3 believe in yourself self-esteem-student guide.pjm.v3

LIFE AND EMPLOYABILITY
SKILLS CURRICLUM
Student Guide
Believe in Yourself:
Building Self-Confidence and
Self- Esteem

COPYRIGHT
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Believing In Yourself: Building Self-Confidence
and Self-Esteem
Student Guide

Table of Contents
Believing In Yourself: Building Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem ...................2
Student Guide.........................................................................................................................2
Preface ....................................................................................................1
Introduction: How to Use this Guide........................................................................................1
Session One: Course Overview.................................................................................................2
Pre-Course Assessment...........................................................................5
Session Two: What is Self-Esteem............................................................................................6
Defining Self-Esteem.............................................................................................................................................6
Project Self-Esteem...............................................................................................................................................8
The Six Building Blocks of Self-Esteem ..............................................................................................................8
Write real life example for each of the building blocks ...........................................................................9
Self Esteem Survey..............................................................................................................................................10
Session Three: What Challenges Self Esteem? ........................................................................14
Identify troubling conditions or situations .....................................................................................................15
Project Self-Esteem: Challenging Situations Checklist..................................................................................15
Improving Self-Esteem .......................................................................................................................................17
Characteristics Of Self Esteem ..........................................................................................................................19
Identifying Building Blocks and Life Areas for Work.....................................................................................22
Project Self-Esteem: Lesson Plans....................................................................................................................25
Example: Lesson Plan for Problem Solving.....................................................................................................26
The Basic Steps In Problem Solving Strategy:............................................................................................27
Blank Lesson Plan For Problem Solving...........................................................................................................30
Session Four: How the Brain Works........................................................................................31
Session Five: What do I Believe?...........................................................................................34
How Baby Elephants Are Trained.....................................................................................................................34
Limiting Beliefs - Removing Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back 1:41
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiwD3HbuKVA ................................................................34
Activity: What I Believe......................................................................................................................................35
Session Six: Learning to Love Yourself....................................................................................36
How To Love Yourself Activity...........................................................................................................................37
Toot Your Horn Activity......................................................................................................................................39
Create a Pleasure List.........................................................................................................................................41
Self Confidence Activity .....................................................................................................................................42
Session Seven: Choose to be Grateful! ...................................................................................44
Session Eight: Visualization....................................................................................................47
Why do visualization exercises produce results?..........................................................................................47

Awareness-Choice-Change Model ...................................................................................................................49
Session Nine: Harnessing the Power of The Law of Attraction..................................................51
The Law of Attraction.........................................................................................................................................51
Feel the Vibe!.......................................................................................................................................................54
Unintentional Attraction....................................................................................................................................55
How can you apply this idea to your life?.......................................................................................................55
Law of Attraction Techniques to Change Your Energy .................................................................................56
Session Twelve: Goal Setting: What Do You Really Want? ......................................................59
Workshop Wrap up ...............................................................................................................61
Post-Course Assessment .......................................................................62
Believe in Yourself Personal Action Plan..............................................63
Believe in Yourself Rubric ......................................................................................................65
Believe in Yourself Course Evaluation....................................................1

Self-EsteemandSelf-Confidence
WV Adult Basic Education Page 1
PREFACE
Introduction: How to Use this Guide
This Self-Study Guide is designed and laid out in a way that will guide student learning much in
the same way that an instructor would. This workbook is comprised of modules called Sessions.
Each Session focuses on a major concept in the course.
In each Session, we have included short-answer and (in some instances) multiple choice
questions which relate directly to the Session material.
Throughout the guide, you can take the opportunity to internalize what you have learned by
completing the self-reflection exercises entitled “Making Connections.”

Session One: Course Overview
Course Overview
If you sufferfromlowself-esteem(orhave beentoldyoudo),orinteractwithpeople withlow self-
esteem(orthinkyoudo),thiscourse isforyou. Oftenourhistoryof low self-esteemconditionsusto
thinkof ourselvesasunworthyanddrivesustoconstantlyandnegativelycompare ourselvestoothers.
Through a structuredseriesof activitiesdesignedtoguide studentstochallenge negativebeliefsand
applya problemsolvingapproachtoareasof low self-esteem,positive self-esteemwill be encouraged
to rise to a healthylevel.
Good self-esteemisactuallyabyproductof livinginahealthyway.ProjectSelf-Esteemintegratesself-
esteemanddailylivingskills.Thisworkshopconcentratesonbuildingself-esteemforthe everyday
worldof social interaction,employment,learningandfamily.Eachlessonusesaproblem-solving
approach to helpovercome areasof low self-esteem.
Learning Objectives
Duringthiscourse,participants will:
 Define self-esteem
 Complete aself-esteemsurveyandidentifyareasforgrowth
 Learn techniquesforbuildingpositive self-esteemforthemselvesandotherfamilymembers
 Applythose techniquestoaframeworkforintegratingself-esteemandlife skills
Personal Goals

Action Plans and Evaluations
A personal Plan and a Course Evaluation are included in this guide. You will have an opportunity
to complete them at the end of this module. However, you are encouraged to make notes
throughout the course of this workshop.

Pre-Assignment
What do you hope to get out of this course?Use thisopportunitytoconsideryourpersonal
learningobjectivesandreasonsfortakingthiscourse.
Let’sstart thinkingaboutself- esteem!Before continuingwiththiscourse,please answerthe following
twoquestions.
Thinkaboutsomeone youknowthathas goodself-esteem.Listsome qualitiesaboutthispersonthat
leadsyouto believetheyhave goodself-esteem.
1. What factors contribute togoodself-esteem? Whatfactors contribute topoorself-esteem?

PRE-COURSE ASSESSMENT
1. What is self-esteem?
a. Self-esteemisthe value orworthothersplace onyou.
b. Self-esteemisthe opinionapersonhasabouttheirownself-image
c. Self-esteemisknowingnoone else isastalentedorsmartas we are.
2. True or False: Self-esteeminone ofthose thingsyou cannot change.
3. True or False: Givingupeasilyis a signof low self-esteem.
4. Low or High Self-Esteemmaybe triggeredby
a. The numberof friendswe have
b. The way we were treatedbyour parentsas children
c. The part of townwhere we live
d. All of the above
5. True or False: Low self-esteemcankeepyou from reaching your potential.
6. True or False: Self-esteemaffectsourtrust in others, our relationships,ourwork and nearly
everyother part of our lives.
7. Goodself-esteemcanhelpyou to
a. Be happier.
b. Make betterchoices.
c. Both A and B
d. NeitherA norB
8. Low self-esteemcanaffect :
a. Your viewof life
b. Your abilitytomake decisions
c. Your dependence onothers
d. All of the above
9. True or False: Positive self-esteemgivesusthe strengthand flexibilitytotake charge of our lives
and grow from our mistakeswithout the fearof rejection.
10. True or False: Usingaffirmationsto stop negative self-talkisa simple,positive wayto help
increase self-esteem.

Session Two: What is Self-Esteem
People withgoodself-esteemmayseemtosucceedwithouteffortorplanning.Theydon’tseemto
struggle withchoices,appearflustered,orgetnervous. Theyseemtohave more goodluckthan bad
luck.Where doesgoodself-esteemcome from? Isgoodself-esteematalentorsomethingapersonis
born with? Or isit somethingwe cangrow and developwithpractice andsupport.
In thissession,we’ll reviewyourpre-assignmentandlookat some concrete stepsyoucan take to
increase yourself-image andimproveyourself-esteem.
Defining Self-Esteem
How wouldyoudefine self-esteem?
Why wouldsomeone wanttodevelopgoodself-esteem?
Watch thisshort videobyAnthonyColemancalled AwakenGoodSelf-Esteem.2:35
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPVhiH8p9R4
Do you agree or disagree with what the speaker has to say about self-esteem? Why or why
not?

Anthony says, “We could go far, as individuals as well as a society, if we just truly cared about
ourselves and everyone around us.” What do you think of this statement? What does it mean
in your own life?
Self-Esteemcouldbe definedas: What our unconscious believes to be true about how worthy,
lovable, valuable and capable we are.
Webster’sdefinition: A confidence and satisfaction in oneself.
Reasonsthatyou mightwantto developgoodself-esteemcaninclude:
 How we feel aboutourselvescaninfluence how we live ourlives.
 People whofeelthattheyare likable andlovable(inotherwordspeople withgoodself-esteem)
have betterrelationships.
 People withgoodself-esteemare more likelytoaskfor helpandsupportfromfriendsand
familywhentheyneedit.
 People whobelieve theycanaccomplishgoalsandsolve problemsare more likelytohave better
jobs, and to have more success in life.
 Havinggood self-esteemallowsyoutoaccept yourself andlive life tothe fullest.

Project Self-Esteem
ProjectSelf-Esteemactivitiesandmaterialsare designedtoraise yourself-esteem.Thisstudyguide isa
tool to helpyoudiscoveranduse yourstrengthsforsuccessful living.The lessonsinthisguide will help
youbecome more confident,relatebettertoothers,andgaingreater control of your life.
ProjectSelf-Esteemintegratesself-esteemanddailylivingskills. Inotherwords,thisstudyguide
concentratesonbuildingself-esteemforthe everydayworldof social interaction,employment,learning
and family.Eachlessonusesaproblem-solvingapproachtohelpyouovercome areasof low self-
esteem.
The Six Building Blocks of Self-Esteem
How we view ourselves (self-concept) and the way others view us or we think others regard
us (self-image) are the twin faces of self-esteem.
Positive self-esteemisbasedonsix buildingblocks(three "C's"andthree "I's"):
 Confidence(the belief thatwe canreach ourgoals)
 Competence(the belief thatwe possessthe knowledge and skillstoreachourgoals)
 Control(the beliefthatwe can manage our livestoreachour goals)
 Initiative (the belief thatyouhave a sense of purpose andcan take actionto solve problems)
 Integrity (the beliefthatyoucan act according to yourvaluesandprinciples)
 Intimacy (the belief thatyoucan establishbondsof friendshipandlove withothers).

Write real life example for each of the building blocks
Confidence (example: asking for a pay raise)
Competence
Control
Initiative
Integrity
Intimacy

Self Esteem Survey
Directions:Thisself-esteemsurveywillhelpyoubetterunderstandyourself.Tocomplete the survey,
followthe directionsbelow.
Readeach statementcarefully.
 Decide whetheryoustronglyagree,somewhatagree,ordisagree witheachstatement.Puta
checkunderthe columnthatbestfitshow you feel abouteachstatement.
 There are noright or wronganswers,sodon't take too muchtime to mark yourresponse.Trust
your firstreaction.Whenyouare finished,youandyourinstructorwill score thistogether.
Statement Somewhat
Agree
Agree Disagree
1 . My life lacks purpose and direction.
2. I feel I'm not in control of what happens to me.
3. I tend to say yes when I really want to say no.
4. I set goals and stick to them.
5. Most people like me and enjoy being around me.
6. I have a positive outlook on life.
7. 1 believe I can cope with whatever happens to me.
8. I have trouble making up my mind.
9. I feel good about my appearance
10. I state my needs and feelings without putting others
down.

Statement Somewhat
Agree
Agree Disagree
11. It's hard for me to relax and not worry so much.
12. My problems seemoverwhelming to me.
13. I tend to depend on others for my happiness.
14. I'm good at solving problems.
15. Most people respect and value my opinion.
16. I find it easy to say good things about myself
17. I believe people are basically honest.
18. 1 don't feel that I'm successful.
19. I have difficulty standing up for myself
20. I try to take good care of my health.
21. It's hard for me to express love and caring.
22. I'm an energetic person.
23. I can talk to people without feeling nervous.
24. I feel my life has meaning.
25. It's hard for me to meet new people.

ANSWER KEY: SELF ESTEEM SURVEY
Statement Somewhat
Agree
Agree Disagree
1 . My life lacks purpose and direction. 1 2 3
2. 1 feel I'm not in control of what happens to me. 1 2 3
3. I tend to say yes when I really want to say no. 1 2 3
4. I set goals and stick to them. 3 2 1
5. Most people like me and enjoy being around me. 3 2 1
6. I have a positive outlook on life. 3 2 1
7. I believe I can cope with whatever happens to me. 3 2 1
8. I have trouble making up my mind. 1 2 3
9. I feel good about my appearance. 3 2 1
10. I state my needs and feelings without putting others
down.
3 2 1
11. It's hard for me to relax and not worry so much. 1 2 3
12. My problems seemoverwhelming to me. 1 2 3
13. I tend to depend on others for my happiness. 1 2 3
14. I'm good at solving problems. 3 2 1
15. Most people respect and value my opinion. 3 2 1
16. I find it easy to say good things about myself 3 2 1
17. I believe people are basically honest. 3 2 1
18. I don't feel that I'm successful. 1 2 3
19. I have difficulty standing up for myself 1 2 3
20. I try to take good care of my health. 3 2 1
21. It's hard for me to express love and caring. 1 2 3

Statement Somewhat
Agree
Agree Disagree
22. I'm an energetic person. 3 2 1
23. I can talk to people without feeling nervous. 3 2 1
24. I feel my life has meaning. 3 2 1
25. It's hard for me to meet new people. 1 2 3
INSTRUCTIONS FOR SCORING: The Self Esteem Survey
1. Referto the answerkeyto determine the pointvalue of eachresponse (forexample,if the learner
markedthe box under"Disagree"foritem# 1, thenthree pointswouldbe awarded).
2. Enter the total numberof pointsearnedforitems1-25.TOTAL SCORE:___
3. Compare the total score withthe guidelinesbelow.Itemsearning1pointonthe Surveyindicate low
self-esteem;itemsearning2pointsindicate moderate self-esteem;itemsearning3pointsindicate high
self-esteem.
POINTS
SELF
ESTEEM
RECOMMENDATION
60-75 HIGH
Learnerisconfidentandcompetentindailylivingactivities.Considerusing
thisindividualasa peerinstructor.
45-59 MODERATE
Learnerexperiencesoccasionalproblemsincertaindailylivingactivities.
Identifyparticularsituationsthatpresentdifficultyanddeveloplessonplans
usingrole playingandproblem-solvingmethods.
0-44 LOW
Learnerhas poorself-esteemandlacksconfidence tosucceedindailyliving
activities.Lessonsshouldaddresseachlife domainusingpositive self-talk,
visualization,androle playingexercisestoraise self-esteem.
Itemsearning1 pointshouldbe the initial focusof effortstoimprove self-esteem. Instructionsshould
beginwiththose itemsearning1point,followedbyitemsearning2 points.Beginbyaskingthe learner
to explainwhyhe/she markeditemsearning1or 2 points.Lookfor particularsituationsortypesof
individualsthatpose problemsforthe learner.

Session Three: What Challenges Self Esteem?
Thinkaboutthe following questions. Write youranswersandshare withyourlearningpartner.
How dowe buildgoodself-esteem?Whatcanchallenge ourself-esteem?
What one thingwouldyouchange if you could?Why?
Self- Worth Project
Watch the The Self-WorthProject3:51
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szi0fJxpwOI
Thinkabouta situationwhere yourself-esteemischallenged.
How youfeel,orhowyouthinkothersperceive youinthatsituation?
Thinkaboutyour bestqualities.
What do otherstell youisyourbestquality? Write ithere.

Identify troubling conditions or situations
Thinkaboutthe conditionsorsituationsthatseemtodeflateyourself-esteem.Commontriggersmight
include:
 A job interview
 A crisis at work or home
 A challenge with a spouse, loved one, co-worker or other close contact
 A change in life circumstances, such as a job loss or a child leaving home
Project Self-Esteem: Challenging Situations Checklist
Specific troubling conditions or situations may present special problems for someone with low
self-esteem. The statements in this checklist describe a variety of daily living situations that
might be difficult for you. Follow these steps in completing the checklist below.
 Read and think about each statement below.
 Decide if the statement describes a situation that is a problem for you.
 Ask yourself where and when this problem arises. Put a check in the blank under each
area - home, work, learning, or social setting - in which the problem occurs.
Statement Home Work Learning Social Setting
1. Lettingotherstake advantage of me
2. Trustingothers.
3. ExpressinghowIreallyfeel.
4. Feelingconfidentaboutmyabilitytocope.
5. DecidingwhatI believe.
6. Beingunderstoodbyothers.
7. Figuringoutwhat I wantto accomplishinlife.

Statement Home Work Learning Social Setting
8. Making a good impression.
9. Having a positive outlookonlife.
10. Findingsupportwhenthingsgowrong.
11. Controllingmyemotions.
12. Beingflexible.
13. Gainingrespectandapproval of others.
14. Relaxingandmanagingstress.
15. Establishingboundaries.
16. Feelingsafe andsecure.
17. Listeningcarefullytoothers.
18. Takingcare of mymental andphysical health.
19. Gettingalongwithothers.
20. Discoveringmytalentsandstrengths.

Improving Self-Esteem
Watch thisshort Video
10 Tipsto Improve Self-Esteem9:35
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc-B536E6MY
Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking
Once you've identifiedtroublingconditionsorsituations,payattentiontoyourthoughtsaboutthem.
Thisincludesyourself-talk— whatyoutell yourself — andyourinterpretationof whatthe situation
means.Your thoughtsandbeliefsmightbe positive,negative orneutral.Theymightbe rational,based
on reasonor facts,or irrational,basedonfalse ideas.
Your initial thoughtsmightnotbe the onlypossible wayto view asituation — sotestthe accuracy of
your thoughts. Ask yourself whether yourview is consistent with facts and logicor whether
other explanations for the situation might be plausible.
Be aware that it'ssometimestoughtorecognize inaccuracies inthinking,though.Mostpeople have
automatic,long-standingwaysof thinkingabouttheirlivesandthemselves.These long-heldthoughts
and beliefscanfeel normal andfactual,butmanyare actuallyjustopinionsorperceptions.
Pay attention to thought patterns that tend to erode self-esteem:
All-or-nothing thinking.Yousee thingsaseitherall goodorall bad. For example,"If Idon'tsucceedin
thistask,I'm a total failure."
Mental filtering.Yousee onlynegativesanddwell onthem, distorting yourview of apersonor
situation.Forexample,"Imade a mistake onthatreportand now everyone willrealize I'mnotupto this
job."

Converting positives into negatives.Yourejectyourachievementsandotherpositiveexperiencesby
insistingthattheydon'tcount.For example,"Ionlydidwell onthattestbecause itwasso easy."
Jumping to negative conclusions.Youreacha negative conclusionwhenlittleornoevidence
supportsit.For example,"Myfriendhasn'trepliedtomyemail,soImust have done somethingtomake
herangry."
Mistaking feelings for facts.You confuse feelingsorbeliefswithfacts.Forexample,"Ifeel like a
failure,soImust be a failure."
Self-put-downs.Youundervalue yourself,putyourself downoruse self-deprecatinghumor.Thiscan
resultfromoverreactingtoa situation,suchasmakinga mistake.Forexample,"Idon'tdeserveanything
better."
Adjust your thoughts and beliefs
Nowreplace negative orinaccurate thoughtswithaccurate,constructive thoughts.Trythese strategies:
Use hopeful statements.Treatyourself withkindnessandencouragement.Pessimismcanbe a self-
fulfillingprophecy.Forexample,if youthinkyour presentationisn'tgoingtogowell,youmightindeed
stumble throughit.Trytellingyourself thingssuchas,"Eventhoughit'stough,I can handle this
situation."
Forgive yourself.Everyone makesmistakes — andmistakesaren'tpermanentreflectionson youasa
person.They're isolatedmomentsintime.Tell yourself,"Imade amistake,butthat doesn'tmake me a
bad person."
Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements.If youfindthatyourthoughtsare full of these words,you
mightbe puttingunreasonable demandsonyourself — oron others.Removingthese wordsfromyour
thoughtscan leadto more realisticexpectations.

Focus on the positive.Thinkaboutthe good partsof yourlife.Remindyourselfof thingsthathave
gone well recently.Considerthe skills you've usedtocope withchallengingsituations.
Re-label upsetting thoughts.Youdon'tneedtoreact negativelytonegative thoughts.Instead,think
of negative thoughtsassignalstotrynew,healthypatterns.Askyourself,"WhatcanI thinkand do to
make thislessstressful?"
Encourage yourself.Give yourselfcreditformakingpositive changes.Forexample,"Mypresentation
mightnot have beenperfect,butmycolleaguesaskedquestionsandremainedengaged — whichmeans
that I accomplishedmygoal."
These stepsmightseemawkwardatfirst,butthey'll geteasierwithpractice.Asyoubegintorecognize
the thoughtsand beliefsthatare contributingtoyourlow self-esteem, youcanactivelycounterthem —
whichwill helpyouacceptyourvalue asa person.Asyourself-esteemincreases,yourconfidence and
sense of well-beingare likelytosoar.
Characteristics Of Self Esteem
People with high self-esteemshare similar characteristics. The same is true for those for low
self-esteem. The following statements compare and contrast low and high self-esteem. The
middle column identifies the particular self-esteembuilding block illustrated by the statement.
Step1: Circle the highor low self-esteemstatement that most closely describes
your current situation.
HIGH SELF ESTEEM BUILDING
BLOCK
LOW SELF ESTEEM
1. My life has purpose and
direction.
INITIATIVE It seems that my life lacks purpose and
direction.
2. I feel that I'm in control of what
happens to me.
CONTROL I feel that I have no control over what
happens to me.
3. I say "yes" when I mean "yes" INTEGRITY I tend to say "yes" when I really want

BLOCK
LOW SELF ESTEEM
and "no" when I mean "no". to say "no".
4. I set goals and stick to them. INITIATIVE I have trouble setting goals and sticking
to them.
5. Most people like me and enjoy
being around me.
INTIMACY It seems that most people don't like me
and try to avoid me.
6. I have a positive outlook on life. INITIATIVE I tend to see the worst in life.
7. I believe that I can cope with
whatever happens to me
COMPETENCE I don't feel that I can cope with
whatever life brings.
8. I have little difficulty making up
my mind.
CONFIDENCE It's hard for me to make up my mind.
9. I am satisfied with who I am and
how I look.
INTEGRITY I don't feel good about who I am and
how I look.
10. I state my needs and feelings
without attacking others
CONTROL I tend to attack others when stating
how I feel and what I need.
11. I am able to relax and not worry
too much
CONTROL It's hard for me to relax and not worry
too much about things.</T
12. My problems are manageable. CONFIDENCE My problems seemoverwhelming.
13. I rely on my inner qualities for
happiness.
INTEGRITY I tend to depend on others for my
happiness.
14. I'm good at solving problems. COMPETENCE I feel that I'm not good at solving
problems.
15. Most people respect and value
my opinion.
INTIMACY It seems that most people don't
respect me or value my opinion.
16. I find it easy to say good things
about myself
CONFIDENCE It's difficult for me to say good things
about myself
17. People are basically honest and
good.
INTEGRITY People are mostly dishonest and
untrustworthy.
18. I feel that I'm successful at what COMPETENCE I don't feel successful in life.

BLOCK
LOW SELF ESTEEM
I do.
19. I stand up for what I believe. INTEGRITY I tend to let people "run over" me.
20. 1 take good care of my health. COMPETENCE I tend to neglect my health.
21. It's easy for me to express love
and caring.
INTIMACY It's difficult for me to express love and
caring,
22. 1 am energetic. INITIATIVE I lack energy.
23. 1 can talk to people without
feeling nervous.
INTIMACY I find it hard to talk to people without
getting nervous.
24. My life has meaning. INITIATIVE My life has no meaning.
25. I like to meet new people. INTIMACY It's hard for me to meet new people.
These statementsshouldgive youaclearpicture of where yourchallengeswithself-confidence andself-
esteemare. Workingwithyourinstructoror yourlearningpartner,youcandevelopalesson planfor
any of the statementslisted. Or you maychoose to workon one buildingblockata time.

Identifying Building Blocks and Life Areas for Work
Part I
Reviewthe lastactivity. Chooseastatementfromeachbuildingblock thatyouwouldliketoaddress
duringthe remainderof thiscourse. Foreach life domainchecked, yourinstructormay askyouto give
specificexamplesof howandwhenthe statementposesaproblem.
1. Which life area is most affected?
Part II
Tallythe numberof characteristicstatementsforeachcircle onthe Low Self Esteemside of the chartin
the activityonpage 12-13. Enter thisnumberintothe correspondingfirstcolumnof the table below.
Thiswill give youaclue about whichbuilding blocksneedthe mostattentionandwhichbuildingblocks
youare alreadydoingwell with.
SELF-ESTEEM
BUILDING BLOCKS
SOCIAL EMPLOYMENT LEARNING FAMILY
CONFIDENCE
#=_____
COMPETENCE
#=_____
CONTROL
#=_____

INITIATIVE
#=_____
INTEGRITY
#=______
INTIMACY
#=_______
Part III
Lookingat eachBuildingBlockandthinkingaboutthe statementsyouidentified inPartI,go back to the
chart on page 21 and write apersonal goal ineach of the life areas(Social,Employment,Learningor
Family. Forexample,if youchose the statement“It'sdifficultforme tosay goodthingsaboutmyself”,
your entrymightlooklike this:
SELF-ESTEEM
BUILDING BLOCKS
CONFIDENCE
#5
Not putmyself
downinfront of
friends.
Make sure my
bossknowswhenI
have done a good
job.
Not call myself
stupidor dumb.
Encourage my
childto accept
compliments.

Reflect
1. How you can use this information to your best benefit.
2. Identify how you can utilize your strengths .
3. Think about how you can improve on weaknesses.

Project Self-Esteem: Lesson Plans
You shouldnowhave a prettygoodideaof which Characteristics of Self Esteemand Self-Esteem
BuildingBlocks presentachallenge inyourlife. The following chart shows a listing of lesson plans
available to the instructor of this course. (Instructor: refer to Project Self-Esteem Introduction
in the handouts and resources packet)
SELF-ESTEEM
BUILDING BLOCKS
CONFIDENCE Developpositive
attitude eachday
Presentpositive
image forjob
interview
Prepare tomeet
your child's
teacher
Instill confidence
inyour child
COMPETENCE Meetemotional
needs
Work as a team
membertosolve
problems
Improve your
readingskills
Helpyourchild
withhomework
CONTROL Manage behavior Manage time Setgoalsfor
learning
Resolve family
conflict
INITIATIVE Become assertive maintainsense of
purpose
Seekhelptoraise
skills
Builda support
systemforyour
family
INTEGRITY Behave according
to principles
Determine
job/careerchoice
accordingto
values
Learn aboutbelief
systems
Helpyourchild
developasa
unique person
INTIMACY Buildrelationships Value andrespect
fellow workers
Become a
volunteerinyour
child'sschool
Show love and
caring foryour
child

Directions for the Instructor:
Workingwiththe participant,use thisinformationtodetermine possible lessons.Refertoexisting
lesson(inthe appropriate life domain) ordesignalessonusingthe blankproblemsolvingformat.
Incorporate positive self-talk,role playing,andvisualizationintothe lessonstostrengthenself-esteem.
(Refer to Project Self-Esteem Lesson Plans)
For the Learner
If you experience supportandsuccessinyourdailyliving,there isagreaterlikelihoodthatyouwill
developapositive self-image.Thisworkbookprovidesavarietyof exercisestocreate a more confident,
competent,andself-reliantperson. Yourinstructormayprovide additional lessonplansbasedupon
your individual surveyresults.
Example: Lesson Plan for Problem Solving
Problemsolvingisakeyskill,andit'sone that can make a huge difference toyour life you’re your
career.At work and at home,problemsare atthe centerof whatmany people doeveryday.You're
solvingaproblemfora familymemberora customer (internal orexternal),supportingthose whoare
solvingproblems,ordiscoveringnewproblemstosolve.
The problemsyouface can be large or small,simpleorcomplex,andeasyordifficulttosolve.Regardless
of the nature of the problems,afundamentalpartof everyperson’s role inlifeisfindingwaystosolve
them.So,beinga confidentproblemsolverisreallyimportanttoyoursuccess.
Much of that confidence comesfromhavingagoodprocessto use whenapproachingaproblem.With
one,youcan solve problemsquicklyandeffectively.Withoutone,yoursolutionsmaybe ineffective,or
you'll getstuckand do nothing,withsometimespainfulconsequences.

The Basic Steps In Problem Solving Strategy:
 Describe the situation
 Analyze the situation
 Identify the desiredoutcome
 Determine asolutiontothe problem
 Generatingalternatives
 Evaluatingandselectingalternatives
 Implementingsolutions
 Evaluatingthe successof the plan
 Decidinghowtocelebrate success
These problemsolvingstepsmaybe appliedtosolvinganytype of problem, includingresolvingsocial
tasks,like developingapositive attitude everyday.Inthisexample,astudentnamedJoyce hasdecided
to developa‘lessonplan’usingthe problemsolvingstrategy.
Develop A Positive Attitude Each Day
Domain:Social Tasks
LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVING
TOPICDevelopaPositive Attitude EachDay
Step1: DESCRIBE THE SITUATION
What ishappening?
 Joyce claims that she begins each day feeling depressed and irritated, lacking
energy, and expecting the worst to happen.
Step 2: ANALYZE THE SITUATION
Why is this a problem?
 Joyce has difficulty showing love and caring, maintaining emotional health, and
doing her best on the job.
Who does this problem affect?
 Family members, co-workers, and friends/acquaintances.
How are people affected by the problem?

 Family members may not receive nurturing and affirmation;
Co-workers may experience problems getting along with Joyce;
Friends/acquaintances may avoid interacting with Joyce.
Step 3: IDENTIFY THE DESIRED OUTCOME
What is my goal concerning this problem?
 To begin each day with a positive attitude.
Step 4: DETERMINE A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM
What are my options to solve this problem?
 Joyce’s responses varied. Her options may include seeking intensive therapy,
becoming a social recluse, or attempting to change her attitude through self-
improvement.
Which option is best to solve this problem?
 Joyce decided she should use positive self-talk to improve her attitude.
Step 5: DEVELOP A PLAN TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM
What resources will be needed to implement the plan?
 1. Notebook and pen or pencil;
2. 3/5 index cards; and
3. A recording device to be used to record positive self-talk statements.
What steps are included in the plan?
 1. Review differences between positive and negative self-esteem;
2. Learn and practice positive self-talk guidelines;
3. Develop a plan of action for each day in advance; and
4. Evaluate effectiveness of performance.
What is the time line for my plan?
 One Month
 How will I know if my plan is successful?
 1. Joyce follows self-talk guidelines;
2. Daily plan of action is developed;
3. Fewer incidents of depression and irritation are reported; and
4. Joyce receives positive feedback from others.
Step 6: IMPLEMENT THE PLAN
Step 7: EVALUATE THE SUCCESS OF THE PLAN
Is the plan working? Why, or why not.
 Does Joyce believe that she is making progress? Is Joyce more energetic and
productive at home and work?
 Does the plan need revision? If so, how?

 How has this problem and the solution affected Joyce’s self-esteem?
 Does Joyce understand the role of positive attitude in helping her cope with the
challenges of daily living? Does Joyce feel better about herself?
Step 8: DECIDE HOW TO CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS
What will I do to reward myself for dealing with this problem?
 Joyce discussed this plan with her husband and they agreed that they would go to a
movie at the end of one month if progress has been noted.
Joyce used several tools for accomplishing her goal. The rest of this study guide is devoted
to an exploration of tools for developing good self-esteem. You may decide to use all of the
tools or only a few of them.

Blank Lesson Plan For Problem Solving
TOPIC
Step 1: DESCRIBE THE SITUATION
 What is happening?
Step 2: ANALYZE THE SITUATION
 Why is this a problem?
 Who does this problem affect?
 How are people affected by the problem?
Step 3: IDENTIFY THE DESIRED OUTCOME
 What is my goal concerning this problem?
Step 4: DETERMINE A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM
 What are my options to solve this problem?
 Which option is best to solve this problem?
Step 5: DEVELOP A PLAN TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM
 What resources will be needed to implement the plan?
 What steps are included in the plan?
 What is the timeline for my plan?
 How will I know if my plan is successful?
Step 6: IMPLEMENT THE PLAN
Step 7: EVALUATE THE SUCCESS OF THE PLAN
 Is the plan working? Why or why not.
 Does the plan need revision? If so, how?
 How has this problem and my solution affected my self-esteem?
Step 8: DECIDE HOW TO CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS
 What will I do to reward myself for dealing with this problem?

Session Four: How the Brain Works
BuildingSelf-esteemisaninside job.Simplyput, self-esteem is a reflection of what you think and
how you feel about yourself.
It isnot aboutyour gradesinschool or the degreesyouhave,yourrelationships,yourbankbalance,the
car youdrive or yourjobtitle.
Positive self-esteemis:
 meetinglife'schallengesandnotfeelingvictimized
 takingresponsibilityforyourthoughts,wordsandactions
 makingconsciouschoicestoempower&love yourself
Justas a muscle requiresregularexercise tomaintainits’strengthandflexibilityyourpositiveself-
esteembrainpathways are fortifiedbyspecificself-esteemexercisesand Activities.
Brain Pathways
The brain ismade up of cellscalledneurons.These cellshave nerveendingscalledsynapsesand
dendrites.Nerve endingsreleasechemicalandelectrical stimulitocommunicate witheachother.This
braincommunicationformsneuro-pathwaysinthe brainandis the basisforhow the brainworks.
Whenyouinitiallylearnsomethingthe pathwayorconnectionisweak.The more frequentlyyouthinka
particularthoughtthe strongerthe pathwaybecomes,forminganautomatichabitof thinking.We call
thisbraintraining.
Nowthat youunderstandhowthe brainworkslet'stake a lookat an example:
Learning to Ride a Bike
At firstyoumustpay attentiontostayingbalanced,keepingyoureyesonthe road,holdingontothe
handlebarsandsteeringinyourdesireddirection.Thenthe more youpractice,the strongeryourbicycle
ridingpathwaysbecome.

Eventuallyyouare able togeton your bike andride withoutthinking.You're operatingonautomatic.A
strongbrain pathwayhasbeencreatedas thoughnew brain software hasbeenuploadedandis
seamlesslyoperatinginyourmind.
How Your Self-esteem is Formed
Your brainworksthe same wayin forminghow youthinkaboutyourself.Asachildyourthoughtsabout
yourself are formedfromthe messagesyou’ve heard andbelievedfromimportantandinfluential
people inyourlife.
For example,if youwere continuallymade funof byclassmatesandnotinvitedtoplaywiththemwhen
youwere a child,youhave probablydevelopedalow self-esteemthoughtpattern regardingfriendsand
social situations.Asaresult,asan adult,obsessivethinkingreflectingthesepatterns,mayautomatically
surface insocial gatheringswhere youexperience anxiety,fearandnervousnessbasedonthoughtslike:
- People don’tlikeme
- I wasonlyinvitedbecause theyhadto
- Nobody’sgoingtotalkto me
- I don’tknowwhatto say
These beliefsare whatwe call yourdominantthoughtpattern.Theyoperate onautomatic,like ahabit,
and are the thoughtsthattrigger,consciouslyor unconsciouslyyourfeelingsandreactionstothe
circumstancesof yourlife.
Good News: Thought Patterns Can Be Changed!
Whenyoubecome aware of whatyouare thinkingandfeeling,youcanchoose andpractice usingnew
thoughtsandbehaviors.Withpractice,yournew thoughtswill becomeyourdominate thoughts
replacingoldpatternsof thinking.

Our techniques,exercisesandtipsare designedtoteachyouhow to developnew brainpathwaysto
buildyourself-esteemandincrease yourconfidence.
Remember:Tocreate newthoughtpatternsrequirespractice...like learningtoride abike.
Be patient.We are here to helpandsupportyou.Let's beginwithanexercise, toidentifythe messages
youlearnedasa child.
Watch thisshort videoonhowdamagingnegative thoughtsare andhow toget ridof them.
Belief SystemsandNegativeSelf-Talk3:33
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aa_AlJ8fx8

Session Five: What do I Believe?
How Baby Elephants Are Trained
Elephantsincaptivityare trained,atan earlyage,notto roam. One legof a baby
elephantistiedwitharope to a woodenpostplantedinthe ground.
The rope confinesthe babyelephanttoanarea determinedbythe lengthof the
rope.Initiallythe babyelephanttriestobreakfree fromthe rope,butthe rope is
too strong.
The baby elephant"learns"thatitcan't break the rope.
Whenthe elephant growsupand isstrong,it couldeasilybreakthe same rope.Butbecause it"learned"
that itcouldn'tbreak the rope whenitwas young,the adultelephantbelievesthatitstill can'tbreakthe
rope,so itdoesn'teventry!
Humansoperate ina similarway.We learnedsomethingaboutourselvesatanearlyage andstill believe
it as an adult.Eventhoughitmay not be true,we operate as if itis.
Fortunately,humansare bornwiththe abilitytomake consciouschoices - animportantstepinchanging
howyou perceive yourself.
Nowuse the What I Believe Activityto uncoverthe beliefsyoulearnedwhenyouwere youngthat
continue toinfluenceyourself-esteem.Thenaskyourself if thesebeliefssupportorhinderyouin
increasingyourself-esteem
LimitingBeliefs - RemovingLimitingBeliefsThatHoldYouBack 1:41
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiwD3HbuKVA

Activity: What I Believe
1. Write the beliefs you learned about yourself when you were young from your:
 Mother:
 Father:
 Siblings:
 Friends:
 Teachers:
 Others:
2. Which of these messagescontinuetodominate yourthoughtstoday?
3. Which messagessupportandwhichmessagesdetractyou’re yourconfidence,happinessand
satisfaction?
4. Are these messagestruthorsimplyabelief (athoughtthathasbeenthoughtsooftenthatyou
believeitistruth)?
5. Which messages doyouwantto change to improve yourself-esteem?
6. Write the newthoughtsyouchoose tobelieve tosupportyourpositiveself-esteem, confidence and
happiness:

Session Six: Learning to Love Yourself
Lovingyourself isarequiredconditionfor buildingself-esteem, boostingself-confidenceand
transforminglowself-esteem.
Lovingyourself isnotanindicationof arrogance,vanity,narcissismorself-importance.Actuallyitisjust
the opposite,lovingyourself isanexpressionof respect,appreciationandgratitude forthe magnificent,
creative andglorioushumanbeingyouare.
Think about this:Have youeverexperiencedasense of awe,delightandwonderinthe presence of a
newbornorinfant.Theyare a bundle of love - bringingasmile toyourface just bybeingintheir
presence.
Theyare filledwithcuriosity - astheydiscovertheirfingersandtoesandthenthe worldaroundthem.
You were once like this - whole inbody-mind-spirit.Free of judgmentsaboutyourself.Lovingyourself.
Then as you began to grow up you learned, through your parents, teachers, friends, the
media, etc. how to view yourself.
If your parentswere abusive,physicallyoremotionally,youcame tobelievethatthere wassomething
wrongwithyou.If the mediaportrayed beauty,intelligenceandsuccessina particularwayand youdid
not measure upto those limitedstandardsyoucame tobelieve thatyouwere notenoughandyourself-
esteem,diminished.
You were programmed to believe that you were unworthy of love, happiness and peace in
your life. You were programmed to have low self-esteem.
While lowself-esteemleavesyoufeelingvictimizedbythe circumstancesof yourlife andhasyou
continuouslyjudgingandcomparingyourself toother....there isgoodnews.Youcanupgrade the
software of yourmind.You can buildyourself-esteem,boostyourself-confidenceandyes,Love
Yourself.

The startingplace is to create new brainpathways basedonthoughtsaboutyourself thatsupport
buildingself-esteemandboostingself-confidence.
Practice expandingyourcapacityforself-loveby completingthe followingactivities.
How To Love Yourself Activity
Instructions:
Thisis nota listof whatyou like doing –it’sa listof whatyou honorand appreciate aboutyourself.If
youhave difficultywritingthislist,thenfocusonwhatyoulike doing.Forexample:If youlike ridinga
bicycle askyourself:Whatare the gifts,talents,skillsandabilitiesIdemonstrate throughthisactivity?
Your responsesmayinclude:myspiritof adventure,mystamina,myathleticabilities,etc.
Whenyouare feelinglowself-esteemandunhappyreadyourcompleted listaloudwhile looking ina
mirrorfocusingyourattentiononyourgifts,talents,skillsandabilities.Thenacknowledgeyourself for
re-focusingyourattentiononlovingyourself.Thennotice yourattitude change.
1. List what you honor and appreciate about yourself - your gifts, talents, skills and abilities.
Here are some questions to consider while making your list:
a. What do I appreciate about who I am?
b. What are my strengths?
c. What do my friends appreciate about me?
d. What do I like about others? Which of these characteristics do I have?
e. How would people who love me describe me?

When you've completed your list, read it aloud while looking in a mirror.
a. Begin each statement with the words, (Your Name), I love your. . . (Joan, I love your sense of
humor! Joan, I love your willingness to help others!)
b. Begin each statement with the words, I love my . . . (I love my commitment to feeling good
about myself! I love my openness to learn new things!)

Toot Your Horn Activity
Use: Toot Your Horn Activityto boostconfidence byexploringandidentifyingwhatmakesyourfeel
good.Regularremindersof these,createsnewbrain pathways and strengthensyourself-esteem
muscle.
 Complete the followingstatements.If youcannotansweran item, don'tworry - simplycomplete
whatyou can.
 KeepyourcompletedSelf EsteemSelf-StudyGuide handy.The nexttime you're feelinglow self-
esteemandneedaself-esteemboostreadyourToot Your Horn worksheetandbe remindedof your
natural resourcesandpersonal power.
1. I like myself because:
2. I'm an expertat:
3. I feel goodabout:
4. My friendswouldtellyouIhave a great:
5. My favorite place is:
6. I'm lovedby:
7. People sayI am a good:
8. I've beentoldIhave pretty:
9. I considermyself agood:

10. What I enjoymostis:
11. The personI admire the mostis:
12. I have a natural talentfor:
13. goalsfor myfuture are:
14. I knowI will reachmygoalsbecause I am:
15. People complimentme about:
16. I feel goodwhenI:
17. I've beensuccessful at:
18. I laughwhenIthinkabout:
19. The traits I admire myself forare:
20. I feel peaceful when:

Create a Pleasure List
Complete the Pleasure ListActivitytomake alistof the people,places,thingsandactivitiesthatbring
youpleasure whenyouthinkaboutthemorwhenyoudo them.
The nexttime youare feelinglowself-esteem, unhappyandare judgingyourself andothersharshlyread
your Pleasure Listand focusyour attentiononimaginingaparticularitemonthe listor doinga specific
activityonthe list.Thenmake note of anyattitude change.
Shiftingyourfocus,evenforamoment,tosomethingthatyouenjoysendsaclearmessage toyour brain
that says:“I deserve happiness.”“Iamin control of my thoughtsandfeelings.”Whenyoupractice this
activityyoustrengthenyourself-esteemmuscle.
1. Make of Listof the people andpetswhobringa smile toyourface whenyouthinkof them:
2. Make a Listof the placesthat bringa smile toyourface whenyouthinkof them:
3. Make a listof the thingsthat bringa simile toyourface whenyou thinkof them:
4. Make a listof the thingsyoulike todo that bringyoupleasure:

Self Confidence Activity
Whenyour confidence islow,howdoyoureact?Do you:
 Blame others?
 Withdraw?
 Get angry?
 Cry?
Thisself-esteemactivitygivesyouthe toolstotransformuncomfortableandpainful situationsallowing
youto feel powerfulandconfident.
The more youpractice it, the more timesyouwill strengthenyourself-esteemmuscle.
Instructions: Use the SelfConfidence Activitytoexplore andidentifywhatmakesyoufeel goodand
bad.
Complete the following statements.
The next time you're feeling low self-esteemand need a self-esteemboost read your Self
Confidence worksheet and be reminded of your personal power and use it to transform
situations in which you feel less confident..
PART ONE
Think of a situation in which you experienced confidence and a feeling of satisfaction and self-
worth. Answer the following questions.
1. What isthe situation?
2. What do yousay to yourself aboutthe situation(self-talk)?
3. How doyou feel physically?Whatsensationsandfeelingsdoyouhave inyourbody?
4. What do youdo as a resultof this?

PART TWO
Think of a current situation in which you experienced a lack of confidence that you would like to
change if you could.
1. What is the situation?
2. What do you say to yourself about the situation (self-talk)
3. How do you feel physically? What sensations and feelings do you have in your body?
4. What do you do as a result of this?
PART THREE
Look at Part Two and using the information that you have learned about yourself in Part One,
ask yourself - When I am in this situation:
1. What positive statement could I say to myself to be reminded of my power?
2. What could I do that would help me feel differently? (For example, create a visualization in
which I remember how I felt in Part One)
3. What could I do differently, next time I am in this situation? What actions would empower
me?

Session Seven: Choose to be Grateful!
By cultivatinggratitude,youbeginacycle thatactuallyattracts healthy self-esteem,apositiveattitude
and goodthingsintoyourlife.Nomatterwhoyouare, whatcircumstancesyouare facing,or how
overwhelminglife mayseemattimes,there are alwaysreasonstobe thankful.Whenyoulive yourlife
withan attitude of thankfulness,youbegintosee yourselfandthe worldina differentlight.
Whenyouacknowledge WhatIsRight In My Life, you experience greaterjoy,confidence,andtrustin
your abilitytosuccessfullymeetanddeal withthe challengesof life.Problemsdonotseemas
overwhelmingwhenyoutake afewmomentseachdayto count yourblessingsandappreciate those
whoenrichyour lives.
The Powerof Gratitude 2:47
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5sSB2bVCsE
Begincultivatinggratitudebymakingagratitude listandreadit regularlyasa remindertobe thankful
everyday.Researchhasshownthatpeople whopractice gratitude everydayare healthierandhappier.
What are you grateful for?
Directions for Using a Gratitude List
Get startedby pickingitemsfromthe list belowthatreflectwhatyouare grateful foror create your own
list. Readyour listaloud,slowlyandactuallyfeelinggrateful.
Notice howyoufeel,whenyoumake the time forcultivatinggratitude.Forexample, youmightnote
that whenyoufocuson the itemsonyour gratitude listyourenergychanges.Yourmindslowsdown,
your breathdeepens,yourself-esteemisenhancedandyou embodyapositive attitude.Youcannow
connectto your heart-centeredessence feelingcalm, peaceful andrelaxed.

A daily practice of cultivating gratitude, can transform your thoughts and as a result enrich
your life.
I am grateful for….
 A roof overmy head.I am thankful thatI have a home to live inanda safe place to laymy head
at night.
 Clothing.Iam grateful thatI have clothestokeepme warmand dry,and shoesto protectmy
feet.Iam thankful thatI have several outfitstochoose fromsoI can feel comfortable,
confident,andbeautiful.
 Transportation.I am thankful thatI have a car so I can drive towork,the mall,orvisita friend.
 Friendsandcommunity.Iam thankful forthe groupsof people Iam connectedwith,the clubsI
participate inandthe charitiesIam able toserve.
 Food.I am grateful thatI have goodand healthyfoodtoeat and safe waterto drink.
 Freedom.Iam thankful thatI am alive andlive inafree country.
 My dreams.Iam thankful thatI have the freedomtodreamand to pursue those dreams
 My skillsandtalents.Iamthankful thatI have the skillsIneedtoread,write,anddo the workI
choose.
I am grateful forthose little thingsthatIoftentake forgranted,including:
 A breathtakingsunset
 My child’s laughter
 A mountaintop view
 Feeling the wind on my face and the warmth of the sun
 A rainbow
A gratitude lististhe perfectwaytobegincultivatinggratitudeinyourlife.Readitdailyandaddto it
regularly.Soon,beingthankful will come naturally,andyouwill begintoenjoyall the benefitsof alife
governedby gratitude.
If the only prayer you ever say in your life is,
"Thank You," it will be enough.
Meister Eckhart

Before you go to sleep each night, write a Gratitude List of five things you are
grateful for. Begin each item with the words: I am grateful. . .
1. I am grateful for my health.
2. I am grateful for my friendship with Joan.
3. I am grateful I am completing my gratitude list today!
4. I am grateful for Jody my walking buddy.
5. I am grateful for my IPhone!
Each day write down one item you have never before expressed appreciation for:
1. I am grateful for light bulbs.
2. I am grateful for the food choices in my local supermarket.
3. I am grateful for my comfortable bed.

Session Eight: Visualization
Why do visualization exercises produce results?
Have you everfoundyourself cryingwhilewatchingasadmovie,youknow itisnot real,butthe
impressionyourbrainisreceivingisreal anditproducestears.WHY?
Fact: Researchhas shownthatthe same neuro-pathwaysinthe brainare activatedwhenyouvividly
imagine experiencingsomethingaswhenyouactuallydoit.
Usingyour mindto create an image of what youwant createsa strongimpressiononthe brainand
helpsimprove performance andgetresults.
A waitresswhosays“Howabout a slice of our famoushotapple pie withscoopof our homemade vanilla
ice cream and toppedwithfreshdeliciouswhippedcream?”hasabetterchance of gettingthe dessert
orderthan a waitresswhosays“How aboutdessert?”
In the firstexample the waitressispaintingavividpicture inthe customer’smind.Thispicture activates
the customer’ssalivaryglandstoproduce a strongdesire forthe dessert.Didyousalivate asyouread
the firstwaitress’sdescriptionof the dessert?
Athletesapplythisprinciple whenimagininghavingwonacompetitionpriortothe actual event.
Olympicswimmers,likeMichael Phelps,imaginethemselvesswimmingwithwebbedhandsandfeetto
improve theirperformanceinthe water.
Justas visualizingadesiredresultcanmake yourmouthwaterand produce resultsforathletesitisa
proventool forsuccessto build,boostandimprove yourself-esteem.
Use the Powerof the Brain withCreative Visualization2:28
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3TskLIk3iM

Whenyouexperienceyourself fromthe inside outasconfident,successful,lovingandhappythose
feelingsare reflectedinwhatyousay,whatyou do andhow youfeel.Youradiate confidence –while
strengtheningyourhealthyself-esteembrainpathway.
Remember:Visualization is not about seeing yourself trying to succeed at some point in the
future. It is about picturing and experiencing, with the full resources of your imagination,
your desired results accomplished in the present moment.

Awareness-Choice-Change Model
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is
with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.
- Charles W. Swindoll
You can feel betterandlive ahappiermore satisfiedlife,nomatterwhatyourcircumstances if youapply
the Awareness-Choice-Change Modeltoyour life. Whenyoubecome aware of yourcurrent attitude
and understandhowyourthoughtsfuel ityouthenhave the opportunitytoconsciouslychoosenew
thoughtsthat resultintransformingyourfeelingsandyourlife.
By followingthe specifictechnique outlinedbelow youcanlearntobe the creative force inyourlife,
rather thanjustreactingto life’scircumstances.
Awareness- wakingupto yourthoughts,feelingsandbehaviors
Choice - consciouslychoosingthe thoughtsyouthink
Change - alteringyourthoughts,feelingsandactions
Awareness describesastate of consciousnessinwhichyouare alert,awake
and consciouslyaware of yourthoughts,feelings,wordsandactions.Since your
self-esteemisareflectionof whatyouthinkandhow youfeel aboutyourself it
isnecessarytobe aware of yourthoughtsand feelings.
Whenyounotice that yourhabitual self-talkisjudgmental aboutwhatyousay
and do;or critical regardingwhatyoushouldhave saidorwhat youdidn’tdo,thenyou are on your way
to upgradingthe software of yourmind – your thoughtsandultimatelyyourexperience.
Choice is the act of making a decision. To consciously choose the thoughts
that support your positive self-esteemand self-confidence you must be
aware of both your thoughts and feelings that detract from and support your
positive self-esteem.
Withthisawarenessyouwill notice whenyouare thinkingthoughts thatundermine

your self-esteem;aswell asbe aware of the thoughtsthatboost your self-esteem. A powerful question
to considerinorderto choose thoughtsandfeelingsthatpromote your self-esteemis:
What are the thoughtsandfeelingsthatsupport
positive self-esteemandconfidence?
Whenever you notice you are being critical and judgmental of yourself youcan make the choice
to strengthenyourbrain pathways thataffirmsyourpositiveself-esteembydeclaring:
I Am Confident!
Change iswhere the rubbermeetsthe road,where youputintopractice the
choicesyouhave made,transformingyourthoughtsandfeelingsaboutyourself so
youembodypositive self-esteemandconfidence.
Thisdoesnot meanthere won'tbe timeswhenyouare confrontedwithyourfearsof failure orsuccess,
or that youwon't, onoccasion,questionyourability.Whatitdoesmeanisthat as soon as younotice
youare feelinglessthan ornot enoughyouwill:
 Be awake to your feelings.
 Identify the thoughts that result in your feelings of low self-esteem.
 Shift your attention to thoughts supporting your ever deepening experience of
positive self-esteem.
Whenyounotice that yourhabitual self-talkisjudgmental aboutwhatyousayand do;or critical
regardingwhatyoushouldhave saidor whatyou didn’tdo,thenyouare on yourway toupgradingthe
software of yourmind – yourthoughts,yourattitude andultimatelyyourexperience.
By changingwhatyou are thinkinganddoingyouare automaticallygivingyourbrainamessage that
says,I am personwhois incontrol of mylife.Ichoose to change myattitude andchange my life!
You can lookat the presentmomentandview itwithdistaste,resistance anddissatisfactionorcanuse it
as a gatewayto make a differentchoice.

Session Nine: Harnessing the Power of The Law of
Attraction
The Law of Attraction
The Law of Attractionisworkinginyourlife rightnow.Thisisnot a new age concept,noris itsomething
that onlybeginsthe momentyouare aware of it. You can't decide towaituntil nextweektostartusing
the Law of Attractioninyourlife,asyoualreadyare,it isalreadyat workin yourlife.
It’sa hard conceptforsome to understand,yetitissimple initssimplicity.The easiestwaytodescribe
the meaningof The Law of attractionis to say:
"Like attracts Like"
What is The Law of Attraction?
The Law of Attractionisalreadyworkinginyourlife,andhasbeenworkinginyourlife fromthe
beginningof yourbirth. Accordingtoancientwisdom, The Law of Attractionisa Law whichisat work
justthe same as anyotherLaw, for example The Law of Gravity.If you jumpoff a highbuildingyouare
goingto hitthe ground,everytime,all the time (providingsome otherforce isnotpreventingthisfrom
happening)
The Law of Attraction is the same, and it says that "What is Like unto itself Attracts"
It is always working, all the time, regardless.
You may thinkthatyour life shouldnotbe the wayitis because youwouldnothave createditthat way,
so thisisevidence of the factthat there isno such Law of Attraction.Thinkagain; it’salwaysworkingall
the time.Youmay not have wantedthe PoorLifestyle withthe CrazyBosswhoworksyou to deatheach
day.But you alwaysgetwhatyou are (have been) thinkingabout.
If your predominantthoughtsare (were) of Lack,or how your Bossdoesnot payyou enoughandhow
difficultitistobuythings,andhow youhate Mr. Smithbecause he hasa goodjoband earnsmore,and
howthingsneverseemtoworkout foryou...

Thenyou will getmore of whatyou are thinkingabout.
Accordingto this law,everythingisavibration,andeverythingvibratesatacertainlevel,sowhile you
may nothave wishedthe lifestyle youhave,likeattractslike andsimilarvibrationsattractsimilar
vibrationssoyougetthe residual effectof whatyourpredominant thoughts have been.
Attracting
Most of the time,we attract by "default"ratherthanbydeliberatechoice.
We justsort of go throughour day, focusingonproblemsinourlife thatneedtobe solvedandthe
thingsthat donot feel goodtous. Soas this Law of Attractionisalwaysworkinginourlives,Byfocusing
on the problems,we are actuallyattractingmore problemsthatneedsolving.
If you begintothinkof yourself asa magnetthat pullstoitself everythingthatislike itself,thenyoucan
beganto see howthislawcan work to youradvantage.
Whether we are actually focused on using the law of attraction or not, we are ALWAYS
attracting to us what we are thinking about.
If we are thinkingaboutsomethingwe loveandenjoy,we are inthatmomentattractingmore thingsto
love andenjoy.If we are thinkingaboutthe lackand scarcity inour lives,theninthatmomentwe are
attractingmore examplesof lackandscarcity intoour lives.
It’s simple, It just is, and always has been.
We are more powerful attractorsthenmostof us realize,bysimplylivinginthe momentandenjoyingall
of it,we attract more of that to ourselves,whichincludesmore enjoyment,more choices,more
experiences.
Accordingto the Law of Attractionyougetwhat youthinkabout, andalwayswhat youare ‘feeling
about.’

Law of Attraction statements from the Ages
 Birdsof a featherflocktogether
 What yousow,you reap
 Whateveryouwantwantsyou
 As a man thinkit,sohe is
 Whetheryouthinkyoucan, or youthinkyou can't, youare alreadycorrect
 What youput out youget back
 Energyattracts like energy
 Everythingdrawstoitself thatwhichislike itself
 What comesaroundgoesaround
The quotes below are from some of the greatest thinkers of our time.
Our life is what our thoughts make it.”
~Marcus Aurelius~
“Change your thoughts, change your life.”
~James Allen~
“I will see it when I believe it.”
~Wayne Dyer~
“Whatever you create in your life you must first create in your imagination.”
~Tycho Photiou~
"As we increasingly master our perceptions, beliefs, and thought/feeling patterns, we
magnetically attract that which we most desire."
~Luanne Oakes~
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”
~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe~
"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make our world."
~Buddha~

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.”
~William Jennings Bryan~
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering
their attitudes of mind.".
~William James~
Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."
Buddhasaid: “All thatwe are isthe resultof whatwe have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil
thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a
shadow that never leaves him."
The thingto understandaboutthe Law of Attractioniswhetheryoubelieveitornot,understanditor
not,it isworkingrightnowin yourlife.
Feel the Vibe!
The law of attractionis aboutvibratingenergy.Everythinginthisworldismade upof atoms
continuouslyvibratingatdifferentspeeds.Itisa law of nature that everyatomof your bodyisin
constantmotionwhetheryouknowitor not- we are constantlyvibratingatanenergeticfrequency.
Thisenergyisa magneticattractingenergythatvibratesat the same frequency.Thinkof atuningfork.
Whenyoustrike a tuningforkand anothertuningfork,acrossthe room, iscalibratedtothe same
frequencyitwill automaticallyvibrate.
While itmaybe hard to notice yourownenergy,itiseasiertospotsomeone else'senergyor
VIBRATION. Have younoticedthatyougeta negative feelingbeingaroundsome people andapositive
feelingfromothers?Anddependingonthisfeelingyoueitherwanttobe around the personor you
don’t

What makes one person vibrate differently than another?
The answeris simple:Itistheirenergy –expressedastheirmood,attitude,emotionalstate orfeelings.
All beingsare eithervibratingpositive energyornegativeenergy.
Whenyouare feelingangry,disappointed,sad,upset,distressed,confused,fearful,anxiousorhurt–
and continue tofocusyourattentiononthe thoughts,wordsand actionsthatgenerate these feelings
youwill continue tofeed,nourishandexperience thesepainful feelings.
Whenyouare feelinghappy,excited,joyful,compassionate, kindandlovingandcontinue tofocusyour
attentiononthe thoughtsthatgenerate these feelingsyouwillcontinuetofeed,nourishandexperience
these satisfying,lovingandhappyfeelings.
Our feelingsare pure magneticenergy.Theyare constantlyflowingfromuseveryminute of the day.
How youfeel affectsthe magneticvibrationyouare sendingoutandwhatyou,consequently,attractto
yourself.
Unintentional Attraction
Oftenpeople attractnegative thingsintheirlifeeventhoughtheythinktheyare sendingouta different
vibration.Howcan thisbe?Here’swhy:
When your subconscious mind hears the words don’t, no or avoid, it automatically focuses on
whatever you instruct it not to think about.
For example:Asyoureadthis,don’tthinkabouta pinkelephant.If youare like mostpeople youwill
immediatelyseeanimage of a pinkelephantinyourmind,eventhoughthe instructionwastonotto
thinkaboutit!
How can you apply this idea to your life?
If you wantto lose weight,focusingonnotbeingfatisn’tgoingto create the vibrationyouwant.
Instead,focusingon – envisioningandembodyingyourgoal fulfilled –the benefitsof how youlookand

feel asyougaze at yourself inthe mirror,wearingclothesinasmallersize will produce feelingsof
excitement,happiness,satisfactionandjoy.Thisproducesthe positiveenergeticvibrationsthatsupport
your weightlossgoal beingfulfilled.
Whenyoucultivate andnourisha state of gratitude anddelightedanticipationforyourdesiredresult,
youattract ittoward youmuch faster.
Law of Attraction Techniques to Change Your Energy
Feelings and Law of Attraction Techniques:
The trick to The Law of Attraction is to notice what you are feeling – to use your feelings as
your personal radar system – and decide whether or not your feelings are producing the
vibration you want. If theyaren’tthenyoumustaskyourself,“WhatdoI really want?”
Listento the answerand visualizeyourdesiredresult. Imagine how youwouldfeel if youwere
accomplishingthatgoal rightnowand thenaddthose feelingstothe visualization. Picture yourself
accomplishingyourgoal andyouwill create a vibrationthatwill attractthe goal to you.The oftengiven
advice to ‘Fake ituntil youmake it”is basedonthissame principle.
The Law of Attraction Techniques
Become aware of your thoughtsandfeelingsasaway to consciouslyharnessthe powerof The Law of
Attractionby:
 Monitoringyourthoughtsandwords
 Noticingyourself-sabotagingstatements
 Monitoringwhatyouare feeling
Monitor your thoughts and words. Whenyou notice yourself-talk,yourthinkingoryour
wordsare focusedonwhatyou don’t want or what you wish were different re-focus your
attention on what you do want – yourdesired result,byasking,“WhatdoI really want?”
For example:
 What do I want?I don't wantto be sick.
 What do I want?I want to be healthy.

To consciouslyactivate The Lawof Attractionuse the full resourcesof yourimaginationtofocusonwhat
beinghealthylooksandfeelsliketoyou.
Use the contrast,what youdon’twant,as an opportunitytodefineandfocusonwhatyou do want.
Since youhave thousandsof thoughtsonany givenday,itcan be a challenge tomonitorall of your
thoughts.Thisiswhere youcan use your feelingstoallow youtobecome aware of yourthoughts.When
younotice youare feelingundesirablefeelings,complete the followingstatement:
Identifyyourfeelingsandself-sabotagingstatements.
WhenI am feeling_______________(identifyyourfeeling)_____________
I am thinking__________________(identify yourthoughts)____________.
Notice your self-sabotaging statements. These are the thoughtsthatinterfere withwhat
youwant.
For example:Youwanta fabulous,loving,romantic,soul mate relationship.Youstartto imagine how
wonderful itwouldbe tohave thisrelationshipinyourlife.Atthispointyouare sendingoutpositive
vibrations.
But if in the nextmomentyourself-talkisdeclaring,“Idon’tknow if I’ll everbe able tofindsomeone
thiswonderful –I haven’tsofar.I’m justtoo oldand notprettyor thinenough,”thenyouare canceling
the positive vibrationandunintentionally,andunconsciously,attractingthe opposite of whatyouwant.
If you notice thatyou cannotfocus onhavinga fabulous,loving,romantic,soul mate relationship
withoutbeingconfrontedwithsabotagingthoughts,thencreate statementslike:
 I am workingoncreatinga fabulousrelationshipinmylife.
 I am inthe processof creatinga great relationship.
 I love the ideaof havinga lovingrelationshipinmylife.
 I am excitedaboutthe thoughtof a lovingsoul mate relationshipinmylife.
 I have the powerand capacityto create a fabulousrelationshipinmylife.

 These statementswill keepyoufocusedonwhatyoudesire,derailyoursabotagingstatements
and keepyourenergyflowinginthe directionof yourdream.
Monitor what you are feeling.
Throughoutthe day identifywhatyouare feeling - the energeticvibrationyouare sending.Youmight
seta tone onyour phone tobeeponce an hour as a remindertodoa personal vibrationcheck.
Reminder:The more consciousyouare of the thoughtsyouare thinkingandthe vibrational charge they
generate the more youcan harnessthe powerof The Law of Attractionto live alovingandfulfillinglife.
Change your habit of negative thinking.
It takesa minimumof 21 daysto developahabit- SO GIVE YOURSELF TIME - Use Consistent,Regular
Practice whenpracticingthese activities.
Whenfacedwitha situationthatfeelsfearfulandconfusing - Askyourself- "WHAT DO I WANT TO
HAVE HAPPEN IN THIS SITUATION?" Thiswill turnyourfocuson what youwantrather than onwhat
youdo not want.
Whenyouare feelingstuck,depressedorunhappy - askyourself - WHAT CAN I DO RIGHT NOW THAT
SUPPORTS MY GREATNESS (HAPPINESS and JOY)? Then,doit. Thiswill sendastrong message to
your brainthat saysI am personwhodeserveshappinessandvaluesmyself.Refertoyour Pleasure List
for an immediateboost.

Session Twelve: Goal Setting: What Do You Really Want?
What doessuccessmeanto YOU? Define successforeachof the majorareas of your life.
1. Successinyour physical life (health,energy,fitness,etc.) =
2. Successinyour mental life (thinking,knowledge,memory,etc.) =
3. Successinyour spiritual life(faith,values,peace,etc.)=
4. Successinyour personal life (character,satisfaction,etc.) =
5. Successinyour familylife (relationships,love,helping,etc.) =
6. Successinyour worklife (career,reputation, achievement,etc.) =
Write a Personal Mission Statement
Accordingto StevenCovey,one of mosteffectivewaystobeginwiththe endinmindisto developa
missionstatementone thatfocuseswhatyouwantto be in termsof character and what youwantto do
inreference tocontributionof achievements.
Writinga missionstatementcanbe the most importantactivityanindividual cantake.
What isa missionstatement? Personalmissionstatementsbasedoncorrectprinciplesare like a
personal constitution, the basisformakingmajor,life-directingdecisions,the basisformakingdaily
decisionsinthe midstof the circumstancesandemotionsthataffectourlives.
Whenwe create a missionstatementof ourownand choose tolive byit we can flow withchanges.
Creatinga missionstatementisnotsomethingyoudoovernight.Ittakesdeepintrospection,careful
analysis,thoughtful expression,andoftenmanyrewritestoproduce itinfinal form.Itmay take you
several weeksorevenmonthsbefore youfeel reallycomfortable withyourownmissionstatement,
before youfeel itiscomplete andconcise expressionof yourinnermostvaluesanddirections.Even

then,youwill wanttoreviewitregularlyandmake minorchangesasthe years bringadditional insights
or changingcircumstances.
Here is an example of amissionstatementtohelpyougetstartedthinkingaboutyourown.
I choose to live by choice, not by chance, to make changes, not excuses, to be
motivated, not manipulated, to be useful, not used, to excel, not compete, I
choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the
random opinion of others.
Write your mission statement here:

Workshop Wrap up

POST-COURSE ASSESSMENT
1. What is self-esteem?
a. Self-esteem is the value or worth others place on you.
b. Self-esteem is the opinion a person has about their own self-image
c. Self-esteem is knowing no one else is as talented or smart as we are.
2. True or False: Self-esteem in one of those things you cannot change.
3. True or False: Giving up easily is a sign of low self-esteem.
4. Low or High Self-Esteem may be triggered by
a. The number of friends we have
b. The way we were treated by our parents as children
c. The part of town where we live
d. All of the above
5. True or False: Low self-esteem can keep you from reaching your potential.
6. True or False: Self-esteem affects our trust in others, our relationships, our work and
nearly every other part of our lives.
7. Good self-esteem can help you to
a. Be happier.
b. Make better choices.
c. Both A and B
d. Neither A nor B
8. Low self-esteem can affect :
a. Your view of life
b. Your ability to make decisions
c. Your dependence on others
d. All of the above
9. True or False: Positive self-esteem gives us the strength and flexibility to take charge
of our lives and grow from our mistakes without the fear of rejection.
10. True or False: Using affirmations to stop negative self-talk is a simple, positive way to
help increase self-esteem.

Believe in Yourself Personal Action Plan
I am already doing these things well:
I want to improve these areas:
I have these resources to help me:

Believe in Yourself: Build Self-Conficenceand Self-Esteem
As a result of what I have learned
in this workshop, I am going to…
My target
date is…
I will know I have
succeeded when…
I will follow up
with myself
on…

Believe in Yourself: Build Self-Conficenceand Self-Esteem
Believe in Yourself Rubric
Name: Date:
Teacher:
LESSON GOAL Use self-esteem strategies to accomplish goals.
ESSENTIAL QUESTION How can I develop confidence and build self-esteem?
STUDENT EXPECTATIONS
1. Participate in classdiscussions about Self-Esteem.
2. Complete a self-assessment ofSelf-Esteem.
3. Identifycharacteristics ofgood self-esteem.
4. Complete self-esteem activities.
5. View a Self-Esteem presentation.
6. Complete a personal lessonplanfor one self-esteem building block.
7. Write a personal mission statement.
Multiplythe points bythe weighted score and recordinthe total columnfor each rubric. Thentallythe totalpoints for the finalscore.
Weighted
Score
Category Exceeding
9-10 points
Meeting
6-8 points
Approaching
3-5 points
Emerging
0-2 points Total
1 Self-Esteem
Discussion:
Participateina
discussionaboutSelf-
Esteem.
Engaged in classroom
discussions fully by
offering thoughtful
responses.
Participated in
classroom discussions.
Did not offer comments
during discussions but
looked engaged and
demonstrated active
listening.
Did not participatein
classroom discussions.
2 Self-Assessment:
CompletetheSelf-
Esteem Self-
Assessment.
Completed allofthe
worksheet and scored
it according to
directions.
Completed most ofthe
it according to
directions.
Completed some ofthe
worksheet and
attemptedto score it.
Completed littleor noneof
the worksheet.
2 Characteristics of
good self-esteem:
Completed allofthe
it according to
directions.
Completed most ofthe
it according to
directions.
Made a moderateeffort
to complete the
characteristics worksheet
Made minimal orno effortto
completetheassignment.
1 Presentation:
Engage in viewing the
Managing Your Time
presentation.
Took complete notes
and wrote extensive
reflections.
Took notes and
answeredreflections.
Took some notes and
partially answered
reflection prompts.
Made minimal orno effortto
completetheassignment
2 CompleteSelf-Esteem
Activities:
Completeworkbook
activities, discuss and
analyze results
Completed workbook
activities in detail and
well organized and
analyzedincorporating
Self-Esteemstrategies.
Completed workbook
activities
Made an effortto
completeworkbook
activities
Made littleeffort tocomplete
workbook activities
2 Personal Mission
Statement:
Completea Personal
Mission Statement
Wrote a thoughtful
mission statementthat
demonstrated under-
standing and useof
Self-Esteemstrategies.
Completed a mission
statement.
Attemptedto
completea mission
statement.
Made littleeffort tocomplete
the mission statement.

Believe in Yourself: Self-Esteem 1
Believe in Yourself Course Evaluation
Dear Trainee,
We have a special assignment for you during this workshop. We would greatly appreciate it if
you could answer a few questions about your training experience. This will help us make your
next experience even better! Please return this form to your trainer after the workshop.
Thank you!
Your Training Team
General Information
Workshop Information
Name of Workshop
Location of Course
Course Length
A Bit About You (Optional)
Name
Do you want to be contacted about your training
experience?
If so, please provide your telephone number and/or
e-mail address.

General Evaluation
Strongly
Disagree Disagree Neutral Agree
Strongly
Agree
Overall, the training session was high
quality.
The course covered the material I
expected.
This training will be beneficial to me
in my job.
I had plenty of opportunities to
practice what I learned.
The course gave me specific ideas and
tools to implement in the workplace.
The trainer was professional, well-
prepared, and knowledgeable about
the topics at hand.
The training facility was well-
equipped and comfortable.
Overall, this course was worth my
time and effort.
Final Thoughts
If a friend were going to take this workshop, what would you tell them?

If you could change one thing about this course, what would it be?
What was the most important thing that you learned today?
Do you have anything else to share?

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