and take the
conversation from the realm of facts to the
realm of possibilities.
 As soon as people realized that the
conversation was of hypothetical nature,
where they could challenge any underlying
assumption, they would become creative.
OVERVIEW
Good Listeners seek the underlying assumption in the conversation and challenge it to generate new
ideas and insights.
BEHAVIOR
Challenge Assumptions

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Contents
 Overview
 Bad Listeners
 Templates

11
Good listeners present 13 qualities that make them great listeners
Key Qualities of Good Listeners – Overview
Good listening is an invaluable skill—it improves relationships with the world.
Good listening is an invaluable skill—it improves relationships with the world.
There are 13 qualities of a Good Listener, which can be synthesized from the 3 critical behaviors discussed earlier.
Source: 13 Qualities of a Good Listener, Kaplan, 2019
These qualities are:
Being a good
listener
requires
focusing on the
speaker, not
interrupting or
responding
rather just
hearing
them out.
Be fully present.
React in the moment.
Do not jump to give advice.
Ask follow-up questions.
Demonstrate listening.
Listen to learn.
Do not listen to respond.
Do not have an agenda.
Never interrupt.
Listen as much as (or more than) speaking.
Be patient.
Summarize what has been heard.
Be interested in what the speaker is interested in.
13
11
9
7
5
3
1
2
4
6
8
10
12

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Attentiveness, understanding, and appropriate response are among
the bedrocks of good listening
Qualities of Good Listeners – Details (1 of 4)
The ability to focus is a great tool in any circumstance.
The ability to focus is a great tool in any circumstance.
Let us examine the 13 qualities in further detail.
 Avoid all interruptions, such as phones, people, and other distractions.
 Maintain good eye contact to emphasize and demonstrate focus.
 Shun the compulsion to anticipate or dwell on the past.
 Listen to process and understand not to respond.
 Listen as if the conversation will need to be reproduced—very attentively.
 Be impassive.
 Focus on the present to give authentic reactions.
 Foster better connection with the speaker by providing moment-to-moment verbal and
non-verbal cues.
 Create better understanding by reacting instinctively rather than a critical mind.
1 Be fully present.
2 Do not listen to
respond.
3 React in the
moment.

13
Listening to understand results from holding conservations without
interrupting, following an agenda, or offering solutions
Learning to be a decent listener is an unceasing process.
Learning to be a decent listener is an unceasing process.
 Engage in the conversation without any expectation.
 Avoid being attached to a certain outcome.
 Desist from steering the conversation purposefully in a particular direction.
 Respond based on feeling in the present moment.
 Allow the conversation to flow where it needs to go.
 Talk through a problem.
 Avoid giving ready-made solutions.
 Resist the temptation to add thoughts, know when to offer assistance.
 Merely listen until the speaker is finished.
 Wait till the end of the conversation to politely clarify any confusions.
 Give speakers a chance to finish their train-of-thought.
4 Do not have an
agenda.
5 Do not jump to
give advice.
6 Never interrupt.

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Showing interest in a conversation means appropriate questioning
and body language
These qualities assist an individual to become an improved Listener.
These qualities assist an individual to become an improved Listener.
 Engage with the speaker by asking relevant questions.
 Ask questions in order to understand points and not to intimidate the speaker.
 Ask speakers about their needs, in case of an emotional conversation.
 Clarify and reiterate the agenda, in case of a business-related conversation.
 Steer clear of apprehension to get a say-in.
 Focus on extracting the underlying point.
 Respond organically and appropriately.
 Avoid dominating the conversation.
 Use effective body language to demonstrate attentiveness.
 Nod, lean, to show agreement or encourage speaker to continue.
 Keep steady eye contact.
7 Ask follow-up
questions.
8
Listen as much
as (or more than)
speaking.
9 Demonstrate
listening.

15
These qualities are imperative in a listener to gather meaningful
information
Being a good Listener mean others reciprocating the act.
Being a good Listener mean others reciprocating the act.
 Wait for the speaker to finish before making a point.
 Refrain from rushing to finish the conversation.
 Imagine speaking to someone highly respected and esteemed.
 Believe that something new will be learnt from the conversation.
 Ask open-ended questions to solicit explanations from the speaker.
 Remain absorbed and keen to try and learn something new from everyone.
 Care and support other people and show interest in what they have to say.
 Remain curious and find out more about the topic the speaker is communicating about.
 Show excitement about how the speaker will reply to queries.
 Summarize what the speaker has just said to show that it has been processed.
 Stress important moments in the conversation.
 Mention outstanding issues.
10 Be patient.
11 Listen to learn.
12
Be interested in
what the speaker
is interested in.
13 Summarize what
has been heard.

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Contents
 Overview
 Bad Listeners
 Templates

17
Avoiding behavior epitomized by Bad Listeners projects us on the path
to good listening
Bad Listeners – Overview
Bad Listeners cannot process information properly thus making bad decisions.
Bad Listeners cannot process information properly thus making bad decisions.
Identifying what a bad listener looks like helps avoid such behavior and consequentially move us on the path
to becoming a good listener.
Source: The Executive's Guide to Better Listening, McKinsey, 2012
Perfecting listening
skills means
learning what
prevents us from
seeking and hearing
the information we
need.
The
Opinionator
The
Grouch
The
Pretender
The
Preambler
The
Answer Man
The
Perservator
Bad listeners may be categorized into the following 6 types:

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Narcissism is a common factor in Opinionators and Grouches
Bad Listeners – Details (1 of 3)
Diplomacy and tactful private conversation are sometimes needed to make
someone listen.
Diplomacy and tactful private conversation are sometimes needed to make
someone listen.
A person can display these behaviors at different times and under different circumstances.
 Listens to others to establish if their
thoughts match his/hers.
 Does not listen with unbiasedness.
 Spends silences during conversations
as a chance to stock up on what they
want to say.
 Aims to intimidate conversation
partners.
 Tries to defeat other’s ideas.
 Has disdain for others’ ideas.
 Considers conversations a requisite
evil.
 Sends tacit signals that deride the
conversation partner.
 Can be made to understand a point of
view but with lots of perseverance.
The
Opinionator
The
Grouch

19
One-sided communication is a common factor in Preamblers
and Perseverators
Good Listeners set up alarm bells for their own off-putting behavior.
Good Listeners set up alarm bells for their own off-putting behavior.
 Aims to contain conversation partners
through lengthy questions.
 Applies questioning to direct the
discussion, relay warnings, or produce
a desired answer.
 Communicates unilaterally.
 Babbles endlessly.
 Questions and comments aimlessly.
 Does not let the conversation
advance.
 Uses partner’s thoughts to back own
prejudices, biases, and ideas.
The
Preambler
The
Perservator

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Pleasing others is common among the Answer man and the Pretender
A person may display all 6 types of behavior in a single day!
A person may display all 6 types of behavior in a single day!
 Offers solutions even before
agreement on the nature of the
problem.
 Anxiously desires to gratify and
impress.
 Has hasty responses to all points
broached.
 Feigns interest and even concurrence
but either is disinterested in what is
being said or has already formed an
opinion.
 Portrays body language that gives the
impression of interest and understanding
e.g., a knowing, ardent smile.
 Does not act on any advice given or
suggestion made.
The
Answer Man
The
Pretender

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Contents
 Overview
 Bad Listeners
 Templates

22
Insert headline
Critical Behaviors of Good Listeners – TEMPLATE
Insert bumper.
Insert bumper.
Remain
Quiet
Challenge
Assumptions
Demonstrate
Respect
3
1
2
• Insert filler text, filler text,
filler text, filler text. Insert
filler text, filler text, filler
text, filler text. Insert filler
text, filler text, filler text,
filler text,
text, filler text.
text, filler text.

23
Insert headline
Critical Behaviors of Good Listeners – TEMPLATE ALTERNATE
Insert bumper.
Insert bumper.
Demonstrate
Respect
Challenge
Assumptions
Remain
Quiet
3
1 2
• Insert filler text, filler text, filler
text, filler text. Insert filler text,
filler text, filler text, filler text.
Insert filler text, filler text, filler
text, filler text,
filler text, filler text.
text, filler text,
text, filler text,

24
Insert headline
13 Key Qualities of Good Listeners – TEMPLATE
Insert bumper.
Insert bumper.
Be fully present.
React in the moment.
Do not jump to give advice.
Ask follow-up questions.
Demonstrate listening.
Listen to learn.
Do not listen to respond.
Do not have an agenda.
Never interrupt.
Listen as much as (or more than) speaking.
Be patient.
Summarize what has been heard.
Be interested in what the speaker is interested in.
13
11
9
7
5
3
1
2
4
6
8
10
12

25
Insert headline
13 Key Qualities of Good Listeners – TEMPLATE ALTERNATE
Insert bumper.
Insert bumper.
Do not listen
to respond.
React in the
moment.
Never
interrupt.
Do not jump
to give advice.
Listen as much as
(or more than)
speaking.
Demonstrate
listening.
Be interested
in what the
speaker is
interested in.
Listen
to learn.
Summarize
what has been
heard.
Do not have
an agenda.
Ask follow-up
questions.
Be patient.
Be fully
present.
12
6
8
9
10
11
13
5
7
3
2
4
1
• Insert filler text, filler
text, filler text, filler
text. Insert filler text,
filler text, filler text,
filler text. Insert filler
text, filler text,
filler text.
filler text.

26
Insert headline
6 Types of Bad Listeners – TEMPLATE
Insert bumper.
Insert bumper.
The
Opinionator
The
Grouch
The
Pretender
The
Preambler
The
Answer Man
The
Perservator

27
Insert headline
6 Types of Bad Listeners – TEMPLATE ALTERNATE
Insert bumper.
Insert bumper.
The Opinionator
The Opinionator The Grouch
The Grouch The Preambler
The Preambler
The Perseverator
The Perseverator The Answer Man
The Answer Man The Pretender
The Pretender
1 2 3
4 5 6
text, filler text. Insert filler
text, filler text, filler text,
filler text,
text, filler text.
text, filler text.

28
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