EFFECTIVE WRITING CENTERYour Advice from the EWCYour Adv.docx

EFFECTIVE WRITING CENTER
Your Advice from the EWC
Your Advice from the EWC
TO: Eqbal Danish
FROM: Jason
DATE: Monday, March 16
SUBJECT: Your essay for 2202HUMN100
Congratulations on your progress in writing your essay for
2202HUMN100!
My name is Jason, and it’s my pleasure to work with you today.
Before we begin, let’s review a few important guidelines and
resources:
· Students may submit one request for advice (either written
feedback or live online advising) every 48 hours.
· You are welcome to come to the Effective Writing Center for
help at any stage in the writing process, whether you are just
getting started an assignment or want feedback on a rough draft.
· Resources to help you revise your writing assignment are
hyperlinked within this letter and in the More Resources section
at the end.
· Before reading this advice, please review the writing that you
submitted. We’ve pasted your draft at the end of this advice
letter.

At the EWC we are attentive readers who help you improve as a
writer by explaining and modeling effective writing skills. For a
more detailed discussion of our services, please click this link
and visit the Effective Writing Center web site.
Are You Interested in More Help?
Schedule a Live Advising Appointment!
· The Effective Writing Center also offers live, online advising
via teleconference. You can submit an appointment request
through the MyUMGC portal.
Advice Overview
We will discuss the following strategies that can help you to
strengthen your paper:
· Introduction
· Some tips for structuring paragraphs
· APA style
· Some grammar and mechanics
Although we will cover revisions and rules, your professor’s
instructions always take precedence over any advice you receive
from the EWC. If you have any questions, refer to your
assignment guidelines first and don’t hesitate to ask your
professor to clarify any unanswered questions.
Assignment Management

Thank you for submitting the assignment requirements. Our
goal is to ensure that your paper meets your professor’s
assignment requirements as closely as possible, so this
information is a big help!
Below is a table with an overview of your assignment, what you
have completed, and what you need to fulfill the requirements.
Assignment Requires
You Have
You Need
Thesis statement and introduction
You have this
To make sure that your thesis statement comes at the end of
your introduction and clearly identifies your main claim and
supporting evidence
Proofread for grammatical and spelling errors
A few run-on sentences
Title page and running head formatted according to APA style
You have these
A few changes
Thesis & Organization
Goals:
· Articulate your thesis, argument, main idea, and/or purpose
clearly.
· Organize your document or presentation in a manner that
promotes understanding.
You will want to make sure that your thesis statement comes at

the end of your introduction and clearly and specifically states
the main claim(s) of your essay. As well, your introduction
should focus on introducing your thesis statement. Let’s take a
look at your current introduction and thesis:
Social inequality is of great concern to the world since it affects
every single act of injustice that is happening all over the
world, thus having a significant impact on humanity disciplines.
Social inequality can get defined as handing out of favors and
rewards to people or even the whole society at large. Social
inequality affects humanity disciplines in the way people relate
and interact with each other so much that it affects their work.
In this case, you will want to revise your introduction so that it
includes a thesis statement. Your thesis should come at the end
of your introduction and identify the main conclusion of your
essay regarding social inequality, as well as the main evidence
and arguments you will provide in support.
This website from the EWC includes some helpful videos about
this basic essay format that you may want to review, including
the Five-Paragraph Essay Outline and the formulas for a Thesis
Statement, Introduction, Body Paragraph, and Conclusion.
Literacy Education Online’s site on Developing an Introduction:
The Top-Down Model also has a really great diagram of how an
introduction should develop.
If you feel like you need any further help with the introduction,
Indiana University’s How to Write a Thesis Statement gives a
helpful overview of the thesis process.
Development & Research
Goals:
· Develop coherent paragraphs, points, and/or sections so that

each is internally unified and functions as a part of your entire
document or presentation.
· Tailor your communications to the audience.
· Provide sufficient support for your ideas
· Integrate material from research (if required) smoothly into
your own content.
As you revise your assignment, you will want to make sure that
each paragraph focuses on a single and main point and that your
topic sentences clearly state the main claim or claims of your
paragraph, as well as state what evidence will be provided in
support. Let’s take a look at this paragraph, for example:
One of the most affected humanity discipline by social
inequality include literature on art. Art is usually measured by
the proportion of the artistic occupations in various categories,
including classical, fashionable, or even commercial art (Judith
R. Blau). Naturally, social-economic inequality, however, does
promote art though it is no longer through primary patronage
through the influence to consume art and particularly, through
the diverse demand for art engendered by vast differences in
economic class. […]
In addition, you will want to revise your topic sentence so that
it is more specific and identifies the main claim that you will
make regarding social inequality and literature in this
paragraph, as well as the evidence you will provide in support.
Here is a summary of the key points to keep in mind while
revising your paragraphs:
1. Claim: this is also sometimes called a topic sentence. The
main idea here is to let your reader know what the paragraph

will be about.
2. Evidence: this is what you will use to support, or back up,
your topic sentence. This should be presented as succinctly as
possible, and could be between 4-8 sentences depending on how
much space it takes to present the evidence. Any background
information necessary to understand the significance of the
evidence can be integrated into the presentation of the evidence.
3. Analysis/Conclusions: Your analysis and conclusions will
wrap up each paragraph, and should explain why the evidence in
the paragraph supports the claim made in the topic sentence.
Formatting & Citations
Goals:
· Format paper according to the rules of required style.
· Cite sources according to the rules of your required style.
APA style generally requires the following components in
addition to a references page and in-text citations:
· A title page
· A running head (a shortened version of the title) in the upper
left-hand corner of each page
· Page numbers in the upper right-hand corner of each page
(next to the running head)
For the title page of your paper, you will want to include a title,
your name, and the name of the university in the same font as
the rest of your essay. Generally, you do not need to include the
course name or the date, but your instructor’s directions may
differ. For the running head, you will want to include a

shortened version of the page title and a page number, starting
with page one on the title page and continuing through the other
pages.
Your title page will end up looking something like this (if you
are following standard APA style):
To see an example of a completed title page as well as a sample
paper in APA style see Purdue OWL’s sample.
For more information on the APA style you can also check out
OWL Purdue.
Grammar & Mechanics
Goals:
· Use sentence structure appropriate for your task, message, and
audience.
· Follow conventions of Standard Written English.
Make sure to look for any run-ons. These occur when you have
two or more independent clauses (groups of words that “stand
alone” as complete sentences) that are in the same sentence
without appropriate punctuation.
Different cultures and societies have different types of norms
and if a particular society and culture is to follow and practice
Christianity and a Muslim moves into that place they may get
looked down upon and get seen as socially unequal simply cause
they do not follow the same rule like the other and thus do not
fit in the general standard.

There are a few different ways you can join these independent
clauses.
You can simply divide them into separate sentences by inserting
periods:
Different cultures and societies have different types of norms. If
a particular society and culture is to follow and practice
If you have closely related independent clauses, you can join
them with semicolons:
Different cultures and societies have different types of norms; if
a particular society and culture is to follow and practice
You can also join them using a comma and a conjunction, such
as “and” or “but”,
Different cultures and societies have different types of norms,
To learn more about independent clauses and run-on sentences
see this guide.

Summary
Good luck! As you continue your work on this project, be sure
to:
1. Revise your thesis statement, making sure that your
introduction focuses on introducing your thesis and states your
main evidence
2. Review for any other run-on sentences
3. Make sure each paragraph is fully developed and has a clear
and specific topic sentence that reflects what you discuss in
your paragraph and identifies your main evidence
It’s been my pleasure assisting you with your essay, and I’d like
to invite you to resubmit for additional feedback at any stage of
the writing process. Best of luck and have a splendid semester!
Best,
Jason
More Resources
UMUC Effective Writing Center
www.umuc.edu/ewc
Effective Writing Center Web Index
http://effectivewritingcenter.org/
Live, One-On-One Advising
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/web/live_advising.html

Live Advising: On Demand & Face-to-Face
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/web/live_advising.html
Getting It Write: An Introduction to the Effective Writing
Center
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/web/getting_it_write.html
How to Best Use the EWC
http://polaris.umuc.edu/ewc/web/best_use_ewc.html
Copy of Your Draft
Eqbal Eqbal Laurence Jarvik Laurence HUMN 100 14 March
2020 Social inequality Social inequality is of great concern to
the world since it affects every single act of injustice that is
happening all over the world, thus having a significant impact
on humanity disciplines. Social inequality can get defined as
handing out of favors and rewards to people or even the whole
society at large. Social inequality affects humanity disciplines
in the way people relate and interact with each other so much
that it affects their work. One of the most affected humanity
discipline by social inequality include literature on art. Art is
usually measured by the proportion of the artistic occupations in
various categories, including classical, fashionable, or even
commercial art (Judith R. Blau). Naturally, social-economic
inequality, however, does promote art though it is no longer
through primary patronage through the influence to consume art
and particularly, through the diverse demand for art engendered
by vast differences in economic class. However, when there is
an inequality in education, art is greatly affected since art does
dwell in places where people are educated and have a cultural
orientation and a diverse taste of subculture taste. The theory
gets supported by the finding that the large existence of a large

group of people that love and appreciate art are in a metropolis
and are positively related to artistic activities. Inequality in
overall social status encourages performing but discourages
nonperforming arts, probably because performing artists have to
be located where affluent audiences can support operas and rock
concerts and other performing institutions, whereas other artists
do not. Religion is one of the most affected in terms of social
inequality, and the evidence is seen today. In some religions,
there is a significant differentiation among their church
members, which is linked to social inequality (Lisa Keister).
The higher the person hierarchy in the church or even in
religion, the higher in the social class the person will get to be,
and the person will get more respect and have a higher place in
the society. When religion gets practiced in areas where it is not
dominant, this also creates a social inequality among culture
and society. Religion social inequality gets tricked by norms.
Different cultures and societies have different types of norms
fit in the general standard. Music is a known critique of
humanities disciplines that speaks aloud the stories to the world
on how social inequality influences culture and society both
positively and negatively (Timberg). Today music is popularly
addressing the social and economic reality of what they people
are going through, and the movement did not begin today but
dated way back. Back in the 60s and the 70s rock and soul
bands got written about the war and the civil rights, hip-hop
artist rappers still are spitting about the injustice and racism
that is going around the world, music is one the critique that has
pushed for social inequality justice. It is not easy for music to
spread along with the message since most of the time, and they
are faced with conflict by getting intimidated by the people and
the government and influential people in the society that are at
the forefront of encouraging and enacting social inequality.

Citation Judith R. Blau, Peter M. Blau, and Reid M. Golden.
"Social Inequality and the Arts." American Journal of Sociology
((Sep. 1985): pp. 309-331. Lisa Keister, Duke University Darren
Sherkat, Southern Illinois University. The Relationship between
Inequality and Religion. Feb 2012.
<https://www.russellsage.org/awarded-project/relationship-
between-inequality-and-religion>. Timberg, Scott. How music
has responded to a decade of economic inequality. 30 JUL 2018.
<https://www.vox.com/culture/2018/7/30/17561470/music-of-
inequality>.
HUMN 100 Final Project
For your final project, you will choose a subject, find three
expressions of that subject in three different Humanities
disciplines, describe the three different presentations, and offer
an analysis of each of your choices.
Due Dates
· Part 1: Selection of Topic due at the end of Week 3
· Part 2: Development of your topic due at the end of Week 6
· Part 3: Paper due at the end of Week 8
Purpose
The purpose of this assignment is to apply the concepts and
skills you have learned during the semester for how to analyze
works within the Humanities.
Skills
This assignment will help you practice the following skills that
will be useful to you in your professional and personal life
beyond school.
1. Research, select, and describe appropriate examples
2. Organize materials around a specific theme
3. Use concepts and skills learned in class to develop analytical
skills
4. Use appropriate and proper grammar, organization, and
academic-style formatting in order to communicate

Knowledge
This assignment will help you become familiar with the
following important content knowledge in the Humanities.
1. Available online resources which contain examples of works
in the Humanities
2. Methods of analysis and interpretation within the Humanities
Part 1: Selection of Topic.
This part of the final project is your choice of topic.
Choose one of the following subjects or propose one of your
own.
· One particular emotion or state of mind such as anger,
jealousy, fear, gratitude, confusion, etc.
· One specific fairy tale, myth, fable, or classic story from any
culture
· One religious or spiritual lesson or belief such as humility,
hope, enlightenment, renunciation, reincarnation, the Trinity,
the eight-fold path, ahimsa (non-violence), etc.
· One political or social theme such as social justice or
injustice, social inequality, social progress, political conflict,
etc.
· One form of cultural/societal identity such as race, sexual-
orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, or class, or you could
combine two of these such as "black women," or "Chinese-
American fathers," or "LGBTQ Native-Americans."
· A specific fictional character such as a character from a novel,
play or film or a specific public personality such as a news
anchor, a religious leader etc.
· One natural force or element of the natural world, like a kind
of weather (snow, rain, sun), an animal (cat, dog, horse), a kind
of landscape (mountain, oceanic, desert), vegetation (trees,
flowers, grass, rivers etc.).
Explain two reasons for your choice in a short paragraph of 4-5
sentences. Be sure to include the significance of your choice to
your own thinking about the world and/or its cultural
significance.
Due Date for Part 1: This submission is due during Week 3,

with the final day of submission being the Sunday of the third
week (11:30pm ET). Please see the Course Schedule for the
exact final due date for this submission. The submission should
be carefully edited and proofed for standard use of English.
Part 2: Development of your Topic.
This part of the final project is a summary of your ongoing
work on the final paper; it should include three paragraphs, one
covering each selected work. You should also make sure to re-
state what your subject is.
Identify how the subject you chose in Part 1 appears in three
different works, each from a different Humanities discipline
(visual art, music, dance, poetry, prose, theater, film, religion).
For instance, you could choose a poem, a painting and a scene
from a film, all of which express and represent the theme of
anger. Or, to be even more specific, if you choose the emotion
of "love," the final paper could analyze and discuss love as it is
expressed in Shakespeare's Sonnet 147 (literature), Boticelli's
Birth of Venus (visual art), and in the ballet Swan Lake (dance).
Write one short paragraph (3-5 sentences) about each of your
selections in which you:
1. Choose reliable and appropriate examples (a good-quality
image, recording, video, etc.).
2. Identify and cite the source, including the artist, creator etc
as well as where you found the example.
3. Explain why you find the example relevant for this
assignment and mention one tool from the class materials and
discussions you might be able to use to talk about it.
with the final day of submission being the Sunday of the sixth
Part 3: Paper.
This part of the final project is the paper that presents your
description and analysis of your selected works.

In a 750-1200 word essay:
· Explain the subject you chose and why it’s worth exploring in
the Humanities
· Describe each of your selected examples, including 1)
information about its creator; 2) its historical or cultural context
(how it fits into a historical period's or a specific culture's
attitudes, events etc. Think about what else was going on in the
culture and history when the piece was created); and 3) link to
the example or an embedded image with a citation in the
paper where you write about each example.
· Use at least one specific interpretative tool from the course to
explain each of your selected examples. You should use a
different tool for each example, so you should use at
least three different tools in your paper.
· Assess the effectiveness or impact of each representation. In
other words, how well did the representation present the
subject? How effective was it? What impact did this
representation have? What specific elements of the
representation lead you to your conclusions?
· Provide a correctly formatted paper, complete and proper
citations for any references you consult, using MLA format
Documentation Style: The paper is to be formatted and
documented in the MLA format. For general assistance, see the
links below to the UMUC Library.
· MLA
Citation: http://sites.umuc.edu/library/libhow/mla_tutorial.cfm
· MLA Citation
Examples: http://sites.umuc.edu/library/libhow/mla_examples.cf
m
STOP: Before you hand in your assignment, make sure to ask
yourself the following questions:
1. Have I included a paragraph that provides one to two logical,
concrete, well-stated reasons that this subject is worth exploring
within the Humanities?
2. Have I included least two to three sentences for each example

that clearly and concretely provide information about its
creator, cultural/historical context, and where I found it-an
image or link?
3. Have I included at least one to three sentences that explains
and applies a specific interpretative tool that is from the
course's learning resources or discussions to each example?
4. Have I included at least one to three sentences that contains
an assessment of the effectiveness of each example in
representing the chosen subject?
5. Have I provided a list of resources and do all of my citations
conform to MLA 8th edition or APA guidelines?
6. Have I proofread this assignment for grammatical, structural,
and spelling errors?
with the final day of submission being the Sunday of the eighth
HUMN 100 Final Project
For your final project, you will choose a subject, find three
expressions of that subject in three different Humanities
disciplines, describe the three different presentations, and offer
an analysis of each of your choices.
Due Dates
· Part 1: Selection of Topic due at the end of Week 3
· Part 2: Development of your topic due at the end of Week 6
· Part 3: Paper due at the end of Week 8
Purpose
The purpose of this assignment is to apply the concepts and
skills you have learned during the semester for how to analyze
works within the Humanities.
Skills
This assignment will help you practice the following skills that

will be useful to you in your professional and personal life
beyond school.
1. Research, select, and describe appropriate examples
2. Organize materials around a specific theme
3. Use concepts and skills learned in class to develop analytical
skills
4. Use appropriate and proper grammar, organization, and
academic-style formatting in order to communicate
Knowledge
This assignment will help you become familiar with the
following important content knowledge in the Humanities.
1. Available online resources which contain examples of works
in the Humanities
2. Methods of analysis and interpretation within the Humanities
Part 1: Selection of Topic.
This part of the final project is your choice of topic.
Choose one of the following subjects or propose one of your
own.
· One particular emotion or state of mind such as anger,
jealousy, fear, gratitude, confusion, etc.
· One specific fairy tale, myth, fable, or classic story from any
culture
· One religious or spiritual lesson or belief such as humility,
hope, enlightenment, renunciation, reincarnation, the Trinity,
the eight-fold path, ahimsa (non-violence), etc.
· One political or social theme such as social justice or
injustice, social inequality, social progress, political conflict,
etc.
· One form of cultural/societal identity such as race, sexual-
orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, or class, or you could
combine two of these such as "black women," or "Chinese-
American fathers," or "LGBTQ Native-Americans."
· A specific fictional character such as a character from a novel,
play or film or a specific public personality such as a news
anchor, a religious leader etc.
· One natural force or element of the natural world, like a kind

of weather (snow, rain, sun), an animal (cat, dog, horse), a kind
of landscape (mountain, oceanic, desert), vegetation (trees,
flowers, grass, rivers etc.).
Explain two reasons for your choice in a short paragraph of 4-5
sentences. Be sure to include the significance of your choice to
your own thinking about the world and/or its cultural
significance.
with the final day of submission being the Sunday of the third
Part 2: Development of your Topic.
This part of the final project is a summary of your ongoing
work on the final paper; it should include three paragraphs, one
covering each selected work. You should also make sure to re-
state what your subject is.
Identify how the subject you chose in Part 1 appears in three
different works, each from a different Humanities discipline
(visual art, music, dance, poetry, prose, theater, film, religion).
For instance, you could choose a poem, a painting and a scene
from a film, all of which express and represent the theme of
anger. Or, to be even more specific, if you choose the emotion
of "love," the final paper could analyze and discuss love as it is
expressed in Shakespeare's Sonnet 147 (literature), Boticelli's
Birth of Venus (visual art), and in the ballet Swan Lake (dance).
Write one short paragraph (3-5 sentences) about each of your
selections in which you:
1. Choose reliable and appropriate examples (a good-quality
image, recording, video, etc.).
2. Identify and cite the source, including the artist, creator etc
as well as where you found the example.
3. Explain why you find the example relevant for this
assignment and mention one tool from the class materials and
discussions you might be able to use to talk about it.

with the final day of submission being the Sunday of the sixth
Part 3: Paper.
In a 750-1200 word essay:
· Explain the subject you chose and why it’s worth exploring in
the Humanities
· Describe each of your selected examples, including 1)
information about its creator; 2) its historical or cultural context
(how it fits into a historical period's or a specific culture's
attitudes, events etc. Think about what else was going on in the
culture and history when the piece was created); and 3) link to
the example or an embedded image with a citation in the
paper where you write about each example.
· Use at least one specific interpretative tool from the course to
explain each of your selected examples. You should use a
different tool for each example, so you should use at
least three different tools in your paper.
· Assess the effectiveness or impact of each representation. In
other words, how well did the representation present the
subject? How effective was it? What impact did this
representation have? What specific elements of the
representation lead you to your conclusions?
· Provide a correctly formatted paper, complete and proper
citations for any references you consult, using MLA format
Documentation Style: The paper is to be formatted and
documented in the MLA format. For general assistance, see the
links below to the UMUC Library.
· MLA
Citation: http://sites.umuc.edu/library/libhow/mla_tutorial.cfm
· MLA Citation

Examples: http://sites.umuc.edu/library/libhow/mla_examples.cf
m
STOP: Before you hand in your assignment, make sure to ask
yourself the following questions:
1. Have I included a paragraph that provides one to two logical,
concrete, well-stated reasons that this subject is worth exploring
within the Humanities?
2. Have I included least two to three sentences for each example
that clearly and concretely provide information about its
creator, cultural/historical context, and where I found it-an
image or link?
3. Have I included at least one to three sentences that explains
and applies a specific interpretative tool that is from the
course's learning resources or discussions to each example?
4. Have I included at least one to three sentences that contains
an assessment of the effectiveness of each example in
representing the chosen subject?
5. Have I provided a list of resources and do all of my citations
conform to MLA 8th edition or APA guidelines?
6. Have I proofread this assignment for grammatical, structural,
and spelling errors?
with the final day of submission being the Sunday of the eighth

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