Keynote - Tall Tales from a Large Man (Aaron Draplin)

OFFICIAL PRESENTATION:
AARON JAMES DRAPLIN / DRAPLIN DESIGN CO.
DDC VS. FUTURE INSIGHTS — “TALL TALES FROM A LARGE MAN” SPEAKING FIASCO — HELL YEAH!
JUNE 3, 2015 — TROPICANA CASINO, LAS VEGAS, NEV., U.S.A.

ATTENTION!
ATTENTION!
ATTENTION!

HEAR THAT
PLAYING
RIGHT NOW?

BOB
SEGER.

AS LONG AS
YOU ARE
DOWN WITH:

THICK
LINES

AND

ORANGE
STUFF

AND
LOTS OF

TINY
IDEAS

AND OF
COURSE,

GOING
FOR
BROKE

THEN ME
AND YOU?
HELL, WE’RE
GONNA BE...

JUST
FINE.

ATTENTION!
ATTENTION!
ATTENTION!

WE COME
IN PEACE...

PEDDLING,
SHARING &
THREATENING

OUR VERY
OWN BRAND
OF “DUMB”

USING
SCIENCE

DUMB
LUCK

TO BRING
YOU

A SPEAKING
FIASCO
TESTED THE
WORLD OVER

THAT WE’RE
CALLIN’

TALL TALES
FROM A
LARGE MAN

(APPLAUSE!)
(APPLAUSE!)
(APPLAUSE!)

HELLO,
FUTURE LIVE
CONFERENCE!

A SPINNING TROPICANA ROULETTE WHEEL
LAS VEGAS-FLAVORED THANKS TO:
ELLIE ROBINSON, SARAH ROBINSON,
KAYLA ROGERS, ANN DIAB, BRAD WEAVER,
BEN CALLAHAN, JENN LUKAS,
AND HELL, EVEN THE GUY WHO
THREATENED TO THROW ME OUT OF
THAT FANCY RESTAURANT LAST NIGHT
BECAUSE I WAS WEARING A HAT.

OFFICIAL
DDC
DISCLAIMER:

READ THIS:
THE OPINIONS, HALFWIT SENTIMENT
AND ABSOLUTE FUCKIN’ TRUTH IN THIS PRESENTATION
ARE SOLELY THAT OF THE DRAPLIN DESIGN CO. AND MORE OR
LESS ARE MEANT TO BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT SO JUST CHILL OUT, TAKE IT
ALL IN, LET IT BURN, BREATHE REAL DEEP, AND JUST PLAIN BE GLAD YOU DON’T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH US. REALLY. THIS IS OUR LITTLE LIFE AND WE’RE GONNA TELL
YOU THE WHOLE STORY. DEAL WITH IT., YOU SCRUBS. CAMERON, ARE YOU READING THIS? YOU BETTER BE.
JASON SANTA MARIA, HOLY SHIT, WE’RE SO LOSE ON ROUND 3. IT’S NICE TO BE BACK IN THE CITY. LAST TIME I WAS
HERE, I FREAKED OUT AND SPLIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, ESCAPING NEW YORK VIA THAT HOLLAND TUNNEL. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR
THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE
DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNGLINGS, SO FUCKIN’ EAGER TO HELP YOU.
THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW
JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE
ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SUR-
VIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING
AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS
AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING
AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE
FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST
TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED,
POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL
FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION
AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D
SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY
WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY. FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE
HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED, POPULATED BY WITTY, HAPPY YOUNG LINGS, SO EAGER TO HELP. THE FLIGHT HERE WAS PRETTY WEIRD. TIGHT SEATS AND SOME GAL WHO JUST HAD TO PEE EVERY 42 MINUTES. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE? GODDAMMIT. EACH TIME SHE GOT UP, I’D SCOLD HER. I DROVE TO NEW JERSEY AND SLEPT IN MY CAR THAT NIGHT. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I COULDN’T HANG WITH THE SOUNDS, PREDICTABLE FASHION AND NIGHTMARISH HORDES OF HIPSTER LURKERS WANDERING AROUND THE CITY. SO YEAH, THAT’S THE DEAL THERE. WE’RE STAYING AT THE ACE HOTEL FOR THIS ONE, AND IT’S NICE AND AIR CONDITIONED. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. NOW START THE FUCKIN’ SHOW, ALREADY.

WARNING:

<there>WON’T BE</any>
<fucking>CODE TALK</in this>
<half-ass>SPEAKING FIASCO</so>
<deal>WITH</it>
<goto>CODE SCHMODE</kill me>
<uh>BEEPBOOPHONK</fart>
<end>

OUR
INTENTIONS:
THIS TALK
IS MEANT TO

CLEAR
THE AIR

WIN YOU
OVER

AND

DEFY THE
FUCKIN’
ODDS

BECAUSE

01. I SHOULDN’T BE UP HERE.
02. HAVE NO CREDENTIALS.
03. NO PROFESSIONAL ACCOLADES.
04. HAVE NEVER WON AN AWARD.
05. DON’T HAVE A BOOK TO SELL.YET.
06. USUALLY DON’T WEAR PANTS.

HOW WE
GOT HERE:
FROM BIRTH TO THIS
PODIUM RIGHT HERE.

BEHIND
THE ORANGE
CURTAIN
2000

FREELANCE
RIVALING
WORK SALARY
2004

SCIENTIFIC PROOF:
PRECISELY 84
LEGITIMATE ITEMS
OF BONAFIDE
GRAPHIC ARTS

COAL SNOWBOARD 8.5” x 10.8125” (height x width) Questions regarding ad: Questions regarding files:
Mikey Leblanc Ad November .125” bleeds on all edges. Brad Scheuffele (206) 632-1601 Aaron J. Draplin (503) 282-3727
Mikey Leblanc in the Harbor.
Proud supporter of
Mark Welsh photo / coalheadwear.com

HOW
WE DO IT

TUNING
TIPS

$$$ VS.
0.00
AND WHAT MEANS
THE MOST IN THE END

COBRA
DOGS
BUDGET: $0.00

INVENTING
YER LIFE
(UNSOLICITED ADVERTISEMENT)

FIELD
NOTES

THANK YOU FOR
BELIEVING IN
FIELD NOTES

A CHALLENGE FOR YOU:
GET OUT
THERE
(AND GET DIRTY)

HANGING
AROUND GUYS
LIKE THIS:

HERO WORSHIP?
OF COURSE, BUT...
PAUL RAND
OTL AICHER
LANCE WYMAN
LESTER BEALL
STEFAN KANCHEV
ELIOT NOYES
HERB LUBALIN
SAUL BASS
MASSIMO VIGNELLI
OTTO NEURATH
ANDY WARHOL
TIBOR KALMAN
MAX HUBER
PAUL RENNER

BE SURE TO
DIG ON
THE UNSUNG
HEROES
OF DESIGN

AMPERSAND
EPIDEMIC

GET
COSMIC
DDC VS. FUTURE INSIGHTS — P.S.A. NO. 01

DDC VS. FUTURE INSIGHTS — P.S.A. NO. 01

WHAT’S
NEXT FOR
THE DDC

DDC WORLD TOUR 2009-2017
0 1 . N I S S WA
0 2 . S AVA N N A H
0 3 . D A L L A S
0 4 . P O R T L A N D
0 5 . O R L A N D O
0 6 . D E T R O I T
0 7 . M A N K AT O
0 8 . A N C H O R A G E
0 9 . C O L U M B I A
1 0 . M A I L C H I M P
1 1 . K A N S A S C I T Y
1 2 . L I N C O L N
1 3 . C L E V E L A N D
1 4 . D E S M O I N E S
1 5 . M I N N E A P O L I S
1 6 . P H I L A D E L P H I A
1 7 . J A C K S O N V I L L E
1 8 . S E AT T L E
1 9 . L O N D O N
2 0 . M A N C H E S T E R
2 1 . P H O E N I X
2 2 . B E N D
2 4 . D E N V E R
2 5 . P O R T L A N D
2 6 . C O L U M B I A
2 7 . C H A R L E S T O N
2 8 . O T TAWA
2 9 . T O R O N T O
3 0 . WAT E R L O O
3 1 . VA N C O U V E R
3 2 . B U R L I N G T O N
3 3 . S P O K A N E
3 4 . L O U I S V I L L E
3 5 . B O S T O N H O W
3 6 . S O M E RV I L L E
3 7 . C A L G A RY
3 8 . L A S V E G A S
3 9 . P O R T L A N D
4 0 . B R A N D N E W N Y C
4 1 . S A LT L A K E C I T Y
4 2 . M E M P H I S
4 3 . N A S H V I L L E
4 4 . I O WA C I T Y
4 5 . C E D A R R A P I D S
4 6 . WAT E R L O O
4 7 . B R O O K LY N
4 8 . B U F FA L O
4 9 . P O R T L A N D
5 0 . C H I C A G O
5 1 . M A I L C H I M P
5 2 . B E L FA S T
5 3 . S T O C K H O L M
5 4 . R A P I D C I T Y
5 5 . S A N F R A N C I S C O
5 6 . S A N J O S E
5 7 . B R O O K LY N
5 8 . G R E AT FA L L S
5 9 . S E AT T L E
6 0 . S A N A N T O N I O
6 1 . H O U S T O N
6 2 . A U S T I N
6 3 . K E T T E R I N G
6 4 . C I N C I N N AT I
6 5 . S T. C L O U D
6 7 . M C A D
6 8 . P I T T S B U R G H
6 9 . N E W Y O R K
7 0 . C H AT TA N O O G A
7 1 . F O R T WAY N E
7 2 . D E K A L B
7 3 . O K L A H O M A C I T Y
7 4 . Y O U R T O W N
7 5 . A N Y W H E R E
7 6 . E V E RY W H E R E

THE SHOW
MUST GO ON

151. CUPERTINO
152. SAN FRANCISCO
153. STARKVILLE
154. TUCSON
155. LAS VEGAS
156. RALEIGH
157. MIAMI
158. COLUMBUS
159. CLEVELAND
160. SASKATOON
161. EDMONTON
162. SAN FRANCISCO
163. PORTLAND
164. ALBANY
165. MILWAUKEE
166. COLUMBIA
167. BOSTON
168. COLUMBIA
169. AUGUSTA
170. AKRON
171. BOISE
172. AUSTIN
173. RUSTON
174. BALTIMORE
175. LOS ANGELES
176. BERLIN
177. LAS VEGAS!

PEOPLE I’VE
MET/EYEBALLED
ON TOUR IN
AIRPORTS AND
WHAT NOT

THINGS
I LOVE

THINGS
I HATE

1973
THE “1” AND “9” IN BASICALLY
EVERY MOVIE TITLE, EVER, AT THE
HANDS OF SOME OVERPAID, LAZY
BULLSHIT MOVIE TITLE DESIGNER.

OUR AT TEMPT AT
HIGH NOTE
CLOSERS
(STUFF THAT SHOULD
STICK TO YER RIBS)

YOU CAN’T
TAKE A BAG
OF “COOL”
TO THE BANK.

SAY YES
MAYBE A LITTLE MORE
THAN YOU SAY NO.

DO GOOD
WORK
FOR GOOD
PEOPLE
THIS DOES EXIST. REALLY.

TWITTER AND
INSTAGRAM PITCH:
FOLLOW US!
@DRAPLIN

THANK YOU
FUTURE LIVE
PEOPLES!

Keynote - Tall Tales from a Large Man (Aaron Draplin)

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Keynote - Tall Tales from a Large Man (Aaron Draplin)