The document provides tips for writing effective college application essays, including focusing on impact, leadership, and initiative when sharing stories. It recommends using an "Into, Through, and Beyond" structure, with active writing to draw the reader in and show qualities through specific examples and details. Students should have others proofread their essays and take time to develop their ideas fully. The goal is to authentically represent oneself and one's accomplishments to stand out from other applicants.

1. Get A Head Start On Your College
Application Essays: Impact and
Initiative
Rebecca Joseph, PhD
getmetocollege@gmail.com
@getmetocollege
Website/App: All College
ApplicationEssays

2. How Important Are Personal Statements?
What do American colleges look for?
1. Grades
2. Rigor of Coursework, School
3. Test Scores
4. Essays/Personal Statements*
5. Recommendations-Teacher and/or Counselor
6. Activities-Consistency, development, leadership,
and initiative
7. Special skills, culture, connections, talents, and
passions

3. The Power and Danger of Essays
1. Give me two reasons why admissions officers value
college application essays.
2. Give me two reasons why they often dread reading
the majority of them.

5. Essays=Opportunity
Share
Reflect
Stand Out

6. Do College Admissions Essays Matter?
 Essays are “not a substitute for a rigorous curriculum, good
grades and evidence that you're going to do well,”
 Still, the essay can make a difference.
 The first challenge for the writer: picking
a topic.
 Any topic can work — or fail.
 The biggest problem for students is
starting with too wide a focus. "By
the time they get to the details,
they run out of space. I'm all for
cutting to the chase."

7. So….Tip 1
Tip 1. College essays are fourth in importance
behind grades, test scores, and the rigor of
completed coursework in many admissions office
decisions. Don’t waste this powerful
opportunity to share your voice and express
what you really offer to a college campus.
Great life stories make you jump off the page and
into your match colleges.

8. A New Paradigm
Tip 2. Develop an overall strategic essay writing
plan. College essays should work together to help
you communicate key qualities and stories not
available anywhere else in your application.
Remember:
The package of essays counts…not just one.
It’s the message that you communicate along with the power of your stories and
your writing
It’s your ability to take the reader into, through, and beyond your stories quickly
and memorably
Tell stories that belong just to you. That’s why a narrow and powerfully, personal
focus is key.

9. Essays = Opportunity
 Take control over the highest ranked non-academic aspect of
the application
 Realize the package of essays counts…not just one
 Share their voice
 Empower students to take ownership of their stories
 Express who they really are
 Show (not tell) stories that belong only to them and help
them jump off the page
 Challenge stereotypes
 Reflect on their growth and development, including
accomplishments and service
 Seek to understand what the admission officer is looking for

10. What DO Admissions Officers Seek?
Context
Values
Intellectual curiosity, a playful mind, or a sense of humor
Commitment/Depth of Interests
Interaction with and/or perception by others
Special talents and qualities
Realistic self-appraisal

11. Ultimately…admissions officers want to
know your…
Impact Initiative

12. Four Major Application Types:
1. The Common Application
 Many private and some public American use the centralized
Common Application with their own Writing supplements
 It will go live August 1. More than 500 colleges use it.
 www.commonapp.org
 Don’t start writing any essays until you see all the essays required
for your top schools. My app-All College Application Essays has the
requirements.

13. 1. Common Application Essays
One Long/ 250-650 words –Paste in.
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their
application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when
you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make
the same decision again.
4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a
research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale.
Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood
to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
Activities: The Common Application leaves room for 10 activities
Additional Information: The Common Application allows you to add additional information. Accepts
up to 650 words.
Supplemental Essays
They range from one line to 500 words. Some schools have one, while other have three. They can overlap.
If it says optional, view it as mandatory.

14. Common Application Writing Supplements
Some long– U Penn, U Chicago (300-650 words)
Some medium—Stanford
Some small— Columbia, Brown

15. Four Major Application Types:
2. Large Public Universities
Many large and most prominent public universities
have their own applications.
 Universities of Arizona, California, Indiana, Maryland, Oregon,
Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin—to name just some
 They each have different essay requirements.
 They each have your report activities in a different way.
 But there are ways to use your other essays here as well.
 They have their own essays. You should gather their topics
and look for ways to use your common application essay as one
of your essays for the public colleges, and visa-versa.

16. UC California
 Two essays
 Respond to both prompts, using a maximum of 1,000 words total.
 You may allocate the word count as you wish. If you choose to respond to one
prompt at greater length, we suggest your shorter answer be no less than 250
words.
Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)-[Outside-In]
Describe the world you come from – for example, your
family, community or school – and tell us how your world
has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Prompt #2 (all applicants) [Inside-Out]
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment,
contribution or experience that is important to you. What
about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and
how does it relate to the person you are.

17. University of Texas Essay Tips
 Don’t tell us what you think we want to hear. The university’s essay readers don’t have a perfect essay in mind –
as a matter of fact essays that sound like all the rest of them – the essay that is expected – is more likely to be
overlooked.
 Be yourself. Show us what makes you unique, how you’ve dealt with issues and problems, what you think about the
topic at hand. Good writing teachers tell their students to write about what they know. That’s good advice for college
essays, too.
 Use a natural voice and style. Although it’s always important to use proper grammar, spelling, punctuation,
diction, etc., don’t write to try to impress anyone. Use words and a style that are appropriate for the topic you’re writing
about, for someone your age, and for someone who’s trying to communicate clearly and logically.
 Don’t be overly informal either. Your essay will be read by an adult professional. In almost all cases, you should
avoid using words or phrases that you might use when texting someone or on a social networking site.
 Develop your ideas. Although the length of your essay alone technically doesn’t matter, developing your ideas
completely does matter. If you can do that in a single page of text, that’s good; but if it takes you three pages or so, that’s
alright, too (as long as you’re not just adding words to make your essay longer). It’s not realistic to assume that you can
clearly communicate your unique perspective about anything in a short paragraph or two.
 Organize your thoughts. All good writing has a beginning, a middle, and an end. That doesn’t mean you should be
formulaic in your writing (this isn’t a high school exit exam), but you should introduce your idea, provide interesting
examples and details in support of your idea, and come to some sort of conclusion at the end.
 Don’t respond to the prompt as though you’re answering a question. Again, we don’t have a perfect essay in
mind. The prompt is supposed to get your mind churning, to make you want to tell us what you think about something
that’s important to you. Your essay is your opportunity to do that.

18. Four Major Application Types:
3. Private college specific applications
Fewer and fewer major private universities are not on the
common application
But there are still holdouts.
Georgetown and MIT to name a view.
Make sure you don’t write unnecessary essays as
Georgetown essays are like The Common Application.

19. Four Major Application Types:
4. Other systems
Some large public systems have their own
applications which do not require long, if any essays.
Yet their applications for financial aid or academic
support programs add in those requirements.
Washington State, for example, several short essays
which they share with other state systems.
The Universal Application is another system. It has
fewer colleges on it than The Common Application.

20. Develop A Master Chart
Tip 3. Keep a chart of all essays required by each
college, including short responses and optional
essays. View each essay or short response as a chance
to tell a new story and to share your core qualities.
I recommend three sheets.
 1. Major deadlines and needs. Break it down by the four
application types
 2. Core essays-Color code all the similar or overlapping essays.
 3. Supplemental essays. Each college has extra requirements
on the common application. Again color code similar types:
Why are you a good match for us? How will you add to the
diversity of our campus?

21. Write the Fewest
Yet Most Effective Essays…
Tip 4.
Find patterns
between colleges
essay requirements.
Use essays more
than once.
UC 1 or 2=Common
App =Scholarship
Essay

22. Where to Begin: Brainstorm

23. Brainstorm
Tip 5.
Share positive messages and powerful
outcomes.
Focus on impact, leadership, and initiative.
If you want to include challenges, lead
quickly to who you are now.
Some states can use only socio-economic
status, but not race, in admissions, but in
your essays, your voice and background can
emerge.

24. Brainstorming Tips
1. Starting by writing three short activity statements
2. Reading model essays from actual college websites
3. Looking at other college’s essay prompts-U Chicago,
Tufts
4. Writing a “Where I’m From” piece
5. Creating a letter to future roommate or an amazing list
of what makes you you.
6. Looking at 5 top FB and Instagram Pictures
7. Reading models from other students

25. What Did You Do Last Summer?

26. Daniel-UC 1
 …they hurriedly filed past me. Most would not even make eye contact, and the few who
did, quickly looked away, once I asked the question, "Would you like to register to
vote?"
 I repeated this mantra for hours on end, while working to register newly
naturalized immigrants to vote in downtown Los Angeles this past summer. Standing
in the lobby of the LA Convention Center, I dodged balloons and confetti so that I
could greet new citizens and their families as they left their naturalization ceremonies.
Multiple generations all beamed as they clung together in joy.
 Most people I approached turned away. Like a used car salesman feeling out his
customers, I persisted through the rejection and tried many different approaches from
foolishly and over-enthusiastically urging them to register to calmly and professionally
directing directly them to fill out the proper forms. I did begin to experience some
success. At one point, a slight, gentle Peruvian man expressed his desire to vote for the
Republican Party in broken English. He then asked, “That’s Obama, right?” While it
was beautiful to see a brand new American so quickly inspired by an American political
candidate (despite not knowing his party), I wondered about the hundreds who turned
away. I did not understand how these brand new citizens did not share my enthusiasm
for participating in our democratic political process.


27. Late in the summer, as yet another day of rejection after rejection left me drained and
exhausted, a large Nigerian woman became another in a long line of refusals. Her two young
children, however, grew wide-eyed at my pitch. They tugged and pulled on her sleeves, urging
her to reconsider and walk over to the registration booth. The smiling mother gently nudged
them along, amused by their enthusiasm, but undeterred in her quest to make it outside the
broad Convention Center doors and into the bright Southern California sunshine.
Finally, my confusion subsided. I though about my own grandparents, who, after
emigrating from Iran almost 40 years ago, found involvement in government a more foreign
concept than learning English. When they arrived in 1970, they were not as concerned with
actively bettering this country as they were with bettering the lives of their children.
During their naturalization ceremony, there could easily have been a passionate young
teenager imploring them to register to vote. And most likely, they rushed past him, eager to
burst out into their new country and make a better life for their children and grandchildren.
Because of the society they were brought up in, my grandparents were taught not to interfere
with their government. But, because of their dedication to their families, they made sacrifices
that have enabled their children and grandchildren to grow up in a country that encourages
activism.
And there I now stood, thinking back to the two children, understanding that hope and
participation in government cannot be magically instilled with balloons and confetti, but
rather, are cultivated in families throughout generations.

28. Into, Through, and Beyond Essay Approach
Tip 7. Follow Dr. Joseph’s Into, Through, and Beyond
approach.
It is not just the story that counts.
It’s the choice of qualities a student wants the college to
know about herself

29. Into,Through, and Beyond
Into
 It’s the way the reader can lead the reader into the piece—images, examples, context.
 Always uses active language: power verbs, crisp adjectives, specific nouns.
Through
 What happened…quickly…yet clearly with weaving of story and personal analysis
 Specific focus on the student
 Great summarizing, details, and images at same time
Beyond
 Ending that evokes key characteristics
 Conveys moral
 Answers ending prompts of two UC essays
 UC 1”and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.”
 UC 2 “What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it
relate to the person you are”

30. Tip 8. Use active writing: avoid passive sentences and
incorporate power verbs. Show when possible; tell
when summarizing.
Tip 9. Have trusted inside and impartial outside
readers read your essays. Make sure you have no
spelling or grammatical errors.
Take the Time With These Essays

31. Free Write
 Thinking of how Daniel started his essay. Think of
a way to begin one with one of your activities or
accomplishments.

32. Final Thoughts
Tip 10. Most importantly, make yourself come alive
throughout this process. Write about yourself as
passionately and powerfully as possible. Be proud of your
life and accomplishments. Sell yourself!!!
Students often need weeks not days to write effective
essays. You need to push beyond stereotypes.
Admissions officers can smell “enhanced” essays.
You can find many great websites and examples but each
student is different.

33. A Personal Favorite
Seat adjusted. Handlebars set. Feet clipped in. I roll out my feet to the beat of the song
playing in the background of the chaotic studio. As Cole gets on his bike and dims the lights,
everyone settles down for the upcoming 45-minute journey.
Warm-up
A catchy remix of Imagine Dragons’ Demons starts the class and my fundraiser. I sent an
email to SoulCycle months ago, wondering if I could merge my passion for helping others
with my passion for cycling. After getting a response from them saying that it was possible, I
started the process of organizing this fundraiser.
Sprint
Now that my muscles are loose, I’m ready for the pace to pick up. Instead of running in the
saddle, we come up as the bass drops. 45 seconds into the sprint my quads feel like they’re on
fire. Once my charity, Teamwork Makes the Dream-work, agreed to this event, I contacted
SoulCycle’s West Coast Communications representative and asked about the next steps.
Another 30 seconds go by before we can sit back down, the relief only temporary as we begin
to do crunches. I didn’t hear back for a couple weeks; the idea of the event began to fade.

34. Hill
Now it’s time to slow down. Madness by Muse blares through the speakers, a much slower
beat. After receiving an answer and being told what was needed to make this event a reality, I
started the slow process of collecting all the information I needed. Just because I’m riding a
stationary bike does not mean that the slow beat makes the class any easier; soon Cole yells
out: “Put 4 turns on the wheel. Make it heavy!” Isolating my upper body, I focus on the
strength in my core to get me through the next four minutes. Over the next two months, I put
together the entire program for the short 45-minute ride.
Quick jog
After Madness comes to an end, a remix of Ray Charles’ Good Thymes changes the somber
tone in the room into an excited one. I’ve almost lost the beat when the chorus begins and we
start to tap back onto the saddle. Tap backs are my favorite part of the class; they require
some degree of coordination—something I used to lack outside of the studio now is a second
nature.

35. Weights
Before SoulCycle, I severely underestimated the power of two-pound weights. The next eight
minutes are the most daunting of the entire class. I can’t help but worry about re-injuring my
torn rotator cuff, which has unexpectedly ended my swimming and tennis careers. Somehow
spinning provides me a new form of mental and physical release. As I carefully curl the
weights, I never realized that putting together a 45- minute exercise class required so much
of me. Has everyone signed the waiver? Does everyone have shoes? What am I going to give
everyone when they come out of class?
Going home
The ride is almost over and the journey is reaching its end. Everything was set in place, from
the date down to the playlist; people started coming into the studio, and everything I worked
for is paying off. Today, Cole plays Matisyahu’s Live Like a Warrior which carries the
message that keeps me coming back to SoulCycle: always be the strongest version of yourself.
I don’t need to be the strongest version of myself alone. I have the pack of riders behind me,
the board members of my charity, and the family we’re helping.

36. Stretch
As Cole says, the stretch “may be the only moment of quiet I get all day.” This is where I am
perfectly content; the room is dark and peaceful, allowing me to take a break from
everything else and just breathe. The silence ends, and I have to reenter a quick paced
reality, waiting for my next fundraising class to begin.

37. Keep In Touch
Follow me on twitter @getmetocollege
Become my facebook friend:
 getmetocollege freeadvice
Email me at getmetocollege.org
Buy my iPhone/Google app-All College Application
Essays. www.allcollegeessays.org