Better writing for the web, a review of tools to use to improve and shorten writing, and how people read online

1. Writing for the Web
OREGON EMPLOYMENT DEPARTMENT
Eola Viticulture Center | March 31, 2015
Chemeketa Center for Business and Industry
Jennifer Larsen Morrow, Creative Company

2. Writing for the web is different.
What we’ll cover today
• Online behavior – what’s
different?
• Who’s looking/searching?
• Writing to be understood
• Tools and methods
• Wrap up and questions

3. ONLINE
BEHAVIOR
1:00 to 1:45
(break)

4. Online behavior
Today’s audiences are
different.
Write to be found.
Write to be understood,
quickly.
Online. Mobile.
Mapped. Yelped.
Shared. Streamed.
Texted. Emailed.

5. Online behavior
• 85% of American adults are online.
• 88% of internet users conduct research online.
• 72% of American adults who
are online use social sites.
• Consumer review sites like Yelp
are growing exponentially
• Obsession? 23% of Facebook users
check their accounts five or more
times every day.

6. Start from their point of view.
What are they looking for?

7. Today’s web searchers are
impatient, scan rather than
read, and click away quickly if
what they’re looking for isn’t
easy to find.

8. We don’t read, we scan
Eye tracking
What draws the eye?
General scanning behavior:
• Faces and strong color elements
• Headlines, subheads and captions first
• Indicators, arrows
• People photos should face in to the
content

9. Eye tracking
Directing the eye, look where the face is looking

10. Eye tracking
Standard F pattern, beginning on the upper left

11. Search results
Meta data
Page titles and page descriptions
that show up as the result of a
search are the meta data.
Google will pick up the page name
and opening text, if meta
descriptions have not been added.
(150 characters/spaces)

12. Page title / headline
Page description –
or the page intro
Summarize what’s
on the page
(150 characters)

13. Common language
Helps SEO
Basic search engine optimization, using
common language vs. technical
language.
it’s about the user/reader, not about you.
Help them find you.

14. WHO IS
VISITING?
2:00 to 2:30

15. What do they want from you?

16. 88% of internet users conduct research online
More than half of online searches are on mobile
Online behavior
By a show of hands …
Who uses the internet to
research before making a
decision—to compare, check
reviews, learn, research,
follow up?

17. Who is looking?
Understand your readers
• Get clear about your audiences to
write more effectively
• Why do they want this information
/ data you’re providing?
• Whether economists, the media or
business owners, what do they
need and want?

19. Who is looking?
Extract highlights
• Highlights and key points first
• Pull out stats, facts, figures to
summarize as a sidebar
• What will they do with the
information you provide?
• “What’s in it for me?”

20. So? …
So? …
So?

21. Tip:
What is the article about?
What is the article REALLY
about?
>>Answer the second
question several times – each
response will improve upon
the previous one – a more
refined answer will give your
article laser-like focus
Example:
This article is about tips to
create better content.
This article is REALLY about
how to avoid mistakes many
writers make in creating their
leads and how to craft better,
reader-worthy leads.
An Editor’s Rant: 7 Questions Every Writer Should Be Asking, Ann Gynn, Content Marketing Institute

22. What’s in it for me?
Why should I care?

23. WRITE TO BE
UNDERSTOOD
2:30 TO 3:30
break

24. Graphs and charts to illustrate text
• Descriptive titles
• Keep charts simple and easy to scan
Break up text
• Bullets and sub-heads as highlights
• Short text and paragraphs
• Decks and pull quotes
Think visually

25. Deck:
Larger text, after the
headline, introduction
and summary (can
end up as meta
description)
Pull quote:
Larger text, italic, big
quote marks. Visually
separate from body
text

26. Deck:
Introduction, set the
stage, highlighted
Break up text:
Bullets, bold opening
to help scanning
Conversational
subheads instead of
labels/titles

27. Jargon …
Professional shorthand?
• Right-Wing
• Flip flopper
• Bailout
• Pro-Choice
• Greenwashing
• Lame duck
Or gobbledygook?
• “Tax liability” vs. “the tax you
owe”
• “Your estimated response
time” vs. “We expect to mail
them to you by …”
• “no cost, objective
counseling” vs. “free financial
counseling”
Say "shall" if you must: U.S. government jargon lives on
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/04/12/us-usa-government-language-idUSBRE83B1MJ20120412

28. Headlines
Does your headline deliver?
Encourage reading?
Intrigue or inform?
Or is it a “label”
Ex:
Training Resources
Vs.
Build and train your team
TIP
You’ll only have frustrated
and disappointed readers if
your headline (and your lead)
has little, if anything, to do
with the rest of the article.
An Editor’s Rant: 7 Questions Every Writer Should Be Asking, Ann Gynn, Content Marketing Institute

29. What’s in a glance? Subheads
TIP
Read your subheads as
standalone copy.
• Do they tell the story?
• Do they hit on every key point?
• Are they grammatically parallel
(i.e., if you use a verb as the
first word in one, use a verb as
the first word in all)?
• Adjust accordingly.
Readers skim.
They are likely to glance
beyond the lead to read the
subheads or bolded phrases.
Write subheads that clearly
map out your piece and can
(almost) stand on their own.
An Editor’s Rant: 7 Questions Every Writer Should Be Asking, Ann Gynn, Content Marketing Institute

30. Would I read this?
Don’t forget to be a reader.
Walk away. (coffee?)
Now, with fresher eyes, read
your lead.
Would you want to read this
article?
Be brutally honest.
If the answer is no, revise and
read again.
TIP
If you still can’t craft a good
lead, revisit the angle.
What needs to change so you
can write something your
audience would want to
read?
An Editor’s Rant: 7 Questions Every Writer Should Be Asking, Ann Gynn, Content Marketing Institute

31. Deck or “nut graph”?
The single sentence or
paragraph lets readers know
why this article is relevant and
valuable to them today.
The nut graph sets the stage.
TIP
Write a nut graph (some
writers find it’s helpful to
write it first so they always
stay on topic). Incorporate
the nut graph in the first three
to five paragraphs.
An Editor’s Rant: 7 Questions Every Writer Should Be Asking, Ann Gynn, Content Marketing Institute

32. • Active headline
• Strong photo
• “What’s in it for me?”
• Deck to introduce
• Visual categories
McMinnvilleBusiness.com
The quality of your workforce drives
the success of your business. Whether
you're looking for new employees or
skilling up your current staff, we have
plenty of resources. Talk to us about the
people who will help you thrive.

33. Shorter paragraphs
Subheads to scan
Next page:
Visual calls to action, using
“tiles” or badges
Bulleted lists

35. Don’t forget to proof
Spell check doesn’t catch
• Buy vs. but
• There vs. their
• Went vs. want
• Pubic vs. public
Ensure correct usage
• There, their, they’re
• Your, you’re
• Ensure vs. insure
• More than vs. over

36. Question yourself
What does this REALLY
mean?
Even if it sounds good at first,
how can you write to explain
it more clearly
• Quality … what does that
mean?
• Service … what does that
really mean?
Needs? NO …
• Objectives
• Goals
• Interests
• Plans
Or … ?

37. TOOLS
TO USE
3:45 to 4:45

38. • Shorter paragraphs
• Fewer sentences in each paragraph
• Fewer words in a sentence
• Simpler words
• Set “readability statistics”
Flesch – Kincaid Scale

39. Flesch Reading Ease
Flesch-Kincaid Grade
Level

40. Your Goal
• Readability above 60, as close to 100 as
possible
• Grade level around 6th grade, can be higher
for technical information
Simplify words:
• Loan vs. financing
• Buy vs. purchase
Test/rewrite, run the score a few times to see
what drives it down. Your writing will improve!
Flesch Reading Score

41. Active voice means that the subject is performing
the action in the sentence:
Passive voice means the subject is receiving an
action by someone or something else:
Active sentences push your point across more
succinctly and simplify word count
Flesch Reading Score

42. Don’t forget the Thesaurus
Mix up words, don’t repeat
How many different ways can
you say the same thing?
Vary the language to keep it
interesting
• Learn, review, discover, find,
read, explore, realize, notice,
find out, absorb, study

43. Examples
Updated for a better Flesch
score and lower grade level

44. Example 1: Original text
Surviving a Layoff
You’ve gotten the news that you’re being laid off and whether your
last day was today or is a month from now, this website is designed
to help you through this transition. Here you will learn how to file
for unemployment, update your resume and cover letter, adjust
your budget until you find a new job as well learn about the various
safety nets available to you and your family.
The most important thing you need to realize is it’s not your fault.
Flesch readability score 62.5 / 11.4 grade level

45. Example 1: Issues
Surviving a Layoff
You’ve gotten the news that you’re being laid off and whether your
last day was today or is a month from now, this website is designed
to help you through this transition. Here you will learn how to file
for unemployment, update your resume and cover letter, adjust
your budget until you find a new job as well (as) learn about the
various safety nets available to you and your family.
The most important thing you need to realize is it’s not your fault.
Extraneous phrases. Run on sentences. Too many words. Errors. They already know
they’re on a website, you don’t need to tell them. Get to the point. Active and direct.

46. Example 1: Revised text
Get through a layoff.
You’re being laid off. Whether your last day was today or is a
month from now, we’re here to help. Learn how to file for
unemployment and update your resume and cover letter.
Discover how to adjust your budget until you find a new job.
Learn about the safety nets available to you and your family.
Remember--it’s not your fault.
Flesch readability score 75.9 / 4.9 grade level

47. Tips
Look for “and” … are there two sentences instead of one?
Look for “ing” … how can you rephrase to eliminate, make it
active?
• Test vs. testing, assess vs. assessing
• Example: If that employee is successful at performing those
“skills” at your workplace and they score “high” on the test, it
may indicate that the test has validity at assessing skills needed
by your business.
• Revised: Have a current employee who demonstrates the skills
you’re testing for take the specific test. If they score “high,” the
test is a fit for the skills you need.

48. Simplify: eliminate prepositions/phrases
• In, on, from, to, with, for
Benefits and outcomes instead of labels and
descriptions
Details and examples vs. generalities
Conversational where appropriate
Tips

49. Simple and direct, get to the point
• Don’t state the obvious, “this website is for …”
Avoid “default” words that are over-used and
meaningless
• Quality, service, enjoy, needs, solutions
Simplify language, avoid the big words or buzz words
• Innovative solutions, wide array, achieving, aligning
Broad and general terms don’t provide as much meaning
as specifics
Tips

50. Example 2
We … aspire to advance
innovative workforce solutions
by seeking out and aligning
resources to achieve better
outcomes for businesses and job
seekers. We convene a wide
array of public and private
partners, achieving common
purposes, critical to community-
based solutions for regional
workforce challenges.
Flesch Score 17.7 / 16.1 grade level
How many more buzz words
could be crammed in?
What does this really mean?
What other words could tell
the story more clearly?

51. Sample text
Your turn … how would you
edit this?

52. Original:
Business Services Program
Through the Business Services Program, all local Job Service
offices provide enhanced services to business customers that
go beyond the traditional labor exchange of matching job
seekers to employer's openings. In Montana, a large majority
of the businesses are small operations, lacking human
resource departments. This provides an opportunity for Job
Service staff to fill an unmet need for many of our business
customers by providing employment law resources and
referral information.
Flesch Score 22.6 / 16.0
Example 3

53. Revised, V1:
Human Resource Services for Businesses
Many businesses in Montana don’t have human resource
departments. Staff at local Job Service offices can provide
employment law resources and referrals. Count on us to go
beyond matching job seekers to job openings.
Flesch Score 51.0 / 8.9
Example 3, Revised V1

54. Revised, V2:
Human Resource Services for Businesses
Many small businesses don’t have employment law experts on
staff. Local Job Service offices can fill that gap with resources
and referrals. Rely on our staff to go beyond just matching job
seekers to job openings.
Flesch Score 65.4 / 7.1
Example 3, Revised V2

55. WRAP UP
+ QUESTIONS
4:45 to 5:00

56. Questions? Comments?
Resources:
Content Marketing Institute
Copyblogger
Direct Marketing Institute
D Bonn Tennant

58. THANK YOU!
Any more questions?